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INSIDE MONSTER. THE FUGITIVE. (V.II)
CHAPTER 34: I MISSED YOU. CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?

CHAPTER 34: I MISSED YOU. CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?

Eyes bathed with tears, DooSan looked at the woman who made him suffer so much. She was also someone who brought him a lot of beautiful memories and made him madly love her, aware that she felt the same. He was sure that SolHi felt the same for him, and he knew that by looking into her eyes, which looked at him with love and regret at the same time. Even so, he couldn’t understand her at all. He couldn’t understand why she did what she did to him that night, in particular.

„As though we are strangers, SolHi. You broke into this house and tried to kill me as though I am one of your worst enemies. Why? Why?” The man shouted.

„It was necessary,” replied SolHi drily. Even her eyes were cold when she said that. At least SolHi tried to seem like that: cold and indifferent. Yet, she was so wrong and she understood this very soon when she looked into the man’s eyes where she saw misunderstanding, even if she also saw love in them. Even so, she decided that the best solution for both of them was to explain nothing to him. She told herself that if she kept silent, he would have been safe. At least she had to do that until the mission in which she’d been forcibly involved was over.

„Necessary? For who?” DooSan asked, making her wince and look into his eyes again while she looked past his shoulder by then.

„For all of us,” she coldly replied. These words hurt him deep inside. Her coldness also made him confused, although he was sure that SolHi was acting at that moment. At least this was what DooSan wanted to believe at that moment: that SolHi was acting and wasn’t there to hurt him.

Seeing her sketching a smile, DooSan frowned. „Are you smiling?”

„Mmm. It’s all I can do for the moment, right? I mean… this is all that those sentenced to death can do because… I don’t think I survive after this. Or… yes?”

„Ian SolHi!”

„What? Am I unfair to you right now?”

„Yes. You are cruel to me and I don’t understand why.”

„What I don’t understand is what makes you think I’m unfair to you. All I’ve done was the same thing I’ve always done: hurting people.”

DooSan gnashed his teeth. „The same trivial song as always, SolHi. You say the same random words to hurt me and push me away from you. Why?”

„Because… it is necessary.”

„That’s why you are here? Only because it is necessary?”

SolHi sketched a weird smile again. Then, looking into his eyes and flirting, she said, „Yes. Or what: did you believe that I’m here because I’ve missed you?”

The man suddenly winced. „Didn’t you miss me?” He asked eventually in a shaking voice.

„Yes. I missed you. I won’t deny that: I missed seeing your scared face while looking into my eyes, eyes you’ve never understood, isn’t it?”

„Mmm. I haven’t ever understood you, SolHi. I didn’t understand what you wanted from me,” he said, shaking inside. „I’ve never understood why you are so cruel to me when all I’ve done was to love you as I love you, SolHi.”

DooSan’s words made SolHi freeze for a few instants. She felt thousands of thrills crossing her body because this „I love you, SolHi” was told with his heart. „Something I don’t deserve though,” she whispered in her head, looking elsewhere again. „I don’t deserve this love,” she told him.

The man bitterly smiled. „You definitely don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve my love. But… even so, I can’t control this. I can’t control what I feel for you, just as I can’t be cruel to you as you are to me.”

„I am what I am, DooSan. I am what others want me to be… I am the person others want me to be. I’m a skillful pupil, remember? I can learn tough lessons. That’s why I don’t understand what’s wrong with this. I’m not as perfect as you wanted me to be.”

„I don’t want you to be perfect,” DooSan hissed through his teeth, pressing his elbow on her throat again. The pressure made her move a little, making him understand that she felt uncomfortable. Even so, he didn’t release her. He didn’t do that, feeling a strange desire of hurting her, just as she’d done that night because he had felt that rope damn well biting his throat. He felt his wounds stinging. That’s why he told her with hatred, „What I want… all I want from you is to stop pretending to be someone you aren’t. This is not you, Ian SolHi. It’s not you. I know you very well.”

SolHi pushed him away from her. „You know me?” She ironically asked. „Are you sure of that?”

„Yes, I’m sure. Why? I’ve learned to know you in those months we’ve lived together, SolHi.”

