Caleb knew about god-emperors, mostly from fiction. One of his best friends had spent way too much money on those little figurines. And on the books. And on the tabletop roleplaying games.

In fact, if it was fantasy and humans were fighting against hordes of other races in space while worshiping a dead Jesus figure, his friend was buying it. But Caleb could never get into the whole thing. Not because of the premise, Caleb loved all the fantasy ideas. But the ruleset was just so terrible! All rolling in the hope of getting sixes and the new sets always more powerful than the old by a ridiculous margin.

"Did it really have to be a god-emperor though?" He muttered to himself. "That's so cliché."

Unfortunately, he wasn't quiet enough. "Did I hear you call the Emperor cliché?!" Erupted the angry Emoter.

"He did! He did!" Laughed the joyful one.

"Why must he do such a terrible thing." Moaned the sad one.

Caleb looked between the three and then shrugged. "Yeah. It's cliché. I've read a lot of fiction from before all this insanity and about a third had some sort of god-emperor in them. Not your fault though, you couldn't have known."

"There is no Emperor besides our own!" The angry one shouted.

"I hear ya man," Caleb answered, sticking a finger into his ear to clean out some earwax. "Boy do I hear ya. If the worldbuilding wasn't so cool I woulda stopped reading them all. At least yours doesn't have a harem though am I right?"

"Cease this nonchalance! You are in the presence of the Emoters, speakers for the Emperor himself!"

"I thought they were more like interpreters?" Caleb said to Sorossa.

The alien flinched when addressed and tried to cower in his robes. Why was this monster getting him involved? He was only an escort, meant to deliver Caleb and wait while the Emoters discussed. He wasn't allowed to be a part of the conversation!

"You doing okay there buddy?" Caleb asked.

"Don't ignore us!" "I am not your buddy!" Shouted the wrathful Emoter and Sorossa at the same time.

Sorossa froze. He'd entered the conversation. And worse, he spoke at the same time as the Emoter, the conduit for the Emperor himself. He'd just spoke over the Emperor!

Sorossa squeezed his makeshift stress ball so hard it burst. Cleaning gel popped out from between his hands, spraying Sorossa's robes and the surrounding area. A bit of gel landed right on the Emoter's face. And it was the angry one.

All color drained from the alien's face. Caleb whistled. "Wow, didn't even know you could get that pale." The man walked over, Bat in hand, and pat Sorossa on the back. "It's okay though. We all make these kinds of mistakes."

Sorossa couldn't take it anymore, he fainted. His eyes rolled upward and he slumped to the ground. Caleb grabbed at him with one hand but only got the shoulder. The alien's body awkwardly fell on the ground left side first as Caleb tried to hold up the weight of an entire alien. He stumbled forwards as Sorossa fell, tripping on his own feet and dropping Bat.

Bat clanged against the floor headfirst. Its momentum carried it around in a complete somersault and it kept going, sailing right towards the Emoters. The aliens, already stunned by Sorossa's outburst and then fainting, were unprepared for Bat as its head collided with the Joyful Emoter.

Metal met bone and the Emoter's brain rattled. He flailed backward, catching the sleeve of the sad Emoter. This caused the two to fall in a heap on top of each other. And as luck would have it, both aliens' heads collided. Two more fainting bodies joined the third on the floor.

"You… You!" The last Emoter shouted. All his anger, all the rage he ever received from the Emperor, focused on the chubby man. With a growl they lunged, arms outstretched to choke Caleb.

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Caleb let it happen, not like the Emoter's flimsy strength could do anything. Hands wrapped around his neck and squeezed. But no matter how hard they tried, the Emoter couldn't make more than a slight pressure. Caleb yawned.

"You done?" He said.

"Do you know what you've done!" Screamed the Emoter. "You've ruined the balance!"

Caleb tried to shrug but found his shoulders couldn't move upwards with the alien's hands on him. He settled for a shake of the head instead.

"There are always three!" Continued the Emoter. "Three to interpret the Emperor! Without the others we will falter!"

"Not really my problem," Caleb said.

"You swore an oath to protect Varnoss! It's every bit your problem!" The Emoter screeched.

"Yeah, but I wasn't serious." Caleb rolled his eyes. "You took me under coercion, why would I be serious?"

The Emoter shook Caleb back and forth in a futile attempt to choke the man. It was the sight Sorossa woke to. He blinked but the image in front was still there. Caleb was getting choked by the Emoter of Wrath and the other two were on the ground in a heap. A metal stick with a yellow face lay next to them.

