I was ecstatic, things were finally starting to happen, finally, after all the time sulking on bed and hating everything around me, things were finally starting to happen, we were finally, finally after so long, getting some shit done. We were going to meet Valentin.

Now, Valentin wasn’t really “a lawyer” or a “political advisor” that had been Sebastian being stupid while skimming through the report he got me made back then, Valentin actually was a member of the parliament, he did work as a political advisor, but he surely was no lawyer or ever worked as one. In any case, we were going to present ourselves and just say if we could get him on our side, somehow.

We went to his place, it was in a narrow, crooked street, flanked by dilapidated buildings. The stucco walls were gray. The windows were half-shattered and covered with rusting iron bars. The cobblestones beneath were uneven and cracked. The dark brick exterior of the building was smeared with soot and grime.

I asked myself what fucks did I even give about Caruncle’s family yet again before entering.

The private salon was a jewel of elegance tucked away from the bustling streets of the smelly city. That night, a soft amber light bathed the room, it was annoyingly pale but at least it was brighter than the lights you would see at Sebastians home. The light was cast by low-hanging chandeliers with flickering candles. The flickering annoyed me, but the chandeliers were pretty. The air carried the faint scent of lavender, but mingled with the disgusting smoke of cigars.

Elena was wearing a fitted frock coat in deep purple velvet, cinched tightly at the waist with a corset underneath. It was a bit of a design the maids and myself came out with, they wanted something that emphasized her curves because they liked to see Caruncle's reactions. I wanted something that gave at least a slight air of authority, somehow, I wanted something that said I meant business. It was actually a pain to create because the maids just thought I was crazy, but the result ended up being quite okay. The ensemble had flowing trousers that almost resembled a skirt. There was a high-collared white shirt peeking out from under the coat, with lace adorning the cuffs. The maids also added some silver buttons that glimmered along the front of the coat, “each one intricately engraved”, they said, and there was also a black ribbon tied at the neck.

I made damn sure to follow the handful of etiquette lessons I got, making sure every step I made was calculated, graceful, pretty a bit. It was exhilarating to remember I was actually alive, and I wanted everyone’s eyes on me, I wanted to make myself seen. I saw Valentin. He stood up, I saw his eyes widening.

“He looks even uglier than I remember.” I thought. Caruncle shrieked, he saw himself in his brother, he remembered the corpse he saw at his funeral. I had to make an effort to keep myself still.

He reached for Elena’s hand and pressed a kiss on its back. The warmth of his breath lingered a moment too long. I kept my expression still and let my hand fall casually once he released it.

"I believe we haven’t had the opportunity to meet," he muttered.

I nodded and tilted my head ever so slightly, letting my gaze sweep over him. Sebastian sat looking at the south while I sat looking west and Valentin sat looking east, he would be facing me, and Sebastian would have me in his field of view if I wanted to speak to him.

“You haven’t met us, but we have heard of you quite a lot,” Sebastian started. He was dressed with black loafers, a green, dim suit, as well as an old dark tie. I had dressed him like Caruncle used to dress when he was alive, chauffeur style. I asked the maids to give him clothes that were one size too big for him to add to the effect of his awkwardness, I thought it was funny.

“And you might be?”

“Miss Elena is Custodio Esparza’s daughter, I don’t know if you have heard about him before?”

“Hmm, I think I have heard the name before, but…”

“Custodio Esparza is part of the The Supernal Circle of Mountain Mystics. My name is Sebastian Lysias, I’m part of the Circle as well.”

“The Circle of Mystics?” Valentin gave us a look of disgust as long as he heard the name, not that I could blame him.

“Yes, we are an organization that focuses on doing charitable works and looks into the personal enlightenment of its members.”

“Right.”

“In any case, I am here to lend my services to Miss Elena, I am her spokesperson.”

“Her spokesperson?”

“Yes, Miss Elena here, if you haven’t noticed, is mute. She cannot speak, but she wanted to talk to you, and that is why I am here.”

Valentin stared back at me, detailing me as much as he could. I kept a slight smile still as he looked, but I wasn’t sure what my eyes were telling him.

“That’s why she didn’t answer my greeting, I suppose.”

“Yes, that would be correct.”

“Oh, I apologize, I assumed beforehand you were in a bad mood.”

I waved Elena’s hand dismissively while keeping my smile, he nodded and looked back at Sebastian.

“And might I know why the lady wanted to meet me?”

“Well, I hope this isn’t too upsetting, but we heard of you when one of your employees came looking for your brother at her home.”

He averted his gaze, but I watched him closely. His legs were crossed, the sole of one foot still touching the floor. His hand, which had been resting on his right leg, suddenly tightened, gripping his knee with force.

“Right.” He paused for a moment and looked at the both of us. “The matter of my brother was a bit of a tragedy, he ran away 10 years ago, but we couldn’t find him. If we knew he had been that close to us this whole time maybe things would have turned out differently.” I clenched my teeth.

“Miss Elena here also wanted to offer to move his body in case you wanted to bury him somewhere else closer to you, so you could all see him.”

