Everything was blurry, like I was looking at it through a foggy window; the details weren't clear. I could tell I was in my old bedroom, and I could remember the smell of freshly washed sheets—yet those things felt so distant to me.
As if they belonged to someone else.
My body was wrapped in a blanket, tucked tightly underneath the covers of my bed. I was curled up in the fetal position, and my eyes were shut tight. There was something soft pressed against my cheek—it was my old, familiar pillow. The one I'd woken up the next to, day after day, night after night in my childhood. I could feel the softness of the fabric and the gentle rise and fall of the material as I breathed.
As I stayed there, the memories came back, slowly like an old movie being rewound: I remembered waking up that morning and getting dressed. I recalled the soft, cool sensation of the shirt brushing against my bare skin. I could also recall the scent of fresh air in the hallway and how the sunlight filtered through the windows. I could remember the taste of the breakfast my mother made for me, ham and French toast with syrup. I remembered weakly crawling out of bed as my father scrambled out the door.
His perfect punctuality would be his doom that fateful Tuesday.
I could remember the sound of the clock ticking loudly in the kitchen and the sound of footsteps as I ran to school nearby. I could vividly recall the excitement and anticipation I felt as I waited to arrive at my classroom. I was happy. I was excited. I was full of energy. I was alive. I was young.
And then it all changed.
All the colors faded. Everything became dark and grey, like a painting left in the rain. I heard an explosion in the distance—a loud, thunderous roar that shook the ground beneath me. My heart skipped a beat. I tried to stand, but something was wrong with me. I couldn't move.
The roof over me collapsed, and the dust and debris covered everything. I was suddenly trapped under rubble, unable to escape. I was buried alive. I felt the pressure of the rocks crashing down on me. I screamed. I cried.
A man's voice shouted something I couldn't understand. I was confused and scared. I wanted to run away, but I was trapped inside the building; the walls crumbled around me, and I fell into a black hole.
"Help me," I cried, but no one answered me. I was alone.
"Please don't leave me," I pleaded with the darkness, and the tears rolled down my face. "Someone please help me!"
I was crying when the sun rose. I woke up to a bright, sunny morning and opened my eyes. I was still in the same place: my own room.The
blankets and pillows I had clutched so desperately in my sleep had fallen to the floor. I was soaked in sweat, and everything was still blurry. I was breathing heavily and felt like I had just been running. As the realization hit me that it was all just a nightmare, I calmed down and reached for my phone where I usually left it.
As soon as my hand touched the screen—my alarm went off.
"Ugh!" I groaned as I slipped my thumb over the device's screen. It didn't matter, though. I had to get ready for work.
With a deep sigh, I reached for my glasses and put them on. I was already late.
I put on my glasses, only to see that my entire world was animated, like a cartoon. I felt like my brain was trying to catch up to the reality of what I was seeing, and my stomach turned as I realized my vision was still blurred, like I was in a lucid dream.
"What?" I muttered to myself. This is ridiculous! I was awake, wasn't I? I took a step forward to test out my theory and immediately stumbled. I was tripping on air.
This was wrong.
I landed on my feet in the middle of a city street and didn't know how I got there. Nor did I know why I was walking in such a daze. All I knew was that I needed to keep moving - to stay alert. So, I did.
As I walked, I noticed that the city seemed completely different. I looked up at the sky and saw that the clouds were darker than usual, and everything looked particularly colorful around me. The buildings were like toys, all brightly colored and detailed like an art piece. The people were wearing typical pedestrian clothes and were going about their business as if nothing had happened. The streets were crowded, as always, but I froze as I took another look. They were all animated, and it was like watching a high-budget anime. The scenery shifted, and I saw two familiar twin towers burning away in the distance. I was in a quaint, quieter city neighborhood now.
While standing there, a familiar sight caught my eye. My heart leaped up into my throat: It was him. Despite the strange, cel-shaded animation that had taken over the entire world, I could recognize him. My old neighbor, Mr. Conte, was walking past me with a cup of coffee in his hand. He was a World War II veteran and loved to wear a suit even when he wasn't going to work.
