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How to Survive Your Own Death
Chapter 10: Temporal Illiquidity

Chapter 10: Temporal Illiquidity

The saying “time is money” is trite, cliched, and a likely sign that you are in a toxic work environment, but in the Backend, the saying is also unequivocally factual. Distilled temporality is not only the fuel that makes the universe run, it is also currency. Creatures in the Backend have long sought to earn, exchange, and hoard time in either base cube or aggregated script form. Scripts are equal to years, while cubes come in denominations of months, weeks, days, minutes, and seconds. Over the centuries, temporal inflation has devalued the currency sharply, making it less effective as fuel and producing the unintended side effect of making humans feel time is getting faster as they age.

Without time, there is not much one can do in the Backend, and as creatures were quickly learning amidst the system outage Marigold and Maxwell sought to end, time may very well be money, but all the time in the universe means very little when the ATMs are down.

After leaving the Bureau, Maxwell followed Marigold through crowded city streets that almost felt half-familiar. On all sides, impossibly tall skyscrapers full of restaurants and shops rose up in parallel walls of steel and glass. Most of the buildings were locked and closed for the day, with hastily scribbled notes explaining their current inability to process purchases. It was certainly larger and more hectic than anything Maxwell had seen, but it was at least recognizable as a city.

One shopfront had a long line-up stretching out in front of it, and it was only as they drew closer that Maxwell figured out it must be some kind of bank. It too had been closed, but this hadn’t stopped customers from forcing the doors open and trying to use the flickering machines. The crowd spilled out onto the street, where a few of the creatures seemed less interested in deposits and withdrawals and more preoccupied with an imminent confrontation between a well-dressed lizard person and an incensed purple monster with a wolf-like snout and far too many legs and eyes—eight each. At the end of its arms, it also had two very sharp claws that it was waving wildly as it argued.

“You know it was mine,” the monster said.

“If it was yours, it would have come out when you tried to withdraw it,” the lizard replied.

“I know what’s mine. You saw me at the machine.”

“I saw you walk away from the machine is what I saw, and if I were you, I would keep walking.”

The lizard was rearing back and getting ready to fight. The monster seemed up for the challenge. It all looked like it was about to get very bloody until a green blur surged forward and came between the creatures. It was Marigold, and she had both her hands up.

“Everyone calm down,” she said.

“Stay out of this, Caretaker,” the purple monster replied.”

“Just tell me what happened.”

“She took my money. I used the machine, but nothing came out. Then she goes up to it and walks out with the exact amount I requested. She stole my money.”

“I stole nothing. This is mine,” the lizard said, holding up multi-colored sheets of paper.

“Right, OK, whatever. How much are we talking?” Marigold asked.

“Twenty slips,” the monster replied.

Marigold took a moment to register what she was being told. She looked from the lizard to the monster and then shook her head. “That’s it?”

“It may not be much to a Caretaker like you, but it’s my money. Besides, it’s the principle of the matter,” the monster said, sticking his snout indignantly in the air.

Marigold sighed, reached into her bag, and pulled out two pieces of yellow-green paper with large tens printed in each of the corners. “Everyone happy?” she said.

There was no answer. The monster reached out and snatched money, and the lizard tramped off, fuming. Marigold took this as a cue to leave and nodded for Maxwell to follow. She led him away from the crowd at a brisk pace, hand in overly moist hand.

“That was nice of you, but I thought we were keeping a low profile,” IT said from Marigold’s bag.

“We are. Fights like that can cause a lot of damage, and damage attracts the kind of authorities we’re trying to avoid.”

Marigold marched Maxwell through a narrow alley away from the crowds and turned onto another broad avenue. All the while, she kept looking over her shoulder and making a clicking noise with her tongue.

“I think the plan might have backfired,” she said.

“What do you mean?” Maxwell asked.

“He’s following us.”

Maxwell looked over his shoulder and saw the purple monster trailing a few meters behind. He looked sheepish at being spotted but used it as an excuse to run up to them. Marigold did little to hide her annoyance at the creature’s approach.

“Wait up. Hey, I’m sorry about that back there,” he said.

“It’s fine,” Marigold said, in a voice that suggested it was not fine at all.

“That’s not me. Not really. I’m just a bit desperate.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Right, and I wanted to thank you.”

“No need.”

All three figures stood in awkward silence for a moment, which game Maxwell an opportunity to take in the monster. He was large and round, twice as tall as Maxwell and three times as wide. He had messy purple fur all over his body except for his eight chicken-like feet that ended in talons. They looked sharp enough to remove Maxwell’s head from his body with very little effort. The monster’s eight eyes scanned Marigold up and down.

“Was there anything else?” she asked.

“You’re a Caretaker, right?”

“I am.”

“That must be amazing.”

