It had taken some time to look over the lunch options, but we’d eventually decided on savouries first. Each of us ordered sandwiches with a side of soup and a cold drink. I’d had the floofpoof egg salad with miner’s lettuce, fresh tomatoes and a cream sauce. The tomatoes were exactly as I was used to. My soup of choice was a smooth and nutty squash puree with small dumplings and bacon bits.

Henrietta had picked a grilled flying pig’s belly with a red sauce that reminded me of smoky maple barbeque, with minor’s lettuce, tomatoes, scallions, and a fried phoenix egg. She’d paired it with a soy based miso soup loaded with tiny cut mushrooms and green onion and wild carrots.

We’d eaten our soup and sandwich in relative silence, taking the time to savour the late lunch.

“Delicious.” Henrietta said happily, finishing her last few bites and sitting back content.

“Hm,” I made a satisfied noise as I’d pushed aside my plate. There was a tiny piece of tomato remaining that had fallen out.

We both picked up our dishes and returned them to a bin at the counter. The treats we’d ordered were handed over and we walked back to our seats.

“This is my new favourite Tea House on the entire continent.” Henrietta said around a mouthful of markleberry crescent-shaped pastry. It looked like a croissant, but with egg wash and fluffy Japanese milk bread as the base.

A markleberry was as large as an avocado and it was the colour purple when it ripened. Inside, it was a dark brown and tasted like chocolate pudding. Every berry had three seeds in the centre. The pudding of the berry was frozen or dried in the sun, and then processed into jams, jellies or whipped with unigoat cream for a very close but not exact milk chocolate flavour. The sugar of the berry meant that it already had a natural sweetness.

It was just another reminder that I was trapped in a fantastical world.

“It’s almost as good as your baking.” I agreed, taking a sip of high quality Pixie Prim nettle tea.

“I’ll need to bring Keith here on a date.” Henrietta said, gazing sadly at the last bite of her chosen dessert.

I bit into the piece of pastry she’d cut off for me. We’d decided to each buy one and share. My choice was similar to a matcha brioche loaf. The green tea didn’t taste like green tea exactly, but the colour of the brew was green and so that is what it was called.

People were articulate in every world.

This particular green tea bread was baked with dried strawberries and served warm from the oven with butter.

It was perfection.

Henrietta sighed a contented sigh, and then shot me a side eye. “Don’t think I've forgotten that we were talking about your feelings for our half-elf friend.”

She’d done the courtesy of not naming names now that we were inside a shop. Albeit with only the shopkeeper and few others.

“There is nothing to talk about.” I stated firmly. And really, there wasn’t. Sure, I stanned Julian. He was tall, dark, and brooding – but secretly playful, and hard-working, and attractive…

Alright, enough of that. The man’s biggest flaw was that he wasn’t considerate in the conventional way. He hid himself in the north and stayed there, and while he loved his family he wouldn’t risk change to be with them.

And he was fixated on levelling up.

All in all, not someone right for a bridge troll from the Dark Enchanted Forest trying to make her way home.

“Does that mean that you won’t try for him?” Henrietta asked, pouring herself a second glass of berry blend tisane. “Even if it’s just for fun, the festival is a great time to flirt.”

I snorted. “You want me to flirt? With the duke?”

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

I lowered my voice at the last second on duke.

“Why not?” Henrietta pointed her teaspoon at me. “You are beautiful, witty, charming, and powerful. He should count himself lucky to hold your hand.”

She was so sincere it was sweet. “I’m pretty sure he isn’t interested in flirting. With anyone.”

“I don’t know. The way he was staring at you…”

“Henrietta.” I shook my head. “Just because I find someone attractive doesn’t mean I should suddenly go on the offensive. Luck knows I’m already busy enough without man troubles added on. Need I remind you that I am the target of espionage and assassination? And what’s with all the assassinations anyway!”

It wasn’t a question. The Blackfog spies were ridiculous. I knew the general outside of the video games and it didn’t matter how much I changed things, this was a bit much.

