Chapter 4

   So at this point We’ve been walking for what feels like forever but because I had to be curious I know by my calendar/clock display that it’s only been an hour at most. I seriously love these game like elements but they kinda sap the fun out of having exaggerated statements. It feels kinda wrong to claim to have been walking for forever when I can literally look at the clock and have it tell me that we’ve been walking for exactly an hour and fifteen minutes plus a dozen or so seconds. And honestly the fact that it can tell me exactly how long the walk to our destination will be based upon our current speed is kind of daunting.

  It hurts to know that at our current pace it’d take us almost a month in just walking. And considering we haven’t taken a break yet, I have no clue if that also included the time it will take us for sleeping and when we stop to eat.

  Which I could stop now if I really wanted to try out that theory, but honestly I didn’t feel tired at all. In fact I honestly haven’t even broken out into a sweat yet. This could be the influence of stats but I haven’t leveled at all so I don’t even know if my stats are any good. In fact I don’t even know what a normal person’s stats would even look like.

User’s stats are above the average for a normal human at level 1.

  You know I wasn’t expecting a response but seriously why are my stats above normal? Is it because I’m not from this world?

User is partially correct.

  Partially? What other reason is there?

Because was User was summoned by [@^&#!]], User received their basic blessings.

  Okay seriously. Who the hell was that person? It’s really starting to get on my nerves how I can’t even read their name because I sure as hell don’t believe that their name is actually that incomprehensible string of symbols. I can’t even attempt to say it so they will forever be hoodie guy in my head.

User does not have access to that knowledge.

  I hate them.

  I seriously hate them.

  I can’t even gender the person because they didn’t even have any clearly feminine or masculine features. And I refuse to misgender someone, even if they were a total fucking asshole to me and I seriously want to punch their fucking face in. 

  Fuck them!

  “Ouch!”

  I looked over at Sadie. “Babe? Why did you smack me? I didn’t think I did anything yet to deserve a beating.”

   At that she started to shake her head, “Yet? If you know I’m going to hit you because you’re going to do something stupid. Why are you even going to do it in the first place?”

  I Just stared at her straight into the eyes. 

  “I mean have you met me? I’m bonifide stupid. I can’t help but do things before I even have the chance to think about why the heck I’m even doing it.”

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  Her eyes narrow at that. “Yes and that’s why we’ve been talking about how you’re supposed to try and think. You know, use that beautiful brain of yours locked in that attractive head?”

  I can’t even help it. My shoulders have already started to shrug and now I feel like I have to go with the first response that came to my mind. “Sadie, we’ve been together for how many years now? If I was gonna change, I would have already. I don’t even know if I can change that part about myself. I do try to think every now and then before I take actions but when I’m excited or agitated like this I can’t help but fall back onto the act first, think second mindset.”

  Even if I wasn’t looking at her I just know her well enough by now to know that she’s begun to rub the sides of her head in exasperation. Of course, this is a conversation that we’ve had on repeat just about every other day so I know that she’s not actually mad at me over my idiotic lifestyle. If she was, we never could have gotten this far.

  After a moment of silence I asked,“So what actually got you to hit me?”

  Once she let out a small huff, she responded, “You had a really sour look on your face. I just wanted to get you to talk to me instead of churning up whatever weird thoughts that were going through your head.”

  AHHHHHHH!

  MY FIANCE IS THE CUTEST!

  HOW THE FUCK CAN SHE BE SO ADORABLE!

  …

  I probably screamed like that internally for minutes on end. Though to the annoying ass clock told me it was only a minute.

  Fuck you clock. My internal clock runs on turbo when it comes to praising my future wife.

  I don’t need your accurate and somewhat useful self.

  Wait!

  Please don’t actually go away! I was just joking. Learn to take a joke clock-san. (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ㅂ˂̣̣̥)੭ु

  Thanks for coming back clock-san~  Anyways. Onwards. Yes.

  Productive thinking initiating…

  “It’s okay Sadie. I was just talking to window-sama and learned that apparently I can’t know who the fuck the hoodied fuck is. They called themselves a lord but I don’t know what they could be the lord of what. A shitty personality? Sounds accurate. Hmph.”

  “Hahaha. Sama? Riley you’re so weird. And are you should be cursing like that to a god like figure? Are you not worried about them hurting you again?” At the end I could feel the slight worry in her eyes when she mentioned me getting hurt.

  I couldn’t help but be a little uncertain but, “I mean, I’m quite certain if they cared they would have already hurt me again. Obviously they had no problems doing it the first time but even after bad mouthing them with window-sama I still haven’t been injured again. Maybe they won’t hurt me until we finish the mission?”

  “That makes sense. I guess. But could you still at least try to hold back. I don’t want you to get hurt again just because you keep insulting a god.”

  “I’ll try for your sake.”

  How many times is she going to stare at me like that today? Why is even her angry face just so appealing to me I wonder? 

  “You mean for your sake right?”

  “Yep! Totally! Anything you say my love!”

  Yeah that definitely made her mad a little but she ended up sighing soon. “I know that it’s just lip service but you just made a promise so you better keep it okay?” 

  Oh no, I think she’s actually really worried about that hoodie god is going to hurt me again. “Babe. I seriously won’t insult them anymore okay? If its got you this worried, venting my anger like that isn’t worth making you upset.”

  Yeah to see that smile. I can endure not calling a certain hoodied figure stupid names. Honestly. Her smile is all that matters.

  I can give up cursing as much. It isn’t the most important thing anyways. While I do wish I could actually refer to that figure with a bit more ‘colorful’ vocabulary, I think something simpler will work. So hoodied figure it is.

  That’s just going to have to work until I figure out what they’re actually fucking called.

  So as we made our way to the lowest point of the mountain ranges around us. The rest of the walk to that point just being nice as we made small talk about the weirdness of the whole situation and what we wanted to do first when we got to our first town.