Caleb was dying. Dying of laughter. The man's name was Porkins, he looked like a pig. He sang songs about the three little pigs. It was amazing.

The others were staring at him, perplexed. "I see that my reputation has already left you speechless!" He boistered.

Caleb rolled onto the ground. "Hahaha! He's… He's --" Hailey kicked him in the rear.

"I'm sorry about him, Mr. Porkins," She started.

"My lady, call me David. No need for formalities between fellow airmen." He said with a bow.

"Alright, David. I'm Hailey, one of the three councilmembers of Three Cities. It's nice to meet you." Hailey walked over to the man and offered a hand.

The portly man grabbed it and shook fervently. "Nice to meet you as well! We were flying by, doing some test runs and formations when we saw your magnificent city in the sky. We all just had to know what marvelous personage created such an object."

"To be honest David, we're not sure how we got this in the sky. We were desperate, on the run from that empire appearing some days back." Hailey said frankly.

Caleb had finally stopped his fit of laughter and was checking out the cars and pilots. "They didn't like it much when we refused their generous offer of servitude." He chimed in, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Who knew those sheep were actually wolves in disguise!" David exclaimed.

"Indeed!" Caleb agreed.

"We were running east in order to escape their squadrons," Hailey said. "Though I doubt they'll be giving up."

She looked back west, seeing specks in the distance that were most likely their pursuers. "Shit, I can still see them."

David turned around to see. "My what terrible wolves, chasing you all this way." He turned back to Hailey. "Tell you what, if you'll allow us to take a look at this wonderful city and provide us with a few amenities the Flying Hogs will take care of your wolf problem."

Hailey searched David's face, looking to see if there was any tell that he was lying. All she saw was sincerity. She nodded, "If you can keep them from destroying the city I'd do practically anything."

David clapped his hands together. "Excellent! Men! -- "

"And women!" A pilot said.

"Yes thank you, Krista, but I was trying to go for brevity. Now where were we? Men! And women! It's time for us to go hunt some wolves!" David hopped up, backflipping into the seat of his car like a whale breaching water. Pilots cheered in agreement as they all jumped back into their cars. Before they could take off, Caleb knocked on David's window.

"Got room for another?" He asked. He wasn't about to miss this.

"Caleb, stop bothering everyone you meet," June said.

"I'm not bothering him, I'm asking a question." Caleb turned back to David. "So whaddya say?"

"Aha! A co-pilot. Excellent!" David said. "Come in come in! You can man the guns, long as you can pull a trigger of course!" The man laughed, his face jiggling.

Caleb made finger guns and shot them. June facepalmed. David motioned Caleb in and the man scrambled over the hood of the car and into the passenger seat.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

The inside of the car was as antique as the outside. The seats were more like benches, cushioned with red velvet. Between Caleb and David jutted a long knob that Caleb assumed was a gearshift. Another lever sat next to it, the end splitting in two. Caleb assumed it was a handbrake.

David inserted a key into a hole on his side and grabbed the steering wheel. "And off we go!" He whooped.

The engine turned and roared. Caleb saw the car move to hover off the ground. David turned the wheel and the car spun around, now facing the west gate. The large man pressed down on the gas pedal and the car flew forth. The rest followed behind.

Caleb found a seatbelt on his right and hooked it around him. David reached over and slapped the glove compartment. It fell down and revealed a panel. Two joysticks with triggers sat on each side of a screen which was showing the rear end of the car. Taking the joysticks in hand, Caleb flicked them left and saw the screen move left. He pushed them to the right and the screen did the same.

"You'll be watching my rear," David said.

"My, how forward," Caleb said with mock shock.

David laughed. "Did anyone ever tell you how cheeky you were?"

"Nah, they say I'm more of an ass." He replied.

The flying cars cruised forward in a V shape as Caleb and David rebounded bad puns off each other. The Varnoss Aircraft became more than just specks in the sky and Caleb could make out their characteristic shapes. The bombers were formed up in a line with the fighter jets escorting on the side. As the two forces loomed closer David pulled a microphone off a handle and spoke into it. A loudspeaker crackled to life as his voice boomed out. "Alright boys, those wolves are drawing in close. Time to set up the brick house."

