My name is Ellen, when I made a prank to my love in the sky, she punished me to an existence on earth as a ghost until the sun on the Milky Way finally burns out. Ever since, I have been wandering the streets of earth looking at people, watching them grow, watching them die. I have seen places I dearly loved and people I had really admired, but I couldn’t talk with any of them, and when they died, I would never see them again. Wherever the plane of space or time you are right now, I can say with certainty that we will never ever meet. But indeed, this story isn’t about me, but about one of those people I ended up following, this is the story of Caruncle Periwinkle.
I’m not sure exactly where I should really start, Caruncle’s life was… well, I don’t know, I don’t really care about his previous life, he wasn’t anyone more or less prone to end up in this position. In any case, it might be suitable that I start right now.
That day the air was weird, it felt weird to him, it was this dense, thick layer that felt heavier on his lungs, he looked around, the walls looked dirty, the floor looked dirty, everything looked somewhat dirty, the buildings in the outside the window looked worn out, and the sky had a gray hue to it that Caruncle still wasn’t able to grasp even then. Around noon and after lunch, Caruncle would usually reunite not just with Evelyn but also Valentin, Felicity and Percival. Percival was a man that had been a friend of his family since some long ago, he had been the person to help him out when he fell into a well as a kid, Felicity was one of the acquaintances Evelyn trusted the most. Since none of them had classes around that hour, they would join together to talk with each other in the dining hall. I would sit at the top of the table to see them eat and then chit chat about whatever it came to their mind, they didn’t seem to mind my presence after all.
“You know, I have been reading Maxwell McAbe as of lately,” I heard Percival speak. I had joined them in the middle of a conversation but I didn’t really care enough to hear what had been the context.
“Oh really? I heard about him? How is it?”
“Well, I’m still waiting for him to convince me of his style, really. People usually say he’s very one note but when his books fall into place, they can be quite alluring to read. I personally haven't experienced it yet.”
“I would agree to what you were told,” Valentin joined the conversation. “An acquaintance of mine recommended me to listen to Brid Jewele while I read him, the result is… interesting, so to say.”
“Oh, do you have one of those phonographs?” Evelyn asked Valentin.
“Indeed I do, they are quite the interesting machines to say the least.”
“I just can’t grab my head around the thing either,” added Percival, “I have been studying how the whole thing actually works, but still, I have no idea how such a thing exists, to me, it’s almost just like magic.”
“Where does the music come from?” Felicity asked Percival, I didn’t like her expression most of the time.
“I think it was… how was it? They take the sound in this thing and that’s what the phonograph plays. If you put the music in there, in one of those things, you can play it in any phonograph, but the word escapes me right now.”
“I see, but what I meant was, how does the phonograph itself manage to move on its own?”
“Oh that's like some sort of spring engine, or something using a spring, it was also really fascinating.”
“An engine?”
“Yes.”
“But wait,” Evelyn chimed back into the conversation between Felicity and Percival “you said you can store the music in something? You don’t remember what it's called?
“Not really, I forgot that as well..”
“I saw one of them the other day,” Percival added. “They are some sort of black plates where a needle is put on and that’s how it sees the music.”
“And you don’t remember the name?” Felicity asked.
“Not really, no.”
“What about you, Caruncle? Have you seen these things before?” Evelyn turned to ask him, the rest of the table turned to look at him too.
“A phonograph…” Caruncle said quietly with empty eyes looking at the wall.
“What did you say?”
“It’s the same thing, it’s the same thing…”
“What are you talking about? Speak up.” Valentin frowned at him.
“I don’t know, I don’t know,” he scratched his head while looking down at the table, “I apologize, I just… the phonograph, it reminded me of something, I feel uneasy with that kind of… coincidences… piling up.” He gestured as if cleaning sweat from his forehead.
“And we feel unease with your babble,” Valentin raised his voice, the moments that his eyes crossed with the place I was standing in I could feel a bit of a cold down my back. “If you are going to bring something up, say what you are talking about or don’t say anything at all.”
“Please, we don’t need another discussion right now,” Evelyn intervened looking back at him.
