We got the camp back on my back, and we headed out.

That day, we ran into bandits.

“Stand and deliver your valuables!” one said.

Bernadette answered with a knife throw. We tussled for a bit, and they ran off. The one dead bandit had 20 silver pieces, 5 copper, a crossbow we didn’t need, some bolts, and a curious necklace — a black lion on a silver medallion.

More on that later. Much later.

That night we practiced our songs. I suggested we put them together into some kind of narrative, but she said we didn’t have time, or enough players. I eventually agreed.

I held her for a bit, in a way that felt routine, but also made my heart ache like somebody had kicked me in the chest. Later, I took first watch. This time, it was uneventful. I had a strange feeling that someone else was watching me too. I chalked that up to paranoia and exhaustion. But I did live in a world of magic, so who knows.

When it was her turn for watch, I stayed up thinking for a while, but was able to get some sleep eventually.

In the morning, I saw her talking to Robin.

The pixie was in the palm of her hand gesticulating.

“And they round up anybody that so much as looks at them funny!” they said. “I barely got out with my life!”

“Yeah, that’s messed up,” Bernie said politely.

“Hey, you!” I said with a wave.

“Hey, hero guy,” they said.

“His name is Zach,” Bernie said in a stage whisper.

“Thanks,” Robin replied with an exaggerated wink.

“What did you find?” I asked.

They flew over to me, and gave me the lowdown.

Amaryllis was a city with an incredible presence of watchmen that guarded it, and apparently they were hyper vigilant. Robin thought it may have something to do with the fact that at least one Knight of the Word was there, someone called Captain Wen. Everyone from shopkeepers to children acted as if they were scared of making a single misstep.

Robin couldn’t find any mention of Rachel.

“And then this skank sprite said they wouldn’t give me the time of day!”

“I thought you thought sprites were gross?” I asked.

“Yeah,” they said with a flirty shrug, “well sometimes I’m looking for gross, if you know what I mean.”

“Okay,” I said, a little embarrassed, “anything else?”

“Yeah! Apparently the street tacos aren’t always made with quail, sometimes it’s pigeons!”

“Tacos?” I asked. I wasn’t sure I had heard them right.

“Okay, thanks bye!” They said, then flew off again with their new hat that I’d sown together from a scrap of cloth during watch.

I turned to Bernadette.

“This place has tacos?”

She shrugged bewilderedly. We broke camp and set out.

“You know Robin offered to be my patron,” she said out of the blue, the leaves rolling down the trail at our feet.

“Like, patron, as in the Game, or patron, like money?”

“In the Game,” she clarified.

“You already took the deal,” I said.

“Yeah.”

I thought about this for a bit. This means we both took magic classes as a multiclass. I think we both understood how strong magic was, but she had five levels of rogue first as a stronger base to just my two levels of fighter.

Man. We really needed Rachel. Neither of us did well in a fair fight.

My mind went back to that moment in the tent with the Knight of Flowers. It could have ended there.

Then my ADHD kicked in and I thought about what kind of Warlock Bernie had become.

“You know what kind of Warlock you are?” I asked.

“Yeah, a Fey Warlock.”

“Yeah, but like, your patron.”

“What are you getting at?”

“You’re a Manic Pixie Dream Girl now.”

“Oh, no,” she said horrified. “Oh god no. I’m not!”

“I don’t know,” I said, a big smile taking over my face, “I think you’re pretty dreamy.”

“Robin!” she yelled into the forest, “I take it back! I don’t want it anymore!”

“I’m just joking,” I said.

“You better be! Things are pretty cool with us right now, but if you start talking about ‘seeing the beauty in life,’ or ‘learning to live in the moment,’ I’m gonna stab you so hard! And I won’t feel bad about it either, because I know you can heal!”

“Noted!” I said, patting the air in defeat.

Eventually, we found a place to rest and she showed me her new stats on her slate.

Shade the level 5 Assassin Rogue and level 1 Fey Warlock.

Hit Points 31, Armor Class 15 (leather armor)

STR 7 (-2) DEX 18 (+4) CON 12 (+1)

INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 18 (+4)

Items: Thirsting Thorn +2, crossbow of piercing +1, dagger of tracking +1, leather armor, 17 throwing daggers, 2 combat knives, 1 ration, 1 flint and tinder box, charcoal, 3 sheets loose paper

Abilities from rogue: Backstab (+150% additional damage against targets from behind or against targets that are otherwise distracted), Assassinate (triple backstab damage against targets that do not identify you as a threat), Beguiling Allure (double proficiency bonus to charisma checks against the opposite sex)

Abilities from warlock: Fey Sight (see farther and through dim light or darkness), Spiderwalk (walk on vertical surfaces and even upside down), Charm (one use of the charm spell per day)

Skills: Acrobatics, Deception, Investigate, Seduction, Sleight of Hand, Stealth

I handed her slate back and we took turns drinking from a water skin. Later, she showed her spiderwalk feature by putting her foot on the trunk of a tree then walking to stand horizontally, completely defying gravity. Man, did that seem useful. Not sure I wanted to make a pact with a fairy to do it though.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I had my own spells.

