It was nearly two centuries that Pete had put into the Ægency. Two centuries and he was still being called on for grunt work. All those years might not seem like a lot to some of the more immortal species working there, but for a sclitch like Pete, that was the better part of a life. He was nearing retirement and determined to enjoy the few perks that came with far too many years of service. Primary among them was an ample number of paid holidays every year—almost three full weeks now. Whenever he felt like it, he could sit back, kick up his feet, and think about the steady growth of his pension.
For this reason, he was not just irritated when Av'enna called him in on his off day, a day that he had set aside to watch the intramural trundaball championships. He was livid. She had barely been around fifty years and thought she could order him around whenever she liked. She wasn’t even that good at her job if you asked him, no matter what everyone else said down at headquarters. Still, no point in making waves this late in the game. Best to play friendly and count down his remaining days. At least he would make time-and-a-half on this.
With no small amount of grunting and groaning, he turned off the trundalball game, put on the uniform, and headed down to the Junction to meet the others. Some kind of System outage was delaying everything. Pete didn’t know what that meant. He had heard a lot of talk about the System but had never really understood what it was. As far as he could tell, an outage just meant clogged transit lines and an hour-long trip instead of his usual fifteen minutes. When he finally arrived on the scene, he saw Erika, Mai, and Enoch waiting for him. He liked the first two. Mai had always been respectful and kind, and Erika oversaw the office betting pool, which was a different sort of kindness. He had bet big that Kyrigon would score at least six hand-slides before the 51st inning in today’s game. Pete wasn’t a big fan of Enoch, though. The kid was naïve and far too agreeable. It was unnerving when someone just smiled and nodded all the time the way he did. Of course, Pete didn’t mind so much when the nodding was directed his way, but more often than not, it was Av’enna who received the rookie’s unquestioning support.
Pete liked Av’enna least of all. She had control issues. Anyone could see it. She couldn’t just let the cases work themselves. She always had to push. True, she got things done quickly, but she made mistakes. If you were patient and didn’t worry about quick advancement, each case would show you what you needed to know exactly when you needed to know it. That was how he had closed more cases than any other agent in the last hundred years. Unfortunately, it was also how he had ended up second fiddle to a pushy know-it-all with a personal vendetta.
He spent the morning making the rounds, knocking on the doors he was told to knock on. Several creatures had seen a frog and someone who might’ve been human heading down to the Lower Junction, and then Av’enna had got a hunch that a friend of hers might be involved. She was right, but the friend had tricked her and escaped. When Pete found out that Av’enna planned to follow, he insisted on a break. It wasn’t so much because of regulations, like he told Av’enna, it was to cool things down. This case was getting personal, and that always led to dangerous places. He couldn’t stop her for long though. She was determined to keep going, even if it meant a trip through the Archive.
*
“So, you think they’re going down to the Hollows?” Mai asked.
“I’m certain of it,” Av’enna said.
After their brief, non-union-length coffee break, they made their way down the countless stairs that led from the Junction to Old Admin. Av’enna seemed to think Marigold had taken an old maintenance slide to avoid security, but Pete had refused to get in one of those death traps and insisted on the stairs. He was trying to lecture Enoch about maximizing contributions to his retirement fund as early as possible, but the rookie wasn’t realy listening. Pete knew when he was being humored. He would regret it when he was older. Pete gave up on hammering sense into the insentient and turned his attention to Mai’s conversation with Av’enna.
“If Marigold’s headed to the Hollows, why not just take the emergency shuttle down and get ahead of her?” Pete asked.
“Because we have no jurisdiction in the Hollows. We have to catch up with Marigold before she gets through the Forest,” Av’enna replied.
“So, you don’t want to sneak into the Hollows, but you have no problem breaking into the Archive?”
“There’s nobody in the Archive, Pete. Anyone that could be there would have died a long time ago,” Av’enna said. “Who’s going to report us?”
“Nobody, maybe, but you never seemed like much of a rule-breaker before.”
“Not like you, you mean,” Av’enna snapped.
Pete ignored the insult. “What if this plan doesn’t work? What if you’re too late to catch up?”
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“Then we ignore jurisdiction and go get Marigold in the Hollows,” Av’enna replied. “They must know some way to get from the Core to the forest below. I just have to follow suit.”
“Right,” Pete said.
He and Erika exchanged a look of concern. As Av’enna suggested, Pete had no problem testing the tensile strength of the occasional rule, but this was reckless.
Av’enna had been right about where they were going. Sure enough, someone had opened the padlock on the door, and descended into the Archive below. They descended the ladder one by one, and Av’enna told them to spread out and look for the frog.