As the realization hit me, my fears brimmed to the surface.
What was happening to me? Was I losing my mind? Was this real life, or just some sort of elaborate hoax? Was I still asleep and dreaming? Had my mind been slowly breaking down while I slept? The thought terrified me, so I decided to avoid the topic for now. Instead, I took a closer look at Mr. Conte as he walked past. Everything seemed normal, but I couldn't stop staring.
His face was covered in grey stubble, like the hair on an old man's chin. He had a small bald spot on the back of his head, but other than that, there was no sign of any illness. He was healthy and robust. There were zero signs of the man wasting away in a hospital bed for weeks on end.
As I watched him go by, something suddenly occurred to me: how he held himself was unlike how I remembered him. When he walked, he didn't walk with his shoulders hunched and his back bowed over - he walked straight and tall like a healthy adult.
He never spent too much time worrying about himself, but his posture looked right as he strolled down the sidewalk. His clothing was simple yet stylish — and much dapper than anything he would have worn in my memories. Mr. Conte had a wife with him for fifty years, and the two served as surrogate grandparents to me when my mother worked late hours. They were always supportive of the things I did in school and taught me everything I knew. He had passed the year before, my dear departed mother did, and his wife followed him shortly after.
"Good morning," he said cheerily as he passed by. "If you like your coffee black and unsweetened, then don't be shy about it!"
As he continued to say hello to people on the street, he couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. Suddenly, there was another explosion that sent glass flying in every direction. A massive fire erupted from the building in front of me, and I stood directly in the path of its burning embers.
There was no time to escape. There was no time to run. All I could do was turn and face the flames as they came at me like a speeding train. This wasn't a dream. I knew that much now. As the heat and smoke roared all around me, I felt my clothes getting hotter and hotter. I screamed as I burned alive.
When the flames finally passed, it took me some time to realize that everything around me was ash. The buildings were nothing more than smoldering rubble, and the streets had become little more than piles of burnt cinders. Ashes of the past, memories that had already been destroyed. I sat down in a pile of ash, overcome with grief, as tears rolled down my cheeks.
As my body shook uncontrollably, someone - or something—came to me.
They wrapped their arms around me and held me close, like a mother would. "It's alright... It's okay. We're safe. It's just a bad dream."
It was a familiar voice. One that invoked memories that were both new and old. A voice that I had recently become accustomed to.
I tried to reply, but my voice was shaky as it emerged between my trembling lips.
"Alice?" I mumbled as the other person let go of me.
I turned around and looked at the girl in front of me. The teenaged girl wore a blazer and slacks like me and had light skin. When did I put a blazer on? I was dimly aware that her hair was dark blue... just like mine. She had purple eyes like me, but hers were sharper than mine, making me think they might look better with glasses. I was taller than her, but we were the same height.
As she came closer to me — I could feel her. Not her face or body anything, but her presence. It wasn't just that she was there: she was in the same space as I was. We were in the same cognitive realm.
Then, she snapped her fingers.
The blurriness that'd covered my vision suddenly evaporated, and we were in an open, animated grass field. We weren't separated by a layer of imaginary space anymore.
How did I know what that was?
My heart started beating wildly inside my chest as a fog lifted from my mind.
"Where am I? What's going on? Where did you come from?" I asked, fear brimming in my heart. This didn't feel real; none of this felt real. Was this a nightmare? Was I still asleep?
As if reading my thoughts, the person spoke again, and everything became clear like magic — or so I thought. She suddenly walked up to me and put both arms on my shoulders while looking at me seriously, "I... look. I don't have much time. Just...we )_@$/?>?... a window soon... Talk..."
Her words faded into gibberish, but I understood them. We will have a window soon. Window for what?
My eyes widened in surprise at her words. As my heart stopped racing and the feeling returned to my limbs.
I felt a sudden jerking motion overtake my limbs, and I opened my eyes wide. I shot up in my bed with a gasp.
