I was gazing at the starry sky. I was tired from the years of effort. All the training I did and all the progress I made, is about to come into fruition.

But I questioned myself: “Why do all of this? Why can’t you live a normal and peaceful life? You have gotten a new chance so why not live the life you always wanted?” But when those typical questions come to my mind I just scoff. This is the life I want to live. A life full of progress, a life where effort is rewarded, a life where you can go past your limits and achieve immeasurable heights.

Why don’t I live a peaceful life? It’s because stagnation is a form of deterioration. To deteriorate is to become weaker and that is the opposite of what I want. I want strength, enough to control my life. I am tired of relying on luck and I am tired of being weak. The power to control one’s destiny and to control one’s future. Life is unpredictable and time is uncertain. The very nature of existence is to be chaotic, for what is life without surprises?

Those questions have long been settled. The emotions in my heart were stirred by the winds of change. And the wind brought the scent of power.

I never liked science fiction. Sure, technology is amazing and I want it, but power isn’t. People lose value as technology advances. Soon we will be meaningless. The only purpose left would be to answer the qualms of the rich. Life will turn into a dystopia and I saw it with my own eyes. The planet I once called home was going through massive changes. The waves of new technology gave ideas to the unstable people in charge. Not wanting to lose their positions they held to them even at the cost of humanity. Even a single bad person in charge could ruin the world, so what would hundreds do? Tensions were great and the comfort technology brought only resulted in greed for more. Earth would have probably died long before it actually did. It was a miracle it took so long. And the only reason why, was because of the desire to develop more technology. As if nuclear weapons weren’t enough, humanity continued towards the path of destruction. Nukes became meare jokes before the truly powerful weapons. Nuclear fusion became so widespread that a slightly talented mechanic could turn a nuclear fusion power plant into a devastating bomb that could decimate the surroundings.

Technology and humanity were always divergent. As long as humans were behind the wheel, technology would only lead to destruction.

Another thing was about mechas. When I turned 30, the world was introduced to mechanical suits capable of many things. They weren’t used for combat since they could get obliterated by a single turret attack and there exist far better alternatives compared to the inefficient mechas. So they turned it into a sport. Giant robots would fight and compete. The people went wild when they saw people piloting them. The most popular was air combat. Dogfights between people using borrowed power. Yes you heard right, borrowed power.

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The power wasn’t theirs and it never was. It could be as easily taken away as it was given. No matter how much you train, a single person could press a button and you would lose it forever. Unlike personal strength, which was earned, technological strength was given.

There were many more questions but all of them got answers. I wanted to truly know myself before gaining power. I wanted to know how it would change me, for I was afraid of changing who I am. I always liked introspection, if for nothing else than for entertainment. I wanted to put myself in scenarios which wouldn’t be possible on Earth. I wanted to know how I would act.

In a blink of an eye, a week passed. It was time. I prepared everything. I told anyone and everyone to not disturb me. I had long got the nickname “crazy monk” because of all the strange running and meditations I did. But I didn’t mind. Tina knew what I was going to ask before I even spoke a word, so she just let me go. She hugged me one last time before I went into seclusion.

I spent another week preparing everything. I brought enough water to survive, enough food to not die of hunger and enough patience to last a lifetime. I entered a peaceful sleep knowing that soon, my dreams will become reality.

***

I woke up the next day refreshed. My subconscious was tingling in excitement. My whole body was influenced by my emotions. I took a meditative stance preparing for the most exciting day in both my lives.

Hours passed unknowingly and my body started to fill up with energy. It wasn’t nearly as fast as before but that was the point. I wanted to use my own aura to break through. Aura fermented within me to resonate with my mind and body.

I fell into a trance. I didn’t know how long I stayed that way. My mind was at peace and the sounds of rain calmed me down. My heart was as calm as an ancient lake. Time passed slowly as I felt power within me rise. When I could hold no more, I opened my eyes and proceeded with the plan.

I slowly released the built up pressure through my back where the first major nexus opened. Everything proceeded as planned as the shell around me cracked in a controlled manner. It was deliberately designed to have imperfections so I could control the cracking.

But something unexpected happened. A lightning bolt hit me. I swore loudly but it wouldn’t help. Due to my extensive training, I was mostly unharmed but the ear piercing sound disturbed my meditation. For an instant my focus slipped. But an instant was enough. A massive amount of aura gushed out from my back, but I quickly suppressed it. However the damage was done. My whole back hurt, but I managed. I spent a few more hours slowly breaking through the shell. What was done was done. Luckily, the only part affected was my back. Sharp pain reminded me of the mistake I made. But there is no crying over spilt milk. The instant I fully broke the shell, I started fainting. The mental pressure was overwhelming. And so, I collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.