“Must it?”

“Pays well, doesn’t it?”

“Where is this going?”

“See, the thing is, I appreciate the money you gave me, but I need at least a hundred slips to pay my way home.” The monster’s voice was desperate and shaky. “I know as a caretaker, you must have some slips to spare, and I’m sorry to ask like this, but if you could just give me a few more, I could get home to my kids.”

“I don’t think it’s possible to leave the Junction, right now. Money won’t change that.”

“Come on, don’t be like that.” The monster hesitated for a second. Six of his eyes moved from Marigold to the part of Maxwell still visible behind her. His snout twitched.

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“Who is that with you?”

“Nobody,” Marigold said. “Are we done?”

“That smell . . .”

“I think we’d better be going.”

“It’s been so long. It can’t be . . .” The creature’s remaining two eyes moved to Maxwell.

“Excuse me, what are you looking at?” Marigold asked.

“Your friend is . . .”

Something went wild in the eyes of the monster. Before Maxwell could figure out what was going on, the monster had grabbed Marigold in one of his four arms and thrown her to the curb. With the amphibious guardian out of the way, the creature made straight for Maxwell, both rows of fangs glistening as a crowd of onlookers formed.

“Human!” he yelled.

“No, no no, not human,” Maxwell replied, but the creature wasn’t listening anymore.

A claw shot out at Maxwell’s eyes, and he fell back, narrowly avoiding the loss of a substantial part of his face. The creature had thrown his weight into the attack and lost his balance, tumbling forward to the ground. Maxwell didn’t think—he ran. He tore past the monster’s right flank and out into the city.

The crowds were thick, but Maxwell did his best to use them for cover, weaving between oncoming pedestrians. He hoped his size would help him lose the monster. Compared to just about everyone around him, he was very small. He snaked between a green glowing blob and a mound of blue tentacles, jumped over a screaming snub-nosed monkey, and almost tripped into a flickering sign written in a language he could not read. There were no glances back to see if Marigold was following. He was too afraid that he would confirm the metallic clatter of talon on stone was the monster bearing down on him.

There was a narrow alley ahead blocked by a black partition. Maxwell ducked underneath and ran inside, but a stalled locomotive blocked the way in front of him. He turned to face the way he had come, but it was already too late. The monster was there at the mouth of the alley.

Maxwell turned back to look at the train. It took up the entire alley and left him no room to escape on either side. He would have to go up. Pivoting on his heals, he bounded forward and scrambled up the front of the train, clambering up the grill and pulling himself over the windshield. Inside he caught a glimpse of a pale, ghost-like driver pulling a lever in frustration, too distracted to notice the human climbing over his windshield.

Maxwell made it to the top of the train and made his way to the other side of the alley, but it didn’t take long for the monster to follow. Its iron talons dug into the brick wall beside the train, scaling the wall in seconds. It jumped off a short distance from Maxwell.

“Human, human, human!” the creature screamed. It stamped its talons against the iron plates of the train. The sound was like nails on a chalkboard in the midst of an earthquake.

Before Maxwell could jump from the back of the train, the driver’s frantic lever pushing finally paid off, and the train screeched into motion. The train shot out of the alley and ascending into the sky at an almost vertical angle. The motion surprised the monster and almost toppled Maxwell to the ground. As Maxwell looked down at the junction from an increasingly steep angle, he was grateful for the selective gravity Marigold had told him about. He just hoped it would stay selective for a little while longer.

The monster regained its footing and began to approach Maxwell with a hungry smile on its face. He licked not only his lips, but the entire lower portion of his face, including two pairs of eyes.

Maxwell took a step backwards, but moving at all felt like an act of faith. He was now almost completely vertical. Maxwell looked back at the precipitous drop behind him and weighed his options between claws and fangs and a sheer plunge to his death. There was, however, a third option. Below him a roughly human-sized sparrow was flying through the air. Landing on its back was a long shot, but a long shot was better than no shot at all.

He kicked off the train and instantly felt the force of gravity return, shooting him downward. He flailed about wildly until he felt his arms connect with one of the sparrow’s legs. He hugged it for dear life.

The bird briefly plummeted before regaining itself, and looked down wide-eyed at its new passenger.

“Pesky, pesky, bad,” the sparrow said, kicking Maxwell upside the head with its free leg.

“Sorry, I’m very sorry,” Maxwell said.

They were descending quickly. The creature was barely larger than Maxwell and its stubby wings could not keep them both aloft.

“‘Pesky,’ I said.” The sparrow kicked him again, this time much harder.

Maxwell looked below. A new leviathan was passing beneath them. It was moving fast and would be gone in another few seconds.

“Thank you,” Maxwell said, grimacing at the mortified bird.

