“Let’s die already. There’s nothing for us to do anymore. Do any of you really believe there’s anyone still alive out here?” I groaned. I didn’t feel like putting up with this farce anymore.

“You’re just looking for an excuse to kill us all at this point, aren’t you?” A young voice spoke out against my idea. How astute of you, noticing the oh-so-clever hidden meaning of my words. “Have you considered that maybe we just wanna keep living a bit longer?”

“I did. Am I supposed to care as well?” Tell ‘em. Then just kill ‘em. What’s the point of prolonging this shitty search? We’ll never find a link to what caused the chasm to appear. Just consider it a force of nature and die, damn it.

“U-umm, let’s not argue… And, well, you agreed to survey the continent as well, right…?” So the witch spoke.

It was hard to maintain my expression at her words. “I agreed, but that doesn’t mean I like it,” I muttered. I could’ve ended things earlier, or just died on my own, yet here I am. A fool, traipsing through deserted cities, hoping for the most minute of crumbs to follow to some hidden clue.

A clue that obviously didn’t exist, might I add.

“You don’t like anything! Hahah, but then again, it’s not like there’s anything left to like!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Hahah. Sorry, sorry. Let’s just finish up and decide what to do next! Maybe you’ll finally have a chance to end everything then!”

“Sure. Whatever.”

***

“Damn it, these shitty dreams…”

With a yawn, I drew my bedsheet closer to my face. Looking out the window, I could see the night had not ended yet. I had probably only slept a few hours at most, but it was about time for me to get started for the day.

The first step, to begin my personal training. Annoyed, I threw the sheet off me and groggily crawled out of bed. I stumbled a bit as I stood up, my legs still shaky and tight from the exercise a few hours before. Although I could barely stand to open my eyes beyond a slit, I couldn’t become lazy. I had four years before the chasm opened its maw again, and not long after would be the beginning of the end. In the time until then, I had much to do and much to consider. I could save all of that for later, however.

Right now was the start. I couldn’t get ahead of myself, this was the perfect time for setting the foundation for the future. And the most crucial foundation would be myself. I resolved myself to push through the next workout no matter what before lying on my stomach against the floor once again. Before I slept, I did thirty push-ups. Today will be forty.

“Hnnnngh… One, two, three—”

Disastrous. It was the only way to describe my body’s condition. I had already pushed myself as hard as I could before sleeping, and in that time I had barely rested. I hadn’t consumed any water, I hadn’t eaten, nothing had changed besides a short nap. I could feel my parched throat as it usurped control of my brain, begging me to head to the well and draw some water. I felt my body cry out in sorrow at how I had begun the abuse that I had barely escaped from in the past once again. I would love to respect my muscle’s feelings on this matter, but I was only just getting started sadly. I’d like to ask for you to continue putting up with my haphazard growth for a while longer, if you please.

I had changed in the past, but not the present. While I retained all my memories, and I could feel the marks left behind on my psyche by my past self, this body and brain itself were unfit. They did not know the pain I had gone through before. No, my memories could feed them the emotions from the time. But inevitably, they had not felt what happened those days. Memories did not cover the physical aspects of growth. As such, it had become my job at the present to make it known.

So I would make my body know.

“Twenty… Twenty… One…”

Sweat began to pool on my face, the temperature of my body had seemingly increased by five degrees in this short time. I pushed myself as hard as I could, continuing on without letting up for even a moment. My arms and legs felt like they were burning under the pressure. When my arms felt like they would collapse, I continued. When my legs wanted to buckle under the miniscule weight of my emaciated body, I continued. As strength left my head, as if my blood was evaporating from within, I continued. There would be no one who could stop me, so long as this was what I wished for.

My determination would be a rock, one that I would force on myself until it resonated with this fool’s body. For a moment, I couldn’t help but feel bad that my mind had become so alike that of my mentor’s, but I thrust that feeling to the back of my brain. There was no time for idleness, unless I wanted to see everyone die again.

Thi… Thirty… Five… Ugh… Kuek…”

And I collapsed. Before forty, I fell against the floor. I laid there in silence for several minutes, not a thought running through me. Finally, I stood up on my feet and opened the bedroom door. Ignore failure to pursue results. I understood this more than anyone, but I also knew there were certain things more important to a body’s healthy function.

