Chapter 46
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Ayre and I dash straight through town. In fact, we dash from the estate to the town. We sprint all of the way from the estate to the guild hall without so much as a pause.
We know what we must do. The coffee demands it.
"Zeiya!"
I'm shouting for the redheaded bartender before I'm even all of the way through the front door. I look around quickly, lock onto my target, and charge.
"Zeiya, you've got to try this!"
The retired Platinum-rank adventurer balks as we bull right up to her bar, patrons scattering to give us clearance. "Yellow, if you're going to come blowing into the guild like this, there'd better be a fucking dragon on your ass."
"Oh, no, it's way better than a dragon!"
The redhead is staring at my gigawatt grin like it's a metric of my sanity. "Dragons are never a good thing, kid."
"But it is better!"
When Ayre backs me up, Zeiya looks between us both with growing suspicion.
"... How many cups of coffee have you two had?"
"Just one!" I plop the latch-lid jar of roasted beans onto the bar in front of her. "You've got to try it! It's called Essence Arabica!"
She glances between us both again as Ayre eagerly nods in agreement, fists balled up earnestly in front of his chest. Finally, she focuses back to me.
"Yellow, did you say Essence?"
"Exactly that Essence," I insist, not bothering to elaborate that I literally am incapable of misspeaking in that regard, since my words are being translated based on intent. Instead, I pop the jar open under her nose.
It has the desired effect immediately as her eyes go wide and she leans in for a closer smell. "Yellow, did you roast these, yourself?"
"Over an open fire with a rotisserie barrel!" But I'm far too impatient to go through all the details now. I shove the jar toward her. "Come on, come on! Make a cup! Try it!"
"For Essence's sake, Zeiya," a nearby man half-jests, "make a cup before the kid's head explodes, already!"
"If it's doing this to them, I'm more worried about my head," she grumbles, but takes the beans and begins the process of preparing a cup's worth.
Toleste doesn't have vacuum-sealing technology, so they don't keep ground coffee or make whole pots at a time. Instead, they keep the beans whole to better preserve them in airtight containers and grind the cup fresh when ordered, or in small batches. That they're a semi-precious luxury item makes it all the more essential to ensure as little goes to waste as possible.
This is to say that Zeiya is well-accustomed to the steps she moves through with practiced ease. The water is already heated for all of the other beverages that need it, so she runs a measured scoop of the beans through a grinder and into a filter. The filter sits within a wire frame that holds it above the cup, and the paper's conical shape directs the fluid into the cup below.
Ayre and I are definitely the most obviously staring, both of us the nearest to being in her personal space as possible without actually crossing the counter. Everyone in the canteen, however, is watching with rapt attention as Zeiya brings that steaming cup tentatively up to her lips.
And the Rubicon is crossed, and the woman’s eyes shoot wide. The next instant, her high-level physique allows her to chug the steaming hot beverage, and she doesn’t stop until she’s slurping at the dregs. Only then does the mug hit the counter.
Her eyes are still as wide as saucers.
“Holy shit.”
I point at her reaction with a giggle. “Right?!”
She immediately points to one man toward the edge, an older one with a gold badge. “Get the guildmaster! Now!” When he doesn’t immediately start moving, she chucks the mug, it sailing within a hair’s breadth of his ear to shatter behind him. “MOVE IT!”
“Y-yes, ma’am!”
As soon as he takes off, everyone else starts crowding near, bombarding Zeiya with questions. Is it safe? Can they get a cup? Is it any good?
She ignores them all and turns her eyes back on us once more. “Yellow, do you have any idea what the fuck you’ve done?”
I’m starting to wonder if I’m in trouble, but I try for a sheepish grin and shrug. “Revolutionize the adventurer culinary industry?”
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“And only!” She leans over the counter until we’re nearly face to face. “Have you told anyone else where you got those beans?”
“Only Ayre,” I answer, motioning to the elf.
“I was there!”
The redhead takes that in with a slow nod, then speaks more quietly. “So what were they? Dungeon drops? Did they grow there?” She turns away slightly. “No, couldn’t be. They’d be called Arcana or something, not Essence.”
I frown, knowing I’m about to disappoint her. “Um, if you’re looking to send harvesters, that’s … not necessary. And probably wouldn’t work.”
She must be catching on to where this is going, because she gives me a sharp look and pulls away slowly. “Yellow …”
“They came out of my garden.”
She’s like a marionette whose strings are suddenly cut, and it seems only her hand, propped by her elbow on the counter, catches her by the forehead as she collapses down upon it. “Fuck …”
“… Is that bad?”
But the woman shakes her head. “Bad? Shit, Yellow, by this time next year, you’re going to be richer than the Empress.” She raises her head as a light of realization fills her eyes. “… You just paid for your castle, you thrice-blessed little bitch.”
I would be much more worried if it sounded like she meant any of those nastier words.
“Well, it’s not that amazing,” I insist, ignoring her growing look of indignation. “It only lasts for about an hour, and when it fades out, it’s replaced by two stages of Caffeine Overdose. Which probably stack, so no drinking it back to back.”
Zeiya wrinkles her nose and raises an eyebrow. “How many stages does that condition have?!”
