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Chapter 6: "Sudden Expectations."
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Shae nearly fell asleep from the tense situation resolving so suddenly. Her mental exhaustion from fighting the fire qi catching up more swiftly than her physical exhaustion from the day of running.
A familiar acrid stench caught her nose and woke her up. She quickly got up and left the mess behind. She moved back to the water & earth qi location that Long first pointed out. She cycled a small amount of her qi to keep herself awake and energized. The lightning aspect seemed to act as a mild stimulant. Probably not as strong as coffee, maybe like a morning tea? She mentally gauged, though it drops much faster when I stop cycling, more like sugar then.
The short walk woke her up more and reminded her of her hunger. That made her first task to refill her belly, she needed to eat, even if her stomach still hurt, and the smell of the buns had restoked her appetite.
Looking through her pack, she found some things that would be easier to digest. She slowly snacked on a soft flat-bread and partly dried fruit, accompanied by lots of water. While eating, she thought over what she had learned. Reminding herself of all the little revelations about Dao and heavenly qi. The implication that divine qi has Dao built into it. Is that why my demigod qi always feels like a pale reflection? Does it need Dao for each part, judgment, wrath, and enlightenment?
I need to make a choice, to find a path that I want my demigod qi to follow. Do I even want those three? Or really, do I want wrath or something like it? The opportunity was there today, but spite is so wrong. Both for me and for divine qi.
Opportunity. She sighed and looked up at the sky. Not tonight, there is still work to do. More comprehension to discover first.
Once her stomach was settled, she decided to spend some time meditating and try to heal her injured stomach and its meridian. Maybe just an hour or so, I'll probably pass out if I go much longer. She didn't think it was terribly injured, but it was hard for her to tell, even once she was meditating.
She thought back to Elder Ghon's book on meridians that she had read while recovering. Then again while Ghon was recovering. He didn't have many books that she could easily understand. She recalled that how one mentally envisioned their meridians varied, but there were generally three parts. The impurities were the first and easiest to discern. These are thought to have formed at birth, or near to it. The lack of qi to disturb them, and then subsequent static nature of the body's state lead to their hardened state.
The book included some theories on how to keep them soft, but most were listed as being dangerous. Then only one Shae understood was to begin directed tempering as an infant, and maintain regular sessions as the child matured. The book did not include whether this would work, it was just a theory of the authors.
When asked, Elder Ghon suggested that anything close to tempering would kill the child. Though he refused to say why. He also commented that people probably had tried it, even knowing the risks. Because there were always people desperate for a strong cultivator in their family. Whether they succeeded or failed at any of the suggested methods, he assured her they would guard that secret with their lives. Though, he did insist that a clear and overwhelming advantage like that would be impossible to hide.
She pushed through the grimness and returned to the three meridian parts. The second and third parts were: the associated organ's flesh, and the metaphysical meridian itself. These were trickier to identify as they would vary depending on the cultivator's mental impression of them. That is to say, the mental image they saw during meditation was not a constant between cultivators.
So, Shae thought, the cave-like structure which kind of feels like a large mental space might be the metaphysical meridian. Leaving the large boulders and rubble-like blockages to be her actual stomach. Or it's reversed.
She thought, since the fire qi leaked to my channels so easily, the cave could be my stomach, if it was the boulders shouldn't the fire qi have been leaking from them?
She pushed her senses into the meridian again. Her personal qi slowly passed through the impurities and blockages to give her feedback on what was in the space. Ugh, this would have been easier while I still had the fire qi in my stomach. Then she remembered the pain of the spiteful fire qi, or maybe not, this is fine.
It took her a while to make any definite progress. Her qi moved so slowly, like it did when she was starting a cleansing attempt, but she couldn't then ignore it and let it cleanse. Instead, she needed to pull it back, or move it to the next boulder. She mixed in more of the calming divine qi, hoping it would at least heal some of the damage while she worked. That ended up being what let her find the first damaged piece, one larger boulder that sucked up the divine qi and her own qi in equal measure. Not particularly fast, but she had been on guard for anything happening, so she caught the change.
Okay, so this is probably part of my stomach that was damaged by the fire qi. Hmm, I suppose there could be more. There's no obvious connection between the pieces, or shape to suggest what any of them do. She groaned internally at the situation. Why is it like this anyway? ... is it because my senses are so poor, or because I don't know how my stomach works? I guess a general idea isn't enough to base a mental image on.
