The sizzling of the grill was way louder than it seemed just a moment ago. Shum Deil looked ahead without the need to actually look at anyone in particular. All eyes of his tablemates gathered on him. He did not care about the two at the other side of the table, but Sae’s gaze amassed into something almost palpable. Coincidentally, he sat the closest as well.
After a beat, Teo coughed and tried to pretend it was a laugh. Still, no one said anything.
At that moment, a young part-timer came to save their table, bearing a few dishes. He was a university student with glasses and a warm smile, helping out twice a week. “Boss said to bring these out first.” He put the plates in the middle of the table. It was an easy skillet dish of fried vegetables, oily and sprinkled with roasted sesame, with crispy flatbread on the side.
The young man clapped Teo on the shoulder, “Heard about your scores, dude. Congrats!”
“Thanks.” Teo was familiar with most of the outside staff at his mother’s restaurant and on friendly terms with a couple of them too. Most of his family worked there with a change of young students helping out.
“What else would you like?” the part-timer asked, pulling a box of utensils from the counter. He put it on the tabletop and glanced at each guest to indicate they could name their order.
“Double roasted fish,” Emi said without thinking. It was her favourite, after all.
“Chewy egg noodles with braised pork,” Teo followed suit. “And bring two plates of dumplings as well. Sae?”
Sae wasn’t paying attention, still trying to steal glances at the boy sitting next to him. He agreed, “I’ll take the braised pork too.”
Now the young man turned to Shum Deil.
Deil said, “I’ve already ordered. I don’t need anything else.”
The young man nodded, and Teo stood up. “I’ll bring something to drink.”
The two turned and made their way to the kitchen, chatting along the way.
----------------------------------------
Now Teo really did it. Emi wanted to go to the restroom since they had arrived, but then they ran into Shum Deil, of all people.
Emi knew that Shum Deil had not tried to pester Sae since the start of school. Still, she felt protective of him.
She figured, even if she went to the washroom, it would be okay. With Teo there, the two would not be left alone. Teo could keep an eye open and be a buffer between the boys in case anything happened.
But how could she leave now?
----------------------------------------
While the little girl was occupied by her thoughts, Sae leaned a little closer and asked the one sitting beside him, “Doesn’t your face hurt?”
Shum Deil involuntarily put a hand to his cheek. His knuckles were scraped raw, the skin dirty and a bit bloody. He mumbled, “It’s alright.”
Emi could not take it anymore. She didn’t pay attention to the two boys and hit the table with a palm, “I’m going to the restroom.”
The boys flinched at the sudden sound and looked at the little girl like she invited them to go together.
“So?” asked Sae with some difficulty.
Emi sent him a meaningful glance. “Don’t...” fight, she wanted to say, but the words stuck in her throat as she turned to Shum Deil. The boy sat with eyebrows raised high. Emi did not want to look at him; she found his current appearance too fierce.
“Uh... Nothing.” The little girl stood up and fled to the washroom.
----------------------------------------
Sae followed Emi with his eyes until she was out of sight. He picked up a crispy flatbread and crunched on it while he leaned back. “Why did you fight?”
Shum Deil looked toward him with an expression like he could not understand why Sae would want to speak to him. “Don’t you hate me?”
“Why should I hate you?”
Shum Deil did not answer. His question didn’t get a reply either, so...
Sae finished his third flatbread and brushed his fingers together to sweep off the crumbles. “You should go to the clinic,” he pointed at the cut on Deil’s nose.
Shum Deil curbed the impulse to touch his nose. “That’s not necessary. When I get home, I’ll treat it. It’s pretty numb, so I don’t really feel any pain.”
This face of Shum Deil... was hard to look at. Sae, no stranger to bruises, felt his chest tighten for a moment. There was also the subjective opinion of Shum Deil not looking half bad while having this rough concept.
Sae hummed, watching him. After a stretch of silence, he spoke up. “You should give me a reason.”
----------------------------------------
“What?” Deil was in the middle of getting himself a glass of water but put the pitcher back on the table.
“If you explain what happened, I can decide whether to hate you or not. I’m not so childish as to blindly hate anyone without knowing the whole situation.” Hoh Saering reached for the pitcher and poured himself a drink, his third finger stained with ink.