“Let him speak, I want to know what he has to say.”
“As annoying as Caruncle’s rambles might be, your winning gets a lot more exhausting, stop.”
Felicity and Percival looked back at each other as they saw the others argue, then Felicity stepped in.
“You know, Caruncle, Valentin has a point there, wouldn’t you think? If there is something that keeps bothering you then maybe it would be better for you to speak up? You keep things bottled up inside and it clearly hasn’t done you any good.”
Evelyn didn’t speak, she looked back at Caruncle, who was still looking downwards, and then she looked back at the others, Percival spoke up.
“I would agree as well, I know you don’t want to hear this from me again, but I want to remind you that I would appreciate it if you decided to accept my help.”
Caruncle looked back up at them, Valentin had his arms crossed, Felicity’s eyes were looking at him with a sense of pity but also annoyance. Percival and Evelyn looked genuinely concerned.
“Well, I have been thinking about how to say this since some time already.” He looked back at the floor, but continued speaking. “I… I’m not sure how to explain it.”
“Please, get to the point.”
“Valentin,” Evelyn looked back at him with a scowl.
“I just need him to get to the point, I don’t have all the time in the world.”
“Please, quiet…”
“I don’t even know how I could even explain the thing at all.”
“Why? What is so difficult to say?” Felicity asked, starting to get a bit tired of the situation.
“It’s just that what happened to me hasn’t happened to anyone else, there is no point of comparison, nothing I could relate it to.”
“Why are you going in circles? Say what happened! If something happened, say it, for fuck’s sake.” Valentin was already rubbing his temples.
“Ha, for fuck’s sake…” Caruncle gave a momentary smirk while rolling his eyes.
“What?”
“Caruncle if you aren’t going to say anything then we would rather move up, but I still rather not hear you say that we didn’t give you the chance to speak later.” Felicity raised her hand.
“Okay, okay, I’ll talk,” I got close to him because I noticed he was shaking his leg. When I approached him, I could feel his heart starting to beat at a faster and faster speed. “You see, there is a memory… I don’t know, it was like a dream.” The smirk on his face was gone. Caruncle looked back at them, everyone was staring at him, so he looked back down and continued.
“A dream?” Felicity raised her eyebrows incredulously.
“I’m not sure if it was a dream, but when I was a little kid, I saw this mirror.”
“Where?” Felicity asked.
“Look, I don’t remember where I was, really, don’t ask me, but I remember that the mirror appeared as if it had this sort of… liquid coating over it… if you made a loud sound facing it, you would see ripples on its surface.”
“I’m not in the mood for this,” Valentin whispered to Percival, Caruncle continued.
“I got curious and I tried to reach it, like… I… I extended my hand, and I felt kinda like a really cold sensation, the surface of the mirror was thick, thick and cold.”
He stopped and looked back at them.
“Go on,” Evelyn said while holding his hand, her expression looked more concerned rather than exasperated, Caruncle lowered his head back again.
“I got scared for a moment, so I tried to pull my hand out, but I… I realized I couldn’t. I couldn’t get it out.” He inhaled slowly and kept looking at his hands and his legs. He was looking for something while he tried to come up with the images on his head.
“You couldn’t get it out? As in? Was the mirror hollow? Did it have something inside?” Felicity asked.
“Yes, like a first aid kit?” Percival added in.
“No, not at all.” He bit his lip and seconds later continued. “I said it had a liquid coating over it, and when I first entered my hand, it was like putting your hand inside molasses.”
“Why would you put your hand inside molasses trapped in a mirror?” Felicity asked again.
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“I was just– Listen, I don’t remember why I–”
“You're scared to even go outside, and you say that you put your hand in some sort of apparition inside a mirror of all things?” Valentin was still the most annoyed of the group, but at that moment he just sounded confused and tired.
“Please, just let me finish.” He scratched his head and gestured as if cleaning sweat off his face. He didn’t have any, but he was starting to feel hot. “When I first entered my hand, I got scare– I panicked, I panicked. I don’t know, really I, I mean, it was weird, it was really weird, but I remember that I tried to use my hand, my other hand, and I… Well, I tried to grab my wrist, the one of the hand that was already sinking in, I wanted to use my hand to pull harder, but it didn’t work.”