◆◆◆
It was morning, and the sun shone brightly through my window, casting a warm glow over my room. The curtains swayed gently as a small draft blew in from outside, rippling like waves on a lake. Nothing was out of the ordinary; the only thing I could hear was the sound of the wind blowing through the trees and the rustle of snowflakes. Thankfully, we weren't snowed in or anything. We only had an inch of snow to deal with, which had almost melted overnight.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to try to get a moment of peace. But it was useless — that dream was far too realistic. The details were vivid, and I could still remember the smell of ashes, even though I hadn't smelled anything like that since my mother's funeral. The sensation of being trapped under the falling debris, as if I were buried beneath an avalanche, still lingered in my mind.
I sighed; I knew that the best way to forget about the horrible images that had haunted me was not to dwell on them. Instead, I focused on the present and the future and tried to ignore what had happened in the past. That was the first step to healing.
I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and then dressed in simple clothes. Going downstairs, I noted that Lori's shoes were missing from the rack. I went to her bedroom to check and found that she was gone.
That was odd.
She had left the house early in the morning—she must've had somewhere to go. I wondered where she was off to.
I sighed and moved to our kitchen to open our icebox. The icebox was almost Victorian-style, like something from a museum. I pulled the handle, and the cold air rushed in from the refrigerator, chilling my hands. I mentally reached in and grabbed some of the leftover shoulders from last night; before throwing it into a frying pan to thaw out. Walking over to the stove, I snapped my fingers and lit it as usual.
As I prepared the meal, I turned to an embedded garnet at the icebox and cast a quick spell, sucking heat from the closed system and restoring the ice. I made a mental note to get around to inventing a proper compressor and refrigerator prototype sometime this month with Tarrant's help.
Humming to myself, I went back and finished preparing breakfast, then sat down to eat at my desk to plan out a physical exercise, workshop, and magic schedule.
When I had just about finished eating—I heard footsteps in the hall coming up to my door. A moment later, they stopped outside my room: there was a knock. "Alice?" It sounded like Lori calling through the door.
I quickly shut my book and ran to answer the door. I gave Lori a shy smile as I opened it.
Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun, and her outfit looked very business-like. She had a white shirt tucked in with a pair of black pants. When I looked closely, I noticed a thin silver chain hanging from her neck. She also had her runesword strapped to her waist.
"Good morning," she greeted. "Did you sleep well last night?"
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I nodded. "It was alright," I replied. "I had some strange dreams, but that was all."
Lori frowned, and she shook her head. "Well, I'm glad that everything is okay for now," she said. "But if you need to talk about those dreams, or anything like that, please don't hesitate to tell me. I'll always be here to listen. Now! I do have a few things for you today — some books and supplies for your training."
I smiled, taking ahold of the books. Then, I took a quick look at their titles:
- Magic and Alchemy: A Beginner's Guide
- Mana Theory 101: Understanding the Basics of Mana and Magic (Part 1)
- An Introduction to Spellcrafting
- The Complete Idiot's Guide to Magical Creatures
- The Infernal Compendium: A Guide to Monsters Native to the Continent of Eldridan
This...must have cost a bit, I thought to myself. Lori had also purchased a whole bunch of pens and empty notebooks. I looked up at my sister with a worried expression on my face.
She seemed to notice this and waved her hand in front of me dismissively. "Don't worry; this is just a little something to tide you over for a few weeks. Besides, this will keep you occupied so that you can focus on your studies. I won't spend any more than necessary, so stop worrying!"
She was being really considerate of me here, and I could see she was trying to cheer me up. I really appreciated her gesture, especially after what happened recently. So, I did my best to smile back and thanked her again for the gift, and then we went downstairs to get some tea.
"So, are you going somewhere else?" I asked as I watched Lori take down some teacups from the shelf—her movements were quick but smooth. She was awfully dressed up for a morning book supply run.
Lori stopped to look at me: she raised an eyebrow before smiling sweetly at me; "Well, kind of," she replied casually. "I'm actually working today. I'll be heading down to the guild today. The guildmaster called an emergency meeting for local adventurers with Rank B ranks and up."
