Chapter 54
Cow
I stand with arms crossed, glaring down with pouted lips at the large, ceramic pot of chaff, broken-down stalks, leaves and murky water that sits in front of me. It'll have to be sealed to keep the slimes out of it, and set in the metal cage to be rotated a couple times a day to break down into proper mulch, but that's not what's occupying my thoughts.
Ayre sidles up next to me with the wariness one approaches explosives, probably worried that I'm considering something crazier than sun-baking my mulch. "... Everything okay, Remmi?"
Too bad he's right.
"I want a cow."
The archer staggers back. "A ... cow?"
"I can't grow one from seed bullets," I explain my thought process. "But I can grow grain and hay to feed it. I'll bet if it's on a diet of essence foods long enough, its milk will become Essence Milk! And that would really open up the kinds of things I could cook!"
I turn away, holding my chin in thought. "In fact, if it works with cows, we should get some chickens, too. Essence Eggs! I could make Essence Custard!" I have to swallow to fight back the tidal wave of saliva just that thought triggers.
And I rotate back to the flustered-looking elf. "But would Essence Eggs hatch into Essence Chicks? Would it be self-sustaining? Would they lose it if they didn't eat essence food, too, or would it disappear after a generation?"
Ayre frowns at me once I pause, then comes over and raps his knuckles against my forehead. It's not hard enough to hurt, and I blink at the impact.
"... Ayre?"
"Just checking to see if the power is filling up your head." The archer's eyes close with a huff. "Good news, it's still empty."
I jut my bottom lip out in a pout. "I have an Intellect of two hundred! That's not empty!"
"It's empty of common sense."
I turn away with my arms crossed. "Fine, I guess you don't want custard topped with caramel sauce."
There's a beat where that's getting processed before Ayre clenches his fists, turning them outward at the end of his held-straight arms. "Oh, come on, Remmi, that's not fair! You can't use my sweet tooth against me like that! And besides, you can make that out of normal ingredients just fine!"
"Just fine, sure," I agree, raising a finger for emphasis, "but with Essence ingredients, I can make it even better."
Ayre's face twists into a surly pout as the manifestation of the last of his resistance. "... Fine, but you've got to run it by the guild since we're not going to be here to take care of them. They'll have to make sure whoever they hire to watch the place is qualified to handle livestock, too."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll take it up while we're in there today." I sigh and stretch my back out. "Honestly, if this house-sitting weren't part of the guild contract, it would be getting crazy expensive. I've already got to pay the temple fees for Yorin to come confirm the quality every week."
"She said if it was something she could do, herself, she'd have waived the fee, which is nice," Ayre reminds me.
"Yeah, but everyone needs a soul stone to cast Identify," I point out what it is I'm paying for. "And only the temple can issue those." I sigh. "Wish I could just teach it to her."
"You are clenching bits, Remmi," Ayre counters. "You may not be seeing the results yet, but you're richer than some nobles now. The stone fee is nothing more than a drop of water for you."
"And a necessary processing fee," I agree. "Especially if there's going to be produce that may take time to qualify."
The elf gives a hum as we head back toward the cabin. "Speaking of nobles, I wonder how those two kids are doing ..."
I scoff. "Probably already getting into more trouble."
That puts a look of panic across Ayre's face. "Already?! Have they even had time to get home?!"
"I wouldn't be surprised to find out they didn't even go home," I point out. "I figure they took the carriage they hired straight off in another direction."
"And we didn't stop them?!"
I frown back at my friend, stopping at the bottom of the steps to plant my hands on my hips. "What would you have us do, Ayre? Escort them back in chains? Those two are on a personal mission. They aren't going to be so easily dissuaded."
"You knew from the start," the elf accuses me. "I thought we were sending them home!"
"I know nothing," I counter. "I only suspect. And suspicion alone isn't enough to hold a couple of nobles against their will, even I know that much."
Ayre deflates at that. "You're right, Remmi, I'm sorry. I just ... I thought we were sending them to safety."
"We have a saying back home," I provide as we head inside and begin gathering our things. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. It means you can't force people to do what's good for them. We got them out of danger and saw them to town, but our hands were tied when they decided they didn't want our help any further."
I specifically grab the Noodle Spitter and put it in an over-the-shoulder holster I had custom-made for it, along with several spare wooden magazines for it that go into a dedicated hip pouch. My gun is still on my hip, of course, but I don't want to use it for the test, it's too disproportionate. Likewise, Ayre is taking his recurve bow, not the compound one I made.
It feels kind of nice for us to be concealing our power level like this, in a cheesy, weeby kind of way, even if it's for slightly different reasons. The guild already knows of my gun, I just don't want to seriously hurt anybody for a rank exam. Ayre, on the other hand, is avoiding causing a technological leap in bowyery.
It's not like the archer is going without. I have the compound bow stashed in my storage just in case of an emergency.
We spend the walk into town talking about this and that, about upgrades to the training course, about recipes, about outfits and how leaving Dabun would finally allow Ayre to hold me to the promise to diversify my wardrobe.
Yorin is outside, talking with the laborers, when we come through. She sees us, wraps up the conversation, then breaks off to intercept us.
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"Good morning," she greets us. "Are you on your way to the guild hall to take the rank examination?"
"Good morning, Sacred Yorin," Ayre returns her greeting with formality. "And yes, we believe ourselves suitably prepared."
The priestess looks over our equipment, and, of course, notices the oddities. "Yes, prepared to restrain yourselves," she muses. "It could throw off your results, you know."
