I smuggled Robin in my jacket to the warmth under the nearest street lamp. I held it open just enough that I could see them, but still shielding ‘em from the wind.

“You doing alright in there?” I asked.

“Been workin’ out, hero boy?”

“A little. The king keeps us busy.”

“Well,” they said, pushing on my pectoral muscle, “you’ve firmed up a bit.”

“Thanks?” I said. Then remembering to get to the point asked, “what are you up to? And how did you get here?”

“Fairy wings, son!”

“Touche. You here to cause trouble?”

“Nah. Wanted to see Episode IX. Don’t even gotta buy tickets, I’ll just hover around in the air as mood lighting. People love it.”

“I bet. You talked to Bernie?”

“Yep. She’s real worried about you. If you break her heart, I’ll have to curse ya.”

“Really?” I started walking towards the castle. Warm fairylight spilled between my fingers as I held them next to me.

“Yeah. Be nice to her, and treat her fancy, and I bet you can get in her pants.”

“Hey!”

“What?”

“I don’t like that kind of talk.”

“Alright alright. Maybe I was testing you.”

“Mhmm.”

“She’s a talented warlock, your girl.”

“She’s not my girl.”

“Not yet.”

Not yet. That had a nice ring to it. But I couldn’t hope too much. Had more important things to do, for one.

“You really think I got a shot?” I asked, after some time.

“I think as long as you treat her like a flesh and blood person, and not as some kind of destined paramore, I think you’d have to really step in it to screw it up.”

“Good advice.”

I wasn’t sure that I wouldn’t ‘step in it.’ But I had to try. Had to find that killer spy first though.

“Hey. I ain’t always dick jokes, and smoking bod,” the pixie said. “I got wisdom too.”

I filled Robin in on some of what I learned.

“That’s weird,” they said.

“Yeah? Which part?”

“The thing with Princess Mia. The girl didn’t mention it when I talked to her.”

“Huh.”

“Let’s go check the Princess out.”

“I want to talk to Bernie first.”

“Nah. You don’t know anything yet; you just got a hunch. You should follow it.”

“Well, we are headed to the castle. I’ll see what I can do.”

Robin flew off before I got to the front gate, saying I didn’t need their help. They weren’t so bad once you got used to them, and the lack of fairylight left me a little colder once it was gone. Castle guards knew who I was, and they waved me in.

Princess Mia was on the first floor — thank god — the west wing overlooking the harbor. Now. How, I was going to investigate her, or interrogate her I didn’t know. I had a sleep spell. Maybe I could kidnap her?

Why?! Oh my god. No nevermind. That is an awful idea. Man, this game could funnel you to awful decisions if you let it. I poured over my spells, trying to find one that could help me, but not get me thrown into the dungeon.

At-Will Spells—

Little Light

Mend Item

Tiny Tricks

First level spells—

Bubble

Charm Person

Command

Curse, Minor

Heal Light Wounds

Healing Phrase

Sleep

Second Level Spells—

Invisible

Shatter

“Are you sure you’re supposed to be here?” came a woman’s voice.

I looked up. She had her arm on a guard’s shoulder, halting him, but looking right at me. I looked behind myself — empty hall.

Yeah, she was talking to me.

I put on my most winning smile, and continued walking.

“I was just looking for you,” I said. And it was true, but I wasn’t sure what I’d say next.

“You’re a friend of my father?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Let him in, should he need,” she said to the guard outside her quarters. “I’m not too busy to entertain my father’s friend.”

Then she ducked into her room, and disappeared.

I waved at the guard at the door who waved back, and sat on their stool. Caleb must have set up guards outside the doors of his kids after the whole assassination thing.

The first thing that greeted me as I walked in was the stench. The smell of vinegar hit me first, then some kind of citrus, and under all that sulfur. I was tempted to hold my nose, but I figured that would be rude. Then I saw the metric tonne of chemist equipment that bubbled, and glowed and burned.