She turned around and poured two cups of tea into the cups — one steaming black and another covered in purple leaves and herbs — and set them on the table between us. Lori pushed the cup with the black tea at me and gave me a smile.
I picked up my cup and took a sip. It tasted like honey, which was a pleasant surprise that caused me to stare at it wide-eyed. Lori chuckled, and I blushed a little.
We both drank a few sips of the tea. After finishing hers, Lori put the teapot away. "Now, I have to leave. If you need anything, please let me know; otherwise I'll meet you back home tonight. Bye, Alice!" With that, she headed towards the door.
I couldn't help but stare. I was used to seeing Lori in armor, in the middle of battle, or casually loafing around. This was different.
Shaking my head, I made my way back upstairs to study. The first thing I did was check on the books and supplies. Then, I decided to spend some time reading the book about mana theory. At least that way, I'd have a fundamental understanding of how mana worked.
I started reading the first chapter, which was quite interesting and exciting.
As it turned out, mana worked in three different states: a raw state, an active state, and a stilled state.
'Raw' mana is the natural state of mana and mana in its most basic form. It is naturally found in the environment and in all living things and can be harnessed by anyone who has the capacity to manipulate and use it. According to popular theory, beings with a more significant spiritual presence and states of existence will generate and store more mana proportional to their spiritual weight.
There were several chapters in the book dedicated to raw mana and its countless properties, but a passage did catch my eye here. Supposedly, the greater the amount of mana a creature holds, the more it naturally resists external magical effects. Living creatures could allow a spell to pass through consciously, but most creatures have an innate resistance active at all times. Effects that act on a target's entire body, whether they're curses, mental manipulation, or even simple levitation, will fail unless an aggressor uses enough mana to overcome this natural resistance. However, external effects caused by phenomena created from active mana, e.g., burning or freezing, weren't subject to this limitation.
Next, the book summarized Active mana. According to the book, the most essential type of mana for spellcraft was Active mana. Active mana has been elevated to an excited state and, as the term implies, actively influences the world around it. The spell symbols used in spellcasting systems worldwide cause a caster to mold and manipulate raw mana from their souls into an active state through the body. Then, when a spell is prepared, the caster unleashes the mana into a fully formed spell that manifests in the world's 'tapestry' - the fabric of reality itself, so to speak.
Active mana will naturally decay down to a raw state given time, but it could be held or locked to an elevated state with catalysts such as gemstones. If a spell's construction is poorly elevated by a caster, the spell's form may not correctly materialize. Worse still, it could take on a life of its own and have unpredictable effects due to minor syntax errors in the cast. Catalysts such as magic jewelry, wands, and staves allowed a caster to effectively brute force mana into an active state. However, that could be dangerous, as I'd discovered during the dungeon expedition.
Lastly, there was Stilled mana, a form important for spiritual arts, enchanting, barriers, mind magic, soul magic, and divination, among other things. Unlike active mana, stilled mana is in a constant, unchanging, fully-formed state. It is the most stable form of mana and the most difficult to manipulate. Spellforms that utilize Stilled mana are created by coaxing active mana into a stilled state and casting it into a sealed and stable form.
At least, this was all that I could gather from reading through the opening chapters. I was completely new to mana theory and spellcraft, but reading about this was beyond fascinating. In fact, I read every single word until my eyes were crossed to make sure I understood all the basics. I lost track of time and glanced outside after a while.
Sighing in realization, I prepared to go out for my first training run. Or rather, a training jog. I had to take baby steps, after all, and I was sick from being out of breath all the time.
With my thoughts set on running, I grabbed a couple of coins just in case and left my room. I sat down for another quick lunch consisting of bread, cheese, and fruit and washed it down with some water. After I finished up, I cleaned the table up and went out the back door.
I was greeted by the bright sunlight, and I blinked to adjust my vision. As I walked out, I could hear the sound of birds chirping in the trees—and a gentle breeze blowing across my skin.
It was quiet and peaceful, like waking up on Christmas morning. The feeling was incredibly soothing and pleasant. I walked past the fire pit we'd constructed last night, opened the fence in the back, and then made my way down the sloped hill to the meadows below.