"It's worth the risk," I explain. "My pistol is just too powerful. My only means of using it without killing someone is paralysis rounds that ... well ..." I give a glance to Ayre, who felt them first-hand. "... they really hurt."
Ayre cringes a bit at the recollection, but gives a firm nod. "Remmi called it cruel and unusual. I agree. It is better to save the Heavenly Thunder rounds for when they are the only viable option."
I pat the firearm on my hip. "They're loaded anyway, just in case, but yeah. I'll be trying to stick to the Noodle Spitter. Should be a good live-fire test for it, too."
"Haven't you been testing it in your obstacle course rather extensively?"
I nod. "Stress tests mostly. It's hard to gauge performance against a flesh and bone target that's wearing armor when you're only using paper and straw."
"I wouldn't say it lags in any way compared to my bow, though," Ayre puts in. "Well, it doesn't have the strength of the strange compound type bow that Remmi made for me, but they work on similar mechanisms, so, my bow being so much bigger, that makes sense."
Yorin nods in comprehension of what we are saying. "Speaking of your compound bow, Ayre, I notice you are using your recurve bow instead. I certainly appreciate the aesthetics of it more, but as you said, its performance is not on the same level."
Being put on the spot makes Ayre nervous, turning away slightly and scratching at his jaw. "Well, we were worried it might be too foreign. The design would raise too many questions from other adventurers that I can't really answer. An archer that can't explain how their bow works, isn't that unacceptable?"
"I could explain it," I take over, "but you've advised me many times of being careful how much I share about technology from my world."
I shift my shoulder to indicate the crossbow strapped there. "A hand crossbow made by a Hero? Nobody's going to question why it performs so well. The excuse is built in. But if that same Hero can craft other weapons, that's going to raise a whole lot more eyebrows."
Ayre glances to me at that. "Can you craft other weapons, or are you limited to projectiles?"
I rub the back of my head at that. "I mean, probably. Firearms pretty much rendered the usual swords, spears, axes and clubs redundant, but there's plenty of ways to improve them. Different alloys that hold better edges, for example. Titanium, aluminum, graphene, those don't translate, right?"
Both elves shake their heads at the strange words.
"Still," Yorin sighs, "I ask that you stick to your plan to keep that mostly to yourself. Perhaps offer it as aid to the other Heroes, but it is wise to otherwise not spread it beyond your immediate allies."
I get a grin on my face. "Want a new staff, Yorin?"
She frowns right back as if seeking to invert the arc of my lips with her own. "As if you needed an excuse to study thaumaturgical flow. And it would be necessary for you to do so. Magical implements are not simply concerned with durability and edge retention. The offer is appreciated, Remmi, but no, thank you."
I'm already thinking about electrical circuits and how much the runes on the golem core resembled them, but I'll keep that to myself for now. "In other news, we're thinking of expanding the essence farm."
Yorin's eyes widen in curiosity at that. "Oh? New crops?"
But Ayre's ears go nearly level with the elf's eyes. "She wants a cow. And chickens."
The priestess seems confused at the response. "I do not see the issue. Milk and eggs are fundamental components to many dishes, and if you get them now, you would have a decent stockpile of both by the time you leave."
Ayre shakes his head. "She wants to grow Essence crops specifically to feed them in the hopes of producing Essence Milk and Eggs."
Yorin's eyes widen again, further than mere curiosity. "I ... see ... Remmi, have you considered the implications of such a plan?"
"It runs the risk of altering the lifeforms, themselves," I admit. "Do chickens hatched from Essence Eggs cease to be normal chickens? Does a calf that has had nothing but Essence Milk, and then Essence Feed, become an Essence Cow? If so, are these changes permanent? I don't know."
"And yet you wish to do it, anyway?"
I shrug. "I don't think it will produce major threats to the creatures, themselves, and I can't deny the potential health benefits of enhancing things that are already superfoods."
Yorin seems to think about it for a moment, then nods. "I agree. The potential benefit is greater than the low chance of harm. I will support this experiment. There is little, if any, such livestock in Dabun, but that is not a large obstacle. I can assist you in arranging such purchases through the guild."
"That'd be great! Thanks, Yorin!" There's still much of the economy in the Furinshao Empire that I don't understand, mostly relative prices. Buying chickens isn't so bad, but buying a milk cow should be pretty expensive, or at least it would be back on Earth. Unfortunately, I don't know what "expensive" means on Toleste.
It's Ayre that asks, "Does that mean that you will be coming with us today?"
And I'm treated to one of the increasingly rare looks at Yorin appearing humble. For once, I don't think it's an act.
"If it wouldn't trouble you two any, I would like to accompany you, yes. And, with your permission, I'd like to watch you take your exams."
My grin returns. "At the risk of repeating myself, that'd be great! Of course you're welcome to come along!"
"Wonderful! Just let me set tasks for the crew," she says. "I'll only be a few moments!"
"Sacred Yorin will be watching us," Ayre frets once the priestess leaves. "I think my nervousness just leveled up. Has it become a status condition?"
I chuckle and pull up my own status for one last review. "You don't have anything to worry about, Ayre. It's just friends supporting friends."
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NAME: Remmi Lee
RACE: Human (Outsider)
AGE: 15 (24)
LEVEL: 10
CLASS: Gunslinger
HP: 400/400
MP: 300/300
ST: 300/300
STRENGTH: 100
TOUGHNESS: 100
INTELLECT: 200
AGILITY: 150
POINTS: 5,270
TRAITS:
Hero
Gun Nut
Jack of All Trades (General)
Hedge Witch
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