Ghon's advanced meridians book did have some sections on how various organs functioned, but Shae found it about as accurate as medicine based on the four humors. Ugh, I guess maybe you don't need perfect anatomical knowledge for cleansing progress? It'll be interesting once I'm at that stage. She felt the book had been an interesting read, even if she couldn't understand most of it. Like the details on how each meridian was far more complex than just the three parts mentioned, and why the connections to qi channels and the body were not counted as main parts.
She sighed to herself and quickly devised a plan to generally heal the whole meridian without disturbing it. It wasn't a complicated plan.
She slowly flowed her demigod qi and the cloudy divine qi through the meridian as efficiently as she could, letting the constant movement of the demigod qi do most of the work. It was more tedious due to the impurities obstructing the process. Generally the qi flowed around the sludge, but in some places she had to get it to move through to get to specific areas that she hadn't checked yet.
She didn't want to accidentally start cleansing, so she had used fairly thin qi. Taking some and mentally stretching it out to reduce its density. She didn't even know she could do that, until she tried it. Hmm, guess I need to try compacting my qi, too. Ugh, another chore on the list. The list was quite long, and Shae didn't actually expect to get through it. She assumed she would be able to throw half her theories and experiments out after a week in the sect's library.
While she remained cautious, she wasn't sure she even could cleanse the area. Actively trying to pierce through the impurities proved ineffective. Without the information on how to clear it properly she was stuck with the slow way. What little Wise Yungfan had provided on meridians was advanced notes for an acupuncturist to work from, and not detailed instructions for her.
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Eventually she grew more exhausted and left meditation with the intention to go sleep somewhere. Looking up, the position of the moon suggested she had spent more time in meditation than expected.
In crossing the open area full of cultivators she was distracted by Master Long and Elder Bai's sword training. A small group of cultivators were watching them, most in the guard's colors, including the large cultivator that had tried to stop her earlier. She joined the group, assuming their location would be safe to watch the violent training from.
Shae observed that watching the training battle was akin to watching a movie skip like a DJ was scratching out a track, without the expected musical backing. Though the violent noise was suitably dramatic, with high pitched whooshes and the occasional pang of steel clashing. The placement of the sounds seemed delayed but predictable enough. The whoosh coming after the two had disappeared in a blink, then a clang after they stopped.
The most Shae could figure out was that master Long's style involved a lot of sudden lunges. Mostly from a relaxed stance with his jian sheathed. Mostly a guess based on the display during his lecture. Bai was probably trying to replicate the move, it is training after all, but they were both moving so fast she could never tell who was attacking, and who was defending. Hmm, maybe it's more of a counter, or parry? Meh, I would have to ask someone. She knew she probably wouldn't, she wasn't that interested in swordplay.
Shae turned to glance at the geyser and got an idea where the Master had developed the move from. She was slightly disappointed. With nothing to see, and her qi still keeping her awake, she sat and fell into meditation.
This time she pushed her senses out. Focusing on the qi around her. The qi here was slightly denser than the road and towns. Though, much less dense than the mountain.
When in Minlin city, she had been surprised to discover that her sense of the qi around her seemed to be related to the density. With higher qi density letting her sense farther. She had been able to sense most of the recovery room on the mountain, but much less in the city.
Now, however, with practice and guidance, she could sense about twice as far. No where near the battle, and like her mindscape, everything was vague impressions. Though, she did sense what she was looking for. The qi wafting away from the training session had two major types. Water and Sword. She also saw that someone near her was using a technique, but she could not tell what qi was involved. Probably a neutral sight boost. Something to actually see the action. Ah, unless that needs to be a thinking speed improvement.
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She wasn't trying to find out the obvious aspects of their qi, though. Mentally prodding the qi as it passed around her, she tried to determine if either had Dao infused in it. And just what the hell is sword qi. Even after her discussion with Bai in Minlin city she was still lost to the concept. It did not help that he was more evasive than Master Long had been when trying to dance around her questions.
A tap on her shoulder brought her back to the physical world.
The big sect cultivator she had met before was looking down on her. "Wise Shae, please do not draw in the qi right here, theirs will injure you greatly." He motioned to the training duo.
