It has already been a month since that day, yet my mind is still plagued by the memories. This wasn’t my first kill, nor was it the hardest. It was just the most visceral. And well, it was the first time I killed a human. My first kill was a rabbit-like creature. I slit its throat and left it to die. The action felt personal somehow, the knife giving a sense of intimacy. Shooting birds with a bow was much easier. Just let go of everything and the bird is dead. A knife forces you to feel the squirms of the victim, the reluctance to die and lastly acceptance.

But 17’s death was swift and painless. There was no resistance, only acceptance. Killing in the heat of the moment was easy, but doing the same while staying calm was hard. One abrupt action and it’s done, but doing it knowingly is a different story. Sometimes, control is a curse.

Maybe I would feel better if I was actually hurt from it? Instead I just feel empty. I need to take time to get over this. I would be foolish to think that this is the last time I will have to do something like this. It is just one of many. One of thousands, one of millions. I cannot let this bottle up inside of me and corrupt my spirit. It might hurt right now, but it will pass and I will feel better. In the end, it will only make me stronger.

Slowly, the sky was filled with clouds, overshadowing the sun, falling behind the horizon. It began to drizzle, before strong winds picked up and stirred up the sea. Strong waves hit the island, as a storm erupted. The majestic sounds of lightning echoed through the endless skies, as they lit up the clouds. The chaotic clouds, filled with shapes and patterns were like the gateway to eternity. Yet being so impermentant themselves.

I look up at the flashing sky in contemplation. I let the rain pour over me, as the rumblings of thunder shake my very soul. This planet is far larger than Earth, tens of times larger. So what happens with the atmosphere? Is it the same thickness as on Earth, or different? How does it affect the weather? Who knows.

What about the Dark continent? The known world is gigantic, yet it is but a grain of sand, resting in a pond, but even the pond is just a puddle before a majestic sea. So how many bizzare creatures are there? In the known world alone, there are probably hundreds of areas that house even the strangest of existences. But what kinds of power do they have? If there are experts like Netero on this speck of dust, what kinds of calamities are out there? I refuse to believe that the chimera ants were the strongest. Even Nanika probably wasn’t. The world is far too vast for it to be the case. And I am far too weak to achieve anything in the death trap known as the Dark continent. I need allies. Preferably allies that I guide to be like me. When humanity has no other enemies, it itself becomes its own greatest foe. And my previous world was the result. Petty squabbles that could be resolved in an afternoon doomed it. But alas, it was not to be. Humanity’s greatest strength is its only flaw. We can learn, adapt and overcome any challenge, we can prosper as a species, but when there are no outside forces to overcome, we face the only thing remaining - ourselves.

After the massive increase in population starting in the 20th century, things only went downhill. Humans became connected in ways never before seen. The influence of a single person was no longer limited by distance. And this gave rise to great ambition. To rule everything and to command everyone.

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We, as a species, no longer had time to adapt to the growing numbers. Laws could not be modified in time and the people in power liked their growing influence. They guided the development towards their best interest. But in doing so, they stripped most people of rationality. Most no longer had the energy to think, to understand the future, to see where the bumpy train ride was going. People lost control of their lives, so instead of hoping for improvement, they hoped for stability. They dragged others with them, until they were nothing more than glorified cattle. We spend the first third of our lives learning how to live it, the second practising what we were told and the third regretting it all. We slowly live out the rest of our days sick and tired. The scariest thing is that most don’t realize it. They don’t realize the absurdity. They don’t realize the meaninglessness of their lives. How did you help humanity when you spent your whole life pursuing a career? What have you left behind besides a better future for your potential offspring? And then you hand your position to them and the cycle repeats, dragging humanity deeper and deeper into a hole, from which it is nigh impossible to escape.

And so, when I reach the peak of power, when nothing could threaten me in the known world, I will change it. Change it for the better. This world will become unified, all will live with pride and there will be no suffering. Or at least that is what I aim for.

Nevertheless, I am a selfish person. Yes, even if I gained nothing, I would still try to do something about it. But why would I throw away such massive amounts of time and energy with little returns? If I am doing something, I should at least try to profit out of it. I will unify the people, but they will be unified under my banner. Sometimes, democracy is a curse. When people don’t care or have the energy to think, they become irrational. They come up with stupid ideas, stupid notions, stupid trends and stupid mindsets. And the masses are what determine the future of a democracy. Sometimes, a totalitarian regime is the most viable solution. Too many people have too many conflicting interests. And I am aware of it. If needed, nen can be used to ensure the development. I am still unsure, why don’t the leading factions create a perfect ruler, a perfect commander and a perfect guide to the people. A thing that is fully focused on managing its subjects. It would be a truly just ruler.

Monsters are created, not born. And if the world is ideal, the people observed and the issues solved, would there be no monsters? No crime? No injustice? Would there still be crime? Crime is most often born of desperation. Is there a need for desperation? I will not allow it to exist in the new world.

And so I will make the full use of humanity. I will unite them under my ideals. The world will value intellect, strength, skill and wisdom. All will have powers beyond their wildest dreams and all will contribute to the same goal. To unify the omniverse. And even if just a tiny fracture of their power is dedicated to their beliefs, a tiny fracture of trillions is more than a single person can accomplish. With the combined power of humanity, stars could be harnessed, galaxies populated, universes conquered and suffering extinguished. And all that power would be mine to command. To help me grow, to help me stride onward. There would truly be no such thing as unreachable, for I will reach beyond the stars.

But all that is far in the future. Right now, I need to grow in strength. And personal strength is just the beginning. Creating an alliance of like minded people would be next. But an alliance can fail, but my plans will not. I will raise the next generations, raise them how I genuinely think a mind should be raised. The way I would raise my own children. For we would be family in all but blood.