What was this situation? Deil could not decide what Saering wanted from him. When they last spoke – when he tried to talk to Hoh Saering, months back, the boy left without a word. After that, he ignored him – like Deil did not exist.
Up to this point, Deil had held his distance because he was sure the other could not stand him. Now all of a sudden, he needed to clarify why he did what he had done.
“Does it really require an explanation?” He gazed at Saering intently, finally daring to look straight at him.
“Of course. You couldn’t even look me in the eyes up until this moment. You didn’t want to hurt me.” Hoh Saering took a sip but still did not get a response. He remembered something else. “Why did you send me my phone then?”
Deil’s brows creased. It was a deliberate move, not a natural reaction. He thought back to the note he sent with the phone, and a shade of pink at the roots of his ears betrayed him. “I don’t need other people’s possessions.”
----------------------------------------
Sae shook his head. “But it wasn’t with you. You went back to find it, right? Why did you write me that note?” He looked to his left, right at Deil, who appeared to be angry again.
Their emotions changed upon the second, mirroring and dodging each other’s.
Shum Deil sneered, “Didn’t anyone ever say you’re too smart for your own good?”
Sae got so agitated he wanted to laugh. “What about you then, first in school?”
----------------------------------------
Teo wasn’t so foolish as to leave a potential warzone. But the moment he heard his mother address Shum Deil with familiarity, he knew he had to investigate. Fortunately, with Emi there, he did not have to rake his brain and come up with an idea of how to leave the scene that was unpredictable and prone to accidents. There were a lot of people around too, and that played to his hand as well – all the more witnesses.
At the rear of the little restaurant, beside the kitchen and storage room, a back exit led to a tiny inner courtyard. The neighbouring shops all shared that courtyard at once. Teo made his way around the empty crates on the floor. He found his mother speaking on the phone. When she saw him, she waved to wait until the call ended. The youth squatted on a crate and watched on with limp eyes.
A few minutes passed before his mother turned to him. “What are you doing here? Leaving the others alone… is something wrong?”
“Not really,” Teo rubbed his hands together. Water still dripped from the edge of the roof, so he played with it, trying to catch the drops of misty rain. “Mum, how well do you know Shum Deil?”
His mother laughed. “That boy? He comes by in the evenings, but not every week. Nice kid, just always alone. I try to talk to him when I have time. He once said his father is busy with work and can’t always make it back for dinner. Why?”
Teo digested this without saying anything.
Mrs Bede craned her neck and narrowed her eyes at her son. “Are you not close? I thought he was your classmate.”
“No, he’s not. But we kind of know him.” Teo stood up; he had been taller than his mother since he hit thirteen. Now he tilted his head and looked down into her eyes. “What’s your opinion about his face?”
The woman shrugged. “Not my business. Boys are reckless when young. Are you angry because I put you all at one table?” She shook her head and continued, “Young kids shouldn’t be so picky. What to do? You saw that there are barely any seats available. Besides, Emi’s eating with you as well, isn’t she?”
Teo did not want to go into detail about why the two things were anything but similar. He said, “Whatever. We’ll make do.”
“Boss! We need you,” one of the men working in the kitchen poked his head out of the door – he was Teo’s first cousin once removed from the paternal side. “Oh, hi Teo!” he greeted. His expression turned a little lazy. “How’s it going?”
“Good. I came to eat with friends. Uncle’s working tonight?” Although the twenty-something adult was eleven years younger than Teo’s father, Teo still called him Uncle.
“Yeah, I rushed in as cous is off today. Which table are you at? I’ll make sure everything is extra tasty tonight.”
Before they could chat it up further, the lady boss put an end to things. “I’ll be back in a minute. Go, keep an eye on the kitchen.”
Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.
“Aye...” Little uncle nodded and walked off.
After the man left, Teo asked, “What about dad?”
“He’s out for delivery. One of the suppliers crashed his truck, so your father went there instead. He should be back by now,” his mum said, “If there’s nothing else, quickly go. You see how busy I am.”
“Okay... Mum,” Teo turned back before going inside. “I’ll pay for Emi’s share.”
His mother hit him on the shoulder while chuckling. “Get out of here. Like I would accept money from you.”
