Tap

There was a soft tap to fill the silence. Even Leonardo’s huffing breaths had to quiet down each time that soft tap repeated itself. Alice could feel it, their Elder Sister, Marion De Vritara, was looking at them, a crease between her brows.

"Leonardo De Vritara."

The voice was dignified but cold, traces of disappointment and annoyance lingering in each syllable. He grit his teeth, Alice could almost hear it as she stood next to him.

"You are a Vritara. On your back you carry the pride and dignity of the Earhart empire’s noblest family. So why must you raise your voice so loudly and scream like a petulant child? Why must you throw a tantrum like that for all to see?"

The quiet tapping continued as the voice bore down on Leonardo. It was a typical scolding. Truthfully, Alice had heard similar things many times whenever one of her elder brothers went overboard and she was brought along to listen.

So why? Why did it sound so grating this time? Why did the words she had heard so often leave a sour taste in her mouth?

"Don’t you know how to handle things cleanly? Are you incapable of doing things quietly? Does your anger have to be heard by the world so that you can pretend that it has some importance and weight?"

Ah. Hearing her sister scold Leonardo some more, she understood it. Marion was angry at Leonardo, but it was only because he made such a loud fuss that even the servants could hear it. Before long, news would spread about the Vritara who couldn’t control his emotions even within his own walls. It was a stain on their name, So Marion was angry. And thus, she scolded Leonardo.

But even with all her scolding and all her nagging, there was still something missing. Not one word was spoken about the servant he beat. Not one angry letter was uttered about the boy that was left bloody to quell Leonardo’s anger.

And that was the source of the sour taste. Alice was angry that Gabriel was beaten, but Marion never even mentioned it. No, perhaps it didn’t even register in her mind.

"Return to your quarters, I will have some servants search for your necklace and notify you when it is found. So just stay quiet and don’t kick up more of a fuss, we may just be able to still sweep this under the rug with a modicum of silence."

Alice couldn’t see it, but Marion was probably waving her hand in a dismissive manner. It was a habit of hers whenever she was annoyed, a quick wave to make all the problems go away. Leonardo clicked his tongue but still left, stomping through the hallway as he fumed.

"Hmh? Not going?"

Marion’s gaze landed on Alice, who remained in place. She knew. How could she not, this wasn’t the first time she was dismissed without being addressed. She was supposed to leave with Leonardo, she always did. But her feet wouldn’t move. Her hands balled up into fists and her feet felt like roots. She couldn’t move, she wouldn’t move.

"Elder Sister…"

She forced out the words with all her might. How many times hadn’t she been here without being able to say a word? How many times hadn’t she stood in front of her siblings, unable to raise neither head nor voice? But now that she actually opened her mouth, now that she had something to talk about, she found that the words came out so easily that she couldn’t understand why she had kept quiet for so long.

"Elder Brother Leonardo struck my knight. He beat Gabriel until blood flew. Beating a knight for no reason, outside of a duel, is prohibited. I want him to get punished."

Gabriel had helped her study quite a bit, both etiquette and history. Thanks to him, she knew more about this empire and the world than she ever did before. Knights, despite their occupation, were defended quite well, they were often the face of a family after all.

It wasn’t to the point of a death sentence, but beating the knight of someone else for no reason, especially a knight that didn’t fight back, was prohibited by the first emperor and was thus punishable. In this case it would probably just be something like house arrest, but it was a punishment, and it was the best she could do for Gabriel right now.

"That won’t happen."

But sadly, Marion shut her down almost instantly. Finally, it became too much for Alice to bear, her head raising on its own.

"But why?!"

Marion sat behind her desk, curled hair hanging down to just past her shoulders. The same dark blue hair and golden eyes as the rest of the Vritara family. In this house, only Alice was different, only she was marked by sin. She knew that. She was told it time and time again.

But still… Shouldn’t her Elder Sister at least look at her while they were talking? Why was her head buried in papers? She shot down Alice’s hopes, but couldn’t even be bothered to raise her head to look at her as she did so?

"Because he is not a knight. By all technical accounts, he is not even a servant, much less a knight. He has no contract, receives no salary, and has no documentation that even proves that he is alive. As such, he is classified as a slave. Beating or even killing a slave is, by the law, not illegal. Thus, I cannot punish Leonardo."