“It didn’t work?” Felicity asked one more time.
“No, it didn’t work.”
“Right.”
“What was worse, though, I mean, I was already super scared, but what happened next was that the mirror started to pull me even further inside.”
“What?”
“The mirror was pulling me further inside.” Caruncle was getting a bit exasperated with Felicity’s interruptions, he looked at her with a scowl and looked back down. “And after that… after that… When I was pushed inside all the way into the mirror, I ended up coming out from the other side?”
“Yes?”
“You don’t sound so sure.” Percival scratched his head, he also started to get a bit tired and was rolling his eyes.
“I came out to the other side, and well, I came out to a place the same way as I was before, it was some sort of bathroom in a worn out house.”
“You said you didn’t know where you were.” Felicity added again.
“Yes, I don’t know where that place was, I only remember it was some weird bathroom.”
“How did the walls look? Any windows? What material they had?”
“Uh… they were green.”
“Green?”
“Yes, but that wasn’t what was scariest about it.”
“I mean I don’t think you should be scared by green bathroom walls.” Felicity cackled and the others followed. Caruncle just scowled at Felicity before looking away in another direction away from the table.
“Alright, what was scarier than those spooky bathroom walls?
“Well, it was that– that…”
“That…?”
“That everything was… I don’t know, it was mirrored.”
“What?”
“Like… it was all mirrored, the door that was at my left was now at my right, the tarnished windows, they were all in the opposite place where they were. The bathtub, everything.” Finally, he turned his head back at them with a concerned expression.
“And then, what happened next?” Percival asked.
“Yes, did you wake up?” Valentin added with a bitter smile.
“I don’t think I did, because ever since… ever since… everything looks like it has been mirrored for me.”
“Sounds like it must have been hard for you to read.” Valentin said and then he and the rest of the table laughed along, Caruncle looked at them with an empty expression on his face.
“Well, that’s what happened, I don’t know if it was a dream or not.” He looked to his left away from them when he said it, but then looked back at Evelyn and then the rest of the table.”Everything looks weird to me, it’s all different, but at the same time, it’s so similar, it is so uncanny, and I hate it, it has been years ever since I remember that thing, and it’s still weird, I hate it, and I can’t leave, I can’t… leave this place.” He lowered his head one more time and clenched his fist, while nobody else could see it. I was able to notice he was trying to hold back his tears.
“Years? How many years?” Valentin tilted his head and narrowed his eyes.
“Perhaps he means… 8 years?” Percival added.
“Why? What happened 8 years ago?” Felicity buttered in.
“That’s when Caruncle fell into an old well while we were running through the forest.”
“What? Pft, ha ha ha!” Felicity started to cackle loudly. “How do you even fall into a well? That’s absurd!”
“He got a really bad fever and had to stay in bed since he broke his left arm,” Valentin smirked towards Felicity. “Ever since then he has always been acting like a lunatic, perhaps he broke his brain too.”
Felicity kept laughing while Evelyn tried to hold her laughter. Caruncle was silently scowling back at them. If I peeked into his head, I could see the event replayed over and over in his mind.
“No… no… no, please, no…”
When I found him he was crying at the bottom of a well. I was wandering around town looking for someone to observe, when I heard him crying from afar. I looked at the well and I saw him trying to punch at the walls. Caruncle was only 14, since he had a short height, he was covered up to his chest of all the dirty water from the well, he was bleeding out.
“Uh, you will have to wait for a bit, it’s going to take a while we take you out.” Percival said to him from above and left looking for some rope and someone to help. I went to the bottom of the well and looked at him more detailedly. The guy looked hysterical, he could barely breathe and he was about to hyperventilate, if he let himself go, he would probably drown. This was weird for me, though, I had seen him fall into that same well at that same time before, but the previous time, he hadn’t really started to cry. I looked into his thoughts and what I saw actually surprised me, so even without any possible incentive from me, I decided to follow him, just because I was bored out of my mind.