My body and my throat were crying in unison. I was caving to my biological needs. They wanted some sort of sustenance, so I would grant it to them. Although weak in nature, I knew there was some logic to what they wanted. Without water, I would simply collapse and die. Without food, there would be no nutrients to promote muscle growth. Considering how little I had to drink so far, and the fact I hadn’t even had a meal since I was brought back to the past, I decided to capitulate.

After all, with the renewed vigor they would force upon me in their moment of glee, I would become the ultimate winner. With false life came false strength, and I would force that falsehood to become truth. You would fall to my knowledge, foolish body of mine. There would be no hope for you so long as I remained in charge of your functionality.

My mind renewed at my ridiculous thoughts, I headed downstairs to the common room. As I walked inside, I noticed on the counter there were approximately six apples lying in a small, woven basket. Grinning, having found my source of strength for the next stage of my training, I headed to the door leading outside and opened it.

Dark as it was, I could vaguely make out my surroundings. A stone pathway that led outside a small wooden fence lied straight before me, marking the road out of the church. High in the sky above me was the waning moon, a mere fourth of it lit, its dim light the only source to fuel my sight. Stars dotted the dark landscape above me, with a few clouds obscuring many from my vision. Their slow movement reminded me of myself, or more accurately my body, and the unwillingness I felt to continue marching. Yet time marched on, and such unwillingness brought about stubbornness. So we moved until we could no longer.

To my left a distance away was a wooden shed, its front left exposed to the wild with its missing door. Behind it would be the well I sought. So I moved. Passing by the shed, I took a look inside to see what remained below its rickety roof. Inside, there was nothing except a lacking wooden bench, cleared of any clutter whatsoever. I guess someone had moved the tools that were usually inside somewhere else, probably just to keep them out of the hands of the younger saints while the door was being repaired. As I walked along the side of the shed, I placed my hand against it, feeling the wood as I passed it by.

Finally, I had arrived. I stood before the stone well. I threw the bucket that was attached to a rope into the well before pulling it back up.

As soon as the bucket was in my hands, I drank from it until it was empty, then threw it back in. Repeating this a few times, I quenched my overwhelming thirst, wiping water off my face with my arm every time I let some splash against my face, as I quickly downed the water.

“Haaaah…” Feeling refreshed, I took one last look at the stars above before heading back inside. I had thought about sitting outside for a while, but the emptiness that remained in my stomach still needed to be sated. I had fulfilled one half of my body's necessary needs, so it was time for the other.

And so, stepping onto the front porch, I opened the front door to the church.

Click.

Rattle, rattle.

Hmm.

Rattle, rattle, rattle.

And so, I opened the front door to the church.

Ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-rattle.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Not good. I looked down to the floor for a moment and heaved out a great sigh before gently knocking on the door.

Knock, knock

I quietly sighed, preparing myself for what was to come..

“Excuse me. I seem to have been locked out. Could you please let me back in?” I spoke quietly, my face close to the door. Since it opened inwards, it wasn’t like it would slam in my face randomly.

“Heheheh… Shhhh…” From inside, I heard a high-pitched giggle, right behind the door I so greatly wished to enter through. At this moment, I hated my weakness more than anything. On any other day I could simply destroy the locking mechanism, or even go so far as to break the door down myself and claim it was a ‘necessity’ when asked. But right now, I had no power. Hell, I didn’t even have any strength to put into my body. If I looked at myself, tired as I was, I’m sure I would resemble a haggard corpse more so than any sort of living human.

“Please let me back in. I’m very tired, you know?”

“Heheheh… What- What’s the password, chump?”

…?

How… The hell was I supposed to know? I could feel my head start to hurt, having to play along with some shitty prank when all I wanted was an apple. Based on the voice, I already knew who the culprit was. While I would play my part in this theater of the minds, I would make sure to get my revenge on her.

‘Revenge against a child,’ you ask? Yes. Children needed to be punished so they knew who they could and could not mess with in life. While I wouldn’t be too harsh, I could at least scare her a bit with some baseless words.

“What’s the matter, chump? Ain’t got a clue, do ya?” Once again, I could hear her giggling. At least she was enjoying herself, I guess. “Heheh. Well, don’t let no one tell ya I ain’t ma… maaaaa… Magnaynimouse? Ehh, that word, kid!”

