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How to Survive Your Own Death
Chapter 37: Aftermaths and Recoveries

Chapter 37: Aftermaths and Recoveries

It was almost a week before Marigold could see Maxwell. Walter had been tireless in getting her up to the Junction and into the hospital. When she had awoken, he was waiting by her side. Though she had wanted to see Maxwell immediately, her body had other thoughts, and she agreed to stay put for the time being. By the fourth day, she could make do with crutches and insisted on being released. Walter tried to stop her, but after meeting her determined eyes, he helped her up instead.

They couldn’t go immediately, of course. They were being watched now. Officers had been waiting outside, and they had spent two days at Ægency headquarters answering questions, signing documents, and being interviewed by strange creatures in suits who represented organizations neither Marigold nor Walter had ever heard of. At the end of the second day, a familiar face appeared: Gorall. He still bore the marks of his confrontation with the Scholar, but, black-eyed and bruised, he had shown up to testify on their behalf. Incapable of lying or being lied to, testimonies by halgrey were considered unimpeachable, so there could be no question of veracity when Gorall confirmed that yes, Marigold and Walter were being honest, yes, they had indeed saved the Backend from destruction, and yes, Marigold was sincere when she said that the authorities running the Backend didn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. On this last point, Gorall objected that such an exaggeration, while not perhaps a lie, was not true enough that it could be confirmed either. Marigold grudgingly agreed to strike it from the record.

In the end, the authorities thanked Gorall for his time and told Marigold and Walter they were free to go. Though Marigold was eager to get to the Spa, she knew there was one last thing to do. She told Walter to enjoy a meal with his old friend and then descended the stairs that led to the Ægency holding cells.

*

“Hello Av’enna,” Marigold said as she pushed the door open with her good arm, careful not to let her crutches throw her off balance.

Av’enna was sitting in an empty room on the ground floor of Ægency headquarters. Nobody was sure what to do with her. She had turned herself in immediately after the System went down, and they had given her a cell while they figured out what should happen next. Marigold found her despondent, staring at a wall. The mouths that had lined her body were gone, but there were cracks in the stone that marked where they had once been.

“You didn’t have to come,” Av’enna said.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Av’enna said nothing. Marigold took a seat across from her.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” Av’enna said, staring at Marigold’s crutches.

“Really? I would’ve thought that was something you’ve been wanting to do for a while.”

Marigold meant it as a joke, but Av’enna shook her head without smiling. “No.”

“Well, you certainly meant to hurt Thales.”

“That couldn’t be helped.”

Marigold snorted. “He’s all right, I heard, if that matters to you.”

“How would you have heard something like that?”

“We’re in touch with the Hollows again. They want apologies and assurances someone like you won’t show up again. It’s all pretty tense, but in the meantime, communication is possible for the first time in ages.”

Av’enna nodded.

“You made some bad decisions,” Marigold said. “But I don’t think all of them were yours. Why don’t you tell them that? They’ll know it’s true.”

“Because it's not. Some part of me was in control. I wanted the order that thing promised, and I let that feeling carry me away. I hate it here, Marigold. All of this. It’s not what it used to be.”

“No, but maybe it can be better.”

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Av’enna looked up at her. “What do you mean?”

“What we said all those years ago, about our desire to improve things. We both lost sight of it, but maybe we were right. This whole mess has reminded me of what it felt like to have purpose and not just tread water.”

“Good for you.” Av’enna looked away again.

“I’m sure that whatever happened to you was difficult, but maybe I could help.”

“I’m not looking to be anyone’s project. I’m glad you feel motivated again. It sounds wonderful, but I’ve lost everything.

“So, you just plan to wallow?”

“I plan to be punished in the way I should be.”

“What good does that do anyone?”

“It’s not about good, Marigold. It’s never been about good. Good is just something that makes you feel better about yourself. You’ve always wanted to do good. Creatures that are born with everything like you are all about good. You give it out like a gift because you have so much of it. It costs you nothing. I ignored that when I was younger because it came from a place of kindness and because I cared about you, but you’ve never understood. You will keep trying to do good and nothing will change. Have you ever actually challenged your parents or your employers? The ones that are turning the universe into a giant, broken machine? You will continue to do good until you die, chipping away at the edges of disasters.”