----------------------------------------
Emi ran into Teo on her way to their table. In the narrow corridor, the two mutually froze the moment they laid eyes on each other.
“What are you doing here?” hissed Teo.
“I went to the restroom, okay? No one said I’m here to babysit fifteen-year-old boys! You left before we could strategise, and I really had to pee.”
The boy pulled a face. “Couldn’t you have wai–”
Before Teo could finish, Emi pointed at him with an emerald painted finger. “You’re not going to tell me when to go and pee!”
This line, coming from a few years younger girl in the middle of the hallway of his mother’s shop, loud enough to hear with a good ear and close enough to potential sources of varying types of danger, effectively shut the teenage boy up. Teo put an awkward hand on his hip while he raised his other palm to indicate in the direction of their table, “So what about them?”
The pair tip-toed to the corner of the caramel coloured hallway and sneaked a peak. Like in a bad TV show, one stooped down while the other stretched his neck above her. Out in the main room of the restaurant, Shum Deil and Sae were still sitting on the same side of the same table. They not only sat like normal people, but they were even talking!
Teo and Emi: “!!!”
It did not look like friendly talk, but they weren’t acting like the assailant and victim of an accident either. Shum Deil was not wearing his uniform, and his casual clothes with that bruised face and those eyes made him look more mature.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” asked Teo in a low voice.
“How would I know?” Emi curled her fingers over the edge of the wall. “I don’t like this guy. He’s always on his way to trouble, making a mess and pissing everyone off. At times, he doesn’t seem entirely normal. I’m not saying he’s evil, but I really want to say my piece to him. He thinks he can do whatever he wants just because he’s smart...” Of course, what Emi meant was the never-to-be-mentioned incident. It vexed the little girl. “He’s not nice or good-looking at all.”
After a brief moment of idle watching, Teo wondered, “Do you think they’re talking about the mid-terms’ ranking?” Shum Deil had come in first in the mid-term examinations, exactly like he did at the end of the first semester. The only difference was that now, as it had been the second time, no one was half as scandalised by the outcome.
Emi’s eyes rolled up. “I’m starting to fear you. Is there nothing else in that head of yours?”
“…..” All of a sudden, Teo pushed the girl’s head aside, “Your stupid hair is in my mouth!”
It did not take a moment, and the two almost started fighting. Emi’s mind was still on track, though. With the heel of her palm, she pushed Teo’s chin all the way up and said, “Get some soft drinks and let’s hurry back!”
The boy took the drinks, but before they made their way over, Emi tugged at his sleeve, “Don’t ask something stupid like whether they were talking about exam rankings and such, okay?”
Teo brushed her off, “I’m not a dumb idiot!”
That being taken care of, they approached the table. Coming closer, they saw that Shum Deil’s mouth was in a sneer, and Sae’s eyes were a bit cold.
“Everything’s good?” asked Teo, obviously going for an air of carelessness… but it came out a bit strong and sounded quite unnatural. Emi wanted to hit him. She closed her eyes, a sigh escaping her lips.
Sae broke eye contact and grunted once. Everyone sat down. Since the boys did not cooperate as Teo expected them to, he became embarrassed. “Haha,” he flailed his arms and put the bottles down. “Your drinks.”
----------------------------------------
Mrs Bede watched the kids eat from the doorway. They had a good appetite, but an undercurrent of tension hugged their table. In all the years she ran this small shop, Teo’s mum had seen and met a lot of people. She could tell at a glance what kind of dynamics a group held between them. Currently, what she saw were reluctance and wariness – an inclination to keep one’s distance from another.
She knew her son well enough to pick up on the small movements Teo made when he didn’t know what to think of someone’s disposition or how he should react to them.
At first, when he came to talk to her, she suspected the reason to be the little girl, Emi, but that proved to be a false alarm. Instead, her son started asking questions about the other student, Deil.
Mrs Bede told the truth. She did like that boy. Although he seemed wild, he was someone known for good manners and a much more innocent heart than it looked at first glance. Being a teenager, Teo was bound to feel awkward around certain people. What surprised her was that the one to make him so cautious was this kind of person. She could not fathom the reason behind it.
