"Ziss vill pe your room for now," Inge said, stopping in front of a wooden door. "Vu vill schtay here undil vu learn to pe ein good poy."

So many doors in this place are made out of wood. And not any varying types; the same dark brown bark from some tree makes up nearly every single door in the keep. I'd passed dozens of identical doors as Inge led me through the barracks tower. Whatever. It's not my place to question the design choice of my employers.

But who builds a barrack in a tower?

Inge grabbed the door handle, which promptly snapped off at her touch. "Oobs," she deadpanned.

Sighing, I started to roll my shoulders only to realize I was still under the control of the old hag's [Forced March]. "Can you let me go?" I asked as politely as I could. "I can try to break open the door if you free me."

She eyed me, suspicion clear in her ancient blue eyes. "Zounds like zomezing ein brizoner vould zay, ja?"

"Then why'd you free me?"

"To mess vith vu!" She cackled, slapping my arm. Each slap felt like that stupid {Great Warrior} was punching me. "Ja, ja! Vu is pad {Guard} put funny poy!"

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"Please...stop hitting me," I said through gritted teeth.

Inge smirked, giving me one last look before turning to face the door. "I oben zee door. Vu vait undil it's zafe to pe free, okay?"

"Fine..."

The elderly {Keeper} muttered under her breath. "[Open Door]."

The handleless entryway swung open, revealing two people going at it hard in a dilapidated dorm room only slightly better than my former prison cell. The woman gasped when she saw Inge, cringing under the sweaty body of her partner.

"Oh, dear," Inge murmured. "It looks like zis vas ein zecret room."

The man scrambled up, banging his head on the top bunk. He winced, grabbing at his head as he stumbled away from the bed and toward a discarded pile of clothing. "We-we're so sorry, {Keeper}!" he cried, pulling on his shirt. "It won't happen again!"

"I'll pet," she said, amused as she watched him yank his clothes on and quickly evacuate the room. She raised one eyebrow at the girl, who had covered herself as best she could with a ratty blanket. "Und?"

The girl's face flushed as she shimmied further under the blanket. "That was Charles. What is he doing here?"

"New pad {Guard} is your ped mate. Name is...?" Inge looked at me curiously.

"Flake," I said, staring at the girl. "And bed mate? Sorry, but I don't think that's-"

"She means dorm mate," the girl cut in, her cheeks turning even redder. But as she eyed me back, she gave me an appreciative smirk. "Although, I wouldn't mind putting Charles on hold to give you a chance..."

"No thanks," I said curtly. "Inge, am I free to go now?"

"Ja, ja," the {Keeper} said. "Hale vill make sure zee {Zerffants} drop off zome clozes for vu." After a beat, she added, "After sche gets zem herself, of courze."

With that, she released me from her [Forced March] and went hobbling down the hall.