After a lovely time familiarizing myself with the kitchen, I decided to go with Sithli to Kith Bog Village to meet his family.

I could have run the distance in half the time it took the wagon, but it was nice riding with Sithli. And no one bothered you if you were riding with the Dark Lord's Army.

"Truly, Your Highnesss, we have a bimbleberry patch as long as one ssside of the castle wall! Early sspring is the best time to go picking." Sithli assured me. "And my wife will be happy for the company, she misses Lilith and Tulith ssince they got work at the castle."

"Tulith is the maid who picked up King Keith's breakfast this morning right? Did she say if he liked it?" Few back home in Drendil knew that their Crown Princess enjoyed baking. I once mistakenly gave my mother homemade biscuits when I was six and she locked me up in the punishment room for a day. It was a secret room, empty save for a hard chair and desk, with no windows or lights.

Then they’d sent me off dungeon-delving to level my [Warrior] Class.

I became very, very familiar with that room. So familiar that after two years of screaming and ruining my nails trying to escape, I’d found another secret door leading into the servants wing and out past the castle into town!

From there, I was able to slip out and do whatever I liked doing! I also made my first friend, Bronwynn; she was an apprentice bard who knew everyone. She’d even set me up with baking lessons from Jeff, the husband of a famous [Baker]. He helped his wife as an assistant, and I helped him when I could.

And since I was punished at least once a week, I’d happily spent that time living my best life.

Now I was living my best life baking for the evil hordes.

"He licked the plate clean, as I heard it." Sithli chuckled. "And he weren't the only one. Please share your recipesss with my wife, Princesss, and I'll gladly swear to assist you in your hour of need."

"That's sweet Sithli, but I'm sure I'll only be around for a short time. In the meantime, I'm happy to share any of my favorite foods with you and your family. If you hadn't let me in to see His Viciousness, I don't know what I would have done."

The thought of fighting the lizardkin left a sour taste in my mouth.

"It was our pleasure, Princesss." Sithli said. We turned a corner and suddenly found ourselves looking out over a beautiful wooden hut village built into and over the swampland. Wooden roads on stilts high above the soggy grass kept our wagon from getting bogged down in the… bog.

Sithli continued, "The gate-golem didn't attack, and we figured that our most illustriouss and powerful Dark Lord would want to know right away if any foreign royalss came to duel. It’s all the rage in North Sumbria these days, you know! Our orderss are to never enter the inner ssanctum so as a royal it seemed only right to let you deliver your challenge in person."

"Oh, um…" I realized how my declaration of, "I'm here to fight Lord Keith!" might have been taken the wrong way. I should have said something like "I'm the Hero, come to end the evil Dark Overlord cursing our lands!" or something like that.

Just another way I failed at being a proper Hero.

Also, maybe I should've taken off the adorable hedgehog print apron Gerda had given me, and put down my basket of bimbleberry scones before making my challenge.

I'd taken them off before seeing King Keith at least!

Anyways.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Sithli, my love!" A very pregnant lizardkin who wobbled while she walked hurried over to meet us. She had beautiful golden slit eyes and darker magenta and green scales.

"Milith, how are you?" My lizardman friend jumped down and wrapped an arm around his wife to steady her. "I've brought someone to break bread with."

"I'm Henrietta," I said, unhitching the alligator-dog bogbeast that was pulling our wagon. I led it into a muddy stable and settled it in. One of King Keith's automata looked at us from its half sunken state near the town entrance, but it didn't otherwise react. I gave it a wide berth. "I promised Sithli some scone recipes in exchange for a tour of the village."

"A foodie?" Milith raised an eyebrow, smiling. "You'll want to try out Dithba's Laire. She is our kin’s best."

With our things stowed, I happily followed after the pair while they explained why Dithba's twisted flake loaf was to die for. Namely, it was folded in garlic and cheese.

We reached the village square when the Village Crystal lit up.

"Hello, this is Madame Potts.

This Week's Events are in! February edition:

There will be a Special Drop in the Dungeon of Despair on the 3rd Floor.

Crit Rates in the Dungeon Valley Crest will have a +5% bonus if you are wearing Red from now until the New Moon.

Anyone interested in Grand Duchess Calisto's Spring Ball in May, you should have received your invites by now.

Marquis Dorset of the Kingdom of Servalt IS the slave trader you are looking for. Please catch him before he attacks the Filla Orphanage.

The King of Drendil has ordered the Crown Princess to go kill King Keith - or die trying! Luckily, mass murder has been avoided.

Peldeep's Lunar New Year will spark an interesting event this month:

Couples who confess in front of Julia's Grotto will have matching tattoos appear on their hands that can only be washed off with water steeped in Julia apple-tree blossoms.

This is Madame Potts, signing off."

Wow, Madame Potts' Cast had some really useful tips this time! It was odd that wearing red would give extra damage in Dungeon Valley Crest, but Madame Potts was almost never wrong. And even then, she only ever failed if someone worked hard to change her future predictions.

Five years ago she took the continent by storm when all the Cast Crystals lit up and Madame Pott’s voice emerged.

"Hello? Can anyone hear this?

Sorry to hack into the Crystal Cast Network, but there’s going to be a Dungeon Break in Frisia unless someone can find and clear it.

I would start the search on the south-west side of Mount Seagirt for the Dungeon entrance."

The Mages Tower had been inundated with outrage that someone had 'hacked' - which presumably meant illegally connected to - everyone's Cast Crystals… until an Adventurer followed the lead and found Dungeon Malik on Mount Seagirt. The place was teeming with ghouls and mere days from a Dungeon Break.

It was a near thing that could have wiped Frisia from the map.

Lizardkin from around Kith Bog had come out to listen to the Crystal. They crowded around the village square talking about the predictions in various levels of curiosity and outrage.

Milith shook her head. "That King Simon never learnss. Why doess he throw away resources attacking our Lord like that? It's just foolishnesss is what it isss."

"Masss murder?" Sithli stared at me in horror.

I blushed, "I mean… I was sent here to kill King Keith. I wasn't expecting everyone would just, you know, welcome me in and escort me to the inner sanctum!"

Sithli stared at me harder, reaching an arm around Milith.

"I'm not gonna suddenly mass murder everyone now!" I defended, a touch loudly. People turned to look at us so I added, "Madame Potts said so herself! It's been avoided."

Milith, who caught on quickly, cut in. "So you're the Crown Princesss?"

She looked over my high quality, warm and soft green ladies' hunting tunic and lace up floral print boots. All articles I'd found in the late Queen’s wardrobe.

"It's a long story." I said. Then I spotted a beautiful wooden sign hanging from a log shop with Dithba's Laire scrawled on it. I motioned towards our destination and continued, "Wanna talk about it over garlic and cheese twists?"