It's so bright.

Painfully bright. Considering the alcohol I'd had at the mixer before...

Before...

"Before you died, dear."

The voice was motherly and sweet, but the words... I DIED?!?

"I'm afraid so. Your poor little overworked heart couldn't take that one last rant you had about your boss. Who, yes, was exactly as terrible as you thought he was, the handsy bastard... Don't worry, I asked someone back in your world to give him a good seeing to. The least I could do, really."

I died.

"Yes."

I... Died.

"You seem to be somewhat stuck on that, dear. Should I perhaps move things along?"

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Move... My head was still aching, from the light, from the hangover (how can dead people get hangovers anyway?) from the revelation that I was dead, kaput, that it was all ove-

"Oh, but it's not all over, dear. You see, you lived a pleasant, caring life, so you're going to reincarnate!"

Rein-

Wait. You mean, sword and sorcery type deal, magic, fantasy... Demon Lord?

"Oh yes, definitely a Demon Lord. Well, Queen, to be more accurate. They were a Lord, but they decided they needed a change, and they've been enjoying it a lot so far!"

I... Okay, I'm not going to question that. But... What kind of life am I going to lead? Is this a cheat skill thing? Is-

"Now now now, I can already see the questions in your mind, so let me answer them in turn. It is a world of magic, you're going to be reincarnated as the first daughter of a Duchess, and you'll be able to learn things quicker than other people. Not unfairly so, but you'll be able to learn all those necessary noblewomanly things people seem to expect you to learn. You know, dancing, embroidery, territory management-"

TERRITORY MANAGEMENT?!? I'M-

"Calm down, calm down! You can always disinherit yourself later, or foist it off on some other poor person, that's what most of them do anyway. And besides, you might get a taste for it, don't knock it until you've tried it!"

I'm not going to like it. I can tell already.

"Oh dear, you're like a child looking at broccoli. Oh, yes, most of the things you're familiar with food wise are the same, so yes, you'll know most of what's safe and good to eat. Anyway, we've been talking for a while, and I do need to get your soul processed properly before you vanish, so hold tight, dear! Um... Metaphorically speaking."

Wait! Wait! I don't even know what my purpose in life is!

A light, airy giggle. "Oh, who actually knows that, dear!"

As my thoughts grew dim, and everything went dark, there was one last giggle, oddly breathy.

"Well... In this case, maybe I do... Tehe!"