Chapter 6

Armaments

"Leuke Flamvel," the old priest shouts first. "Swordmaster Hero!"

When Leuke steps forward, however, Genstai stays put. Instead, the dandy lifts a long, massive sword wrapped in linen from the first box and carries it over like he's doing the swordsman a favor, and it's he who explains the gift.

"The Imperial House grants you the Ryutaiji Steel! May it cut through the darkness before you!"

The dandy's voice sounds like his balls never dropped, but that doesn't make the reveal any less impressive when Leuke pulls the linen off with one hand to reveal a freaking buster sword with a flame-blackened surface. The blade must be five feet long, and as wide as the length of my forearm at the base, with another foot and a half of handle. The guard and hilt look like they're engraved with a dragon motif.

The whole thing must weigh a ton, but he holds it in one hand like it's nothing. Must be that 150 strength putting in the work. He even gives it a little experimental spin to check the balance.

Only after marveling over the weapon does he remember his manners and give a bow to the imperial couple before returning to the line with the rest of us.

"Tassim Miyan! Shadowstalker Hero!"

The dandy, who at this point is clearly some crown representative, pulls out a pair of arming swords for her. Also, freaking Shadowstalker. Because of course she had to be even cooler.

"The Imperial House grants you the Fangs of Luwei! May you sink them deep into the heart of corruption!"

She, too, gives a quick twirl of the blades, but it's much more professional than Leuke's distracted curiosity, and then she turns on her heel to give a sharp, right angle bow to the imperial family.

It continues in this manner for the other two. Benarou (Sendai), a Battlemage, receives the Staff of Six, an obsidian rod etched with symbols I assume represent the elements and topped with a diamond setting nearly the size of my fist. It looks like a pimp cane to me, but the lightning bolt he unleashes from it into the sky convinces me to keep it to myself.

One of the clusters of nobles are much more animated when his name is mentioned, too. Relatives? It wouldn't surprise me at all to learn he's a capitol boy.

Seina, whose family name is Bibe, is a Theurgist, and is given the Rod of Order. It's a mace with a green stone set into the middle of the head and a chain coming off the bottom that connects to a spiky, metal incense burner. Nobody can tell me somebody didn't use that thing as a flail at some point, especially when it's full of hot ash and embers.

Surprisingly, the dandy didn't so much as take notice of her most prominent feature. Either he's got inhuman self control or, nevermind his balls dropping, somebody chopped them off before puberty.

... Wait, are eunuchs a thing here? Some part of me feels like that's a can of worms I don't really want to open.

"Remmi Lee! Gunslinger Hero!"

I ignore the murmuring from the onlookers as they try to place my class and instead do my best to imitate the others as I step forward.

It's only now, as he approaches me with a bag wrapped in strips of cloth, that I realize the dandy is barely taller than I am. However, there's something very different about his demeanor that wasn't there with the other heroes.

He's had an air of an inflated ego throughout the entire proceedings, but now it seems uniquely directed at me. The way he grins out of one side of his mouth, the way his head is tilted just back enough so that he seems to look down his nose toward me without giving up plausible deniability.

... It's been over half a decade since I saw it last, but I recognize it immediately. He's got Stuck-Up-Bitch written all over him. That look of social superiority from the school slut right before she shames her victim in the middle of the cafeteria.

I'm immediately on edge before he even starts speaking.

"Forgiveness, Hero, but your unique class has caught the Imperial House quite unprepared. We do not know what sort of strange ammunition gun are, but if you are a slinger, then it is our hope that iron bearings will at least suffice for the review."

No, he fucking doesn't. He hopes it's a humiliatingly horrible fit. Joke's on him, I'm already planning for a bad showing.

I keep that to myself as he passes me the satchel. I can immediately feel the heavy balls shifting around inside, and I notice that the strips of cloth easily unwind. I hold it up before me as I remove it.

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Oh, for crying out loud ...

It's a length of braided cloth rope, with a wooden cap on one end, a loop on the other small enough to go around a finger, and a wide, flat pocket in the middle.

In other words, it's a shepherd's sling. No ornamentation, no fanfare, just as simple and bland a sling as I could ever imagine.

The nobles have noticed, too, and their noises are getting louder.

Instead, as I hold one end of the sling between two raised fingers, I turn my attention back to the dandy and raise an eyebrow. "No fancy name for this one?"

His grin widens just before he drops his head to me, his voice still plenty loud enough for everyone to hear. "Forgiveness again, Hero, but powerful relics place a heavy weight upon the soul. As you are only level one, the Imperial House did not wish to overburden you."

So they want it known how weak I am. I give a glance toward the imperial couple. Was this all some sort of plan? I thought the dandy was just a petty little shit that had been personally looking forward to embarrassing a hero.

