You stand before a round oak door, nervous as you're working up the courage to enter the study. You pace back and forth, arguing on whether or not you should knock on the door. 36% of you say no, 20% say yes, and a worryingly 44% picked the funny-but-unhelpful option!
Finally, after griping with your inner self for so long, you give up and turn away from the door. But you hear someone clear their throat from inside the study.
"Oh, dear," says a youthful but elegant voice. "There's quite a bit of turmoil in you, young - or old, I'm not ageist - reader. Why don't you come inside for some tea?"
You freak out for a moment, wondering how the beautiful voice from behind the door could possibly be reading your mind. The voice laughs.
"I'm writing you, my dear!" it quipped. "Of course, I can read your mind! Now, come! I don't have all day, you know? I have stories to read myself."
Sighing, you shrug your shoulders. What's the worst that could happen? Your fate is in the voice's hands after all. You open the door with closed eyes, trying to wrangle in a sudden bout of existential dread. Trembling, you blindly walk over the threshold and into the study. You hear a crackling fireplace somewhere off to your left and the soft breathing of the study's only occupant.
"Finally," the voice grumbles pleasantly. You hear the sound of a cup clinking against a table and whisper-quiet footsteps padding towards you.
You freeze up, terrified that whatever approaches will end you right where you stand. You consider running, escaping down the hall where you might have a chance of leaving this dreadful place with your breath still in your body. Before you can move a muscle, however, you feel a small paw slap your leg, and the voice cry, "How do you do, reader?"
Jolting backward, you open your eyes in surprise not to see some ferocious beast of an author but...a small felt mouse with a fake totally real and super-duper handsome mustache and a big black K on its chest. The mouse wiggles its large, round ears at you in greeting, gesturing toward a table with two chairs on either side. "Shall we sit and have a cuppa?" it asked politely.
"Uh, er, sure," you mumble, unsure of how or why this...thing is a sapient being capable of producing some of the best work you've ever seen. You watch, intrigued, as the mouse skips over to a chair and, with one jump and a bit of a scramble, plops onto the seat.
"Well? What are you waiting for?"
"Ah, nothing..."
You quickly make your way to the other chair, sneakers loudly slapping against the dark wood floors. The mouse grimaces at the dirt you track into the room but says nothing, patiently pouring another cup of tea.
Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.
"I'm not English, you know. I just like impersonating them and their tea-addicted habits," it says, pushing the cup towards you. You take it, gratefully, and take a hesitant sip. It's good, you have to admit. No sign of any poisoning yet...
The mouse chuckles. "Relax! I'm not here to kill you; I promise!"
The words of reassurance did little to calm your anxiety but, for the moment, you force yourself to relax and wait for the mouse to finish taking a particularly big gulp of tea. You hold back a snort as the creature lets out a startled gasp when it spilled the tea, covering your mouth with your hand as it glared at you. It whipped a handkerchief out of the air and dabbed at its fluffy chest before tossing it back into nonexistence.
"So!" it finally begins. "What can I help you with?"
"I, um, I'm struggling a bit to keep up with your story," you begin shyly, twiddling your thumbs. "You kind of...jump all over the place and it's...difficult to follow-"
"Your bloodline is weak," the mouse deadpanned.
"Um...what?"
"Hm? Oh, the story structure is confusing? Deary me, that's unfortunate!"
"Y-yeah, so if you could limit the number of interludes-"
"You bring shame to your entire clan," the creature hissed.
"I, ack, what?"
"Pardon? Cut down on the interludes? I quite like the amount we have. They're sporadic, you know. I think maybe there's a different solution to this problem, don't you?"
"Um...no?"
The mouse laughed, throwing its head back. "Of course, you don't, silly reader. Did you even read the title?"
You look up, straining to see through the lines of text before your eyes see the words WEDNESDAY RECAP #1. "Oh...So then...Why's it taking you so long to get to the recap?"
"I got distracted," the mouse sighed. "Already 788 words in and I've gotten off-topic..."
"...Why don't you start now?"
The author perked up. "Oh, since you asked so nicely, why not? I suppose we'll start with Thursday's chapters. And by we, I mean me. You have no part in this."
"I-er, yeah, I guess..."
----------------------------------------
THURSDAY
We check back in on Crystal in chapter C.3 (I changed Interlude: Crystal to Crystal.1 so it makes a bit more sense that way.) and find she's lost her magic progress just as Flake has while re-gaining the class {Mage}. She then meets a Player in disguise going by the name 'Jerome' who agrees to help her find civilization. Meanwhile, in chapter 41, Flake is struggling to cope with the loss of his classes. He finds closure by practicing his skills only to further anger an irate NPC called Prisoner Jamarco, a political prisoner who's spent a decade in Elden Keep's dungeon.
FRIDAY
We take yet another break from our scheduled programming to get a sneak peek at the exclusive content available to all patrons on my Patreon! There, we meet a young Myconid {Lady} going by the name of Liu Rijal who's been kidnapped by {Pirates} led by their fearsome captain, an Apeman called Kurt. This story is, of course, part of the extended Raidscape universe and will have no direct impact on Flake's story. Heading back to chapter 42, Flake nearly has yet another mental breakdown when he unknowingly triggers the responses to even more unnamed NPC prisoners.
----------------------------------------
"Well," the mouse says, brushing imaginary dirt off of its legs. It hops out of its chair and waddles over to you. "It's been fun recapping with you, readers, but I'm afraid our time together must end."
You protest as it grabs you with strength unbefitting its size and drags you towards the exit. "Ah, wait! Isn't there any more you can tell-"
"Nope! See you in the next chapter"
The mouse kicks you in the butt, punting you out of existence.