“Just the four,” I reply. “After that, you die by heart attack.”
I can see the reflexive swallow move down her throat, but she admirably doesn’t let it reach her face. “Still, an hour of these stat boosts? That’s more than enough for an adventurer. And even a laborer can get a lot done in an hour when they can’t get tired. And is it really giving me over a hundred fifty Agility?!”
My eyes widen at the sudden glimpse into her stats. “No, it’s giving you twenty-five percent!” I grin and wink as I give her a thumbs up. “Still, Zeiya, over six hundred base Agility? Nice! Are you sure your adventuring days are over?”
She realizes what she’s given away and frowns as she crosses her arms. “I’ll let you off the hook for that one, but no more freebies! A girl’s stats are a closely-guarded private matter, Yellow!”
My grin turns apologetic. “I won’t tell, promise!”
“Uh-huh. Like you didn’t tell about the Empress’s stats.”
“I didn’t!”
The great bear I know as Kobi comes from the back halls with the man Zeiya chased away, and he begins to wade through the crowd like they’re pups to be pushed aside with his foot.
“Clear back, you lot, clear back!” he shouts. Though shouting might be a poor choice of words, since it’s more like a roar.
Half the people in his path clear out of it long before he has to reach for them.
When he finally reaches the counter, I notice Zeiya is already preparing another cup of Essence Arabica. I’m not sure Kobi has picked up on it, though, or he doesn’t understand the significance.
“What’s the meaning of this, Zeiya? It’s not like you to send people running for me in fear—” The cup clicks down in front of him, and he stares down at it in confusion. “—of their lives … What is this?”
Zeiya glances back to me for a moment before stealing my words, but it’s a quick glance, barely noticeable. “Revolutionary, if the grower is to be believed. It’s a new variety of coffee bean.”
He clearly isn’t buying it. He picks the cup up to better examine it. “You called me out here with the urgency of an attack on the city … for coffee?! What’s gotten into you?”
“The coffee.” Maybe it’s because she’s older or because her level is so high, but it seems like Zeiya really is handling herself well despite how hard it must be just to stay still.
Kobi frowns again, gives it a sniff like a wary animal … then, in what I am certain is the most alpha move I have ever witnessed at a bar, throws the whole mug back in one go. He doesn’t even chug it, just lifts it above his head and pours the whole thing into his mouth.
It’s gone in a single swallow.
His transmogrification is terrifying. His eyes widen so much I can see the veins as he begins to growl. His grip on the mug tightens until the ceramic shatters and he’s left holding only a fist.
“… Is he oka—” I start.
His fist slams against the counter, causing a splintering web of cracks in its granite surface as he all but roars into Zeiya’s face. “WHAT IS THIS?!”
The bartender is completely unfazed. “Essence Arabica, apparently,” she replies at a far more normal volume. And then she tips her head toward me without looking at me. “Yellow grew it.”
When the guildmaster turns his attention on me, the only reason I don’t jump and hide behind Ayre is because the archer already beat me to it, cowering behind me and staring at the massive, gray bear over my shoulder.
He just keeps staring at me, growling at me, clenching the fist like he’s trying to get microscopic ceramic shards out of it. Finally, his other hand points aggressively at me.
“Effects! Negative and positive! Do you know them?!”
Without thinking of anything but self-preservation, I’m rattling them off before I can even consider whether I should or not. “Unlimited stamina and a one-quarter boost to Agility for an hour! After that, it fades to two stages of Caffeine Overdose!”
“And you tested this, yourself?!”
“I didn’t have to,” I insist, only for him to growl deeper and lean toward me, so I quickly explain. “Its Item Window told me! I can cast Identify Level 2!”
He growls again, but pulls back. The guildmaster stalks back and forth for a bit, everyone giving him a wide berth. Everyone but me and Ayre. I don’t feel allowed to move.
Finally, he points at me again. “You’re a registered member of the guild! You will be receiving a deployment contract for the guild to handle the sale of this Essence Arabica. Is that clear?”
I wrinkle my nose. “… Are you allowed to do that? Just force me to sell it?”
I worry I might have overstepped my bounds when I feel Ayre step away from me and the guildmaster starts growling again.
“Words, Guildmaster,” Zeiya puts in. “I know you’re overflowing with energy in those dusty old bones, but try to remember to use your words.” Then, to me, “And yes, Yellow, he does. The Exploration Service Guild operates in tandem with the Imperial Government. In interests of national security, the old bear can even order around a landed noble!”
I frown, dipping my head a bit. That’s offensive, but if that’s the law, then that’s the law. I can absolutely see how something like this, if it really is unique, could be a security risk. Without a vetted middle man, a foreign power could buy up all of the available stock and monopolize the powerful bonuses.
“Okay, I get it. I’ll take a look at the contract. But the rest of the stuff, I’m keeping—”
Before I can make the mistake in protest, the doors to the guild interrupt me as they’re thrown open even more dramatically than at mine and Ayre’s own entrance. Since I quickly realize what I was about to do, I would normally be grateful for the save.
But only dread fills me as I recognize the robed silhouette and the voice that bellows even greater than Guildmaster Kobi’s.
“REMMI LEE!!!”