„Months followed by other long months lived in a cold jail, DooSan. Months you have no idea what I’ve been through… how they changed me. So, don’t even dare to say you know me, Han DooSan. You don’t know me. You know nothing about who I am and what I can do.”

„Of course, I know.”

„Of course, you don’t know me. You have no idea about this new Ian SolHi, who can kill just to punish those who hurt her. You can’t deny that you’ve also hurt me, DooSan. You hurt me more than others did. So…”

„…you’ve decided to turn me into your victim: killing me in my own house.” SolHi swallowed hard, looking elsewhere again. „You see? I know you. I’ve learned to read your soul, SolHi. That’s why I’m sure that you say something but think exactly the opposite.”

SolHi smiled in disbelief. „You know what I think? Really? And… what am I thinking right now?”

„That you love me and that you can’t understand how your perfect plan failed. It had to be everything perfect, right? Entering this apartment, which you know as the palm of your hand, finish what you planned, and disappear, as you’ve always done. To hide, better said, SolHi: as you’ve always done. Like a coward because you can’t deny that you’ve always been a coward related to who you are and what you feel.”

„You have no idea about what you say, DooSan,” SolHi stuttered, nervously moving in her spot. She felt nervous, understanding that DooSan knew her very well eventually. To some extent, he knew her if he could anticipate her plan, even though he couldn’t understand the real reason why she was there that night.

Seeing him heading toward her, SolHi involuntarily took a step behind her. For seconds, DooSan felt fear inside her. He felt that SolHi was afraid of him. That’s why he stopped and insistently looked at her.

„What this time?” She asked when she felt his glance focused on her.

„Nothing,” he calmly replied. „I am just trying to figure out what your mind is up to this time. I try to understand what you are thinking of and what you feel.”

„Just… usual things,” she murmured airily. Then, feeling the cold wall touching her back, she stuck to it, looking for shelter. „I’m thinking of things I can’t talk to you about.”

„Why? Because… these are things I can’t know about?”

„Something like that.”

„Still, I think I must know them, SolHi,” he suddenly hissed through his teeth when he felt the anger squirming inside him. „Why? Just because I’ve been about to be killed, SolHi. Not by a random person but by you… the one who wrapped a rope around my neck, looking to send me to the other world. Why? To make sure you won’t feel bored, Ghost?”

„It’s not the right moment for your irony, DooSan. And… I wasn’t trying to send you to the other world.”

„Aaa, no? What was that then? Proof of love?”

„Although you don’t believe that, yes, it was a proof of love. All I’ve done I’ve done for you.”

„Seriously? Are you serious right now, SolHi? Since when hurting someone is proof of love?”

„Since nobody could make you logically think, DooSan,” SolHi shouted. „Or what? Will you deny the fact that you’ve been reckless all these weeks since I escaped prison and after what happened in the DOC parking lot? Of course not! What you’ve done all this time was to sign your death sentence.”

„Something you tried to make real, right?”

„No. All I wanted was to bring you back to earth. To remind you that life is damn short and that it isn’t worth to waste it for stupid things.”

Her words filled his eyes with tears again. „For stupid things?” He hissed through his teeth. „Since when someone’s love is a stupid thing, SolHi? Since when my feelings for you aren’t important?”

„Since YuSan died,” she confidently growled, eyes in tears. „Since I’ve been about to follow him… so many times, by the way. Since so many people suffer for our feelings, DooSan. Especially you, and you don’t deserve this. That’s why I ask you to stop this!”

„To stop what? Loving you?”

„Yes. Stop acting like a hurt teenager and be a man, Han DooSan! At least once in your life stop thinking only of you and your egoism, and think! Why? Because… everything you do is meant to endanger others, including those you want so badly to protect.”

„Including you?”

„Yes, including me. Why? What you do makes others pay attention to you, DooSan. You make attentive those who want you dead, particularly. Thus, as long as you are in danger, I can’t do anything.”

The determination felt in SolHi’s words and her stern glance focused on him made DooSan wince. „I endanger you? What the hell are you talking about, SolHi? More than that, how do I stop you from doing what you want to do?”

SolHi frowned. „Are you serious right now, DooSan?”

