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Chapter 44: "A Fresh Start."
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Shae had risen from meditation with the sunrise and now found herself rushing. Mistress Ping generally had the caravan moving just after sunrise and she sent the scouts out first, so Shae was late.
She carefully rushed through the next manifold journey practice, luckily it focused on strength and exercise again and not philosophical questions that she didn't have time to think over.
It was called Controlled Push. After clearing the halfway mark, one needed to keep momentum and keep moving instead of slowing down, according to the monk's writing. It was a sprinting and endurance exercise. It encouraged her to quickly rush forward with qi reinforcement, pushing her speed and limits, then slow and withdraw her qi until she could feel the damage she just caused by pushing her body.
She first thought it was a strange practice to start so late in the journey, but perhaps there is more nuance than I have time to consider this morning.
She sought out Mistress Ping before finding breakfast, which might have been a mistake. The savory-sweet smells of cooked meat and honey sweetened porridge teased her as she approached the woman's campsite.
They had nearly packed it up, but someone was still yet to finish their breakfast. One plate sat out, untouched.
"Miss Shae! I heard you returned, but it's nice to see you reporting for duty." Ping smiled.
"Mistress Ping." Shae returned the smile, and gave a distracted glance at the uneaten food.
"That is why you're here, yes?"
"Uh- yes, of course. I did agree to scout the whole trip, I believe."
The caravan master shrugged. "I don't recall the exact agreement, and after the excellent work you put in clearing the road, I wouldn't complain if you needed to change it?"
"Ah, no. I'm still comfortable scouting. Honestly, staying away from certain people in the caravan is probably for the best."
"Oh? If someone in the 'van was giving you trouble, I'll whip them into line."
"No. None of them. The sect members, actually, well, just one or two I don't get along with, for personal reasons."
"Ah. I see. Nothing I can do about that, then. Best to talk to Master Long about it."
Shae couldn't stop the frown that flashed across her face.
"Hmm, I take it that he's part of the problem? Hopefully today won't be worse for you, then."
"Hmm?"
Mistress Ping gave her a slightly pitying smile. "Because of the rot-dog attack yesterday, we've asked the sect to help scout. Master Long and one other will be assisting throughout the day."
Shae grimaced slightly.
"That bad?"
The young woman controlled her face, giving an apologetic smile, and a wobbly hand gesture. "We had a disagreement last night. I will try to remain professional. I imagine avoiding any casual conversation will help."
Mistress Ping nodded slowly. "I think I follow. If you need a break, though. Ask him to swap with the other cultivator, or come to me and I'll assign someone else."
"The other cultivator?"
She shrugged. "He was a little vague and mysterious in that stuck up cultivator way."
Shae chuckled. "Stuck up. Heh, that's a much nicer way of saying it than the words I used."
Ping's eyes showed surprise, but her mouth smiled wide.
The young woman hummed. "I think I might know who the other cultivator is. Though, I only know their nickname: Apollo."
"Apollo." Ping tried out the strange name. "Wonder why Long didn't just use that name?"
Shae shrugged. "I suspect you'd have a hard time asking for them directly, they prefer to... keep to themselves."
Ping thought for a few breaths. "Ah. One of those. Well, they'll make for a good scout, then. So long as they report properly."
The young woman dragged her own attention away from the still streaming breakfast. "Hmm, yes. Though, they might report as someone else. Probably just one of the guards, but who knows, maybe you'll see me an extra time today."
"You? Oh. A disguise specialist? Interesting. I've probably talked to them already and not known it then. Anything I should watch out for?"
Shae thought, "Steam qi, if you can sense it. Though they might keep that a bit restrained now, I called them out on that yesterday."
Ping shook her head.
She leaned in close to whisper, "Weapons and accessories, then." Standing straight up she patted her sword and adjusted her pack.
"Hmm. Thank you." Ping nodded. "Did you want to leave that pack with my wagon? Looks uncomfortable."
She considered it, then shook her head. "I'm used to the weight, and I have snacks and things in here." Her eyes drifted again.
"Did you eat breakfast yet?" The woman raised an eyebrow.
"Ah. No. I decided to report for duty first."
Ping nodded. "If we needed to leave early then I would have agreed with that decision. Today is going to be short, though." She swept her gaze over the young woman, then waved her at the seat in front of the breakfast. "This is actually an extra portion. No one will miss it."
"Really?" Shae asked, but quickly sat and grabbed a piece of grilled meat. It was much like bacon, though it looked like a different cut.