“What magnanimity could you possibly show me right now, as the one locking me out in the first place?” I pinched at my forehead. If I wasn’t careful, I’d end up with a headache to go with my muscle pain.

“Oh, umm…” She went quiet for a moment before continuing, “I know! I’ll give you a hint! I’m really good with riddles, so you just have to figure it out to get back in!”

I guess I’ll take it. I could choose to just bang on the door until someone else came to open the door for me, but I decided against it for now. I had always heard of this girl’s childish antics, but I was lucky enough to be far removed from this place for the vast majority of my tenure as a paladin. By the time I came back, I wasn’t a particularly approachable person either. Now that I was face-to-face with her trial myself, I decided to face it without fear.

Honestly, I just didn’t want to cause any issues on my first day. I had gotten out of immediately being carried away to the paladin barracks, I didn’t feel like screwing that up just because of a child’s prank. But that’s besides the point.

It was time to pave my path back inside, to the sweet apples that lie beyond.

“Alright, buster, listen up! So— wait, umm, how did it go again…? Right! Erm, don’t make fun of me for how I sound, I’m just repeating it, okay?” She cleared her throat, then continued. “When at sea, I serve as a guide. When on land, I light up the night. Yet though I am often left unseen, as moon crests the sky shall we always convene. What am I?”

Something from a children’s riddle book, I guess? It was a little cute. I pretended to think for a second, acting unsure. “Something like a lighthouse,” I answered?”

“Wrong! Try again!” Her voice was filled with glee at my wrong answer. I had made the right choice in pretending not to understand the riddle, simple as it was.

“Hmm. Wind? No, that doesn’t have anything to do with light. It’s not the moon either, since it’s mentioned in the riddle itself…” I let the silence linger for a moment longer, before snapping my fingers. “Ah!”

“The stars, right?” I gave my answer finally.

Click

The door opened in front of me. As it swung open, I finally saw the face of the culprit of the incident; before me was a small girl, wearing a huge grin on her face. Her light-blue plaid shirt and matching pajama pants were far too oversized for her small frame, to the point she looked like she would trip on the legs of pants. Her height barely matched up to my stomach, and her long, teal hair was tousled up everywhere. Her blue eyes looked like they would pierce through me with how bright they looked, despite the darkness of the house instead.

“You were really digging into the well earlier, Mister! Were you really that thirsty? You could’ve gotten some water from the kitchen!” She finished with a quiet giggle. I… had not considered that. I’ll just consider all this a tax for wanting to go outside for a bit, in that case.

“I was. I apologize for showing you such an appearance earlier. You, I believe you said your name was Heira, right? It’s a pleasure to properly make your acquaintance.” I gave a slight bow to her. She looked surprised, but I decided to ignore it and keep going for now.

“Umm… Yeah, sure. I, well, I was just getting up to grab a drink when I saw you outside from the window. But, see, when I saw you coming back, I got a crazy idea! No, wait— a genius idea!” Heira looked excited to explain what happened earlier, but she did know that all she did was play a basic little joke on me, right? Why did she have to look so proud of herself for something so menial?

“I see. In that case, you should head back to bed. The riddle was fun and all, but you shouldn’t be up right now, should you?” I shrugged as I spoke, before placing my hand against my chin, mimicking rubbing an invisible beard. “Am I right?”

Gulp. A reaction. It was all I needed. She looked away from my face, turning just a bit to the side. Let’s push a little more. “Hmm. Maybe, and I don’t mean to be rude when I say this, but are there no rules around getting out of bed at night? For you kids, of course. Obviously something like that wouldn’t apply to a grown adult such as myself.” I forced my expression to remain deadpan, but I couldn’t help but want to grin just a bit at her— Actually, it probably wasn’t even forced, considering my inability to make any expressions in the first place. Ignoring that, I knew how strict High Father Teres was about the saints being up at night. Though, I couldn’t blame him for it either. The issues that arose from being awake at night were something hidden from the kids, but real nonetheless.

That would be resolved soon, although I doubt their curfew would actually change just from that.

“U-umm… Noooo…?” She was a girl who couldn’t hide her expression no matter how hard she tried. I could see beads of sweat dripping down her face, even with the only light being that of the moon outside. “Nooooot at all… I mean…” Heira had turned her head even more by this point. She wanted to avoid my gaze at all cost, probably so I wouldn’t read her face. I don’t think she understood that it was too dark now to make out her facial expressions in the first place. Or, more importantly, that she was already being far too obvious in the first place.