Her eyes popped slightly at his change in disposition, and that he knew her name now. "Mhm. Thank you for your concern, Guardsman. Did you sense that I was?"
"Well, no. But you did pull on it, yes? It seemed worth the warning."
"Ah, good. I was worried that I did so accidentally." She tilted her head respectfully as additional thanks.
He shook his head. "You would know, especially if it was theirs. Foreign qi like that is quite painful."
She recalled her group ritual in Minlin city. "Ah, right. I remember that during the monks' enlightenment a few days ago. It was painful."
"So, that was you? I had expected someone more..." He coughed, "ah excuse the thought, please."
"Hah-ha, yes, I'm too young, I know it. It will be some time before more is expected of me. I take no offense, Guard...?"
"This one is Guard Tu. Pleasure to meet you, Heavenly Shae. As I see your entrance to the sect is all but guaranteed, you may call me Senior, if you wish. Apologies for the rough treatment earlier. It's hard to keep people away if we're too soft."
"Alright, I understand, Senior. And apology accepted. For my name, Zhi would be more correct, but Wise Shae is excellent. Or with any title other than Fairy, really."
His eyes widened at her correction, but he relaxed quickly. "Very well, Junior Zhi. If I may, could you share a few words, as you did with the military group?"
"I have little else but words to share, Senior." She smirked. "Most are not as effective as those were, so if you lower your expectations, we can talk on something."
He nodded, and they both noticed a few others listening in.
She hummed, "You are... Close to core, then? Looking for Dao or you've decided and have yet to grasp it?"
He coughed suddenly and roughly, then spat something to the side. "Apologies, I didn't expect you to strike for the heart." He looked to the others who were all clearly listening and trying not to be obvious. When a whole group is trying that, it becomes entirely obvious. Especially when they were all shifting nervously or had wide eyes from her last words.
She inhaled swiftly, "Ah right. Social propriety and what-not. At least the monks would speak in metaphor."
"Metaphor class is restricted to core elders." He supplied with a frown.
"Bwahaha!" She burst into laughter. "Haha ha.. Oh! You're serious! That's even funnier! Hahaha-" she rolled onto her side laughing. Someone used qi pressure or intent at her but she hardly noticed.
She did recover fairly quickly, though. Standing swiftly, wiping herself off, and giving the now staring group a polite bow. "Wise Zhi Shae greets her seniors." Most nodded back, some were frozen in surprise or disgust. "Let's start with classes then. Do you have a class about choosing a Dao, or steps to forming one?"
Guard Tu responded. "Outside of personal instruction, there is one lecture a year. Usually given by a guest lecturer. It was mid summer and we all attended."
"You all? So you are a group? Joined the same year?" She looked around.
He nodded. "We joined three years ago, and have all had enlightenments at this geyser, making us ideal for guard work at it."
"Um... Because you won't have another? Or are less likely to?" A few nodded at her suggestion. "That does make sense. Were they all about the same thing?"
The group looked confused, searching each other's faces.
"Really? You didn't talk about it?"
One of the observers began, "I would assume-"
"You've assumed wrong." She interrupted, then frowned at herself. "Sorry Senior, I also assumed." She offered him a quick and low bow.
"I, uh, think you got it. We likely assumed we all had the same revelation."
Nodding, she smiled. "But you didn't talk about it. The idea itself is not necessarily wrong, the act of assuming is. Or not checking it, at least." She paused. "One of the monks explained to me that... Well he gave me a metaphor, or a long proverb, really."
She cleared her throat and did her best wise old monk impression, "The heavens are like a forest. You may find a guide for the forest. The guide may lead you through, but the way will be picked clean."
The group waited.
"That's it?" Tu asked
Shae nodded. "I took it as explanation for how you all teach each other, or don't teach. You want the best for each other, so you hide your path. Make sure there are few game trails to follow. Even Master Long leads the new recruits just into the edge of the forest, then leaves so they can wander." She motioned to the group mediating around the geyser. "I think the goal is... That you figure it out on your own."
She paused to let them think, then waited patiently for the conversation to continue. It took long enough that she had to stifle a yawn and drink some water. Then, her mind wandered to her own words, Hmm, if Master Long's earlier behavior is that same method of teaching, I'm not sure that I'll particularly enjoy it.