"Yes, I usually have an extra portion of every meal made. Someone always forgets or skips a meal. Then regrets it later. Means I can charge them a shiny silver sliver for it." She smirked.
Shae froze with a spoon full of porridge in her mouth. "Uhm?" She mumbled.
"Haha, go ahead, no charge. I think I recall our agreement would cover feeding you, under some circumstances."
Shae smiled and nodded. Once her mouth was empty, she said, "Thank you, this is very good."
"There are some benefits to being in charge. Great food is one of them."
"So, how much would you charge?" The young woman asked.
"Depends who's asking. For you?" Ping paused to think, eyes scrutinizing the cultivator across from her. "A full crown."
Shae almost coughed out porridge. She clamped a hand over her mouth and nose as the reaction passed, then swallowed carefully. "Well, that's more than just a sliver of silver, but I suppose..." She looked at the meal and nodded.
"Oh, not a silver crown. A full gold crown." The woman smiled devilishly, showing plenty of teeth.
"What!?" Shae croaked. Her mouth flapped helplessly for a few beats. "That's absurd, I don't even have that much."
"Ha ha! Yes you do. Your roots are showing that you think you don't. You're not used to the absurd buying power a cultivator can harness, yet." She flourished an empty hand, a coin appeared in it as the gesture completed. Shae recognized it as the sect coin she had entrusted to the woman. Ping smiled and waggled her eyebrows.
"Oh." Shae said as she recognized the coin. "Long didn't demand you return it?"
She shook her head. "He hasn't mentioned it. I suspect he has already forgotten he lost it to you. Even if he remembers, he probably thinks less of it than you would a small silver."
Shae stared at the coin, forgetting her meal for a moment.
Ping laughed again. A low chuckle that swelled into a proper laugh. "It's always fun to see the new ones figure it out." She got the words out before laughing at Shae's expression again. She flourished the coin a second time, and it vanished just as easily. "Eat up." She patted her on the shoulder while walking away.
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Shae got on the road with a slightly too-full stomach. She had tried not to overeat, but the food was very good, and her hungry teenage body refused to let her stop.
Luckily she had out-smarted her stomach by packing away some of the meal into one of her waxed-cloth food wraps.
"I wasn't expecting the first thing that qi practice would get to test was my stomach." She grumbled as she got up to speed in running ahead of the caravan.
Once she had determined that she wasn't too full to run, she picked up the pace. Following the qi practice, she pushed herself to see what kind of speed she could manage.
As a scout, there wasn't a specific distance she had been told to keep ahead of the caravan. Five to ten li was what the scouts recommended. Enough that if something came up she could get back quickly, and with lots of room still ahead. Since she could return quicker, she could also scout closer to the 'van, if she really wanted to.
Today she was interested in being far ahead, partly to test herself with the new qi practice. Though mostly, she had to admit to herself, in the hope she wouldn't run into Master Long.
She was nearing the first ten li rest-stop when she decided to slow, withdrawing the qi reinforcement, as per the practice. During the run, she found it hadn't increased her strength or speed nearly as much as her own method. Though it still seemed enough to close the strength difference between her normal and divinely cleansed limbs. Not entirely, but enough for her loping run to still be effective.
She suspected it was actually applying more resistance to her movement, while also increasing her strength. Since the divine flesh couldn't be reinforced, it was only restricted. She wasn't really upset about this. Finding a new way to balance her strength seemed important. A way to add resistance for training was also an excellent technique. "Like weighted clothing." She mumbled and smiled to herself.
She slowed to a walk, turning off the main road and onto the marked path that led to the traveler's well. Taking a moment to feel out what muscles she had pushed during the run. The nearly faded qi practice also seemed to amplify the soreness her muscles and joints felt. "Amazing. This is going to be really useful for training." She said out loud, while rounding the final corner.
"Hmm, what is, Wise Shae?" A familiar voice said.
"Ugh. Master Long." She sighed and felt her mood collapse.
"Yes, I am. But you were referring to a technique? I'm surprised again by your resourcefulness in finding so many on the way to the sect. Even if they are likely to be subpar, when compared to our vast libraries."
She frowned at his words. "Are you dead set on annoying me with your first words every time we meet, Master Long?"
"Uhm. Just stating the facts. You didn't take that as a compliment?"
"Oh, half a compliment, sure. Yet, the other half was an insult to those I received the qi practice from. Was that not the intent?" She crossed her arms at him.
"It was not. I was merely trying to show the benefits the sect will provide."
"Are you that insecure about what my decision to join will be?"
He frowned back at her. "I had really hoped to avoid this today, Miss Shae."