----------------------------------------
The atmosphere in that tight little circle became a mix of different feelings. Emi and Teo sat like stone figurines at one side, ladling food into their mouths. They talked between themselves in hushed tones, glad for the din of the shop to mask their words.
Earlier, Teo had tried to engage Shum Deil and Sae in various topics, but his attempts failed miserably. The muted feelings of the two were difficult to guess. Sae was a headache to read on a normal day, not when he purposefully shut down. In addition, Teo did not know Shum Deil well enough to try and decipher his behaviour. So, to say the least, it became awkward in no time.
On the other hand, right when Shum Deil considered saying something of significance to Sae, their tablemates came back. His sentences got stuck in his throat, not going up or down. He was demoted to gazing at Sae a few times, all the more conspicuous.
Surrounded by this from all sides, Sae felt a headache coming on. Shum Deil was here, albeit beaten up. When Teo jokingly asked whether he fought with the same high schoolers that got him into H Junior High, Deil did not give a reaction. At that instant, something coiled tight within Sae’s chest.
Following that, they were left alone, but he did not get a single answer to any of his questions. That baffled Sae and made him a little angry.
Adding oil to the fire, Teo and Emi were now staring at him and Shum Deil while speaking in soft tones. Deil also stole glances his way.
Sae could not wait to finish this meal and go home.
----------------------------------------
Three days later, Sae was on his way to the stationary store when he saw Monori at the entrance of an apartment complex in their neighbourhood. At first, he gave a cursory glance and was about to walk away, but the fleeting memory of those bruises beside Shum Deil’s eye made him stop in his tracks.
Sae was not someone who dwelled on insignificant matters concerning other people’s lives. He always believed in clear boundaries and knew what his business was and what was not. But for the first time in many years since he had made this conduct, things started to blur. He was no longer so sure of himself.
On this early spring afternoon, the weather was nice and clear – really at odds with the confusion in Sae’s mind. Kids jumped and ran around unguarded and joyful in the nearby park, their screams floating in the air like the spirited pitches of an oriole.
A warm breeze caressed Sae’s bare forearms as he stood still, not moving a joint. He stayed at the same place for so long that Monori noticed him staring. With quickened steps, Sae called for the boy and went to him.
They exchanged casual greetings then Monori asked, “What up? Yo, you no longer have casts and all.” He grinned at Sae with ease. His hair had grown out a bit, and it was freshly washed. Looking at him in a simple shirt and jeans, he seemed like a respectable young man.
The last time they met, it was still cold enough to wear jackets. Under the sleeves and extra layers, it wasn’t easy to detect whether Sae wore a cast or not. Now it only took a glance.
The boy continued asking, “Must be comfortable, right?”
Sae nodded, deep in thought. It wasn’t simple to bring up what he wanted to know without seeming like a weirdo. “So here’s the thing,” he started, “That time, over Christmas, we met at the internet cafe...”
Monori’s grin faded a breath, his eyebrows pulling together a portion, but he kept on listening with rapt attention. “…Right. So?”
“That time, your brother had been there as well––”
It was like Sae dropped a stone into a pond, disturbing its still water – the grin completely slipped off Monori’s face. “What did the little brat do this time?”
“Nothing.” Sae shook his head, a bit impatient, and waved him off. “It’s about his friend, Shum Deil.”
“Ah,” Monori’s features loosened up. “What about him?”
“I ran into him a few days ago, and he was a bit roughed up. Said he fought with those high school boys again.” Sae left out which high school boys. It seemed more natural if he didn’t outright ask about every little thing, as if he knew bits and pieces himself. This way, Monori wouldn’t send him straight to Shum Deil, thinking he was too enthusiastic to talk about others behind their backs. Sae asked, “Was your brother there as well?”
Monori sighed. “You don’t know them, do you?” He specifically heard about these happenings some days prior, all thanks to his brother. Monori rubbed the back of his head. “Shum Deil, ah. I really don’t get that kid. So arrogant, but for what? He’s just a child, still wet behind the ears….”
Not a word left Sae’s lips. Monori took out a pack of gum and popped one into his mouth. “Sorry for not offering, but it’s nicotine gum.”
Sae inclined his head and looked down with a faint smile.