Valentin looked at me back, I opened Elena’s eyes more trying to appear compassionate, but I could feel tears at the back of my mind caused by the distasteful nature of the situation. I obviously didn’t want to give him back Caruncle’s body, it was absurd, but it was necessary to make the offer.

“Right, I have to think about that too. As you might guess, it’s a bit of a difficult topic for the family.”

“Of course,” Sebastian continued. “But in any case, when we heard about you we couldn’t help but get curious, Miss Elena has been looking for people she can meet that can introduce her and show her the capital city.”

“The Circle of Mystics doesn’t provide that kind of service?”

“Not really, no, we like to keep ourselves outside.”

“How so?”

“Well, most of us prefer the countryside, that’s all there is to it.”

“Right.”

I signaled to Sebastian, telling him to talk about what I knew of Valentin. It was the first time I had even made some sort of interaction in the conversation which made me sad.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

“Miss Elena has heard of your work in the parliament and she finds your alignment with the liberal party to be quite valuable as well.”

“Okay, although if she has heard about me here, I would also guess she knows that as a member of the parliament I am quite a busy individual, with all due respect.”

“Of course, Miss Elena says she could also be a valuable asset if things align so, she could provide the budget for whatever you require.”

“Is that so?” He frowned at Sebastian, but looking back at me, his looks was a puzzled one, rather than a judging one.

“Yes.”

“And she’s disposed to provide me with a budget… for what reason?”

“For the dream of a more independent Luciana.” He smiled, I smiled back too, but I was just embarrassed.

“Ha, right.” Valentin chuckled. “I used to have that kind of dream too, back then.”

“Isn’t that what we should all strive for?”

“Listen, I think I appreciate the sentiment, you both. I really do.” Valentin looked at me, then at Sebastian. “But I have learned that things are rarely so simple, and managing a country on our own terms is not an easy task either.”

I hesitated, my hands feeling clumsy as I tried to sign to Sebastian. Independence? I pointed at Valentin, then tapped my fist over my heart—give up? It wasn’t elegant, and I could feel the stiffness in my movements, but I had prepared the question for the conversation, and Sebastian glanced at me.

“Miss Elena asks if you still see Luciana becoming independent in the future.” That is something I wanted to know, I wanted to know what the hell had happened and why nobody followed through with the fight to push the Empire away, the original Caruncle couldn’t be the only one with the balls to go with the plan.

“Oh, well, it’s not that I don’t see her becoming independent, but I think that the way we can take other options to handle the state affairs and… well, make the country a more proper place for Basilian and Lucianan people alike.”

“Right… what paths?” I hesitated, then gave a slight nod, followed by the sign for what—both hands raised, palms up—and then moved my hands forward, mimicking a path.

“I believe that a federal state can provide the tools for each city and place to create the proper tools for their citizens.”

I tapped my temple and then pointed to Valentin—What did he mean? I knew what a federal state was, but I wanted to keep him talking, I needed some time to think.

Valentin leaned back in his chair. "You see," he began, "the idea of a federal state is to allow each city, each region, to govern itself, providing them with the tools to cater to their own unique needs. It grants a certain autonomy without the chaos of full secession. The citizens are empowered, but there remains a structure—a safety net, if you will, to prevent disorder. It’s a more measured, reasonable approach."

He paused, casting a glance my way. “Centralism, on the other hand, places all the power in one capital, in the hands of a few men—disconnected from the regions they control. It stifles growth, yes, but throws it off entirely through independence... Well, that’s a much heavier burden than most realize. Federalism offers the chance for freedom in moderation, a compromise that maintains some order.”

Valentin’s tone softened then, and he turned to me, his eyes lingering for just a moment longer than usual. "Forgive me," he said with a small smile, "the pretty lady here probably finds this a bit tiresome." I averted my gaze, something happened that I didn’t quite get,I could feel Caruncle react, I hoped they wouldn’t notice the sudden rush of emotion that was welling up.

Sebastian, sensing my shift, continued the conversation. “Do you still see Luciana becoming independent in the future?”

Valentin glanced between us, the smile fading slightly. "Well… it’s not that I don’t see independence as a possibility," he replied slowly. "But I’ve come to believe there are other paths to improve life here, without risking everything on the gamble of total autonomy. A federal system would allow us to keep the empire’s resources and structure, while still gaining self-governance. It’s a compromise—one that, for now, seems more realistic."

They kept talking and I lost the thread of the conversation. I realized… tears were coming out of Elena’s eyes, they were Caruncle’s tears. He was so incredibly sad, but he felt a soothing, relaxing feeling covering him whole. Do you want to know why? We both know why, it’s pretty redundant to mention it. He was crying because he realized his brother was finally seeing him for who he was, fine, for who she was. Valentin actually thought he was a woman! He saw Elena and took her appearance for granted! Now, Caruncle was nothing more than a pervert to me, a guy sick on the head with a loose screw, but that perception she had for herself, sometimes, it was so intense, so incredibly blinding that I just… couldn’t… help… but… give in to her whims. That is why I have to write what he thinks most of the time, it is some sort of exorcism for me. But whatever, like anybody gives a fuck.