Cheering rang out as David hung up. The Hogs flew out of their V formation and into a loose square. The Varnoss fighters moved ahead of the bombers and moved to intercept David's squadron. Fighters and Flying cars made a pass at each other. The flying cars' headlights had been refitted into some sort of laser and pulsed out deadly beams of light. In response, the fighters shot their own lasers of death.

Few hits were made in the exchange. The Varnoss had some sort of shield protecting them while the Flying Hogs flying skills allowed for deft maneuvers. Those unlucky enough to be hit spiraled down to the earth. The crashing fighter pilots ejected from their falling aircraft while the Flying Hogs kept their descent controlled and landed on a strip of road.

"The wolves are huffing and puffing boys! Keep it going!" David called from the loudspeaker.

"And girls!" Krista shouted from her car.

Caleb was holding onto the joysticks, doing his best to keep his sights on the screen. David was twisting through the sky, deftly dodging all fighters. A Varnoss fighter tried playing a game of chicken only to lose. "Who taught you how to drive!" Caleb yelled after it. "A blind man?"

Underneath Three Cities Nathan looked up from playing with Rover. "I feel like I'm being insulted for some reason."

Caleb unleashed a volley of fire at the retreating Varnoss fighter, scoring a few hits on its chassis. The fighting had become a loop of cars and fighters. One would fly in evasive maneuvers while the enemy chased, only for that enemy to get chased in turn by someone else. "This is turning into a choreographed dance number," Caleb said.

"Just so!" David agreed heartily. "I think its time to get the drop on these wily wolves."

The man grabbed his mike once again. "Prepare the pot!" David shouted. The rotund man floored the gas pedal, jolting the car forward and outpacing the enemy fighters. The fighter sped up to match and that was when David pulled up on his steering wheel, pointing the car's nose to the sky. He then grabbed at the split lever in the middle and squeezed as he pulled back. Caleb heard a screeching noise and the car halted in midair.

The fighter passed below and the car flipped around, putting it directly behind. David squeezed a button on the steering wheel and a volley of lasers shot out. The lances of light struck the engines of the fighter and shredded through them. The fuel inside ignited and the fighter burst into a ball of fire, which the car promptly flew through.

"Forget walking away," Caleb burst. "Cool guys fly through explosions!"

The rest of the Flying Hogs had done the same maneuver, each getting the drop on their enemy. Explosions rocked the car's chassis as each fighter died. "Cooked and eaten for supper!" David said. "Alright, my friends there's still one more group of wolves!"

The flying cars all converged towards the bombers, who were retreating. The Hogs accelerated and matched up with the retreating enemy. A few more shots and the bombers fell, painting the landscape with their scrap.

"And that takes care of that," David said.

"Oh man, that was awesome. I've never been in a dogfight before." Caleb said.

"Well, my friend you are welcome to join us whenever danger calls," David answered.

"Once we get back you guys are all going to get drinks on me. I know the best place."

The Hogs circled around and collected any of their companions who were forced to land. Caleb wondered what would happen to the cars.

"We have plenty of spare parts back at our place. We'll camouflage the cars and come back for them with the tools need to fix them." One of the pilots said. Caleb noticed it was the one that always corrected David.

"Ace pilots and skilled woodsmen, and woodswomen" Caleb said.

"Heh, you're a quick study. I still haven't gotten that tub of lard to say both." The pilot named Krista said.

" I have a sister," Caleb said. As if that was all the explanation needed.

Elsewhere, Hailey sneezed.

"Anyways, I heard you're buying all the drinks when we get back to town," Krista said.

"I'd be a terrible host of the city if I didn't," Caleb answered.

"Sure enough. I've been in the mood for a good ale." Krista said.

The two helped David and the others cover the last car with a mix of leaves and dirt. By the end, Caleb couldn't tell that a car was sitting in front of them. With that done, the group all made their way back to Three Cities.