I almost felt bad for her in a way. “It sounds like there might be an issue after all. Saint Heira, as someone who will be working within this church for an yet-undetermined amount of time, it’s in my best interest to look out not only for myself, but for you all as well. If you’re breaking rules so flippantly, I think it would be best for me to inform High Father Teres of what happened today.” My words, though spoken with a flippant tone, had a certain hint of harshness to them. Honestly, I couldn’t help but feel like I sounded a bit threatening. While that wasn’t exactly my intention, I could roll with it for now.

“Huh?! No, wait, waitwaitwait! Mister, you don’t need to do that at all! I mean, no, listen… The High Father wouldn’t care about this sort of thing anyways! He’s suuuuuper lax with us as long as we get good grades in Father Korrinn’s classes, so something like, uhh, like this… Yeah, he would just get mad at you! I mean, I don’t want you to get in trouble, since this is my fault! Let’s just let this go, right?”

I hadn’t expected her to be such a wordsmith in the face of punishment. I mean, she certainly wasn’t wrong in that he wouldn’t be too harsh on her, but he’d at least make sure to drill into her head the fact that what she had done was wrong. I could already read the apology letter she’d be forced to write in my head.

“I’m not so sure. Wouldn’t he want to know if you’re doing something you shouldn’t? I’m sure the High Father wishes to see you grow well, and a key tenant for living a happy and healthy life is to not do things that might put you in danger, right? And I’m only looking out for you with your safety in mind, so how could he possibly get angry with me?” A full counter had been executed against her.

So we both stopped speaking after that. Nothing more needed to be said, after all. In fact, the less the better. I wanted my words to sink in for a bit longer, to scare her just a tiny bit more. It’s not like it was anything serious anyways. One could even think of it as me playing a bit of a prank on her in return.

“No! Umm… I’m really sorry, please don’t tell on me… It was just a dumb prank, so please don’t tell him… I won’t do it again…”

I looked at her without saying anything as she finally turned to look at my face again. Heira must have wanted to gauge my reaction to her words, as she stared at me while fidgeting with her thumbs. Finally taking my hand off my chin, I gave her a contemplative look before finally speaking again. “Well… I suppose that’s fine then. It wouldn’t do me any good to get on your bad side, after all.”

“Yeah! We both did something wrong, so it’s fine!” Huh? The hell is she talking about, me doing something wrong? Whatever, not important. Let’s just put this to bed so I can eat already. I was tired of playing around by this point. My body felt like a sack of rocks from earlier. I could only think of the texture of apples now.

“Sure. Head back to bed then, okay?”

“Umm, but…” Still twiddling her thumbs, she trailed off as she began a rebuttal despite my overwhelming destruction of her narrative up to this point.

“Speak up. I won’t mind, whatever it is.”

“There’s… Well… I don’t want to go back up now… Since you reminded me of that…”

“That?”

“Umm… Do you know. mister? Apparently, there’s a ghost somewhere in the church… Supposedly, it only wanders around late at night, just like now. I’m, well…” As she trailed off again, I understood what the issue was quite clearly.

“Fine. You can stay down here with me, then. But I’d ask that you remain quiet, if possible. If there’s really a ghost, it’d be better not to make too much noise and alert it,” I said, completely ignoring the fact that we had been talking at a fairly normal volume the entire time. If there was any ghost wandering about right now, it would’ve easily heard us at some point or another. Better not to let her figure that, though.

“Thank you, thanks a bunch! Besides, I’m sure you’re really curious about the church and everyone, right? I can tell you everything, don’t worry! I’m reaaaaaally good friends with everyone, so just ask away!”

I don’t think Heira knew what it meant to remain quiet. Hell, I think she started talking louder at the end just to shove what I said back in my face. I guess it didn’t really matter in the end. I could just choose not to ask her anything myself. I gave a nod to her before heading over to the couch, grabbing an apple as I sat down. I lit a few candles that were sitting on the table to give us some extra light before sitting down and munching away.

Having accomplished my mission, I felt satisfaction well up in my chest. A good day always began with successful endeavors, so I couldn’t help but look forward to the rest of today. Just a little bit, at least.