A team from a research vessel dug into deep-sea trenches and discovered an unknown fungal substance, and brought it up ...

On testing, they revitalized dormant microbes, which survived a remarkable amount of time, back to the dawn of early humans.

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They celebrated their possible discovery for life extension.

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Sometime during early human evolution:

Gootahex mixed a strange fungus with his blood and set it overnight.

In the morning, some tribal members touched the fungus, and it consumed all their flesh.

Gootahex sealed the fungus in a container and tossed it into a river.

Gootahex decreed no touch of fungus.