While anything I wrote wouldn’t ever be read by anyone ever again and my only job had been taken away from me, looking at the poor man’s thoughts gave me some sort of past time, if Jazmin had left that poor man to his own luck, at least I could watch over him and give me some company.
“Caruncle, have you seriously not considered that perhaps you just dreamt it? You spent several days murmuring, you looked like you really had bad sleep.”
“He has really left that dream affecting his head,” Valentin snickered while looking towards Percival and Felicity. He saw Evelyn scowl at his remark, but he looked away.
“No, you know what has really affected me recently?” Caruncle let a small grin show on his face.
“What is it?”
“Oh you know, just a couple of books I have been reading.”
“Yes? Like what?
“The Randolph Suchet chronicles,” Caruncle said while looking directly at his eyes, Valentin on the other hand had his smirk completely erased from his face, he was now scowling back at him. “What do you think, Valentin? They are such interesting books, and there is something really… interesting… about them, have you ever heard about them before?”
“What are the Randophl Suchet chronicles?” Felicity asked.
“Those are the satire novels that have been circling around Lucinians,” Evelyn answered her, “they have been outlawed since they talk badly of Basilians. Their publication has gotten a bit troublesome to handle, or so they say, there are less and less people in disposition to sell them, they have been harder to get because of the current investigation against the writers of these books.”
“Right, and why are you reading such a thing if I may ask?” Felicity turned towards Caruncle.
“Oh, I haven’t read them so much really, but I have heard about them, and they are just interesting to think about. It is said the empire ordered the execution of the writer, and a rebellion might explode any time soon. What do you think, Valentin?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say about those books, I personally haven’t seen them, but if you are saying you are starting to get infatuated with them, I'd rather tell our father.”
“Really? So–”
“And I think you are messed up in the head,” He finally stood up and left the table they were all speaking together. “I’m leaving.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” I saw a little tick in Caruncle’s right eye, he scratched his cheek and smiled at his brother.
“Valentin, please, wait,” Percival took him by the arm and brought him back to his seat. “Let’s just take our time, little by little, okay?”
“I'd rather be careful around that guy, Evelyn, you don’t know what he might come up with.”
“What? What did he say?” Evelyn asked Valentin
“Nothing, he’s just an idiot,” Caruncle answered. Instead, he started to eat his nails but Evelyn took his hand to stop him.
“Is there something about Valentin we don’t know about?” Felicity added, Valentin crossed his arms and growled.
“I just wanted to scare him, I know he has never liked those kinds of books.”
“Do you expect to achieve anything telling him you were reading books about rebellion?” Percival looked directly at him.
“Yes, because I know what he is afraid of.”
“Alright, and what would that be?”
“As I said, I feel there might be a rebellion coming up soon, and I know he is afraid that it might actually happen.”
“You ‘feel’ that there is a rebellion coming? What exactly has made you think of that?” Felicity buttered in again.
“I just felt it.”
“You felt it.”
“Yes, I don’t know if you have seen the air around the town has felt somewhat weird.”
“I feel there is something else you aren’t telling us, Caruncle,” Percival added.
“I… I well… I can’t tell you right now.” He looked at his brother back again but this time with a frown rather than a smile, Valentin was still frozen on his seat.
“How so?”
“I mean, I could always tell you… but…” I was looking into his thoughts, I knew what he was thinking, he wanted to see what would happen if he said the truth, he wanted to tell someone that was close to him, anyone, but there was something in the back of his mind that was telling him not to do it, he wanted to feel safe… ”Well, I’m not sure, it was probably just a dream, as all of you already said.”
“What was it?”
“My memory of the mirror.”
“Did you see something across the mirror?" Is that how you ‘know’ that he would react that way?”
“Yes…” He looked around the table to see the faces of the others, everyone was now looking more seriously at him. “On the other side of the mirror you end up learning a lot of things.”
“No, but wait, I wanted to know the actual reason, seriously.”
“I’m serious.”