„Yes, because… I can’t really understand you. I can’t understand what’s going on with you, SolHi. I really don’t understand because… it’s unreal. Why? Officially, you are dead. Everybody thought that. Yet, you are damn fine. I don’t understand this because… we all saw how Kim HanSol shot you. I saw you lying on the ground, full of blood,” DooSan said, shaking.

„All you saw was real,” said SolHi after a few moments of silence. „She shot me but it was necessary.”

„For who?” The man cut her off, although he’d seen that SolHi still had things to say.

„For everybody, and if you allow me to explain…”

„I don’t see what you can explain, SolHi. Not after the way you’ve shown up here tonight and not after you’ve deliberately made me think you were dead.” Seeing SolHi suddenly taking her jacket off and about to take the shirt off too, DooSan approached her. And, grabbing her both hands, he stopped her. Then, looking to the side, confused, he told her, „No need for extreme measures.”

SolHi scowled at him, not understanding what he meant. Then, realizing what could have crossed his mind, she glared at him. „Seriously now? Do you really think that, after I’ve tried to break your neck, I’ll move to the second step: seduction? I’m not nuts, DooSan.”

„Then?” The man murmured, pulling further from her. „I don’t think you’re trying to show what a ghost looks like.” SolHi burst into laughter. „What?”

„Nothing. I have just realized that you don’t think when it’s necessary. Yet… what am I even surprised? You’ve always been like that… so predictable. Yet, no: it’s not what I try to show you, but to convince you that I’m as real as you see me.”

„Still, it’s something I can’t easily believe.”

„Why?”

„The five bullets Kim HanSol used to shoot you? One after another? This is what doesn’t allow me to think logically, SolHi. And… I think that no normal person will logically think if seeing the „dead one” reviving right in front of him.”

SolHi reproachfully shook her head. „I wasn’t dead to revive,” she ironically told him. „Just… covered by bruises.”

Her words made DooSan frown this time. Looking at her, he saw her wearing only a sports top and five small bruises on her body: one right under her right shoulder and four on her back. „What’s that?” He asked, scared, approaching her to see her better.

Feeling the man close to her made SolHi feel ashamed. Particularly, she felt weird allowing him to see her scars and wounds so easily. That’s why she rapidly put the T-shirt on her before DooSan could touch her. Then, still nervous, she said, „This proves that HanSol didn’t try to kill me. She used blanks. Ones that hurt like hell because… I lost consciousness after she shot me. That’s why it seemed so real when I fell.”

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„What about the blood, SolHi? There was a lot of blood there. I’ve seen the white sheet they used to cover you when they took you out of the parking lot - it was full of blood. This isn’t something one can invent. I’ve seen this with my eyes and…”

„…I won’t deny that. I mean… I won’t say that what you saw wasn’t real. Yet, it was necessary: for everybody to think I was dead. Who took care of this? Kim HanSol and one of her assistants. She did that, although her initial plan was another one.”

„Another one? Which one?”

„To convince me to willingly join DOC and finish the investigation that Captain Lee sent me to do behind bars a year ago. Yet, while we were talking about this, someone showed up in the parking lot, forcing her to do something extreme. That’s why she fired her gun without warning me.”

„Something that tells me that she knew that you were there, in the parking lot.”

„Most likely Lee Ma Rin told her that she left me in her car.”

„Something you had no clue about, right? That Mrs. Lee planned to leave you in the parking lot and warn Kim HanSol about this.”

„I’m rather tempted to think that it’s been HanSol’s plan to make me get there and not Mrs. Lee’s plan.”

„What makes you think so?”

„When Lee Ma Rin and I got to the parking lot, it was completely empty. I even saw the warning „Disinfestation” when I stepped out of the car. This is what makes me think that HanSol planned everything up to the end.”

„To drag you into the lion’s lair. And you, willingly, went there.”

„Yes. Yet, I had to do that.”

„May I know why?”

„It was necessary, DooSan. It was necessary to find out more about the case Captain Lee involved me in. What I hadn’t expected was that I’d be so easily turned into a ghost and I’d give myself away in front of you after this also easily.”

DooSan squinted at her. „What you try to say is that I was not supposed to be informed that you are still alive?”

