November 27, 2018

Yeah, that’s me, devouring the bloody carcass. Bit after bit, chunk after bloody chunk.

Hey! I can’t help myself; hunger really is a bitch.

Well, I guess it is shocking for anybody to see the sight of human flesh being devoured with such a carefree attitude.

The display really wasn’t pretty; it could easily pass for that new age horror and gore stuff or even a Tarantino film. It might not be the best of manners to introduce myself with my meal still inside my mouth.

Can’t help it now.

I gotta eat too, and you’re probably thinking, ‘can’t taste good.

You’d be half right, but with the blood sucked dry the meat is tender, and tastes like a very rough dry rub on some tender meaty ribs…Well let’s continue on, I am upsetting myself.

I want to apologize right now for the snarky remarks that I make and will continue to make throughout. Oh, and for the mess, you are seeing now.

All together I would say, rather I apologize for being myself.

Now onto the topic at hand. A story about an ordinary 21-year-old bachelor who was neither good looking nor had good taste. Another about a tasteless, tactless Bitch! who stole that ordinary man's life away.

Honestly, I want to be even more descriptive with how much I hate the bitch, but hey, kids might read this, and I need to be an exemplary role model.

Now onto the good stuff, OCT,20 the day it started, my birthday.

Well, starting with my birthday this predicament itself would need explaining, but the ‘BIGGER’ picture would need even more explaining. For me to explain this as a whole, first you need to know who I am, then you need to know why I am in this situation, then to piece together this shit storm of a story, you need to understand what has happened to me, and how I ended up as what I am.

Now before I go into some mansplaining of these events. I want you all to know my train of thought. I am no monster, despite the bloody clothes and flesh hanging from my mouth while my unusually long nail protrudes into this (former) man's skin and flesh.

I didn't ask to be in this situation. Honestly looking back now, I can only blame myself, but trivial matters go beyond me now. Even as I’m biting into this crisp, Succulent, meaty…. bloodless soaked tender… Whoa, sorry got a little Sidetracked. Where was I again?

Oh yeah, I’m not such a bad guy that I would put myself willingly in this edgy B-horror movie situation. I have feelings of remorse, and pride too, just not for the fellow... well, a former fellow in front of me being consumed by…You guessed it’s me.

My poor judgment might have led to this as a whole, but I am just a (not so) ordinary simple guy. I like to go to the movies alone, go on strange midnight walks... alone, consume buckets of chicken or hot wings on any weekday, alone, oh and even go on date nights alone…

Damn, why am I telling this story again? OK, maybe I'm not so much ordinary, rather than completely shut out from what most would call the norm, but honestly, I’m harmless.

Hold I’m trying to get around this bone or… tendon, I think? The juicy parts are always the hardest to get to.

No really, it really is circumstances that I am in this situation.

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OK, I guess it’s time I do some explaining to prove my innocence here.

The name is Charles Strass.

Now that that is out the way, I really was just your average college dropout, shut-in skating by on allowance and dead end bi-weekly pay. I looked at life like everybody else, get through it, day by day. (Ok that’s a lie I was totally sporadic about my choices which led my dumbass here) I looked at women up and down like some kind of mongrel, I spent money on useless things, I did useless things. Looking back on all of the trivial matters now…. Damn do I miss them. I’m not saying my life has taken a turn for the worst but, yeah… I actually am. From zero to negative zero is where I am at right now.

If you haven’t guessed by now this IS one of those ‘how my life got flipped upside down kind of stories, and not the Bel-air kind either. No, this story has a far more sinister theme, involving strange occult shit, poor decisions, and some bitch named Veronica, who is by far more to blame than anyone in this story,

I know it’s not much of an explanation, but like I said mansplaining the best I can.

As this story progresses, please keep in mind the kind of person I’ve led on to be.

For It plays no factor or huge role, but I AM A GOOD GUY. I think!? Please do it for me if not for yourself. Upon all the vulgar words used in my vocabulary, the bib I had neglected to even use, and obviously my elbows on the table. (My table manners could use some work) I would say we are right on track you should just see me as any ordinary simple-minded guy with bad manners, but a heart of gold.

Oh, If you hadn’t kind of guessed by the vague way, I had been telling this story, Yes, I am a Vampire. Half might be a better way to explain it. But I am indeed that bitch’s thrall or her man(boy)servant.

No, your first thought is already off, trust me it is. I do not look like Robert Pattinson or Count Dracula from Bram Stoker’s, I’m guessing masterpiece.

Honestly, I’ve never seen it.

Spiked and slicked back hair just aren't my thing.

My skin also isn’t pale and doesn’t glow In sunlight. Well, I rarely did go outside, but that's another story.

Onto my abilities as a half-vampire.

I can run faster but not any faster than normal. I can heal broken bones and cuts fast, but not as well as other so-called Vampires. Takes some time honestly and hurts like a bitch. Pain is still a motherfucker, even being a vampire.

YES! I do suck blood. (I know it’s been on your mind since I’ve brought the word Vampire up don’t play dumb) Not only does it taste horrible, but the taste of metal is also intensified making it almost intolerable to me. (Due to being half human and half vampire, my other senses are heightened) Good thing is, it’s only, when necessary, measures come up. Bad thing is that’s like always in my case.

The sun is Extra Bad for us, doesn't kill us on the spot, but leaves bad skin lesions. Trust me, they hurt like a son of a bitch. There are upsides, though. I am immortal…unless a couple unseen events happen. Which in Vampires, wait I mean Half Vampires Case? Those unforeseen events could happen more likely. In that case, I am not ‘that' Immortal.

I can scale walls which is cool by my standards, but I end up sore and my hands always hurt.

I have no bodily condition by any means.

So yeah, let’s just say… it fucking sucks.

It’s so glorified on the TV screen. The least being a Vampire could do was make me good looking, and have an amazing body, by some unforeseen measure.

God Damn you blonde bimbo.

Damn almost dropped the pinkie. It is a delicacy to us Vampires. Nah, I’m just fucking with you now. I can say that because I am one. So, it’s not discrimination.

Honestly, I’m more of ‘ME’ if I say so myself. Yeah, that means take the hint I’d rather not bore you with extraordinarily average details. There’s no chiseled jaws or abs here to see ladies, so you can go ahead, put this book down.

Now if you’re looking for a hard-hitting mystery suspense about Vampire Lore, Hunters, and Monster romance, that’ll keep you on your toes to the very end.

You’ve also come to the wrong place.

This story is BEYOND AVERAGE, so average you might stray off reading, please do mind if you’re still here. Beyond the averageness of this story lies a rather tragic tale of beings not of this reality, you could say, fated meetings, and an ending that is not very joyous for either party involved. Now if you’re still here after all my rambling, even with me chomping so delicately on my food, I applaud you.

It looks like it’s time for me to get into how I came into this dark nightmare of a world.