For a moment Percival didn’t answer back, he scratched his head and looked at Evelyn and then back at him.
“If I’m honest with you, I’m not sure what you are trying to achieve with this.”
“I remember a man called Logan in the hallway past the mirror,” Caruncle stared at him for a long while, Percival didn’t answer back but held his stare towards him in the same direction.
“Caruncle?” Evelyn shaked his arm to grab his attention.
“What is it?”
“If there is something that you know, right now, you should tell us about it.”
Caruncle was scowling while looking down at the table. Noticing nobody had continued the conversation after he remained silent, he decided to finally speak.
“First, I feel we should move to Leyva, Salento, or any other country close here before we can.”
“For what purpose? Leyva is also occupied by the Dominion now, if you are talking about a rebellion, things might also turn ugly if we go there,” Percival intervened.
“Salento is also out of the question, you know where I come from,” Evelyn added while rubbing her temples.
“I say that if you feel there is a civil war coming, we should stay and defend our place,” Percival added back.
The both of them looked back at Caruncle while Felicity and Valentin stayed silent.
“...”
“Caruncle?”
“What even for?” He said.
“What? What do you mean?” Evelyn asked.
“Why would you even stay?”
“You are pathetic,” Valentin finally said. “You might want to play games, but I don’t.”
“I’m not playing any games.”
“Say what you know.”
“What? So are you telling me you haven’t noticed?”
“Noticed what?”
“This morning, you saw our father talking with someone, did you see who that was?”
I looked into Valentin’ thoughts. He had seen their father with a person with a brown and worn out cloak when they were leaving for college. In the morning it had been raining and it had been difficult to see, but he remembered seeing him looking quite distressed.
“You know what he’s up to, is that right? Is that where you are going with this? I would prefer it if you didn’t spoon feed me that kind of information.”
The rest of the table looked already quite bored with the conversation, me and the rest were already ready to leave.
“Well, I know he has acted strange lately…”
“No, no, if you keep doing this, I’m going to stop you right now, right away. You know something, you know something if you are not telling me, you aren’t telling anyone, you have been strange yourself since way too long and if there is someone I rather suspect, it's you, Caruncle! You!” Valentin stood up as he yelled at him. Felicity stood up slowly afterwards looking around to see if any people were looking at them, but the dining hall was already empty aside from them. Percival and Evelyn stayed in their seats, Caruncle was silent again for a while.
“If you don’t want to talk with me, suit yourself, but if you want me to talk, you'd rather give me a reason, if I tell you what I know, you would have to help me in exchange.”
“Help you out? Help you out? What do you even need help with for fuck’s sake? Aren’t we family? Isn’t that enough? Do you really need a reason to tell your family? You know something and yet you refuse to speak. You make demands and you ask us… what? You never even said you wanted anything, see what I’m talking about? You keep going around in circles, how do you expect things to even happen that way?”
“... Because I feel that if I tell you, you will stop seeing me as family at all. No, I know you will.”
“I don’t even have the slightest idea of what that could even be, and I’m not playing this charade any longer.”
“...”
They stared at each other for a while. Percival stood up and Evelyn made a little clap with her hands. “Okay, so, for us it is time to leave . By now, I feel it would be convenient if we continue this afterwards, in a more private location, would that be alright with everyone?”
No one said anything, Evelyn stood up and took Caruncle by the arm trying to make him stand up. “I would agree, would it be alright if we talk together at your residence, Percival? Your place is usually alone and we could stay if the conversation goes for longer than midnight. Sounds alright?”
“Oh, well…” Percival looked at the ceiling and thought about it for a moment. I used to look at his thoughts some time ago, but I had lost interest in what he kept inside his mind. “Yes, I suppose that would be alright.”
“Very well, will you too agree to come and finish the matter at night?” She asked both brothers, but neither answered.
“I’m not really in the mood for games.”
“What I am talking about is a serious matter.”
Valentin turned around and walked out of the dinning hall. “You better talk tonight.” He murmured the last bit while walking again, leaving behind the other group of four. They said goodbye and headed to their classrooms. I didn’t bother to follow them afterwards.