The sunlight illuminated everything with a green and blue glow: the ground was covered with damp green grass, the trees were tall and swayed gently in the breeze, and I could even see some strange, white winter flowers here and there.
The wide, open field behind our house was Lori's preferred training place; it was large enough to accommodate more than one person, and she'd frequently practice her sword swings and footwork into the night. I panted and huffed as I jogged along, carefully looking for any obstacles or threats lurking in the bushes. Call me paranoid, but after what I'd been through, could you blame me? As I came around the edge of the field near the river, my chest pounded and screamed from the effort. However, I couldn't help but grin like an idiot.
I turned around, and began to do a lap uphill back toward our house — I'd already decided to take it slow. For now, the goal was to get in good enough shape to run at a decent pace. It was therapeutic, too; it felt nice to be outside running, especially after I'd been sitting down studying all morning.
Soon, I returned home after a nice, hour-long set of laps through the fields and meadows and promptly went upstairs. My legs were tired and sore from all the exercise I'd put them through, and my muscles ached and twitched every time I had to move. It wasn't too bad of a start, though, and I promptly went in for a long soak in the bath. When I stepped out of the water, feeling refreshed, clean, and slightly dizzy from exertion; there was still plenty of light left in the sky — which meant I had plenty of time to read before dinner.
With my mind set on getting a bit more work done, I hurried over to my bookshelf; and opted not to continue the mana theory book for today. Instead, I reached over for the introduction to self-defense magic book and flipped to the chapter about shields and defensive magic. As I skimmed through it, something caught my eye: it talked about "resisting" spells or curses by using particular Stilled mana charms or items that could repel, redirect, or prevent attacks from coming your way.
Now, that sounded pretty useful to me. These were also spells I could practice in my own room without worrying about blowing up the house. So I quickly picked up my wand — and started practicing casting basic shielding spells to test them out. The first spell I settled on was a simple "Mana Repulsion" spell. Its entry indicated that any spell that elevated a practitioner's mana to an active state would interfere with spell effects that affected them internally. However, a practitioner could also proactively use this spell to 'flare' their mana in directed ways to disrupt a rival's spellcasting.
My mind immediately returned to the time I'd returned to Halton from the capital. The spell and its practical effects were worth learning for me. I got up and stood in front of my mirror without my wand before taking a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. The more time I had to think about things, the more questions I had and the less I knew. I closed my eyes and focused on the mana inside myself. Then, I took a few deep, calming breaths and traced the spell in one go.
I could feel the mana flowing throughout my body. A sense of electric heat ran through my veins, like a surge of lightning coursing from the depths of my stomach. Then — A flash of silver light shot out of my body and into the air. The spell was so fast that it actually surprised me, but it didn't hurt. I could still see the spellform clearly for a second before it dissipated into motes.
Not only did I not blow up, but I was able to cast the spell flawlessly on the first attempt. That was a relief. But...
I scratched my chin in thought, and I couldn't help but think about my dream last night, and the time I'd met Lori's crew. My reflection of all things had yelled at me to 'flare my mana' — was the original Alice still in my head somewhere? If so, maybe I could find a way to talk to her and get some answers. I frowned as I considered the possibility but shook my head at my lack of knowledge. There was simply too much information missing for me to make any proper conclusions as to what happened, what was going on, and what I should do next.
For now, though, I needed to keep reading. I had to learn to defend myself.
I settled back into my chair with another book on self-defense magic and kept reading: practicing simple spells like 'Mana Repulsion' and 'Minor Barrier' to improve my casting time. When I was done with that—which took most of the afternoon.
It felt good to take control of something again.
And so, I was left with two books open in front of me for when dinner came around. It wasn't very long until the sun went down, though, and as the light started to fade, I heard a familiar voice enter downstairs and call my name. Lori came home from the guild, and I stood up immediately and headed downstairs.
As soon as I stepped through the door, Lori was already coming out of the kitchen with a basket full of tree fruits. She gave me a beaming smile, which, to be honest, was what I expected from her at this point, and I did my best to return it.