Frowning she inspected the group again, they seemed less obnoxious than she expected. Ah! I should have seen it earlier. Their clothes are modest, they haven't told me not to talk down to them or obnoxiously defended against my criticism. And they're working as guards, they were peasants, like me.
She had to slow down and reconsider her approach. Or is that just pity? They've been in the sect a few years, I don't need to coddle or feel bad for them.
A few had turned back to the fight, and some looked like they were ready to leave. She cleared her throat, then spoke, "I won't pretend like I can give you better advice than a proper lecturer. But I think you do have an interesting choice here." She paused briefly to let them focus on her. "If it's expected that you won't have enlightenments to distract you, then sharing what you learned with each other could directly help that. This is because, as I understand it, plainly and clearly explaining the knowledge gained is unlikely to cause immediate enlightenment."
She gave them a breath or two to think it over. Looking between their faces more intently.
"Or?" Tu asked when she looked at him.
"Or you can use that to spur yourselves on. Maybe just have candid and vague conversations, one on one. To get a hint of what others discovered. Then contemplate and see if it leads you somewhere. I've also heard explaining something helps you understand it better." She glanced at Tu, "This may not have been the wisdom you all were looking for, but I hope it gives you something to think over." She shrugged, bowed shallowly, and turned back to the training.
She saw Bai sitting in meditation, which is when she realized she hadn't heard sword strikes recently. And all the guards are also deadly silent. She guessed a direction, the only other one since she had just pivoted. She turned to see Master Long right there, peering down with a slight smirk. "Has explaining that helped you understand it better, Miss Shae?"
She forced a cough, "Master Long, apologies if we disturbed your training." She bowed a bit deeper than necessary.
"You're not any more of a distraction to us than we had already created. Not a bad attempt at a lesson either. Good proverb your friend had, though I wouldn't have explained it as much as you did. You were correct to not say anything on Dao, that would have caused an interruption."
She nodded but remained silent.
He turned to the others. "To be clear, your role here is security. That does not preclude cultivation or contemplation in your free time, but I ask that you try to keep your enlightenments to one at a time, just so we have proper guard coverage, yes?"
They all loudly replied "Yes, Master Long." and bowed.
He looked at the stiff and serious group. "Thank you, and that was a joke. Never intentionally limit your own or other's enlightenments." He glanced over at Bai. "We are taking a short break, those of you on duty should take this opportunity to complete a patrol."
Several bowed and walked away.
"And you, little Shae? Will you contemplate the geyser? Most gain a decent enlightenment from it eventually. I thought I saw that you were close to something during my lecture."
She tried to remember what he meant, wiped at her face, and tried to stifle a yawn. "If I was more well rested, I'd cultivate. As for the lecture... I think I only got close to existential horror."
"Was my lecture that bad?" He half smiled, his face was mostly expressionless.
"Ah-heh. No, I was thinking about something else."
"Something other than my lecture, that's not a vote of approval."
"Agh, no... I'm going to have to explain it, won't I?"
"If you'd like to understand it more, then yes."
"Hah-ha, fine." She took a deep breath. "Throughout the lecture you were talking as though there is so much mystery in the geyser. But for me: I feel none. I know how it works so it's hard to be amazed. I was trying to think of it as something that was mysterious, overlaying something else, and stumbled into horror territory because of the other thing."
"Hmmm. Well, I suppose some might find the truth horrifying. And it's interesting to hear that you have it all figured out."
She frowned at him. "I don't, I'm not so arrogant as that. For the geyser, all geysers, I don't need to figure them out because I've learned how they work already."
"So, you need to be reminded of your own lesson? You've assumed there is nothing new to learn?"
She flinched, then opened her mouth to respond. "..." She took a few breaths to think. "Yes, there is always more to learn. Right now I'm interested in teasing apart the secrets of your and Elder Bai's qi. Especially the sword qi. I still don't understand it."
"Well, the geyser will wait, and Guard Tu has already warned you about our qi. Though, I will clear up an earlier misconception. Those you see meditating are not cultivating, they are simply observing. Some practice their sensing skills, if they know how. They are to simply sit and observe the geyser, waiting for it to erupt."
Shae looked at the gathered group again with new eyes. "I ran over 170 li today. If I sit down to watch water boil I will fall asleep."
"Hah! Well, I never say no to a good nap. Oh-ho, Bai is ready. Enjoy your time here, Miss Shae."
"Thank you, Master Long." She bowed.
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