The spies had no reasonable cause to act, and there wasn’t anything they could accomplish with their actions. The plot seemed contrived and shoe-horned in to keep things running, but neglected to reveal any exposition on the importance of their goals.

By this point, we should at least know who the leader is and what they wanted. And it couldn’t just be to watch the world burn.

“I mean, assassination attempts happen all the time.” Henrietta pointed out. “And if someone new took over a league of spies and wanted to stir up trouble, they couldn’t find an easier - if more expensive - way to go about spreading chaos.”

“Frogs, Henrietta, they turned a bunch of civilians into frogs.”

My queen shrugged, “And we were in that group of people handed free drinks. If Rufus hadn’t detected the poison then we’d all have been easy targets for the group. Cast an area of effect spell to hit a hidden rogue, as they say.”

“Frogs.” I repeated, before I stuffed a piece of not-matcha bread into my mouth and lost myself to the rich flavour. It was good enough that a soft noise of pleasure escaped me.

“I’m definitely bringing Keith here after the wedding.” Henrietta vowed, tasting my dessert. “We might be too busy with the wedding to come tomorrow, but before we go home I’m going to drag my husband here.”

“Hm.” I agreed, eating the last of my bread.

“And you can bring Julian.” My friend poked. I coughed on my tea.

“Are you done yet? I have no plans to speak with the duke ever again. And even if I do think he’s cute… he’s heading back to the North as soon as the closing ceremonies end so it would be a bad idea to get attached.”

“So you think he’s cute?”

I stood up. “If you are going to keep teasing me, do it while we look at Grand Duchess Callisto’s Hall of Inventions.”

“Good idea.” She finished up and joined me. We headed back up the street, Henrietta positively bouncing with excitement. “We can show everyone else around when they're free.”

We found our way back to the statues and headed into the hall.

There was a small reception area with a fox woman sitting at a desk and handing out pamphlets to anyone who wanted one.

“Welcome to the Hall of Inventions.” The fox greeted us with her best customer service smile. “Please don’t touch anything or you will burst into flames. No eating in the display area. Magic of any kind is prohibited inside the building. And please check out our catalogue at the end if you wish to order any of our Inventions for yourself.”

“Thank you!” Henrietta beamed, taking the slip and unfurling it so that she could immediately read over the map. “Oh Gerda! It says they have a new line of cold storage options in the annex. They have an entire section just for magical kitchen wares!”

I smiled down at the woman, her excitement catching. “Lead on then.”

It took us two hours to wander around the building of magically engineered tools that almost all closely resembled electronics from my world. There were a few exceptions, one being a pair of wings that let you fly as the fae did, and a wardrobe that magically put away all of the clean laundry thrown inside it… I may have considered ordering the last.

Laundry wasn’t fun in any world, and at this point I made do with cleaning services or throwing clothes into my storage ring instead of having to deal with it. But, if I made a walk in closet off of my bedroom space, I could stick a double wide wardrobe inside and live with the luxury of a walk in self-maintaining closet.

Truly tempting.

“Would you have to cancel your contract with Brenda’s Brownies?” Henrietta was asking me. Brenda was a grandmother of house fae whom I dropped off my laundry with. They cleaned and purified. They were better than a dry-cleaner and delivered my linen’s back to my doorstep.

“No,” I blew the ink on my newly written order form. “I’d still want someone to do my laundry, and then a magic wardrobe to put it away.”

It was a bit of a waste of money, since I already had the hero’s capacity spatial ring and didn't need a closet… but I had so much money from raiding treasure hordes that I wasn’t too worried.

“I wonder if Rinrin– oh, one second.” Henrietta pulled out a string necklace that was hidden under her clothes. On it was an unassuming button that was buzzing gently. Henrietta poked it three times.

“Henrietta?” Keith’s voice was soft as a whisper, though I thanked my perception that allowed me to focus on it for clarity.

“Yes, love?” Henrietta also spoke quietly in response.

“Julia is missing.”