“OK,” Marigold said, standing up with some effort. “I’m sorry I bothered you, and sorry about what happened to you. If you ever done wallowing, I'll be here.”

Av’enna said nothing as Marigold left.

*

Marigold couldn’t help testing the weight on her bad foot for the hundredth time that day. She winced and came to rest on her crutches again. It wouldn’t be better for some time. She said nothing to Walter as they rode up the elevator to the Spa.

Walter had been in touch with IT for the last week through text, email, and phone. The robot updated them as best it could. Maxwell was alive but unconscious. IT had some ideas about how to fix this, but none of them were ideal, and its efforts were exasperated by trying to keep the Backend running at the same time. With the Scholar gone, IT had taken over the responsibility, and it was exhausting. By the time Marigold and Walter finally set off for the Spa, they hadn’t heard from the robot in two days.

The elevator ride was long, and Marigold wanted it to be over. She found herself unable to suppress the concern she had been bottling up for nearly a week.

The doors of the elevator opened, and one of the few functioning robots in the Backend greeted them.

“Hello and welcome to the Spa. Do you remember me, Marigold?”

Marigold blinked back at the digital display.

“The robot that tried to crush me, right?”

“That is correct, but please call me Bethany. It is my name now.”

“We’re here to see Maxwell.”

"I understand. Please come with me.”

Bethany led Marigold and Walter through the halls of the Spa. The rooms had begun to fill up again and Marigold could see a few bewildered humans waking up to discover they had died. All was well again, it seemed.

“I thought the robots disappeared with the Scholar,” Walter said.

“I am the last and only one for the time being. The Scholar never had the opportunity to let me join the unity—a shame for me, but fortunate for the universe.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I run everything now. IT repaired the Scholar’s damage but did not want the responsibility of running things, so I am now in charge. I am the System, and the System is me, Bethany.”

“Wonderful,” Marigold said.

“It is wonderful,” Bethany agreed. “IT finally found a doctor. She arrived shortly before you did. It was quite a feat finding a human specialist in the Backend, but IT insisted on the best. The poor robot has barely left Maxwell’s side the whole time. It even insisted on having him fed intravenously. Are you aware of how much food humans consume?”

Bethany came to a stop outside an open door at the far end of the corridor. IT was inside and a doctor was behind it.

“You finally came,” IT said. “It’s uh—you know, it’s—”

“It’s good to see you IT,” Marigold said.

Walter bent down and patted IT gently on top of its frame as he entered the room.

“You’re back in the vacuum,” he said.

“Yeah, it just felt like home, but I got them to speed the thing up, and look at what it can do now.”

Two jets on either side of IT ignited and brought the robot to eye level with Marigold.

“Impressive,” she said. “How’s Maxwell?”

“It looks bad,” the doctor said, turning around to face them. “I’m Dr. Oinos, you must be Walter and Marigold.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Walter asked.

“He’s lost too much of himself. Whatever happened to him here has damaged him permanently. He’s dead, I’m afraid.”

Walter gasped.

“He’s not dead,” Marigold said.

“These things can be hard to accept.”

“He’s breathing, look.”

They all turned to look at Maxwell and watched his chest slowly move up and down.

“From my understanding of humans, they can continue to breathe for up to six days after they die.”

Marigold turned to IT. “This is the best human doctor in the Backend?”

“Well, most humans come here to die. There’s not exactly a booming field of specialists.”

"I can assure you that my diagnosis is accurate,” the doctor said.

“I’m sure it is, but I think we’ll get a second opinion,” Marigold replied.

The doctor moved toward the door. “Suit yourself. I know the truth can be hard, but I’m the human expert here, and I’m telling you this case is hopeless. The sooner you accept that the sooner you can move on.”

Maxwell woke up two hours after she left.

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