"Then perhaps you should have avoided me, Master Long." She turned to leave.
"Wouldn't that interfere with our scouting? Hard to work together without any discussion, isn't it?"
Shae stopped and ran a hand through her hair. "That assumes we can work together, or that we even need to. Surely your perception and senses far outstrip mine. Why have us both out here at all? I'm not going to catch anything you didn't already sense a few li before I would."
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"You might be thinking too highly of my abilities."
"Might be?" She raised a skeptical eyebrow.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Shae noted it was one of the first explicitly clear signs of emotion from him. Her eyes went wide with surprise as she realized that, then recovered quickly by taking a drink from her water skin. It was nearly empty.
"Could we, perhaps, treat today as a fresh start?" Long asked.
Shae shook her waterskin, frowning at it. Long's interruption has stopped her plans to fill it. She sighed and moved back to the well, working the pump to give her time to think.
Once she got the water started she said, "I think. Fresh starts and clean slates would require us to forget an awful lot. We would need to approach it from new directions. Showing new aspects of our personalities so that the same ones didn't lead to the same arguments."
Long slowly nodded once. "To avoid the same pitfalls. We would need to know what to avoid, yes?"
She glanced at him with a frown. "Have I not made that perfectly clear?"
"Well, it goes both ways, yes?"
"Sure." She clipped the word and turned back to the pump.
"I suppose we should clearly state the behaviors we plan to change, or simply what the other is bothered by. I can start, if you like?"
Shae clenched her teeth through a breath, then said, "I would think, if we were that aware of the other's dislikes, we should simply avoid that behavior in the first place. But yes, fine. Go ahead."
"And that is why this step is important. Making sure we do understand one another. Clearing the air, so to speak." Long said the last with an obvious smirk on his voice, since Shae couldn't see his face.
She clenched her teeth again. Why is this man so grating? She tried to push past and focus on his explanation.
"So, I believe you are frustrated with the way I chose to teach. While it varies somewhat from the other elders at the sect, I assure you we do all attempt to ensure our students have the greatest opportunity for learning and obtaining enlightenments. Yet, I do understand that leading questions can be quite frustrating. Most would prefer simple answers, and by not giving you them I have been a source of mystery instead of knowledge."
Shae had stopped pumping the well to glare at the man.
"And yourself?"
She continued to glare.
A few breaths of time passed before Long spoke again. "I take it, by your obvious hostility, that I missed the mark somewhat?"
Shae took a deep inhale and said, "Somewhat."
"... Would you care to... Elaborate?"
"Did you hear a single thing I told you last night?"
"I like to think I am a very good listener." He nodded.
"So, last night, I told you you were not being mysterious. Then I asked you to stop treating me like a student and have a conversation like an adult. What about what you just explained should give me the impression you heard and understood that?"
He managed to look just slightly confused through his usual stony expression. "You are an adult. All of the new sect recruits are adults. Unlocking your spirit root so that you may begin cultivation, whether or not you choose to, that is the mark of adulthood."
Shae's eyes went wide and she pressed her lips in a frown. Turning away from him she set her head down on the well pump and put her arms around her head. Then she screamed, her sleeves slightly muffling the sound.
While screaming, she swore quickly a few times in English, "Fucking-bloody-clueless-idiot-asshole." Then threw in more non-specific cursing as her breath ran low.
She took a deep inhale and screamed out her frustration again, then stayed leaning against the well-head, panting to catch her breath.
Long opened his mouth again, "I can understand your frustration at a miscommunication, but is swearing at me in a language I don't understand really necessary?"
She didn't have the energy to glare at him, or to yell in frustration again so she let her intent flail in his direction.
"Hm. Yes, that is how I understood the intent of your words. Even as messy and undirected as your intent is, the basic meaning of highly emotional words is easy to guess. Take that as a lesson not to do that in the sect either."
"As messy..." She mumbled and rose to her full height. "That was supposed to be messy. If I wanted something better you would know it." She growled at him while shaping her intent into something more deadly.
Staring at the man, for as much as she disliked him, she still didn't wish for his death, so it couldn't be killing intent. Yet, last night she had found a clearer angle to view the threat of violence from. Warning.
It started as the simple headman's ax directed at her during her inquiry, then morphed into the less personal guillotine. The blade grew larger and rose higher above the man as she focused. Something even less personal. She pushed it higher, above the clouds and the blade became a tungsten rod dropped from orbit, No, what's less personal? That's still directed by humans. Quickly it became the idea of a meteor, then more firmly, a comet. Falling and striking anywhere, at any time.