The rest of the hike was hard, but we were in good spirits.

The front gates of Amaryllis were huge metal and wood portcullis set in a high brick wall. The guards were only four strong. Maybe there were more past the portcullis.

We submitted our bags to inspection, and they confiscated our crossbows and bolts. They also made Bernie put her daggers in her bag.

Bernadette was fuming mad. I mostly kept it cool. They let us keep our swords, interestingly enough. Said a side weapon was allowed, as long as we kept them sheathed, and that we needed to exit this direction if we wanted our other weapons back.

Our ticket, so to speak, was a scroll with the seal of the Throne of Light itself. It was a blocky, stylized seat, seemingly made of some kind of stone or crystal, with rays emanating to the sky. A guard had scribbled our names in a book, and we were free to go.

Bernie mentioned that she was keen to try out her new charm spell but that it would only work on one person at a time, and so was useless at the gate.

The city itself was marvelous.

Stucco and beam facades shone white and blue in the afternoon light. A charming red brick tavern greeted us down the lane. People walked here and there, but everyone kept their faces down. Guards strolled in pairs past every corner, their black and gold tabards fluttering in the breeze. A cart with a portable stove bolted to it had what looked like hanging roasted chickens across a stick at the top.

The cart said ‘takos’ in a kind of english on the side.

“I guess these are the aforementioned tacos,” I said.

Bernadette shrugged. She still seemed a little put off by the loss of her magic crossbow.

Upon approaching the food cart, we were greeted first by a strange pink dragon creature, then the splendid smell of the roasted fowl. It had been days since we had the rabbit on the trail. Fresh herbs and onions had been prepared in little cups. I was ready. My stomach growled.

“Takos! You want tasty takos, yes!” the creature called.

The creature must have been standing on a stool or something as they were very small, about sized like the goblins we had fought. Its pointy snout sniffed the air involuntarily. Bernadette brightened a bit at the sight of the creature.

“Are you a kobold?” she asked.

“I could be. You have coin?”

“We do,” I said.

He held his scally hand out, while his tail pointed to a sign that said ‘two takos for a copper.’

I dropped a copper into his hand, and a second creature leapt from the cart, and began to shave pieces of the hanging bird with a knife, while the first tossed a kind of tortilla shaped thing on the grill. A third juggled kitchen utensils and waggled his brow.

What a show.

In a matter of seconds we had piping hot tacos for each of us. It smelled like heaven. I didn’t care if they were pigeons or not. I bit into the taco and a burst of flavor brought an involuntary sigh. There were no tomatoes, but the fresh onion and the mild peppers gave it the crunch it needed. And the bird tasted enough like quail that I didn’t mind not knowing exactly either way. They had roasted it perfectly.

The tortilla was some kind of flour, though a little rougher than I was used to. Maybe larger grains.

“This is so good,” I said.

Bernadette nodded as she chewed her own.

“Hey,” I started, “you know anything about this town?”

“Nope,” said the first kobold. “First time here.”

“Second time here,” said the other.

“Here only sometime,” said the third.

“Right, so where did you get the recipe?” I asked.

“My great-grandma started business. She dead now.”

The second kobold interrupted him, saying that it was actually ‘his great grandma.’ The third whacked him on the head with a spatula.

“I’m sorry,” I said, because what else was I supposed to say? “Where do you think she learned it?”

“Family secret,” said the first.

My mind went to Caleb, who may have come to this place thirty years ago. Maybe it had spread from him? How old did kobolds get? Or maybe tacos were an independent invention that just happened to be named the same.

We paid for two more tacos, thanked the kobolds and walked toward the tavern, as they began putting cups in the cart. In moments the whole thing was shut down, and they wheeled the cart off to another location.

I waved to two guards as we walked and finished our food, and they waved back cheerfully. Our hands were horribly greasy, but we wiped them on our pants. I was still pretty hungry, but I could feel a sense of satisfaction spread from my belly to my whole body.

Man, I loved meat. Stupid elves, and their cheese bread, and onion soups. If it indeed was Caleb who brought tacos here, I thanked him.

We walked around the city a bit, just trying to get a lay of the land. The more official buildings, like the courthouse, and the Sheriffs’ estate were huge marble things, very neoclassical. Reminded me of a lot of the government buildings back home.

Eventually, after a couple hours, we made it to a tavern that looked nice and clean.

The place had a sign with five stars on it, one much bigger than the others.