"Oh! You look like you're feeling better!" She exclaimed excitedly, dropping the fruit basket on the floor before scooping me up into a hug— "Widdle Alice has a spring in her step, even!"
I let out a sigh of exasperation as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug, lifting me in the air and squeezing me tightly.
This is my life now, I suppose! I thought wryly to myself while smiling at her. At least we could get along well enough to have fun like this now.
"Oi, give me some space, you big oaf!" I struggled and pushed myself out of her grasp, making us laugh simultaneously.
Lori grinned and tilted her head to the side in an amused manner. "Aww, come on, it's not that bad being held like this, is it? I missed you!" Her voice was filled with affection as she put me in a light headlock and gave me a light noogie.
I rolled my eyes and scowled at her, rubbing the top of my head as her knuckles left it. "Don't make it sound like we haven't seen each other in months! It's just been a few hours, and I'm hungry!"
Lori laughed and slapped my arm lightly. "Well, I can help with that, if you want."
There was a blur of motion, and then Lori had a set of three dinner trays in her hands. She gave me a grin and then set them on the table.
I stared blankly at her for a moment, then looked back to a set of dinner trays on the table with roasted meats, a rainbow of leafy vegetables, and something that looked like mashed potatoes. It was blue and looked halfway between pumpkin pie filling and mashed taro.
When did she? When did those?
Nevermind.
Walking to the kitchen, I grabbed a plate and sat down; Lori followed suit—though not before grabbing a bottle of wine and filling a glass. Of course, I stuck with some water. We ate quietly for a minute before Lori spoke up: "So, how are you feeling?"
I shrugged my shoulders and answered: "I don't know. I mean, I feel fine, I guess, I've been exercising and eating properly for a change, so I think I'm in a good place. What about you?"
Lori's expression darkened slightly for a split second before she smiled again. I noted the brief shift in expression as she replied, "I'm doing alright for now. I must admit I missed your company, little sis; you seem to be in high spirits, which makes me just as happy!"
I bit my lip, questioning that statement. After a short pause to think — and a quick glance out the window to check the time—I asked, "Did anything new come out of the guild today?"
Her expression fell, and she frowned as she leaned back against the chair, picking at her food with an air of contemplation. "Yeah, but it isn't good." Lori sighed softly as she looked back at me with a severe expression.
I felt my eyes go wide, and my eyebrows lifted in surprise.
"What happened?" I asked with a slight tremor, holding myself as still as possible though my heart was racing like crazy. Why couldn't this world drop some good news on us once in a while?
Lori's words seemed to echo in my ears before everything returned to normal.
"We got a massive damage report from the aftermath of the Knave's attack. It's pretty nasty, but let's talk about it later okay? Right now, let's eat up first and not get too far ahead of ourselves. Please help yourself — these are leftovers from the meeting, and they paid for the good stuff."
I picked up my fork and picked at some mashed not-taro. Forcing myself to calm down, I smiled at Lori before taking another sip of water.
I'd be completely overwhelmed if I overthought what was coming next and how it'd affect us. I needed to learn to relax again. After so much recent death and danger, all this stress had been getting to me. When did my life become like this? No. Don't even think about it that way— I need to keep going forward and focus on ensuring everything works out the best way it can.
I looked up at Lori and walked over to her, giving her a hug. Returning to my seat, we finished our meals together in silence. Afterward, Lori sat back and wiped her mouth with a napkin; her face was blank and unreadable as she stared into space, lost in thoughts of her own.
With nothing else to do but wait until dinner was over — or until she wanted to talk — I stood up. "Alright then." I chirped. "Let's just rest for tonight, alright?"
Lori blinked slowly for a moment before returning an exhausted smile: "Yeah... yeah..." She agreed weakly before she stood up, leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes. With a long sigh, she took a few steps, dropped onto the couch, curled herself on it like a cat, and went straight to sleep.
I felt myself frown and shake slightly at the sight of her lying on the living room couch. Shaking my head again, I levitated a blanket over her and tucked her in tight before I made my way to my bedroom upstairs.
It was time to get some more studying done.