„Yes. Why? All those who know about me are in danger, DooSan. That’s why I think that if none of you had known about me, you would have been safe. At least I thought this was the best I could do for you.”

„And, at the same time, you also thought that the best defense for you was to twist my neck,” he growled upset, showing her his red neck. „Yet, why does it even surprise me? It’s not the first or the last time you’ve tried to send me to hell. I still remember the first night I moved here. You’d been about to do that then. Like it happened today: it was brilliant, I must accept that. Yes, you would have definitely managed that if I hadn’t watched out my back.”

SolHi glared at him. „What about not exaggerating, huh? All I tried to do was to teach you a lesson. So, if you had been a good boy, this would have ended easily.”

„Is it my fault now? That I defended myself?”

„Yeah! Why? If you had accepted HanSol’s offer to work with DOC the night she came here, you wouldn’t have experienced this today.”

„Aaa,” said DooSan airily. „The play today was to convince me, right?”

„Something like that. Or what… have you really thought that I’m here to get rid of you? If yes, you are dumb. Why? You serve me more alive than dead. And, if I had wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have complicated things by using a rope. Not when I know that you are physically stronger than me. Yet, let’s turn back to my plan: all I wanted was to scare you. I even had everything well planned: I was entering the apartment, I was „twisting your neck a little, and vanish.”

DooSan squeezed his fist. „Damn „convincing.” Your plan, I mean. Yet… you missed a detail.”

„That you weren’t sleeping at this hour? Yes, I must admit that.”

„What you don’t admit is that it wasn’t necessary. Why? It would have been easier for all of us if you had told me about your plan. Thus, you would have spared the effort of trying to kill me and not take the risk of the police finding you here. What if I had called the cops?”

SolHi squinted at him. „When? While you were fighting with me or after that? If after… that was the plan: for you to call the cops and them to believe that someone tried to get rid of you. Thus, everybody would have also been convinced that you aren’t involved in any „dirty business.” What I didn’t expect was that I’d be more injured than you.”

„Well-deserved wounds, I think. Thus, we are even,” the man growled, touching his throat. „Now, let’s go back to your plan: a damn reckless one in my opinion, and what makes me think you are both nuts.”

SolHi scowled at him unhappily because she felt her ego hurt hearing him calling her „dumb” with big words. Then, understanding what the man meant, she squeezed her fists, hissing through her teeth, „No personal attack, Han DooSan! Saying this, she turned herself into the same hunting dog again, one that Han DooSan knew very well.

Taking a step toward him, she made DooSan pull back, knowing very well what SolHi’s fangs, stubbed into his skin, felt like. That’s why he peacefully raised his hands, a hint that he surrendered. Then, grinning, he said, „All I meant was that you didn’t really have a lot of time to think about your plan. I mean… if I had allied with your „assassin, after everything I did for you, it would have been more suspicious, don’t you think so?”

SolHi cooked her nose. „Well, maybe you are right… our plan might have had the opposite effect we wanted. Even so, you could have said that you allied with DOC to bring justice to your brother.”

DooSan frowned. „Are you serious now, SolHi? The whole world saw how much I suffered when I heard about your death. The same world knew about my feelings for you. Then, so suddenly, I ally with the enemy? It would have been damn suspicious, SolHi. Why? Because… instead of cracking your assassin’s head, I would have shaken her hand.”

„Yeah, maybe you are right. We didn’t think about this. Yet, HanSol has been right eventually.”

„About what?”

„That you are a prosecutor eventually. One that everybody knows as someone who loves to bring justice to himself and others. Not violently but using the law. And, even if you had allied with the enemy as you said, people would have still thought that you did that to control HanSol and find evidence against her.”

„Well, I didn’t think about that either. Even so, it would have been risky.”

„Not as risky as the fact that Moon Joon Won was about to find out that everything was a trick.”

„Lee’s assistant?” DooSan asked, frowning. „Was he involved in this?”

„Sort of. I mean… he’s the cause of all this setup. Kim HanSol saw him coming and didn’t want to let him suspect that we were planning something. That’s why she fired the gun.”

„Now I get this,” replied DooSan, turning his back to her. „I mean… why SoRan and Kan said that Moon Joon Won is dangerous, once he might be involved with Min SinJu.”