“You know, those guys aren’t one to mess with. Lennox and his boys, I mean. We go to the same school, so I think you get the picture ... I heard Deil got into a scuffle with them for the first time way back before winter. That’s why he got transferred. The next time was your accident.” Monori looked at Sae meaningfully. “When we met at the PC room, I did not know yet what had transpired. Your arm and leg… that had been Deil.”
Sae took a deep breath and put his hands into his pockets. Even though it had been a few months since he heard that question, he was tired of people asking the same thing. But this time, Monori didn’t ask. So Sae didn’t need to reply. “Were those guys there as well?”
Monori nodded. “Sinnie said two of them were eyeing to run you over.”
That did not come as a surprise. First, Shum Deil warned him. Then something huge almost happened, and after the accident, nothing else did. Hearing that Shum Deil tried to protect him in that situation, that his intention was not to hurt him, a twisted kind of gratification wormed its way into Sae’s heart. Finally, he knew that what he had been feeling since that rainy morning had some tangible evidence of being true, of giving him a conclusion. He nodded, indicating that the older boy could continue.
----------------------------------------
“That time, he tried to intervene, alright. Then just three days ago...” Monori sighed again. It was rather hard for him to be abstinent from smoking. His body did not crave nicotine but the act of smoking a cigarette. His fingers itched, and it was hard to figure out what other habit to entertain himself with when he felt irritated, anxious or bored. He solemnly told Sae, “Never pick up smoking.”
The young boy opened his eyes wide. “Don’t worry. I don’t plan on swallowing smoke.”
Monori nodded. “Very good.” He collected his thoughts. Thinking back on how his little brother went into raptures about what a living legend Shum Deil was made his head hurt, but he continued, “So a few days ago, my brother came home and basically started spinning with awe. He said Deil beat Lennox until the other couldn’t bear to part with Mother Earth. I’m not going to talk shit about him. And I’m not sure why you had beef with those boys in the first place, so all you need to know is: they won’t bother you anymore.”
----------------------------------------
Sae listened as his heart started to hammer, and his breathing became long and deep. So the reason why Shum Deil would not comment on the topic at that time in the shop was that Teo hit the nail on the head with his sole offhand remark.
Sae could not be said to be familiar with Shum Deil. Still, by judging his day to day bearing, Shum Deil was a person with a reckless streak – not at all that hard to irritate. And so Sae did not delude himself into thinking that the fight happened because he got hurt that time.
That fight was not vengeance for him; it was a clear-up. If the two sides dragged their grievances out more – from what Sae heard about that boy – Lennox would draw more and more people around Deil into this mess.
In the end, it was undeniable that the one who unwillingly muddled the waters had been Sae.
Monori snapped his fingers. “If you want to talk this through with Deil, I’ll send you his number. That’s it for me.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Sae said more to himself than to Monori. Would Deil reply if he messaged him? He had already given plenty of opportunities to straighten out the issue. If the other party wasn’t interested… what could his message do?
“I already sent the number. You got it, right?” asked Monori.
The easiest way to answer Sae’s questions was: Go and ask him yourself. Monori felt that way as well, so he acted before Sae himself could admit it. He realised that there had to be a reason why Sae went in a circle that ended up at him – even though Sae could have directly talked to Deil.
Monori had said what he could and offered a means to contact the other without having to go face to face. Albeit he looked like a troublemaker, he was a good kid.
Sae did not pull out his phone, only patted his pocket. “Thanks,” he said, even if it was questionable whether he meant it.
A middle-aged woman was just on her way home when she found the two boys talking near the entrance. The woman had heard about both of them and knew their families too. As she passed by, the look in her eyes seemed half judging, half pitying, as if saying, Why would such a bright, obedient child mix with the likes of someone going to that kind of school?
Monori only smiled as he greeted the lady, not affected by that look in the slightest. He got used to them by now. He chatted with Sae a bit more before saying goodbye.
Sae went to the store and got back home before three o’clock. He contemplated hard and long, but in the end, pulled out his phone and stared at the string of numbers Monori sent him.
Sae penned a message to Shum Deil without any indication of who he was, or any greetings. He wrote,
––How you can be such an idiot is beyond me, but…
––It’s not like I hate idiots for being stupid.