We sat for several minutes without speaking a word to each other, the only sound being us eating an apple each. My eyes were drawn to the flickering of one of the candles as I ate. Fire was a natural stimulus for many, and I was no exception. I was drawn in by how the flame would shudder with my every exhale. I wasn’t exactly a pyromaniac or anything like that, I just thought the orange color of the flame was eye-catching. It naturally drew my gaze, nothing more.

Before I had noticed, I had reached the core of the apple. WIth this, a conundrum was presented to me: where did I dispose of it? I was vaguely familiar with the interior of the church, but I didn’t know something so minute as where they disposed of their trash. In the end, I decided to just set it on the table and forget about it for now.

“Aren’t you gonna throw that away? Or do you not know where to, maybe? I guess you haven’t been shown around yet, after all!” With a quiet laugh at the end, Heira finished rebuking me for my decision.

“Well, you’re not wrong. I’ve got no idea where anything is yet. I think Father Korrinn was going to show me around in the morning,” I replied. “Mind showing me real quick? I feel bad just letting it sit on the table.”

“Umm…” Heira looked at me. I shouldn’t have bothered asking; she was still scared by the supposed ‘ghost’ that wandered around at night. I guess such a story is an effective measure to keep them from going out of their rooms in the dark, although it only worked when they had a working brain that dictated what they should and shouldn’t do.

Maybe that was a bit too rude. Heira was still a saint of the Church of Verus, after all. While I didn’t hold any particular reverence for anyone here, I still thought fondly of them to a certain extent. Those feelings may have eroded a little over the last year or so, but I wanted to get along with them in this life as best I could. Sighing, I picked up the apple core, stood up, and walked over to the front door.

Before Heira could say anything, I opened the door and tossed it outside on the grass, beyond the wooden fence surrounding the church. I closed the door back before sitting down on the couch again. Feeling refreshed a bit after eating, I extended my arms out a little, trying to stretch. Though in the end, all I succeeded in doing was exacerbating the pain I felt in my shoulders and arms.

“Oh, I guess that works! I should’ve considered that myself!”

“Yeah, you should’ve. I should’ve as well before just setting it down.”

“Mmm… Yeah, I guess so, huh?” Don’t agree with me like that, damn it. Didn’t I ask you to keep quiet? You’re still talking at your regular volume. Can you at least pretend to actually be scared by that so-called ghost? What’s even the point of you staying down here at this point?

“Heira, you should really go back to bed. You’ll be tired throughout the day tomorrow if you don’t get plenty of rest. I’ll walk you upstairs and keep watch so no ghost sneaks up on you.” I wanted to get rid of her, rather than sit here pretending to enjoy conversing about nothing. Bed is where the heart makes its nest, so stop being so insistent on staying up. For my sake if not your own.

“No way! I don’t wanna go back to sleep yet, it’s only like three o’clock anyways! I can stay up as long as I want! Well, as long as you don’t tell on me… Which I’m sure you won’t!” Why? Why does everything hinge on me keeping quiet about this? Could someone graft looser lips to my person? How the hell was she even putting such trust into someone she just met? Questions, questions, and more questions. Nothing is keeping me from just going upstairs on my own.

Besides my own pathetic need to protect.

“Fine, do what you want. But you need to quiet down, or you’ll wake someone up. I don’t mind keeping your secret, if only as a courtesy, but I highly doubt the priests would be happy to see you up past curfew.”

“Oh, yeah… Sorry, sorry…” With that, silence gripped the atmosphere once again. All I could hear was our breathing and the ticking of the wall clock. I had tried, and subsequently failed, to send her back to her room for the night, and I definitely couldn’t force her to go back. I wasn’t really sure what to say at this point, so I decided to forget the idea of conversation and grabbed another apple instead.

My eyes wandered to the fireplace opposite where I sat. Built into the opposite wall, its stone interior still kept a few pieces of firewood inside. A steel grate protected its interior, likely from the rascally hands of children that can’t control themselves. Though, I doubt there was a particular burn risk for the saints these days. Only young kids are stupid enough to stick their hands in fire, and the saints were already all teenagers, or close at least. My memory was foggy when it came to their ages, I’ll admit.

On the fireplace mantel was a drawing, completely in crayon, kept at the center. Eight stick figures stood in front of a large building, consisting of a simple square with a triangle on top, with smiles drawn on their faces. Two tall figures, with six smaller figures, barely reaching up to the others’ waists. They had slightly varying heights, but the tallest of the smaller figures only made it up to the stomach of the taller two.

I’m happy I can still make out details from this distance despite my regression. At least my eyes hadn’t gone to shit as well.

