Chirp, chirp!

The bird sang for the comfort of the coming draft. The swaying of the familiar curtains that I often saw at night was now painting a different feeling when I saw them along the warm sun rays.

I could feel pain taking my body hostage.

"Are you actually going to ignore us, kid?" Muttered the woman, sitting with her legs crossed.

"..." I said nothing, not even willing to take my eyes off the windows.

"Have you lost your mind, you lowly whore!?" Berated Renata with a hushed voice, afraid to disturb me, I suppose.

"And you don't!? The Shepherd who's supposed to lead us turns out to be a fucking brat, and did you think I can stay meek and cool knowing all that? Am I the odd one here from losing my shit over this fact!?" Hissed Clara furiously.

"Say one more word about Milord, and I will personally slice that wretched tongue once and for all." Threatened Renata grimly.

"You wanna have a go!? Let's have a go, bitch! I've had enough of all your shit!!" Deciding that she wasn't having it, Clara tapped into her mana.

"Stop it. It's too loud..." Before the two skinned each other alive, I intervened.

My mood felt like shit, and so many questions were left unanswered, so their bickering had just made it worse.

"By your will, Milord."

"...Fuck..."

It was unclear whether it was due to the ambiance or my fed-up tone, but at least they were quick to drop it.

Although Renata aside, Clara's response sure did beg the question. Now that she finally found out who Shepherd was, I never would've thought she could find it within her to still listen to me.

Maybe she still had a semblance of respect for my authority as Shepherd left within her despite all the outrage. Who knows...Maybe...

"You know who I am, right?" The words cally flowed from my lips.

"...Dawson's heir." Answered Clara, short and curt, frowning in response.

"Right. I am Alexander Von Dawson...Maybe this is a hard fact to swallow, but you have to cool down and figure it out yourself, Clara...Right now, I don't have the energy and the mind to answer every last one of your doubts."

Clara's eyes flickered in discomfort.

"But know this, Clara...I've always put everything in this...My future...My life...Everything."

She tossed her chin to the side and harrumphed low, closing her eyes as she took a couple of deep breaths to calm her raging nerves.

"Did I win?" I turned to Renata.

"...No, Milord..." Replied her back, long and winded.

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'I thought so...'

At that moment, I really believed I could win. I really did. I have tasted only victory ever since I could remember arriving in this world. My belief in word magic was unwavering, like it had always been. Moreover, I was confident because my blessings had grown to a new milestone due to the release of the first seal God placed on my soul.

My ego was on cloud nine. I'd be lying if I said I was not feeling complacent at that point.

But when we reached the point where I had to force-feed myself with the raw, unfiltered mana of the world, I was almost sure of my coming defeat, frustrating as it might've been.

And seeing him braving through that spell in which I almost burned myself to death made me realize something about what he said.

'I don't know the way the powerful fight...'

That man was someone who had stepped way beyond the boundary of the word normal. He had transcended to a summit where he reigned supreme, and he did all that without blessings like mine.

There was a huge chasm that spanned between us, and I fought him like how I fought Pepe.

He was like this huge, impenetrable fortress that I tried to bring down by throwing hundreds and thousands of knives at it. If I fought against an army, maybe that would do the trick. But against someone like him, it was a child's play at best.

"Why did he spare me?" I asked, my voice was grating low.

Renata jerked in place, visibly uncomfortable, not knowing whether she should answer my query or not.

"Tell me, Renata." I urged her. 'Why...?'

I needed to hear it. I have to know why, or else I wouldn't be able to do anything with this annoying lump in my throat.

"...He said that he will be waiting for you...And he does not like to wait for too long, Milord." Answered Renata softly, almost like a whisper.

'Fuck...'

'Fuck it...'

"Fuck..." A soft whisper escaped my battered and cracked lips.

A line of warm tears trickled down my cheek.

"Damn it...I hate this. I can't lose! I shouldn't lose!! Fuck!!!" Finally, I snapped.

I cussed my heart out with snots and tears running down my face, making a slob mess of it, but I paid it no mind. I didn't even care that Renata and Clara or anybody else for that matter were there watching me venting my ass out like a freaking spoiled brat that I was.

It was pathetic, but I couldn't help it. I really need to get it out of my system, or else I'd feel like it would eat me alive from the inside.

'Damn it! Damn this!! Fuck me! Fuck you, Alexander!! You can't lose! You, of all people, can't!! You can't afford to lose, you fucker!!!'

I ranted and screamed like I never did before.

"Damn it! Damn it. Damn it...Damn it...Damn...I can't lose..."

After crying like an incorrigible bitch for a while, my mind finally settled down. And all that was left out of that was the sticky and dirty mess that I made.

"Milord, you shouldn't move around too much your body is still badly hurt from the fight." Warned Renata while assuming her maid duty as usual.

"...Others would boast their asses out in the streets if they messed with the Saint and lived to tell the tale, much less to wound the man when you're still so young and wet behind the ears. But here you are...Crying about it..." Scoffed Clara at the sight.

They wouldn't get it...They would never get it...

"I'm tired..." I couldn't even register what's what anymore. All I knew was that despite just waking up, my body had craved the solace of deep sleep yet again.

"Do have a good rest, Milord. I will bring Helios later to check up on your condition...And you, woman. Get out. Milord needs his rest."

After she finished changing my clothes, Renata yanked Clara out of her seat and dragged the woman harshly toward the door.

Left alone, I slowly closed my eyes, allowing the drowsiness to take control of me rather than the gnawing pain that lingered endlessly.

'...Ah...the others...They'll flip out...' The figures of my family appeared in my mind as my consciousness slipped back and forth.

"...I...need...to go...home-..."

Thus, I was comforted once again deep into darkness's loving embrace.