I sat beside Grand Duchess Calisto, directly in front of Rowen as they gave a passionate welcome speech to one and all.

It was an honour I’d received for finding the most traps… and while I was frustrated that I wouldn’t be able to deliberately sit close to the void mage and foil her plans with a violent sleeping potion to the face, I was beyond happy that I got front row seats to watch as my one of my favourite fan-pairings tied the knot.

“I do.” Chloe said firmly. The necromancer turned to face Julia and smiled softly, reaching up to wipe a tear from the taller woman’s cheek. Julia leaned into Chloe’s touch. It was beautiful. I wasn’t crying. Yet. Chloe’s voice was quiet, yet travelled over the hall by magic. “Julia, I have waited patiently for this day.”

There was a cough from the audience, and I turned in time to see Henrietta elbow King Keith in the side. RIP Keith. The Dark Lord almost expired on the spot, but managed to gather himself and palm a potion.

Between myself and the Dark Enchanted Forest couple, Julian was scanning the audience for interruptions. If this all went according to my visions though, he needn’t worry.

Not that he knew that.

Ignoring the audience, Chloe lowered her hand back down and laced Julia’s fingers with her own. “My love, you are the light of my life. The breath on my lips. Though I am a caster who holds life and death in my palm, I didn’t know what it was like to be alive until I met you.”

The necromancer drew their interlaced fingers to her lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of Julia’s hand. “I pledge to be your partner. Your resting place. To welcome you home from every journey. I pledge to love you, unconditionally, through laughter and light, though darkness and pain. Beyond death. I vow, before friend and foe, that I will protect, honor and defend you. And anyone who would comes between us will fodder our flowers.”

Chloe’s vicious smile flashed. I already knew that the woman had a propensity for obsessive love. That was one of the reasons everyone shipped her with Julia. The prickly dark mage with the boisterous Paladin of Light.

The necromancer summoned a mithril band from her storage and placed it on Julia’s ring finger, her eyes glowing softly with her vow. “Let this day be the day all know that I am yours, and you are mine.”

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

I resisted the urge to clap while Grand Duchess Calisto sniffled. The woman was crying happy tears. Julian had crossed his arms and frowned in consideration.

Julia was marrying a necromancer who cultivated the Black Fortress carnivorous gardens… it shouldn’t have come as too much of a surprise that her vows were both obsessive and hinted violence.

“So it is said, so it is done.” Their Royal Highness nodded. The fox turned to Julia and asked. “Julia, do you take Chloe to be your wife?”

“I do.” Julia nodded happily. She had to take a steadying breath. “Chloe, I cannot imagine a world without you. Since the first day I met you, I’ve found a home that I want to return to. I cherish every day we are together, through the good and the bad.

“My heart is committed to be with you for as long as blood runs through my veins. My soul is yours, in this life and the next. I am a passionate woman, and until now I’ve never met anyone who I felt like I could share myself with. My thoughts, my hopes, my dreams. You are more than my partner. You are my best friend. My lodestone. My wife.”

Julia pulled out her own wedding band and slipped it onto Chloe’s finger. The paladin’s skin shone with a faint glow as her voice carried over the audience. “I vow to be ever faithful and true. I vow to choose you, every day, because you are my happily ever after.”

“So it is said, so it is done.” Their Royal Highness grinned, showing off their fox fangs. “Then it is with great pleasure that I pronounce to you wed. Ladies, you may now kiss your bride.”

Julia leaned down with her eyes closed. Chloe reached out and wound one arm around the paladin’s waist, the other hooking Julia’s leg, spinning and dipping the tall woman into a passionate kiss.

I bolted to my feet, cheering with the crowd. Someone activated an enchantment on the Sanctuary stained glass windows, and each pane of glass lit up the hall in a stunning array of colours. Bronwynn plucked a short refrain of music.

And I started counting down the seconds until the planned attack.

After a long kiss, Julia and Chloe pulled apart, laughing, and then kissed one more time.

I exchanged a look with Their Royal Highness and squeezed the arm of Grand Duchess Calisto to get her attention. The fox acknowledged me with a wink and then reached out to place a hand on each of the newlyweds. This was only possible because I'd waited until after finding enough traps to win the game and show off my impressive 'trap finding' skills. At the end, I pointed out three 'traps' that neither John nor Rowen nor Callisto could 'detect'.

Of course, that was because they weren't there... yet. Since I kindly identified those traps, and no one was able to deal with them - and the wedding was starting - a plan of action had been made.

“Congratulations, both of you.” Rowen’s face split into a playful fox grin.

And then all three disappeared into a puff of smoke.