"Can you stop with the choking?" Caleb said. "I think it's starting to awaken something in me."

The Emoter of Wrath didn't stop, only trying harder to squeeze the blaspheming throat shut. The other two Emoters started to stir. Sorossa fainted again.

The Emoters of Joy and Sadness opened their eyes to the sight of Wrath choking the life out of Caleb. In a panic, the two stood and rushed over. Each grabbed an arm.

"No! It is not our place to punish!" Moaned Sadness.

"Yes! That is for the Emperor to say!" Cackled Joy.

The two tugged at the Emoter of Wrath's arms, prying them off Caleb's neck. Huffing, the three Emoters looked at the man. "The Emperor will judge you." All three said in unison.

Caleb walked over to the spot where Bat lay and picked it up. All three Emoters flinched back. "Oh chill you babies," Caleb said. "I'm not going to use it on you. Besides, Bat wasn't supposed to attack you like that, was he?" Caleb glared down with reproach at his weapon. He flipped Bat over so its smile became a frown.

"That's right, you should be sorry."

"You’re insane!" Roared the Emoter of Wrath.

"Bonkers!" Giggled Joy.

"Lost your mind," Wailed Sadness.

"Says the guys with only one emotion," Caleb retorted.

"Enough!" Barked Wrath.

"Yes!" Said Joy.

"You will be judged," Wept Sadness.

The three turned to each other in a huddle, ignoring the outside world. With nothing to do, Caleb walked back over to Sorossa and took a look. The alien had awoken earlier but had curled into a ball to shut out the world. Caleb poked him with his foot. With no response, Caleb tried again. This time with Bat.

The love-tap from Bat was the tough love kind and Sorossa flinched from the strike. It only made him curl up tighter. "I don't think defense curl works in real life," Caleb quipped.

"The Emperor has spoken!" Cried the Emoters. All three turned to Caleb, judgment in their eyes.

"You will be sent to the prison planets of Notta to mine precious maals needed in the fight against the Jora. For a hundred years you will toil before seeing the light of a sun again. So says the Emperor!"

Caleb raised an eyebrow. "So the god-emperor has a prison planet. Of course he has a prison planet. Hey, do you have a planet for everything? Is there a cake planet?"

"Silence!" Wrath cried. "Guards! Seize him!"

From the doors emerged two soldiers clad in golden armor. A rainbow of light whirled around them in a kaleidoscope of color. The two soldiers pulled out swords of brown light from their belts and stalked towards Caleb. The man couldn't help opening his mouth, "Brown lightsabers? Really?"

The two soldiers' response was a charge at Caleb.

But before Caleb could bring Bat up to fight, a rumble shook the building. Everyone stumbled to their feet as the floor shook and cracked under the violent earthquake. A mighty crack! Sounded up above and Caleb looked up to see slabs of the roof falling down.

The two soldiers scrambled to their feet and bolted over to the Emoters. They grabbed all three in their arms between them and made a beeline for the door.

"No! The Emperor!" All three cried. Their hands reached out up and away.

Something fell down into the doorway leading out of the room collapsed before the soldiers could reach it, forcing them to stop their flight. Dust billowed outward from the area, obscuring all sight. Caleb coughed and waved dust away from his face.

Footsteps sounded from inside the doorway, loud and heavy. Caleb squinted through the cloud but only barely made out a figure in the doorway. A hazy, four-armed, giant silhouette.

"Jora!" Screamed someone. It sounded a bit like Sorossa but Caleb was unsure. A laugh bellowed throughout the destroyed amphitheater. It was a popping sort of laugh, stopping and starting at even intervals.

"Run! Up the stairs!" Someone yelled. A body shuffled past Caleb. He debated for a second but turned to follow. He could fight a Jora later. Right now he wanted to see where these aliens were going.

The stairs led up to a small alcove with an elevator of some kind. Caleb watched as soldiers and Emoters crowded into the small box and closed the door. The box flashed red and a horn blared. A thwump! Sounded and the box shot downward with intense speed. Caleb walked over to it and looked down. A tube led down from the amphitheater into the dark below.

Caleb turned to his trusty partner. "Ready to see what's down there?" He asked Bat.

It nodded.

"Geronimo!!!" Caleb whooped as he jumped down into the dark.