"If I wanted to direct my intent at you, Master Long. I would. And you would know it." She pushed the comet higher, further away but falling faster. But comets can still be seen, watched for and possibly avoided. She let the intent fade to conserve her mental focus.
She inhaled slowly to gather her thoughts, the ones more relevant to their conversation. "Context, Long. Clearly, if you can determine from intent that I am swearing at you specifically, then you can determine from context what I meant when I said to treat me like an adult. Reaching the age of adulthood doesn't make one mature enough to be treated as one. Another decade of study at the sect prepares them for their life but does not automatically confer maturity and emotional intelligence."
She took another deep breath. "You asked for a fresh start, yet our initial start wasn't awful. At Jian Quan you were not like this. What happened? What are you trying to do that is driving your awful decisions and grinding against my nerves."
He opened his palms before him. "Merely filling my role as Elder of the sect. I assumed it was a simple matter of teaching preferences that caused last night's disagreement."
Shae took a deep breath and tried to push past her irritation. "Yes, that is a large part of it. I dislike your methods, that should be plain and clear. My own past gave me ample time to learn and teach. I've had the chance to impact the lives of hundreds, maybe thousands of students. Not as much as their regular teachers, yet still, being a teacher was part of my role."
Another deep breath and she raised a hand to forestall Long's possible interruption. "Perhaps it would be right of me to apologize for letting that fuel my anger. The world here is different, we never needed to contend with the possibility of enlightenment, or the potential that our simple teachings could be used to move mountains." Another short breath of air as she felt her emotions rise again. "Yet, never, never have I seen someone teach as poorly as you. Do your students actually appreciate the ignorant mysteries you claim to supply? Do they truly require the most blunt and obvious questions to be supplied to them?" She found herself nearly laughing at him now.
He frowned, of course. "My students, especially my disciples, appreciate my clear and concise guidance. They appreciate not being shown a clear path, not being given a roadmap, but being subtly led in the correct direction. They appreciate the numerous enlightenments my words lead them to. Do not think you know the mountains above you when you've not even looked at them." He splashed her with water while clearly restraining his killing intent. The tip of his Jian-like intent hovering over his shoulder, distant, but pointed directly at her heart.
Shae was soaked with water, much more than the night before. She was glad she set her pack to the side, although it is somewhat weatherproof. She took a few breaths to wipe the looser drops of herself, push her wet hair out of her face and generally compose herself.
"Fine," she said, "Fine. I apologize for judging your methods too quickly."
He just nodded, a slight smile beginning.
Shae interrupted it. "But. I must question your methods. When we first met, you avoided giving answers like they were poison. Later citing that I was not your student, so teaching me would be irresponsible, or something to that effect. Now you say that you are acting as teacher, but you still don't give answers, you still respond with... Bleh." She waved a hand, trying to find a way to not start insulting him again, "with what you call mysteries. A descriptor I disagree wholeheartedly with."
Again she took a breath with a hand raised to signal she would continue, "So. Two opposite cases where you fail to provide answers to questions. So when, Master Long, when will you guide your student? How long must they flounder and drown in their own ignorance before you save them? Years? Decades? Just how long will you let your students, your own disciple, fail to solve a problem before you step in to directly guide them? How long, if it might cost them an enlightenment?"
Long's demeanor hadn't been improved by the question, he was back to vaguely threatening her with his restrained intent. "There is no one answer, girl. Each student, each disciple is different, and that decision will be made by me at the time I see fit."
Shae waited for more. Her questioning gaze unchanging.
Long splashed her with water again. "That is for questioning your seniors. It is the least punishment you will receive at the sect. Consider very carefully when to do so. And consider that never is often the answer." He paused for a beat. "Never is also how often you should direct your killing intent at your seniors."
She felt his intent sharpen, ready to strike out if she took action against him. She held back her prepared response, it isn't quite time yet. "Never. That is your answer. Never will you provide clear direction to your students. Yes, I know you didn't say that, but your intent is clear, Master Long. You will continue to provide your strange definition of guidance, but you never really intend to simply tell someone what to do." She nodded at him. "Never, is also my answer to you."
He raised an eyebrow, but otherwise held his stance, waiting for her.
"To the question you won't ask, because that would require far too much spontaneous action on your part. You have been testing me. Attempting to teach me in your inept way because, and I think I just realized this. Because you wanted me to be your student, maybe your disciple."
His eyebrow dropped, his face becoming even more of a stony mask than usual.
She chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure you might say it is not my decision. That I need your approval first, before you ask me, which would just be a formality as I would of course accept. But I will save you the time and effort of continuing that charade. Never. I will never be your student. I will never be your disciple. I refuse your pathetic guidance. If you teach a class at the sect I will drop it like it will burn me. If that costs me years or decades of advancement, so be it."
"Foolish child. That truly isn't for you to decide. You cannot simply drop a class. They are mandated by the curriculum." He scolded through his stony mask.
"And yet. I will. Because I know how to take action. I do more than simply react to the world around me. There are some things you cannot control, Master Long, especially if you don't act. And I am one of them." With these last words she focused on her intent again. It had changed over their conversation. Now it was a more subtle threat. Not a physical object falling from space, but an unknowable power descending from beyond the stars.
Back on Earth, one of the more distressing facts Shae had learned about deep space related to supernovae. Specifically that they could release unfathomable quantities of energy in the form of gamma ray bursts. Energy and energized particles that were undetectable, traveling at the speed of light, and in the worst case scenarios were theorized to be able to wipe out all life on the planet, or enough to cause mass extinction. A truly existential threat to life.
Intellectually, she knew such an event was practically impossible. Occurring billions of light years away, too far to be dangerous. And so unlikely to actually hit a single planet as to be not even slightly worth considering. Still, the fact it was possible felt important, it drove a certain existential fear, if she let it.
She harnessed that fear now, and showed it to Long. Not in the simple explanation of what it was, or how impossibly unlikely it was to happen. Just as a threat from beyond the stars, unpredictable, unfathomable, and unstoppable.
She saw his face pale as he slowly understood a new existential threat to his life. Something not even of the heavens, but beyond. "No." He croaked out quietly.
A rustle in the trees behind them drew their attention. An emaciated hound made of dirt and clay staggered out of the bushes some forty paces behind Shae. Its beady stone eyes set either on her or the well, she couldn't tell which.
Unfortunately for it, the two cultivators around the well were engaged in a battle of intent. Both of their ire crashed down upon it like a hammer from the heavens. The loose collection of earth held together by the will of a spirit was overwhelmed by crushing intent. It instantly collapsed into a pile of dry earth. The few larger stones that once protected its center were now the tallest part of it. One glistened with a sheen of condensed qi.
A single heartbeat passed and Shae felt Long's Dao descend on the area. An overreaction to the lone already-destroyed creature, but perhaps she had put him on edge. This allowed her to more than confirm that his Dao was pressure related. He used it to brutally shatter the creature's attempt at a core, and she briefly felt how he used its focus on pressure to squeeze the thing. The glistening rock had no chance and broke apart with a small release of stored qi.
The pressure that forges the blade, hammering the surface and concentrating along the edge and at the tip. She nodded. Smart enough idea, it's like an extension of blade qi. And there's something else... I don't think this is how he usually wields it... hmmm ... Oh, that's disappointing. She sighed. Right, it's about water as well.
She watched the poor creature crumble to dust; forced herself to stand unphased by Long's Dao. It had been heavy at first, yet she had pushed away Elder Ghon's once before, and the old monster's was much more convoluted. Back then, it had also been directed at her, which this wasn't. It still blanketed the area, and had a strange effect on almost everything: flat surfaces bowed inwards like a great force was being applied, making their edges and points all the sharper. The enhanced features caught the light where they hadn't before, reflecting their sharpened edges as a sword would. Even the air itself sat heavy, dense and threatening to restrict movement like the bottom of a deep, watery trench, though that sense of it thinned as one neared the edge.
Long hitched his breath and began retracting his Dao. "Apologies, Miss Shae, are you..." He trailed off upon finally looking at her, standing unperturbed by his Dao's presence.
As he pulled away, she acted with her own strange power. Grabbing at the retreating ideas in the air, getting a better feel for them. It wasn't the clear, fully formed picture she had seen of Ghon's Dao, but she still got a better sense of it.
The older cultivator felt the resistance. His stony mask slipped. Showing a bewildered old man.
"Hah." Shae laughed once at him, then mentally discarded any snide remarks that came to mind. She grabbed her pack, careful of the sharp edges and sharper points and walked out of the clearing.
He did not react, but simply watched her go with an open mouth.
Once she cleared the corner, out of his line of sight and out of his Dao pressure, she finally let herself stumble to the ground. Her qi, mixed with enlightenment qi, rushed through her system. It now went to work helping her recover, instead of simply slowing her inevitable failure. She tried to gasp for breath quietly, and forced herself onwards.
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