Turning to check on Heira, I saw that she was looking down the hall on the opposite side of the room, to the right. I decided to stay quiet about it, but I could assume that she was still scared. I wanted to give her a pat on the back to help reassure her, but coming from a stranger like me, I felt it’d only be perceived as creepy more than comforting.

Speaking of being a stranger, hadn’t she been far too trusting of me? She was a teen, so I was sure that she had already been taught by Father Korrinn to not trust strangers blindly, to be aware of your surroundings and the intentions of others when they spoke to you. Although she was a saint with genuine god-given powers, she was still a kid. Was it a side effect of growing up in the countryside?

Noticing she was still staring down the hallway, I decided to speak up.

“Heira. Is something wrong? Do you see something?”

“Huh?!” No, nothing’s there! Nothing at all! Umm, I think…?”

“You think?” Her choice of words confused me. Perceiving nothing out of the ordinary as I looked down the hall myself, I couldn’t understand why she kept staring there.

“No, just… I thought I saw something white earlier… Right around the corner.”

Could she see around the corner from there? I’d have to make note of that. She was sitting on the right end of the couch, while I was closer to the middle. From my vantage, I could only see halfway down the hall. It could never be bad to make note of the blind spots of different rooms,

“Hmm… Is that so?” Something white, she said. While I was as weak as a fly right now, I was sufficiently lacking in caution. I decided to check for her so she could stop worrying about it so much. “Wait here, I’ll take a look.”

“Umm, thanks… Sorry for troubling you…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Saying that, I stood up and walked towards the hallway. Although almost completely dark, save for the bits of moonlight that broke in through the windows, I focused my sight as much as I could as I walked down the hallway. I needed to at least look like I was taking this seriously to Heira so she would believe me when I came back.

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When it came to the Church of Verus, there was little that I wasn’t already aware of in the grand scheme of things. While I may not know much about the saints, it was my job as a paladin to be aware of every small detail about any building that the members of the church spent any amount of time in. Logically, this would even apply to their headquarters.

There was no ghost in the church. This was something I was certain of, after the six years I spent in this world. Ghosts themselves were far too rare, and one being on holy ground was close to impossible. However, that didn’t mean there was nothing here. I already knew what the issue was, but it wasn’t my place to say or do anything as someone who had technically just been magically transported here less than twenty-four hours ago. As it wasn’t currently my place, I ignored it. It was easy to pretend that things were fine, so long as you convinced yourself.

Lying to myself was as easy as breathing. However, in doing so, it was important to be able to remember the lies and the truths, even when I came to believe them. In that regard, they formed a dangerous dichotomy, splitting memories in half. The truths that happened in reality, and the ‘truths’ I fed to myself.

Creak. Creak. Before I realized, I had arrived at the staircase to the second floor. Above, I could hear the creaking of floorboards. I knew who was upstairs. Deep, deep inside, I desperately wanted to see her again, but I needed to refrain for now. It wouldn’t be a favorable meeting for me, so it was best to put it off. This was the burden of having memories from your past life, I suppose.

To want to see someone you regret the death of alive again. To see a smile on their face, after years without their presence. I had been able to indulge in this foreign feeling of warped bliss until now, to the point that I was content. And I—

Before I realized, I had gone up to the second floor. Noticing the situation, I grabbed onto the staircase railing, catching myself before I walked further in. I was starting to let myself go, letting my body take over for my mind. I couldn’t contain this squeezing feeling in my chest now that I had made myself aware of her presence, but I had to let go for now. A meeting will always come, so long as you desire it.

From upstairs, I heard the sound of a door closing. She was too hurried in her attempt to hide herself. If it were anyone else, the ruse would’ve been discovered and she would be forced into the light. Regrettably, I knew my place.

I headed back down the stairs. I had to forget everything that just happened. In my head, a grand recital began playing out. A sequence of resounding words, perforating my mind like bullets. Shouting up and down, they were engraved from my brain into my poor soul: ‘forget it all, and continue until the day your meeting becomes a necessity.’ That day would come. Sooner, rather than later.

“There was no one here,” I muttered. Copy and paste, until the memory is blotted. With blood cosplaying the guise of ink, I drowned out the past. Everyone I needed was here already. Everyone I had to protect was already in my sight.

Lie. Until it becomes the truth, lie.

Back in the common room, I gave a slight greeting, raising my hand a bit to Heira as I headed back over to the couch. “See? I’m just fine, so there’s nothing. You don’t need to worry so much.” I showed her my hands so she could see there was nothing wrong.

I couldn’t see anything ahead. Superimposed on my retinas was a face from my past. I felt stifled as the canvas I wrought in sorrow was conquered by viscous red life.