As the murmurs from the crowd grow into a dull roar, I consider the possibility of some sort of actual plot. But why? I haven't even been here a full day. What could I possibly have done to piss off the crown?

He notices my pause, and snivels in the most condescending, insincere way. "Is there something the matter, honored Hero? Is it the sizing? Is the ornamentation too gaudy? I have said that your class is strange to us. Only speak, and master smiths shall make it right!"

Oh, he's hoping I'll make an ass of myself by complaining it's not as fancy as the weapons given to the other, higher level heroes. I see the game now. Pity he's playing in left field.

"Actually," I say calmly instead of rising to the bait, "there's been a misunderstanding about my class. I don't use a sling. Is there any chance you have repeating crossbows?"

For some reason, mention of the weapon causes a wave of quiet chuckles from the nobles. Not a particularly respected weapon, then?

The dandy, too, seems caught off-guard. "You ... would prefer to fight using a repeating crossbow?" He regathers himself quickly, though. "Oh, we do have them. Yes, that can be arranged. No poison will be provided for safety reasons, of course, you understand. Is ... a repeating crossbow what your class is meant for?"

"It's closer than a sling," I reply. "I'll just have to make it work."

"I ... see. Any specific requests with it?"

"Preferably one I can hold and fire from one hand, and I'll need a couple minutes to familiarize myself with whatever design you use."

"... Of course," the dandy replies, and I hand him back the sling and satchel of metal orbs. "We'll see if one of the handmaidens have one they're willing to part with."

He gives a snap of his fingers toward the two soldiers and one of them immediately jogs away.

"Thank you," I reply, and turn to give the imperial couple a bow like the others gave, then I return to my place in line.

... As I'm left waiting, I mull over some of his more confusing words. Poison? Handmaidens? None in the armory? And the dismissive response the crowd had. Has there been some sort of miscommunication?

No, I'm sure there wasn't. Seina said everything there's a word for is perfectly translated. It doesn't matter what they call it here. They recognized whatever they heard. That means the concept of a repeating crossbow exists here. They just don't seem to think much of it.

I suppose I'll find out why when it arrives.

The other heroes are giving me looks out of the corners of their eyes, but I keep my head forward. I'll do the best I can, and if it doesn't work out, well, that was my plan from the start, anyway. Whatever issue the crown has with me, I'm no worse off than I already was.

Genstai seems prepared to continue on with the event regardless.

"With the duty of First Armaments fulfilled, we now move on to the demonstration! I remind everyone to maintain a safe distance. Fragments may well fly with great speed!"

It could be argued that it hasn't actually been fulfilled since we're still waiting on mine. They all know what I'm getting, though, and they all know it's on the way, so it's a nitpick more than any real falsehood. I don't give it more than a passing thought.

Besides, I'm far more interested in the wooden scarecrows that come marching out onto the field in front of us. A whole army of the things, with thin, wooden main bodies padded with leather. Straw sticks out from under their leather caps like tawny strings of hair. Their faces are wooden shells encasing crystal balls where their one red eye is located.

Weapons are hard-mounted to their bodies. Rather than hands, a sword or spear may be directly mounted to the joint, for example. Swords and shields are the most common, followed by spears, but I spy a back row of crossbowmen. Despite being less common than the swordsmen, the spearman constructs place themselves at the front line, as if to anticipate an enemy charge.

Once they are all out in their ranks and files, they begin a parade-like performance automatically, presumably to show off their complexity. They rotate through a preprogrammed routine that runs the gamut from marching in place to brandishing their weapons, then rotating with their same type of units while never ceasing to face us.

The spearmen crab walk clockwise while the crossbowmen do so in reverse and the swordsmen between them brandish, and then the whole pattern rotates so that the two that were looping brandish and the swordsmen crab walk. Each time a group goes back to the crab walk, they do it in the opposite direction they had done before.

The constant beat of their feet fills the air with a drumming beat that makes the lack of an actual band all the more evident. The display is intimidating and more than a little creepy, frankly.

Genstai continues. "Let us all take a moment in gratitude to the imperial artificers who poured their hearts and souls into their craft through the night to ensure these golems were ready for today's demonstration. Though most of them may not have made it here to be with us today, may they sleep well knowing their services to the empire were well delivered!"

After the whole assembly goes quiet save for the movements of the scarecrows, the dandy takes over again as Genstai moves back toward the emperor's side.

"Do not let their simplicity fool you, gentlemen, for though they may look like training dummies, each one is tuned to approximate a level 25 opponent, and will fight with according skill and bravery!"

I swear the bastard looks right at me again. "They can even be programmed to respond appropriately to poisons!"

I don't give him the satisfaction of a response to the chuckles from the crowd this time, either.

"Ready yourselves, Heroes, to prove your worth to the Empire!"

As one, the constructs all stop their parade patterns instantly and ready their armaments. We all brace ourselves immediately in response.

"BEGIN!"