„I’m already sure that he’s involved,” said SolHi, making DooSan attentive. „I saw him talking to Min SinJu a few days ago.”

„Then, it’s confirmed.”

„Yes. I also told HanSol about this. And, once she was suspecting this, she decided to turn me into a ghost rather than take the risk of him finding out about her and Lee’s plan.”

„Perhaps you’re right, SolHi. Maybe her decision was the best at that moment. Yet, let’s not forget that Min SinJu isn’t stupid. Thus, as nobody saw your body, it’s suspicious.”

SolHi sat on the floor. „What you try to say is that Moon Joon Won visited Min SinJu because that one ordered him to find me: dead or alive?”

„It might be. That’s why I think he’s following Kim HanSol right now.”

„I don’t think so,” replied SolHi confidently, making DooSan insistently look at her. Yet, although she felt that DooSan was waiting for her to continue her thought, she kept silent for a while. Then she said, „Moon Joon Won tried to kill HanSol.”

„What? When did this happen?”

„The same day she „killed” me. I was still unconscious when this happened and I didn’t see that. Yet, HanSol showed me the footage later. It’s when I saw Moon Joon Won firing his gun and injuring her arm. Then, HanSol’s men came to the parking lot. If not, he’d probably killed her that day.”

„And, once HanSol’s gun was loaded with blanks, she didn’t shoot him.”

„Yes, she didn’t want to blow up the mission or let him know that I was still alive. That’s why she risked her life.”

„What I don’t understand is how Kim HanSol could take you out of the DOC parking lot and make others think you were dead. Or… did DOC know that and Moon Joon Won can find out any time about you?”

„No, DOC has no clue about HanSol’s plan. Only a few people know about this: HanSol and three of the agents she trusts the most. More than this, after he tried to kill HanSol, Moon Joon Won got in my boots.”

„Like ghost or fugitive?”

„Fugitive. DOC is trying to catch him after HanSol filed a complaint against him.”

„That’s why he hid in Min SinJu’s wasp’s nest.”

„Most probably yes. That’s why we keep an eye on that club. Not only Moon Joon Won is targeted but all those involved with Min SinJu because… all of his businesses stink.”

DooSan frowned. Then, squatting right in front of her, he hissed through his teeth furiously, „Are you behind them?”

„Yes. It’s the pact I have with HanSol.”

„Ia, Ian SolHi, how the hell can you risk that much? You know very well that Min SinJu can be damn dangerous.”

„We have no choice, DooSan. If we want to get rid of him and live in peace, we have to be right behind him. I also think that HanSol is right when she says that only those who live in the shadows can unmask others who live the same life. I’m the shadow now, remember? Just like Min SinJu. And, once I’m good at living like that, I can also find out things about him.”

„Yeah, I know what you can do, SolHi. Even so, I don’t want to know that you are in danger all the time, something I think that has always been around you. Yet, this is a bigger danger now because even if Kim HanSol used blanks to shoot you, I don’t think Min SinJu will do the same if he finds you. He’ll use a real gun for sure. And, if this happens, we won’t ever find you. Or… he buries you somewhere alive.”

SolHi squinted at him. „What about not exaggerating now with such „glorious predictions?”

„It’s the truth, SolHi. Not an exaggeration. Or… will you deny that?”

„No! It’s what can happen. Even so, I can’t give up. Not now and not after everything that happened. That’s why I ask you to help us, once you’ve involved yourself in this.”

DooSan nervously moved in his spot. Then, he said, „I’ll help you, yes. Yet… no way of an open collaboration with DOC.”

„Because of your „feelings” for me and your „hatred” for Kim HanSol?”

„Exactly. If we don’t do that, we’ll be suspicious for sure. So, each of us will play his role as well as he can, and you’ll be the one informing Chief Kim about this. Something you’ll do for sure, even without my advice because you are damn good at such things. And… you’ll also tell her that if something happens to you in this mission, I’ll kill her for sure.”

SolHi smiled. Then, standing up, she approached him and kissed his cheek. By kissing him, she managed to surprise DooSan. „What?” She asked him, seeing DooSan staring at her, confused.

„Just… some ideas that might have crossed my mind,” he whispered, trying to kiss her lips.