“Miss Elena? Miss Elena? Are you alright?” I came back to earth, I saw Sebastian had stood up and touched Elena in her shoulders, shoulders I could also feel. I had covered her face with her hands, ashamed of breaking down in front of Valentin.

“My apologies, was there something I said that upset you, ma’am?”

I looked upwards for an instant and I saw Sebastian was panicking, I signed to him the word headache and covered Elena’s face again.

“No! Sir, actually, we must apologize. Miss Elena has been dealing with a lot of headaches lately and with the trip here to Vadorreal things got worse.”

“I see… Please, let me ask the clerk to bring her a glass of water.”

“We would be thankful if you do.” Sebastian said, he got out his handkerchief and gave it to me to clean myself, it was embarrassing.

Valentin stood up and left the salon, we heard him yelling a name a couple of times.

“Eulalia? Eulalia! For heaven’s sake! I have been calling you for quite a while now!”

We couldn’t hear the clerk, only Valentin’s voice was loud enough.

“Did you really? I need you here, I’m in a meeting.”

Silence.

“Nevermind all that, you can go after the meeting is over, now please bring me a glass of water.”

He came back and sat back down on his seat. “My apologies, some clerks aren’t really reliable, but I asked to bring a glass of water for Miss Esparza right here, it should take only a while.”

A few minutes afterwards the glass of water came but I couldn’t see how really brought it because I was still looking down still trying to do damage control to what Caruncle had done, the issue of getting inside a body is that when you are in its control, every single sensation that is emanating from it controls you, the difficult breathing, the tears and the pain in your eyes, the dizziness in your head, being alive was actually very overwhelming at times.

“Thank you.” I said with my signs, I think I had messed up that one, but Sebastian nodded. “Miss Elena says thank you.” He looked back at Valentin, who was now deep in thought, smoking a cigar.

“Nevermind all that, would you prefer if we continue this conversation another time?”

“No…”

I nodded to him.

“Well yes, that’s alright, would it be okay to you if Miss Elena writes to you in the following days, I know she wants to talk to you in her own words, once she has calmed down.”

“Hmm, that would be fine.” He stood up and reached into his inner coat pocket, retrieving a small, finely embossed card. With a subtle nod, he handed it to me. “Here, Miss Esparza, should you wish to send a word—my address. I would be most eager to hear from you.”

The card was a disgustingly delicate thing, cream-colored with his name and office address inscribed in needlessly elegant script.

I stood up and nodded again, that’s all I could do, nod. I did a slight bow, now more calmed down, and smiled at him.

“If you also are in need of a physician, you can let me know, I wouldn’t like to see such a beautiful sight like you to look in such pain the next time we meet.”

I nodded yet again, and we left, Sebastian holding me as I walked. When we got outside, it was raining, but the carriage was waiting for us so we got inside right away. We left toward our house in the city in silence.

I brought my hand to my chest, forming it into a loose fist. With a gentle, circular motion over my heart, I signed "sorry."

“Oh, don’t be, Miss! I mean, I know this is really important to you for a reason, we might have cut the conversation short but I think we actually made some good progress!”

I sighed, nodding slowly.

“Now, I know that you don’t like to talk about this kind of things, but if you want to talk about why you broke down there, maybe I can help, or maybe I can’t help but at least I can hear you out, somehow, it also pains me so to see you like that and I feel so helpless when I don’t know what to do. Was it really a headache?”

I shook my head.

“Oh, well. I see…”

I raised my hand, pointing backward with my thumb “later,” then brought my hand to my chin and moved it outward “talk”.

“We will talk about it later, okay, then.”

I looked outside through the window, now letting go that things had been taken care of. I heard Caruncle think, he was shaken and still hadn’t recovered, but at least he had stopped crying. He remembered one night back when he was 14, Valentin was playing around and he had wrapped Caruncle in one of their mother’s old gowns. A frilly, pale pink thing with puffed sleeves so large they nearly swallowed his arms. The dress hung awkwardly, far too big, with layers of lace that dragged behind him like a train fit for royalty—if only royalty looked this ridiculous. Valentin had even crowned the look with a floppy, oversized bonnet, complete with a cluster of drooping silk flowers.

“This is hilarious!” Valentin cackled, barely able to catch his breath. “You really do look like a girl!”

Caruncle didn’t have the chance to look at himself in the mirror, but those words had made him incredibly happy that night, so happy that he couldn’t contain himself. He thought that now his brother was now seeing him as a proper woman, a girl, a lady, it was as if he had abandoned reality and was now in a dream, just like that one night, that moment so many years ago. The difference was that, now, the dream was permanent. He had presented himself as a stranger, a woman, and there was no going back.

He thought he didn’t have the strength to see him ever again in his life, all this, my plan, the appearance he had to deceive his brother, it was wrong, it was all wrong. The only thing he ever wanted was to be seen as a woman by him, and that had already become true, was anything else really necessary? He was now ready to die happy, forever, and for all eternity.

I thought, as always, that he was just a fool.