I must have been visibly reeling, because Princess Mia held a handkerchief out for me. I took it, and placed it over my face.

“My nostrils have been obliterated by this stuff, so I don’t need it, but by all means, cover up,” she said.

This was the first time I’d gotten a proper look at her closer than across the dining table. She was tall, just a couple inches from my height, with a pale blue coat buttoned all the way up to her chin. It didn’t do much to conceal that she still had a little bit of weight on from her pregnancy. But, you know, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing to my eyes.

Despite her buttoned up dress, her beauty remained altogether overwhelming.

She’d her hair pulled back in a ponytail that exploded in a fan of curls behind her, small wisps of it held in the front by a pair of goggles. I don't want to put too fine a point on it, but her hair was magnificent. I asked Caleb about it later, and he said it was 3c, whatever that meant.

Her brilliant green eyes constantly darted here and there as she worked, but always back at me with a kind expression, as if she didn’t want me to feel left out. Her skin was brilliant and shining on her face, but her hands peeled from the chemicals. It was striking, and I knew enough mixed kids growing up not to wax poetic about it, so I'll just say that it was remarkable.

She was probably only a couple years younger than me, but her angular features made her look older.

“You here for a reason?” she asked, scribbling something down in a notebook.

“Um,” I stammered, “yes! I was asked by Caleb to see if you were okay, or needed anything. Wasn’t sure what he meant at the time, but I’m betting it was all this,” I said motioning to the science lab thing she had going on.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“My father hates all this stuff. Wants me back with my kid — like my husband can’t handle it.” Here she closed her book and turned to me. Her eyes gazed at me with playful skepticism. “I'm quite familiar with the ring of an ill-considered lie. Want to try that again? Maybe with a little more truth?”

“Shit.”

“Uh huh. What does father like to say? ‘Momma didn’t raise no fool.’”

“Yeah, I should have known better.”

I just stood there for a moment, thinking. Well, maybe I can try the Columbo method, and be truthful about why I’m here, while downplaying my interest in the details? After a second, I realized that despite my decent charisma score, even that could be beyond my skills.

Whole truth it is then.

“I’m trying to figure out what happened to Harmony.”

“The Duchess?”

“Yeah. Real tragedy. Has the whole castle spooked.”

“Not as much as they should be,” she said, going back to her chemistry set, and adjusting a nob. “Someone able to get to my father’s small counsel, or a girl as highly prized as the Duchess, is likely someone high up, not just a servant with a grudge.”

“How so?”

“Servants sell each other out,” she said, almost bored. “Whoever did that, has privilege to protect them. By the time those that know flip on them, it’ll be too late. Someone actually important will be killed.”

“Actually important?”

“Oh, don’t act so surprised. Randy was a drunk, and Harmony was a prized pony. It’s a damn tragedy, but neither are leading armies into battle.”

“Or concocting potions?” I asked.

“You’re rude,” she said, glancing over her shoulder. “I like that. My husband would like that too. It’s a shame we’re both so busy!”

Her laugh was haughty and loud, but pleasant to hear. Her attention strayed to a strange object held in a large pair of tongs. It flashed with text. I wasn’t able to make out much of it before she flicked it away.

Was that a slate? How did she get a slate? I thought Braelyn had the only one in the kingdom. I tried to imagine what I had seen. Was it the name? ‘Nerve’ something? Wait! Nerfherder! It must be a reference to Caleb’s plays. Who would she call Nerfherder?

Suddenly she was very close to me.

“Hold out your hand,” she asked.

I did. She took it, gave me a beautiful smile, then ran a knife along it.

“Shit!”

“Oh, hush. Drink this,” she said, pressing a vial to my hand.

It was warm to the touch, and contained a brilliant pink liquid. Welp. I was in too deep to start saying ‘no’ now. I opened the cork, and tossed it back.

It was fruity, with a slight floral after-taste, like hops. Went down smooth, and made me want more.

“How’s your hand?” she asked.

“What?”