SolHi suddenly pulled back. Pointing him with her finger, she told him sternly, „Keep your fantasies to yourself, okay? What we should do is act, not this.”

„To act? How?”

„Just a plan I have with HanSol. Yet, for this to be a success, we need to involve Iun Min Hiok too.”

„Iun Min Hiok?” DooSan nervously grumbled. „What has he to do with our mission?”

„A lot. I mean… to deceive others, including the General Attorney, we need him. Thus, while Iun Min Hiok gives him some headaches, we’ll act from the shadows.”

„I don’t see how he’ll do that.”

„Simple: by investigating the case that everybody is talking about. Which one? „Is Ian SolHi guilty or not?” Thus, pouring oil on the flames, he’ll help everybody forget about my… death. The second case he’ll investigate will be the one related to child trafficking.”

„The same case Kim HanSol told me about a few days ago?”

„Yes.”

„I thought that this case was a secret, SolHi. I know that it’s been eight years already since they worked on this case. At least this is what Kim HanSol told me: that YuSan started investigating it. If we make it public now…”

„…we can endanger this mission. Even so, I think that’s worth the risk, DooSan. Why? It’s a proven thing already: we aren’t capable of solving it alone. Yet, with the help of the people, we have a chance.”

„I don’t see how to do that, SolHi. I mean… if it’s true and someone has seen something, I don’t think he’ll tell the police. Not after all these years of silence. Plus, I don’t think that those kids are still alive. If nobody has found them in eight years, it means they are gone a long time ago.”

„This doesn’t mean we have to give up, DooSan. Even if we find one single child alive or a track toward them, it’ll be a huge step in front, for all of us. Even if we only find those who hurt them, we at least have a chance to bring justice to them and impede other children from suffering the same.”

DooSan kept silent for a few moments. „I get it,” he said. „Yes, maybe you are right when you say that even though we will only find the guilty ones and not the victims, we still have a chance to impede them from hurting others.”

„What about Iun Min Hiok? Can you handle this?”

„Yes, I’ll do it first thing tomorrow. And… I don’t think he’ll refuse us. Not if he finds out that YuSan was involved in that. If we involve him in this, he might be the link between DOC and the Prosecution without me being directly involved in this.”

„Sounds good! Thus, while you and HanSol will play your favorite game of the cat and the dog that show their fangs to each other, Iun Min Hiok has the chance to investigate the two cases. Meanwhile, you should try to reopen every single case I’ve worked on.”

„I don’t see how this will serve our cause.”

„Simple: by using my name as bait, you’ll give Iun Min Hiok the chance to reopen my case.”

„Thus, we can make everyone see Min SinJu as the root cause of everything, including Lee Ha Ni’s case, Yun Shi Yon, Park Yu Ra, Iun Dja Iun, Nam Sang Ki, the truck’s driver case, and the case of Do Hun Sok.”

„Exactly. We’ll make public the rest of the cases he’s been involved in later.”

„What about you, SolHi? What case will you investigate?” SolHi kept silent, biting her lower lip. „Don’t tell me that you intend to embed yourself in Min SinJu’s organization.”

„I’m not sadomasochist to stand on my head through that noose. Not when Min SinJu knows my face. What I’ll do is act from the shadows and find out every single weakness he has. I’ll also try to find out who his friends and enemies are and leave him completely alone.”

„Something damn difficult to achieve, I think. Why? We both know very well that he has enough „friends” around him. He also has servants.”

„I also know that. Yet, working as a team, we can eliminate them one by one. I say to start with San DuSik, who’s Min SinJu’s lawyer now.”

„What? Min SinJu preferred San DuSik over his cousin?”

„No, it’s not that. Ian Hion Uk is as involved in this as always. He’s the one who hired DuSik after this one was kicked out of the Prosecution.”

„Damn dog that waves his tail to find a bone to chew.”

„You are actually right, DooSan. Yet, this isn’t something to surprise us because we both know what relations he has. What I didn’t know was that your mother would use this against you, kicking you out of the Prosecution.”

„And you know this because?” The man growled through his teeth.

„Because such news circulates faster in the world of the ghosts?” Saying this, SolHi winked. Then, both of them burst into laughter, finding the joke damn good.