Inside was packed with people, but conversation was hushed. A carved relief of a woman hung over the fireplace. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place who it was. A dart board with a neat row of darts sat unused in the corner. It was probably too early for the after work crowd, so why all of these people?

I walked up to the bar. My eye caught the elegant mythril blade hung above the kegs. Then I saw the woman, and was startled by her face.

“Are you—” I began to ask.

“Denyla,” she said, cutting me off. “You are traveling up from the South?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“My twin sister works at the Sword-Bearing Squirrel.”

“Oh! That makes sense!”

Denyla gave a knowing smile, and asked what she should get for us. Bernadette spoke first, sliding a gold coin over to her.

“Two ales and a question.”

The beautiful elven woman took the coin, then pocketed it. She, like her sister, had an alluring spray of freckles across her ample cleavage.

“Two ales coming right up,” she said.

Bernie leaned in and whispered, “she cut her eyes behind you. Don’t look. I clocked them on the way in. Two guards in black cloaks in the corner.”

I nodded. Curse my gosh darn male libido. I was too busy staring at the bartender’s boobs to notice the plainclothes cops in the corner.

Denyla slid the drinks to us and waited expectantly, suddenly nervous. I took a sip of the ale. It was a little too warm. Bernie leaned in.

“Woman named Oriana may have passed through here with an adventuring crew. Any word on where she was headed?” she asked, using Rachel’s adventuring name.

“No, ma’am,” said Denyla. “Adventurers tend to stay away from Amaryllis. The Throne likes to take care of problems in its own way, so there generally is not any work for them here.”

“What about goblin attacks?” I asked.

“The Throne fears no goblins,” Denyla said with a smile.

“Thank you,” Bernie said.

The bartender paced away, and started wiping down the bar from the furthest end from us. As soon as her back turned I chilled my ale with a Little Tricks spell.

My eyes went back to that sword. I wasn’t sure but it looked an awful lot like the one hung above the forge in the Squirrel. I’d spent hours looking at that thing.

Now, where had I seen the woman above the hearth?

It looked like Sofia, but couldn’t be. So who was it? Well, maybe it was Inara from her adventuring days. What kind of life had she had before being forced to serve evil?

“I’m gonna go ‘talk’ to the guards we met on the way in.”

“Bernie,” I warned. “If you’re doing what I think you’re doing—”

“I don’t know what you think I’m doing, but I won’t be gone longer than an hour. Stay here. Maybe take a bath.”

I sighed. She was probably going to grab our crossbows. If she wound up in jail I was going to be in big trouble. But I was worried that if I went with her, I may draw too much attention. I wasn’t sneaky like her, and I wasn’t as persuasive.

On the other hand, if she wound up in jail maybe she’d get word about Rachel. Hell, maybe they’d toss her in the same cell. Then I could rescue them both.

“Back soon,” she said, kissing me on the cheek, and slipping away.

I sipped my ale, and pulled out my slate.

I texted Caleb on a whim.

Breznik: Did you bring tacos to Vesperalis?

3:00pm

He didn’t text back immediately. I finished my ale, chatted with Denyla a bit, she was less of a conversationalist than her sister but maybe a bit more flirty with her posture, leaning over the counter, batting her eyelashes, that sort of thing. I knew it was an old bartender trick to get me to spend more coin, but it worked.

The slate buzzed.

Caleb: his majesty, when asked about the invention of tacos, says ‘I’ve introduced them to the castle, but haven’t heard of them served elsewhere. It could be possible, but certainly not intentional on my end.’

Caleb: Do you have any other queries?

Breznick: no thanks. Appreciate it.

3:31pm

That was a frustratingly vague answer. I thought it was gonna be an easy ‘yes.’

I took a bath, and returned to the bar. Denyla served me a sandwich very similar to a reuben, sliced beef with some kind of fermented cabbage. It was delicious. It was my first bit of beef since I’d come to Vesperalis. I tried not to gush about how good it was.

“You don’t understand, the elves just have lamb. And so many types of mushrooms. God, I could go months without ever seeing a mushroom again.”

“We’re blessed that the Throne is able to keep us with plentiful beef, even out here,” Denyla said.

My slate buzzed again. Expecting it to be Caleb, I pulled it out without thinking.

Oriana: where are you?

4:07pm

I muttered a curse under my breath and tried to angle my slate away from Denyla. Not that I thought she was gonna turn me in or anything. If she was anything like her sister, she was likely trustworthy. I tapped a message back quickly.

Breznik: at a tavern called ‘the five stars.’

Oriana: great. Goddamned cop bar. Stay there. I’ll come get you.

Oriana: be ready for a fight.

4:08pm

I cursed again, and looked up just in time to see three more figures walk through the door, silver chainmail twinkling, and black and gold tabards peeking from underneath their cloaks.