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Muscle Cars Aren't Known for Brains

Muscle Cars Aren't Known for Brains

Alex bristled in fury and grabbed Chonkers in her hands. Taking a pitcher's pose, she whipped Chonkers forward, the nanocat light as a feather in her hands.

"Catapult!" She yelled. The nanocat accelerated forwards.

"Har har, they're throwin' a meal at us!" The first car said. It reached out a hand to catch Chonkers. The nanocat activated its power, growing heavier as it traveled. Chonkers collided with the monster's hand and ripped through it, the arm connected to it, and the part of the chassis that connected the arm to the car.

"Huh?" The monster turned, dumbfounded, and stared at its arm. Alex didn't let the moment go to waste, grabbing Rocket and catapulting him at the monstrosity as well.

The mishipeshu flew forwards in a flash, tearing through the torso of the monster. Rocket's claws gouged through metal, leaving a gaping hole in the middle. "I don' feel… So… Good," The car monster said as it toppled onto the ground in a crash.

"Jeb!" The monsters yelled.

"I'll get you for that!" One cried at Alex. It charged at her, arms outstretched. She pounced out of the way towards Chonkers and Rocket.

Its momentum carried into the wall. "Hold still!" The monster demanded.

The other car monster was turning to charge at Alex as well now.

"Butterwhiskers, you're up," Alex said, her voice growling.

The cat sidhe appeared and slipped between the legs of the chasing monster. The car kicked at it but Butterwhiskers was too nimble and slipped away, her form becoming mist once again. The kick missed and collided with a protruding jack. The piece of equipment sailed upward, bouncing off the wall with a mighty clang!

"Wha?" the monster said as the jack returned to bean it straight in the head.

"Argh!" It cried.

Alex took the opportunity to pick up Chonkers and move behind the unlucky monster. This put it between her and the one recovering from its wall crash. "Where'd you go!" The car demanded.

Chonkers in hand, Alex whipped him forwards into the back of her current foe.

"Catapult!" She cried out again. The nanocat bulleted forwards into the flailing monster's backside, breaking chassis and metal. A perfect hole appeared on the monster as Chonkers rotund form carved through.

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"Ow…" The monster called as it fell to the ground.

"Other Jeb!" The final car cried out. Alex turned to face it, Rocket back at her side.

The car monstrosity charged again, arms outstretched in the same position as before. The thing's headlights flickered red as it came close. Alex had the impression that these monsters weren't all that bright.

"Damn it," She cursed at her unintentional pun. She grabbed at Rocket and made to throw him. "Catapult!" She cried out for the final time.

Rocket blasted forwards, claws placed in front like a nosecone on a missile. Cat met car once again and the car lost for the third time. The large feline ripped into the final chassis and came out the other side covered in oil and gas.

"Wha…" The final monster said as it collapsed in a heap.

Alex solemnly walked over to the roaring fire at the end of the room and gathered all the dead animals slaughtered by the fiends. Most of them were cats, but a few were possums or raccoons. There was even a dog mixed in. Alex didn't care. With careful actions, she placed each corpse on the fire and clasped her hands together. The corpses burned as Alex sat there. "I'm sorry this happened to you," She lamented.

She placed the last corpse onto the fire, a tiny kitten no larger than her hand. Her heart bled to see something so innocent dead. It too went up in flames, but she could have sworn the smoke transformed into an image of a perfect kitten, just for a second. A tiny meow sounded beside her. She looked over to see her cats lined next to her, each staring at the makeshift funeral pyre. The glow of orange and red reflected off their glossy skin and fur.

Kit teleported over to Alex and nuzzled her neck. "Thanks, Kit," She said as she pat his head.

"Alright, we need to get going," Alex said after another minute of silence. She collected anything useful she could see and placed a beacon next to the door leading out of the garage. Readjusting the satchel on her shoulder after storing her perfect pets, Alex made towards the garage door.

The sound of an engine caused her to pause. The engine was a deep rumbling sound, similar to the one the other monsters made but smoother. Realizing it was getting closer, Alex dove back towards the door leading to the hallway. She heard the garage door open as she slipped through the door, holding it open just slightly to see.

A truck drove into the garage, trailer hitched to the end. As it entered, the flatbed transformed. The car bent in the middle, the end splitting into two legs. The wheels unfurled towards the end and became the feet. Back at the front of the truck, the chassis had elongated into a torso. The two front wheels twisted down onto the chest area and two arms of pipe and metal spiraled out from the axles. The hood of the car shrunk and twisted. Headlights moved up past the windshield to rest above and the hood flapped open in a facsimile of lips.

"Boys!" The monster rumbled in smooth cadence. "Your momma's home and she brought some more treats!"

The monster turned to the trailer still hitched to a back leg and unhooked it. Grinding metal scratched Alex's ears as the chassis turned in ways it was not meant to. "I got 'em fresh too!" The monster yelled, opening the trailer.

Inside stood a family. A mother, father, two little boys, and a girl. The parents were standing over their kids, arms outstretched to protect the three. The kids shivered behind them. Alex noticed all three were young, the oldest couldn't be more than twelve.

"Boys?" The momma car called again after a moment of silence. "You fall asleep after your meal again? I told ya y'all can't do that there's dangerous stuff round these parts."

It was then the monster noticed the bodies on the ground. "There ya are," It said. "I knew y'all were sleepin'."

It walked over and shoved at the body. It flopped over and the monster saw the gaping hole in its torso. "Boys?" It said.

It looked at the other two, flipping them over to see their matching wounds. The thing's engine revved. "Boys?" It cried.

"Jeb?" It pushed the monster without and arm. "Other Jeb?" It pushed at the monster beaned by the jack. "Jeb Too?" It pushed at the final monster Alex had killed. A sob, sounding like a backed-up engine, escaped its hood.

"Boys!!" It cried, cradling the three monsters in its arms.

"Who did this to ya? Who woulda done such an awful act! Oh why! Why oh why!" The monster cried.