She arched an eyebrow. I tore my gaze from her brilliant green eyes, and looked at my hand. The cut had closed. I wiped my hand on my pants. My palm was unmarred.

“Wow. It didn’t even—”

“No itching?”

“It didn’t even itch. And the taste—”

“Pomegranate,” she said. “With hops.”

“I thought I tasted hops!”

“Mhmm. You liked it?”

“I haven’t had a lot of healing potions, but that was still probably the best one I’ve ever had.”

“Thank you,” she said. “Just because something is medicine, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be pleasant to drink.”

I suddenly felt a little dizzy.

“I think I should lie down,” I said sitting on the couch.

“Oh drat!” she said, scribbling in her notebook. “Nausea?”

“I think so.”

“How much?”

“More than I’d like, but not enough that I need a bucket.”

“Hmm,” she said to herself, scribbling faster. “Did you have alcohol?”

“Yeah. Quite a bit.”

“Reacts. With. Alcohol.” She muttered to herself as she scribbled some more.

I decided to lay down on the couch fully, and stared up at the ceiling.

“Were you the one to figure out the poison?” I asked.

“Yes. An alkaloid. Common in the region, so they likely didn’t need to smuggle it in, just distill it somewhere. Makes catching who did this a little more difficult.”

“Damn,” I replied, still staring at the ceiling. Why didn’t Bernadette, or Rachel tell me about this, the potion brewing thing? Mia didn’t seem to be shy about it.

Also if whoever poisoned the Duchess just needed to distill the plant, where would they do it?

“What would they need to distill it?” I asked.

“Any old cooking pot, and a hose would do,” she said. “As long as you weren’t worried about trace amounts getting in the food.”

“Did you check the kitchen?”

“Of course we did.”

I thought about this for a bit. Princess Mia seemed incredibly competent. If she couldn’t figure out who the bad guys were, what made me think that I could?

“What’s that, in the case?” she asked.

I was feeling a bit better, but I had been drinking a lot, and it was nice to lie down.

“Uh, this?” I said, debating on if I should lie. “I guess I’ll just show you.”

She stuck her hand out without looking, waiting.

I’d gotten into the habit of taking this thing with me everywhere. Since the others hadn’t taken their character sheets, I wasn’t sure if anything bad could happen if I lost it, but I didn’t want to find out. I carefully pulled the sheet out of the tube, and handed it to her.

She looked at it for a bit, then handed it back.

“Charisma is good, but your Dexterity is a little low for a backline fighter.”

“How did you—”

“Oh my dad lets some things slip every now, and again. I’ve seen his character sheet a couple times.”

“Huh.”

“You’re the only one with a physical one. That I know of. Get you an enchanted quill, and the right set of inks — well — you could possibly alter it.”

“Really?”

“Sure! Or not! You may have the only one like it in the world, though. I’d have to run tests.”

“I think I’ll hold onto it.”

“Suit yourself!” she replied, looking back at me with a smile, and giving me a wink that distinctly reminded me of her father.

I wasn’t making any progress at all here. But it was nice to lay on the couch.

“So,” Mia said, after working on her own for a bit. “Now that I’ve cut you,” she descended into a peel of nasal laughter, then quickly regained her composure, “why the lie earlier?”

“I didn’t trust you.”

“And now? Do you trust me, Breznik?”

“I think so.”

“Good to know. So, what are you waiting for?”

I could feel that maybe I had been here for too long. I think she was working up to a way to kick me out.

“I’m trying to figure out what you’re working on,” I said.

“Ah,” she said, “easy enough. I’m trying to find a cure for Duchess Harmony. Despite finding her a bit of a bore, she didn’t deserve to get hurt. Poor girl was only 18. And Pelas is too soft. This could break him.”

I figured that was good enough for me. I stood, thanked her for her time, and let myself out.

My mind spun with possibilities. If this were a movie, that would sure be the bad guy. Woman who abandoned her kid to cook up potions in her laboratory? Yeah, that’s our poisoner. But maybe she was just rich? Rich people sort of had their own rules. And I kind of liked her?