Pete didn’t think it was a smart idea to peel off alone into the dark, vast, no doubt haunted Arcive, but he was getting increasingly reckless. He just wanted this to be over. He was in one of the ancient forgotten siderooms when he heard Enoch screaming from somewhere in the central hall. He rushed out to find the others already assmebled around something lumpy and white. It was halfway through merging with Enoch in a truly bizarre and horrifying display.
Things happened fast after that. Whatever this thing was, it moved like jelly and seemed to be everywhere all at once. Pete swung out at a mouth, but the thing disappeared into the floor before he made contact. Beside him, Mai was thrown to the ground. It would’ve been over fast if Av’enna hadn’t been thinking on her feet. She pulled out a canister of pepper spray and squeezed. Pete and Erika followed suit, with Mai joining in when she was back on her feet. What irritated a single mouth, wreaked havoc on the dozens lining the grotesque creature’s body. It was one of the ghastlier sights Pete had seen, but the creature coughed and shouted, and eventually retreated into itself. They got it in bindings shortly thereafter, which was a gooey and unpleasant business all its own.
With the creature apprehended, they were now faced with getting it back to headquarters. Only Av’enna wanted to keep going. That didn’t sit right with Pete. He may not have liked Enoch much, but the kid deserved much better than this. Mai and Erika clearly sided with him too. They should go back to headqarters, process this monster, and tell the chief about Enoch.
Av’enna barely registered all of this. She waved them off, determined to continue. Pete was happy to let her. He said his goodbyes, grabbed the monster, and trudged back the way they came
*
The whole way up, the white mouthy creature grumbled and moaned about machines and rituals and something about a greater unity they would all soon join. Pete didn’t pay it much mind. If there was one skill Pete was certain he possessed, it was the ability to not listen when he didn’t want to.
Erika and Mai opted to inform the chief about Enoch, while Pete took the captive for processing. He trudged into headquarters and toward the back of the building. His colleagues looked stunned, but Pete wasn’t in an explaining mood. He sat the creature down at his desk and stared down at him, wondering what he should do. Normally, he could just log the creature and book it, but not with the System outage. Today he would have to wait.
He glanced at the clock. The game would still be on for a couple of hours. Pete weighed his options, looked at the monster on his right, and made a quick calculation. If Av’enna could break the big rules, who was going to care if he broke a small one? He would do this the way things used to be done, quickly and quietly. Nobody would notice or care if he took this thing into the backroom and processed it himself. Hell, Enoch probably would’ve wanted it that way.
Bernie was on guard duty. That was a bit of good luck. He was a good one, reliable and tight-lipped, though he did make some feeble attempts at protest.
“You can’t just go about processing whoever you want. Those days are long gone. The room’s only for emergencies.”
“Who’s going to find out?” Pete asked. “Besides, look at this thing? It got one of us, are you just going to let it?”
Bernie looked over at the monster of many mouths.
“You will join us, and it will be ecstasy for you. There is no need to fear us, for within us you will know peace,” the creature said.
Bernie grimaced and looked back at Pete.
“I get your point, but even if nobody found out, the System's not working properly. Who knows what’s going to happen if you try to process this thing?”
“I know what’s going to happen, Bernie. I’m going to press the button, and it’s going to disappear.”
Bernie shook his head. “Well, I’m technically on break. You do what you need to do, but I’m going to go take a nap.”
Pete hauled the mumbling monster into the backroom, sat it in the chair, and fixed the device over its head. It made another feeble attempt to fight back, but Pete used the spray, and the thing sat still.
“This will be your last mistake,” it said.
Pete didn’t reply. He had made a lot of last mistakes, and he was pretty sure he would make plenty more.
He pushed the red button, and the creature was gone, absorbed into the machine. It worked, just like he knew it would. Sure, the lights had briefly gone out, and some strange pattern had flickered on the monitor, but Pete had got the job done with no paperwork or accounting. He left a note on Av'enna’s desk and went home.
That night, Pete nursed a drink as he watched the highlights of the day’s game. It turned out that Kyrigon had sprained his wrist in the seventh round of the 18th inning. Figured. He imagined Erika smiling to herself. He would owe her big the next time he saw her. They were showing footage of Kyrigon’s surprisingly brutal injury when someone knocked on the door. Pete muttered several words of profanity to himself and got up to answer. It seemed it was just going to be one of those days from start to finish.
He opened the door and found a little wood-paneled robot with a purple display standing at his doorstep. It was smiling. A mouth cut across the entire display at an angle.
“We told you it would be your last mistake,” the robot said.
Pete did not have time to make a connection between the robot and the creature he had processed hours ago. The robot was too quick. It reached out with its arms and inserted something into Pete’s leg. His last thoughts before a manifold unity subsumed his essence were about his benefits. He wondered what would happen to his pension now.