A sour taste spread through Alice’s mouth. How could she say that? That boy had placed himself in front of her and taken the beating for her, his blood even splattering her face. He was the first one to celebrate her birthday with her, the first one to bother teaching her anything, the first one to make her feel like she had any worth. He was the first one to not leave her.

"Ah…"

As she thought about it, Alice realized it. He was the first. Always, in everything, he was her first, and he was always there. The happy memories you were supposed to share with your family, the peaceful and fun times you were supposed to share with friends. Other people had those memories spaced out across their entire childhoods, but for her, those memories only spanned a little over a week.

The things she should have, the things she deserved, he had been the only one to share them with her, to give them to her. The brothers that should protect her, the sister that should teach her about the world, the father that should smile at her, she had none of it. Everything had to come from him, he was the only one who bothered to give it to her.

"Ah…"

Her chest hurt. Her breath felt like glue as it tried to escape her lungs. Her eyes and the back of her throat felt as if they were on fire.

Gabriel had taught her a lot in the time they spent together. Magic, history, etiquette, manners, morals, math, literature. He always had something new to teach her, be it something major or something minor. But now she realized something he taught her without ever opening a book.

She had been sad. The family that didn’t care for her, the house that didn’t welcome her. Every day she spent there had been painful, she knew that now. She had been lonely all along, she finally understood that now as she looked at the Elder Sister that couldn’t even be bothered to return her look.

But… But all that was in the past. She had been sad, she had been lonely, it had been painful. But no more. There was someone now who wouldn’t make her sad. Someone who wouldn’t leave her alone. Someone who wouldn’t hurt her. And because of that, be it now or in the future, she could leave all those bleak things in the past.

"Still here? I’ve already said that I can’t punish Leonardo so what else do you want?"

Marion still didn’t raise her head, brows creasing as she read through whatever papers she was holding. Alice wondered how she looked in their eyes in the past. The her standing there now and the her standing there a month ago, would they be able to tell the difference? She didn’t know, and part of her whispered that she didn’t care. They had never cared about her before so she couldn’t care about them now, it would never be reciprocated and simply get wasted.

"Want…"

The word hung on the tip of her tongue and lingered in her mouth. Wants. Desires. Did she even have them in the past? She accepted her situation, she knew that this was just how her life was. When you accepted something like that, how could you possibly ever come to want anything else?

But now… Now she felt like she had something that could make her grow desires, a reason to want.

"I want him. I want Gabriel. I want him to be recognized as a knight, MY knight, not just by the family but by the entire empire. I want to punish Elde… Leonardo for hurting him. I want to punish Francis for the things he’s done to me over the years. I want to take over the Vritara family. I want to learn more from him. I want him to stay with me to make up for all the time no one else did."

The words flowed so easily now. For each one she spoke, a new one was born. The things that had been bottled up for years prior were either discarded or aired out, the murky and clogged up air that filled her heart and chest finally cleared up. She finally spoke the truth, and in doing so, learned her own truth.

"Fufu, Marion, it seems like I’m quite greedy."

Knight. She had spoken it lightly, but becoming a knight was difficult. In this entire empire, there were only seven people who could grant someone the title of knight. The emperor, the three dukes, the leader of the eastern family, the crown princess, and the captain of the Royal Guards. Convincing any one of them to confer the title of knight to Gabriel would be extremely hard, especially at this point.

But she would do it. He’d taught her many things, his tenets mixed in among them all. Number two and three were ones she made especially sure to keep in mind, and they were most certainly relevant now. He was hers, so she would never let anyone else take him. And she wanted to make him her knight, so she would do everything she could to make it a reality.

She couldn’t help but smile all of a sudden. Ah, how refreshed she suddenly felt. She placed a hand against her chest, and there she felt it.

Thump

Her heart was beating. Had it always been beating? It didn’t feel like it in the past. But now she felt it oh so clearly. It was beating. She was alive. And as he had finally taught her, she had worth, she deserved to live.

"Goodbye, Marion, I’ll retreat to my quarters for now."

She grabbed the hem of her simple dress and gave a polite bow before spinning on her heels, leaving the office with a smile. Only as she left, only after she spilled all of her desires, had Marion finally raised her head to look at her. But by then, all she could see was her back.