My apologies.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know… But, thanks! I feel a lot better now.” Giggling, her face looked like it was glowing with how wide her smile was. I couldn’t help but envy her, thinking of how my mouth continuously refused to budge from a rigid straight line.

“It was nothing,” I flippantly replied. All I wanted to do now was exercise a bit before morning, but I couldn’t just leave her alone. I would need to go up to my room to get started after all. For the meantime, I decided to try to come up with a conversation topic. There was no point sitting in complete silence now. I’ll admit, I was just starting to get a little bored.

“Heira, do you mind if I ask you some questions about… Well, everything? This world, and… Yeah. Everything, I guess.” I stammered my words out, unsure of what exactly I wanted to say.

The saints were very sheltered since coming here, interacting only with priests and followers of Verus. While they are still in training now, one day they would become the most important members of the Church in the eyes of the public. It was natural to keep them away from outside influence, to try and minimize any sort of negativity that might affect their development. Although that only called my admittance as a worker here even further into question.

“Sure! I can tell you anything about the Church! Or about Verus! Or maybe, if you have any questions about the nearby village, I could help there too!” It’s strange to think how this was the little gremlin messing with me just a while ago. She was like a completely different person in normal conversation.

“Sure, tell me about the village first. I’d like to know about our surroundings first. Who knows if I’ll need to go there someday for something.”

“Okay! Well, umm… It’s about a fifteen minute walk from here to this reaaaaally small village. I think there’s maybe ten houses there or so? Umm, and a few shops! Everyone there is incredibly nice to us, they come by to visit on Sundays to pray, and they’ll even bring us baskets of fruits and vegetables. Father Korrinn always tries to turn them down, actually, but they always push them into his hands! And—”

Listening to her talk so excitedly, I couldn’t help but feel content. Her wide smile revealed her unmarred white teeth.. Her hands excitedly flailed around as she explained everything she thought I needed to know about the village, trying to paint me a picture of just how everything looked the last time she had been there. About how they had stalls set up where people could sell anything they grew or made. About how the people were always so pleasant to talk to, how they always wore the widest smiles. She mentioned how there was a boy that seemed to fancy a fellow saint, Cleo, although she didn’t seem to like him back. She described how the wooden homes the villagers lived in, although old now, still looked so clean and pristine, as if the wood hadn’t aged a day from the time it was first built. Her eyes were shining brighter with every little thing she told me.

By the time I noticed, it felt like I was just hearing random gossip rather than actual information, but I couldn’t blame her too much. If I remember correctly, she should be twelve or thirteen at this point, so it’s only natural for her to not really think about what information I was actually looking for, instead choosing to simply tell me everything that came to mind. Before I let her go too far off-topic, I cleared my throat a bit.

“Oh! Sorry, sorry, I got a bit carried away, hehe. But you really need to see it for yourself! I’m sure they’ll welcome you with open arms! Although, uhh, maybe it’ll be better to keep it a secret that we summoned you ourselves, right? I’m sure we can just say that you’re a new priest-in-training or something! Yeah!”

She was making up my lies for me now? Did she just enjoy doing random nonsensical things or something? Ah, a stupid thought. Ignoring my stupidity, it’s not like I would really need to say anything about myself, assuming that I went alone. It’s easier to say I was passing through.

“I’m sure I can figure something out myself if I need to pay them a visit. It’s not like they’ll be hostile to some random guy passing through, based on how you describe them.” I shrugged my shoulders as I finished. I felt I had made sufficient small talk with her.

“I really think it’s time for you to head back to bed now.” I tried to emphasize my words, drawing them out just a bit. “You should at least get a little bit more sleep before morning comes. Seriously.”

“Well… I guess so. You said you’d walk with me upstairs, right? And there’s really no ghost?” Worry clear on her face, she questioned me once more.

“ I promise you, there’s no ghost wandering the halls. I need to go back to my room. I only came down for a drink and snack anyways, I’ve been down here a lot longer than I initially meant to.”

“Erm… Sorry about that! Hehe, but I’m sure you don’t mind, right? We had a lot of fun talking, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so. It wasn’t bad, and I learned a lot. So, thanks.” She giggled at my words as she stood up from the couch..

“Let’s go, then! Honestly, I’m… Haaaaaaah, feeling a little sleepy, now that I think about it…” I nodded to her, and picked up a lit candlestick sitting in a brass holder. Holding it in front of me, I stepped to the front and led the two of us upstairs.

On the second floor, I handed the candlestick to her, saying that I could make it back to my room in the dark just fine. She took it from my hands before continuing down the right hallway. Halfway down the hall, she turned to wave at me before passing the corner of the hallway, moving out of my sight. I stayed still for a few more minutes before turning away, walking down the left hall.