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I, Criminal Mastermind!: The Lost Chapters
Chapter 32: "The battle best fought is the one your foes... are overpowered by a single girl"

Chapter 32: "The battle best fought is the one your foes... are overpowered by a single girl"

Everything inside became a mess for a round couple of seconds.

All six people stood still, staring as the seventh (and the biggest) fell back with a shoe-shaped mark planted on its face. Before the last bite of the glutton's pizza fell onto the acid embrace of gastric juices that inhabited his stomach, Mika was already using the built-up momentum to spin, gain force, and let yet another thug know the true taste of vulcanized rubber, with an extra of approximately three kilonewtons packed in a neat kick that sent him tumbling down the ground next to his companion.

That was around the time everyone broke from their trance and headed for Lawrence & Co. with the intentions of removing extra parts of their bodies. And to clarify, the were certainly not thinking about giving them a free haircut.

Lawrence jumped back, nearly tripping and falling with an empty can of fried potatoes, but magnificently hiding the fact. four ape-like silhouettes rushed for Mika, and the shabby, fat-sack-wriggling fourth one kicked his sorry excuse for a garden chair rushing for Lawrence. He sighed. It was true that Mika was on a higher priority in the target list, since she already took out two of them... but sending this one from all people to him? He was disappointed. At them, but mostly at the opinion these lowlife thugs held about him. He was sure he could easily make that guy trip and fall. Because he definitively looked like the usual mob who runs after you and trips with something. As in, identically so.

In fact, why not trying? It would save him the bother.

He looked at the stained, filthy floor, locking on that dastardly fried potato can. Humming carelessly, he calculated the... foe?'s estimated time of arrival (one of the advantages of being a programmer is that you get used to algebra soon, at least if you are good on it. Yes, did you think algebra was useless when your teacher spoke about those damnable x's and n's? Well, it's not just math teachers who have to learn that kind of stuff. So now you know.)

Thinking about the usefulness of applied algebra, he kicked the cardboard container absentmindedly. Said container described a parabolic trajectory before landing right in front of the chubby guy. In a single motion, the person in question landed a foot on the previously cylindrical, now slightly crushed can, slipping back and landing on the floor in an act which could only be described as the ultimate 'trip and fall' comedy routine. Lawrence couldn't help but admiring this guy's natural talent for acting as he mercilessly kicked him on the ground, strong enough to knock him out but not so strong he would suffer permanent damage. Surely. Probably. Possibly. Uh, Maybe...

He was sure he had done this somewhere else, but he couldn't remind where. He could find out later, though. It wasn't time to idle: Mika looked like she could use some help: though she was dodging most of the poorly thrown punches and kicks (it seemed these guys neither went to the gym nor knew anything about martial arts, they were just... kinda big) she was having a hard time counterattacking. It was still impressive, however, the way she could easily handle a bunch of older, bigger, heavier people. Granted, an orphanage wasn't everyone's dream house, but she learnt how to fight there. And fight darn well.

Lawrence would have to reward her in some way earlier. As of now, it was better to help her.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"I can't help but feeling bewildered. As lowlife as the lot of you might have been, I didn't take you for lady abusers. Is four brutes against a fragile girl your idea of a fair fight?"

Mika certainly didn't look fragile when she landed the mightiest hook Lawrence had ever seen in the chin of one of the offenders and made him the fourth sleeping through unnatural means in the room, but his words caused the desired effect nevertheless. One of the thugs stopped right on his track, letting out a screech of terror before bending backwards in an angle Lawrence was sure was slightly more than what the human spine was supposed to. Spectral chains of an eerie purple tonality appeared out of thin air, closing around the target and imprisoning him in mid-air.

One less.

Lawrence gestured Mika to fall back. She nodded and a burst of black mist embraced her silhouette before both dissipated in the air. There was a slight pop, and she appeared behind him with another burst of dark smoke.

"Well done, Mikaella. I shall handle the rest. Fetch Christiane and tell her to come. I should be done by then."

Mika spoke not a single word as she dashed upstairs. Lawrence grimaced: when he said 'I should be done by then' he wasn't thinking that Mika would run...

"But alas, what is done is done. Better finish this quickly then..."

The two foes left were around Lawrence's weight and size, if not a little more. They were still processing the fact that Mika was no longer then. Lawrence couldn't help but comparing them to what he assumed the bastard son of a drunken ape and a pig would look. Though he had no combat-oriented power, he was sure he could manage to do something...

Or, didn't he?!

He remembered something, and he couldn't help but curl his mouth up in a wide grin. His eyes gleamed insanity purple as he slowly closed in to the sorry excuses for two human individuals, his shoes clattering against the aforementioned filthy floor. Both brutes turned around and locked on him, in lack of another target.

Lawrence couldn't care less.

~Incomprehensible~

The world faded. Or rather, colors did. Everything merged in a cacophony of greys. Lawrence felt incredibly lighter, as if he had left his own body and was floating around as ghost. The thought sent shivers down his spine, and at the same time excited him. He was ethereal. Untouchable. Literally so.

Such a shame it would all end so soon.

The world seemed to slow down, and he was attacked by a feeling of omnipotence. Something was telling him exactly what to do. Probably his Evileye, he thought. Not that it mattered.

He grasped both of their throats and his hands became heavier as they materialized for an instant before leaving that plane of existence. One instant was all that it took for both of them to fall unconscious in the ground.

A second later, colors took back their original place in the kaleidoscope of dullness that was the world. Two hollow thuds told Lawrence not only that he had effectively neutralized the remaining two hostiles, but that their head was as empty as the statement of impossibility due to lack of evidence. Not that it was the smartest comparison he had ever done.

He clapped his hands as he looked at his foes. It pained him to consider such... persons an actual foe, but they were actually strong, peanut brain notwithstanding.

"I might as well hire a specialized team to deal with these messes I keep leaving behind. I don't think I can stuff nine people in my basement. My finances would certainly drop to bankruptcy, anyways."

He sighed.

Why was everything being a bother lately? Since the thing with the sewer explosion it had been one bloody thing after the other.

He massaged his temples. Not now. Mika was coming back with Christiane, he could hear them both already. This was a matter of another time.

Right now, it was time to find this...

Gallutneck.

He sighed again. What kind of name was Gallutneck, anyways?

"We will find out very soon."