"Oh, I'd love to watch you practice sometime, Leticia!"

"Oh, please, call me Letty, you've been so kind to me, and I want to think of you as a friend!"

Mariana giggles as Jennifer pours her a second cup of tea, and she daintily reaches for a biscuit. It's been three months since that awful day, and finally, I've invited enough people, enough times, that I can make some headway in Plan: Don't Be A Fucking Shut-In.

It's been hard. Not because I'm a 46 year old in a soon-to-be seven body, surrounded by peers of my own age, and some a few years above. It's enjoyable to chat about hobbies. The books we like, embroidery (I'm not a fan, but I can see why some of the other girls like it), that wonderful bookstore cafe (Miss Donovan's been doing well since her grand opening, and I'm really happy about that, she deserves success!) boating... Everyone's got this wide range of interests, and even though I'm a little more... Plain compared to them, I can still join in.

Thank you, past me, for all the hard work you put into this kind of stuff!

Anyway, it's been hard because, as it turns out, even at this age, intrigue abounds. Mariana, for example, is a nice girl. She's a friendly girl. But for all that she is, her father has been competing with my father over mining rights, and, while it's all very civil, I'm a daughter who loves her father and wants him to get ahead, Mariana's the same... So I have to balance wanting to be her friend with not giving her openings to try something. And I think, right now, she's the same way.

And it's like this with a lot of the people at the table. Most of us wouldn't be here if we didn't enjoy each other's company (sorry, Karen, I'm trying really hard to include you, but you're making it so hard for me!)

But there's still hierarchy. There's still this undercurrent of this as a means of making connections, of being encouraged to turn up by family who want to either get on someone's good side, or bring someone down.

I hate it. I understand it. But I hate it. I want us to genuinely be interested in how the others are doing, not as some point scoring or espionage.

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And it isn't just that. Oh no, if it were just that, I'd put on my best corporate smile and bear with it.

No. Somehow, I've been appointed, wordlessly, as everyone's mediator. And since very few people want to say what's actually on their minds, it's been a living hell.

Take, for example, Phillipa, Jane, and Margary. On the surface? All smiles, all rainbows and sunshine. But...

"Margary, how have you been doing with your history tutor? I heard he's quite the item!"

"Oh, he's very charming, and he knows a lot about Late Therian Era. Have you been reading up on that, Phillipa?"

Inwardly, I'm screwing my eyes shut and wincing. What Phillipa's actually asking is "Hey, your history tutor is five years older than you, and there are rumours going around that you and he have been quietly going to that little cafe once every few days. Are you doing something... Illicit?"

And what Margary's saying is "Mind your own business, you stupid cow, I know you've been slacking off..."

And Jane? Jane's about to make it worse if I don't speak up.

"Oh, Vincent? No, he's been very open about his relationship with Selina. You know, the baker's daughter? She's slated to take over the family business, and his family seem to approve, I wish them all the best!"

I have a notebook, locked with all the spells I could get Liz to teach me to keep it away from prying eyes. It has names, and each page looks more like a rorschach test with some words hidden in it than what it is, a list of connections I memorise every damn time guests turn up.

Thank you, Mother, for teaching me to do that. And I sympathise with the look you gave that notebook. It had more lines in it than mine did, and I swear, if it gets like that later on...

"Oh, Karen, are you thinking of your academy scholarship already? I know you've been looking to get into the same one as Leticia."

Jane is not part of that "Mostly" everyone likes. She's a spiteful little bitch, and if it weren't for the fact she's part of a Marquess' family, we'd all like to tell her to get stuffed. And she finds Karen a particularly juicy target. After all, she's impulsive, and it's easy to get her to brag, and it's not like Karen's that popular either.

But I've been teaching Karen, and hopefully she'll take the subtle hint I'm sending her with my eyes.

"Well, Jane, I'm catching up on my studies, Goddess knows I have some work to do, but Letty's been helping me, and I've been helping Letty with her sword training. It's been fun!"

6/10, Karen. You didn't rise to the bait, and you only subtly shown she's pissed you off. But...

"Why, are you keeping up with Lynn, Karen? I'm sure that she's Letty's sword tutor... Wasn't Michael defeated in the last tournament by Lynn?"

Karen's starting to go red, and I don't blame her. Because while Jane's right, this is shitting on her pretty badly.

"Well... Letty and I were planning to spar later, but if you want to see how well she's caught up, we can do so directly after tea..." She looks at me "...Right, Letty?"

I smile, and nod. "Sounds good, I've been looking forward to it!"

Fuck you, Karen. You've made both our lives difficult now...