He let go and dove toward the leviathan. It almost certainly would have ended with a very sudden splat, had Maxwell not spotted water. This particular moving city block was a park. A large pond sat in the center and Maxwell splashed down like a screaming, flailing, profanity-spewing asteroid.

He was dazed but swam at full speed to the banks of the pond, where two toddlers wading through the water watched him wide-eyed but said nothing. The plunge had soaked his face covering, and he had trouble breathing, but he didn’t dare take it off with so many eyes on him. Maxwell turned around and saw the monster plummeting down after him. While the eight legs gave him speed, they were not well-suited to acrobatics. He missed the pond entirely and landed on the grass nearby with a thud.

As the monster recovered, Maxwell shot a glance around the park. It was narrow and short, far smaller than the patch of city he had been walking through before. The edge was only a few metres away from the pond and Maxwell ran toward it along a neatly landscaped path with trees and plants on all sides. He made it to the edge and pulled himself up the high concrete wall.

If Maxwell had been hoping for another park or decently sized flying creature, he was disappointed. There was another city block passing by below him, but it was not the kind of fall he would survive. Already exhausted, Maxwell sagged. He could see the monster tearing toward him now, slobbering and enraged. Visions of a messy death began to consume him. This was it. He had tried his best, but it was going to end as pointlessly as it had all begun.

At that moment, a small green orb with large black eyes, four squat appendages and wings, clumsily flew onto the path between Maxwell and the rampaging monster. It was apparently oblivious to what was going on. Maxwell could tell the adorable green orb was likely to become and adorable green paste if he didn’t do something.

There was no time to get the child out of the way and the hedges on either side made it impossible to alter the creature’s trajectory. Instead, he ran forward, jumped over the confused green infant, and raised his hands in surrender. If he was going to die, at least he would die protecting something other than himself for once. He gritted his teeth and winced as he prepared for his inevitable demise.

Just then, a now-familiar blur shot down from the sky. It landed with a tremendous splash in the pond and traversed the water with all the grace that belied its amphibious form. It was Marigold and she was moving fast.

The splash was enough to finally startle the small green orb, which flew off to a pair of distracted and slightly larger orbs nearby. It also drew the attention of the monster. He turned around, ready for a fight. Marigold paid him little mind. She bounded through the park, kicked off the monster’s head and made it to Maxwell.

“I’m God, I’m—”

Maxwell did not get the chance to finish. Marigold picked him up and jumped over the edge of the platform. They fell and fell, and the buildings below them shot up like daggers searching for Maxwell’s fleshiest bits. He wondered what the shock absorbency limits were on amphibian legs, but before he had the chance to find out, Marigold reached out with her free hand and grabbed a hold of a flagpole sticking out from the side of a nearby building. She flipped around the pole once and landed flat on the pavement below.

It took Maxwell a moment to realize what had happened and another to start breathing again. He had survived. Despite all odds, he was in full possession of his head and limbs. He looked up in time to see the monster scowling down at them from above. After a moment, the leviathan it was on pulled him out of sight.

“Is everyone OK?” IT asked. “Did Maxwell get eaten?”

“He’s fine,” Marigold said.

Maxwell was pretty sure he was not fine. He could feel the adrenaline surging through his body, his heart was beating much too fast. It felt as if the world were vibrating around him.

“You’re wet,” she said, reaching into her bag and pulling out a towel.

“You have a towel in there?”

“I have a lot of things in here.”

He took the towel and dried himself. This was not a good place. This was a terrible place full of terrible things. He wanted to be back home in bed. He wanted to be anywhere but where he was.

“Are you crying?” Marigold asked.

“Is he?” IT asked.

“I’m fine, I’m not crying.”

“It’s OK to cry,” IT said with gleeful excitement.

Truthfully, he did not know if he was crying or not. He did not know what he was feeling. He might have been crying, but too many thoughts and sensations were seeping through his mind. He turned away and dried his face, just in case.

“Are there a lot of monsters that can smell me like that?” Maxwell asked.

“Let’s hope not,” Marigold replied.

Maxwell did not feel reassured. “How did I do?”

“What do you mean?” Marigold asked.

“Escaping. I didn’t think I was going to get away from the monster, but I did.”

“Yes. I mean, you needed my help, but you did run for a bit on your own.”

Maxwell deflated. He wanted to explain that he had saved an infant, but that seemed a little needy. He hemmed and hawed and finally said nothing.

Marigold eyes Maxwell in silence for a moment. “I mean, running is good. Well done,” she said at last. She took the towel back from Maxwell and shoved it in her bag, then began to examine their surroundings. “Actually, this isn’t bad. We’re closer to my apartment. We might even be able to catch a train from here.”

Marigold began to walk again and Maxwell trudged along behind her. He was exhausted and scared and wished very much that someone would congratulate him on his heroism.