I couldn’t be that bad a judge of character, right?

I spied Robin zoom down the hallway chasing some other glowing light. Was it another pixie? I tried to stop them in order to have someone to talk to, but they didn’t seem to notice me.

Well. Only other lead I had was the kitchen. I wound my way through the castle, until I arrived just past eleven. It ran at all hours of the day. Nobles couldn’t be bothered to make their own food. There were only two on duty.

The first man was an orc, short but wide, with a patchy beard. His large hands picked up a pan automatically, and washed them in a huge basin full of soapy water. The other was a kobold sharpening a set of knives. I put my monocle in. If one was a higher level than I’d expect, then maybe they had something to hide.

No such luck.

The first read ‘Orc Dishwasher, LVL 3, 24hp’ and the other read 'Sous Chef, LVL 6, 38hp.’ So, both were fairly high level for castle staff, but by their HP scores, I figured they’d all their experience in cooking skills. I waved to the Kobold.

We chatted for a bit, but he mostly responded in one word answers. I couldn’t figure if it was a language thing, or that he didn’t want to talk.

I needed to switch things up, so I slid in next to the dishwasher, and began helping him wash pans. He opened up right away.

“D’nush, right?” I asked.

“You got the pronunciation right.”

“Eh, I got a weird name too,” I said. “So I try to put in the effort.”

“You wanted to know about the new Duchess?”

“What’s your read on the situation?”

“She was nice. Treated us, the rest of the staff, courteous like. Some of the other ladies at the castle find us ‘unpleasant to look at’ whatever the hell that means. The king doesn’t like that talk, but they go right back to it once he’s out of earshot.”

“I’m sure you got questioned about her poisoning?”

“Yeah. We all did. I don’t think it was one of us. Like I said, she was nice.”

“Money can change people’s opinion real quick. You think maybe somebody in the kitchens would overlook how nice she was, to fix a debt.”

He just gave me a pointed look, then said, “King pays us well. Folk that can’t handle their money, get transferred out the castle. Specifically, so something like that can’t happen.”

“Huh.”

I was running out of questions, and I’d already opened with small talk about the opera house premiere. So I pivoted.

“What do you think of the Princess?”

“Princess Mia?” He thought for a second, pausing with a pan half out of the water. “Don’t spend much time out of her room, or with her kid.”

“Is that strange?”

“Not so strange,” he said, scrubbing the pot. “Newborns do a lot of sleeping, mostly. Though I’d expect she’ll send someone asking for pastries right about now. Eats nothing but fish and vegetables all day, but then asks for half a dozen pastries at night.”

The kobold cursed to himself in a language I didn’t recognize and started pulling ingredients out, bowls of sugar, bowls of flower.

“We don’t know she’ll want it!” he said, calling back to the kobold.

He just ignored him, and started making dough.

“Anyway,” D’nush said, “sorry I don’t got more.”

“Ah, it’s fine. Wait. One more question.”

“Yes?”

“What’s the juiciest piece of gossip you got? Anything. Maybe it’ll spawn a lead.”

“Well,” he said, looking around before talking at a low rumble. “You ain’t heard it from me, but rumor has it that some ranger showed up claiming to be the King’s bastard.”

“No way?”

“By the name of the First. Got it from a good source.”

“Anything else?”

“Oh, that the elves aren’t as interested in peace as they say. That they’re here for some other reason.”

“I’ll believe that,” I said.

Just then, rounding the corner into the kitchen were two men. One was a knight in elven chainmail, the other was a man in a full suit of plate armor, embellished with enameled flowers.

“Why, hello,” the man in plate armor said. “I heard that you fine folk make delightful pastries.”

My monocle caught him right away:

Aquilan -- Knight of Flowers. With only one skull and crossbones after it.

Good thing to see I was getting stronger. Now what was he doing all the way up here?