Hey so i'm really trying to include and incorporate the advice i've been given in this chapter. Let me know how I do.
For example.
Editing
Story flow and and POV
Ill try a letting the readers know if there is going to be a POV shift\
EX
Tenelux POV
Hevash POV
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Chapter 4
“Hunters?” I asked
“What are hunters?”
Tenelux gives looks at me and responds.
“Can you guess”
I sigh
“Well i'm guessing you don't mean you hunt animals” I say sarcastically.
The twins laugh at me saying that. I guess i'm right.
“You would be correct in saying that, Tell me are you familiar with the two church factions” Tenelux asks
“No, what factions, The only church that I know of is the church of the holy tree” I say
It's the only one I know because that's where we were heading.
“Then I will guess that was where you were heading with your parents?”
I nod, of course.
One the twins whispers to him, I can't make out what he says. He says something back. Something about me not being a follower. The twin accepts whatever he said.
He questions me again
“Were your parents taking you to the church for your essence” Tenelux asked
I squint my eyes, not sure why this is important. I still nod, I knew we were moving to a new home because the church wanted my essence, that's all my parents told me.
So I nodded yet again, Im curious to see where this is heading.
“Since you don't know I will educate you on the current status of our world's powers”
He launched into a long winded explanation. It seemed he had a personal standpoint on the matter that he would get to. The general synopsis of of it was:
There are two large factions that hold the most power in this world at the current moment.
The first faction were the various churches of light and holiness. They were zealots for all things pure and good, he spoke this line with a hint of sarcasm. They accepted all neutrally aligned elemental and light aligned elemental talents.
The second faction is that of the dark churches that worship chaos and destruction, yet still gain fervent followers. The are the polar opposite of the churches of light and only accept the neutral and darkness aligned elemental talents.
As for the gods they worship, they are without a doubt real. Granting divine miracles, items with immense power and sending divine quests for their followers to accomplish.
I nodded, everyone knew of the gods.
He then asked me
“Boy do you know the one thing these two factions share” Asked Tenelux
“No “ I responded, although in a tone that suggested that I wished to know more.
“They both hide their cruel fanatic secrets” he says in a tone that hides many feelings and secrets in itself.
“Whether it is the blinding light of purity or the unseeable void of darkness they both bury these acts of cruel zealotry deep”
I'm unclear what cruel zealotry.
So I ask.
“Most likely the same cruelty you were to be shown” He says
“They most likely would've taken you in, and wiped your mind clean to make you a drone to carry out their missions”
“Or they would sacrifice you to the gods in hope of a boon granted to them, Often times more painfully than they might need because of their sadistic tendencies” He says
This revelation pours on my mind like a bucket of ice cold water. I feel numb.
“And my family?” I ask
“Pardon” He seems confused by the question.
“If they were making me into a mindless drone or a sacrifice, what would've happened to my parents” I ask
“Ah, well they would either be imprisoned or killed” he responds, honestly not holding anything back.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
“Why do you ask” He inquires.
“Simply curiosity” I say back to him
I pause and then continue.
“It's strange, before my awakening as you called it I would get emotional at this new, but now I feel as if it is simply the way the world works,” I say.
I laugh and say.
“It all seems logical”
He looks slightly perturbed by this, looks to the twins as if he was asking for their thoughts, they merely shrugged. He comes up and tells me that some unique elemental properties can sometimes influence the person, this only inspires me further to find out my essences shape and properties. So I can know more about myself and what I can do.
Tenelux POV
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This has bugged me for a while now, the kid showed no real response to his parents dying. I could chalk that up to post traumatic stress for the little guy, but now he comes out and says ‘it's simply the way the world works’ and ‘It all seems logical’. Im curious and a little afraid of this kid, I can tell the twins feel the same.
Azron POV
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We finished eating and tenelux told me to get back to the room and rest up, we would see my essence later he said. Im impatient.
I make my way back to the room. Thinking back to what I said about seeing my parents death ‘the way the world works’ it was just logical reasoning yet why do I feel so strange about it. Anyway I arrive back at the room and realize something, Tenelux never said who he and the ‘hunters’ were. I decide to question him when he gets back from whatever's he is doing with the silver twins. Speaking of the twins I wonder what they really are, definitely not human not with their hair and eyes. Sighing I feel tired, so I climb into the bed and sleep.
Hours later I woke up. I got up and looked around, I made a brief foray down the the lobby of the inn to check if Tenelux was back yet. He wasn't, I made my way back to the room. Thinking to myself of what to do.
After arriving I decide to explore the energy I felt when I killed the beast. I still felt it, however unlike before when it was a like a dam bursting it was now a tranquil sea of energy. This feeling was located in my mind, thinking of Tenelux explanation i guessed that this was my soul and I was seeing into it. Tenelux’s explanation also said that to be able to use magic the body would need to be strong. I was in a rush to use magic, it felt like a primal desire. However i'm not sure if my body can take it. Tenelux mentioned little details throughout his explanation about magic, mentioning most beginner would need to strengthen their bodies for an extended amount of time before using magic.
I wondered, if i began strengthening my body now i'll be able to practice magic sooner. I wasn't dumb enough to think that push ups and other physical exercises would be of use in this aspect. I knew it had to be something in relation to the sea of energy in his soul.
So I lay down, closed my eyes and delved into the sea of energy. For a time I merely observed it. Over the course of time I derived that the sea was growing larger, seemingly being feed from an outside source. I plan to ask Tenelux later about this.
After watching for a while I began to try to manipulate the sea of energy, I find that it moves to my will. I began to siphon the energy towards my physical body, of which was an apparition above the sea. As it came into contact with my body's skins I could feel the energy dispersing into my muscles, it was like a warm fluid running through my body. I continued this for a time before I began to think about this process. Can I only do this to my muscles?
Upon thinking this he took control of the energy in his body and directed it towards his bones. They also began to strengthen from what I can tell. Seeing success from this I took the energy and separated it into different streams. I directed them to my muscles, bones, skin and organs.
It was a new feeling, one I could get used to. It was a feeling of strength and that I enjoyed.
Hours passed as I lay there, in this time Tenelux returned.
Tenelux POV
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As I returned from scouting and finding information about the church here I headed directly to my room. I had suspected the boy to perhaps be snooping around, after all I had been gone for hours leaving him nothing to do. However what I found was much more shocking.
He was lying down on the bed, if one did not practice magic they would assume him sleeping. However I could tell that he was enhancing his body with his soul energy, an act which takes much skill. The average newly awakened person would usually have to practice controlling the rampant energy for months before beginning the first stage of body refinement. However the boy seems to already be in the second stage, Not only strengthening his muscle groups but also his skin, bones and organs. It was simply astonishing.
I chuckle, it seems he figured out that to practice magic one must have a strong body. He must have deduced this from my earlier explanation. Grimacing now I think that we must definitely take him with us and train him, as he could turn out to be the strongest of allies or our reckoning.
Thinking all this I go and wake the boy up, There was a conversation to be had.
End of chapter 4
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