“If you weren't talking to me just now, then…” Gadalik’s sentence trailed off and he shrank. “Sorry… Never mind…”

Gretel scowled again. “What?” the young wind dragoness demanded. When he didn't meet her gaze, she only got more agitated. “Spit it out! If you've got something to say, just say it already!”

“I said I wouldn't ask you about your past anymore… So I won't…”

She shook her head, frustrated. “I don't care what you ask me!” To her dismay, he cowered even more in response. That frightened look in his eyes was similar to Sabastion’s: it was like he was prey, and thought she was hunting him. “Stop it!” she cried. “I'm not going to hurt you!”

He winced from her volume.

She retreated a step, overcome with guilt. “I'm sorry…” Every time I get upset, I end up hurting him… Why? Why am I like this?! I need to calm down before I make things worse for everyone… “I should go…” The wind type managed to turn toward the mouth of the tree hollow on shaking legs.

“W-Wait,” he begged her, and Gretel hesitated, but she couldn't bring herself to look his way.

“Gretel, you're in no condition to travel,” Guinevere spoke up calmly.

Who cares? If I don't make it after leaving, you'd all be better off…! The wyvern once again bit back a sob.

“I will respect your decision not to share your reasons with us, but I will not allow you to further harm yourself by leaving before you've recovered.”

“Why does it matter?!” Gretel snapped at her. “I'm obviously harming Gadalik by staying!”

“What…?” the hybrid asked, and the genuine shock in his voice caught her off-guard. She finally faced her friend; Gadalik was half-sitting, half-crouched with his short tail and small wings hugging himself. But his head was raised to meet her gaze, and Gretel felt her heart sink when he still saw that fear in his eyes.

“I can sense that Gadalik is scared–but not of you…” the older dragoness corrected her, golden antennae raised to detect both of the juveniles’ feelings. “Rather, he is scared of losing you.”

“Why?!” she cried, even more guilty after that revelation.

“He didn't become frightened until after you said you didn't want any friends.”

Oh…! “Gadalik, I'm sorry… Again, I wasn't talking to you when I said that…”

“Then who were you talking to?” Guinevere prompted gently.

“It was–” Gretel’s mind drew a blank. Why can't I remember…? It was just moments ago, wasn't it?

“Gretel… it's okay… You don't have to tell us anything,” Gadalik assured her quietly.

“It’s not that I don't want to tell you–I just don't know,” she confessed.

“I can offer my hypnosis if that is something you would be willing to try again,” the fairy type said.

Gretel felt herself tense. “I don't know if that's a good idea after what happened the first time…”

“I understand.”

“Wait… What exactly did happen last time…?” the juvenile reluctantly asked. Most of what she recalled from the hypnotism still stuck–such as the memory of her singing on a tree branch during the storm in a forest below a plateau. She even remembered that she had in fact lived in a society, if only for a short time. The details, and everything after that also escaped her mind. What she did remember was how upset she had gotten at the end of it, and Gretel didn't want to feel that way ever again.

Gadalik opened his mouth as if to answer, but shut it. Then he seemed torn, and ultimately faced her. “You said you didn't want to remember ‘him’ and that you hated him. And… then you left.”

“Oh… Then I think he was who I was talking to just now…” But that doesn't tell me who he is…

“You weren't that upset until I mentioned revealer dragons,” Guinevere added.

Gretel froze. Anger and helplessness suddenly seized her. “I don't want to remember him…” she confirmed what the hybrid had said. “And ever since I met you, Gadalik, I haven't really been approaching strangers as much. Not until after I left a few days ago.”

“Is there a connection between these dangerous encounters and your memories of this revealer dragon?”

I never thought about that… “Maybe…?”

“Then I ask you again what you hope to gain from these encounters.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

The wyvern frowned. “I don't know, okay?” she said honestly, tail-tip flicking with the slightest amount of aggravation directed at herself. “Maybe I'm trying to prove something to him… Or maybe to myself. Or maybe even to you guys.”

“Prove what…?”

“I don't know…!”

“Guinevere, maybe we shouldn't press her,” Gadalik murmured.

Gretel frowned. Does he think I can't handle finding out?! She shook her head and took a breath to regain composure, knowing he was only trying not to upset her. She sighed. “I guess… I just want to prove that I'm not–” She stopped herself from saying ‘unlovable.’ Of course I'm lovable! It's not my fault other dragons like Sebastion are too stuck-up to let me prove that to them! Her attempt at self-reassurance quickly faltered. But they don't even give me a chance before they attack or flee… If everyone treats me that way, maybe that means I am the problem…? Maybe I'm unlovable after all…

“I can feel immense sorrow from you,” Guinevere sympathized, the glow of her pink wings shifting to blue. “Perhaps we should focus on why these encounters had stopped after meeting Gadalik instead.”

“What…?”

“You mentioned that until you left after our last session days ago, you haven't been going near other dragons.”

“Oh–right. Yeah… I still like exploring, but I stopped trying to approach strangers after I met Gadalik. I guess… because I didn't need to anymore? Gadalik is the only dragon who didn't run or hurt me when we first met… I felt safe with him, just like Efron.”

“Efron…? Is that the name of your old revealer friend who liked your singing?”

Gretel froze, her tail lashing as an outlet for sudden anger and anxiety. “He didn't like my singing…” she replied almost voicelessly. “He was a liar. He never cared about me…! He was just lonely, and I was the only one who was around him,” the wyvern growled with anger that was directed at her former friend. “I… I hate him…!”

“Oh…?” The fairy dragoness tilted her head ever so slightly. “I believe you're telling the truth; however, I can sense that there is an underlying feeling of longing.”

“Longing? For what?”

“You tell me.”

“I am not longing for Efron! In fact, if I ever see him again, I'll roar his ears bloody!”

“It may not necessarily be a longing for Efron. Perhaps it is a longing for that safety you mentioned feeling with him.”

“What…? Why would I care about that with him, when I have that same safety with Gadalik?”

“I cannot tell you the reasons behind your feelings; I can only tell you the feelings I sense from you. I am merely trying to fit them into the context of what you've told me.”

“Maybe you don't feel safe with me?” the hybrid dared himself to ask.

Gretel looked to her friend, stung by the implication. “As if!” she laughed reassuringly. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

“I didn't, but you said Efron did,” he pointed out, “and you kept saying how similar I am to him…”

She scoffed dismissively. “Oh, come on. I never saw you in a bad light!”

“You did get worried that I would abandon you to stay in the earth dragon society, though…”

Gretel shrank, her smile falling. “I'm sorry… But like I said before I left: I trust you. It's just… you really are a lot like Efron when he and I first met…”

“I detect a trace of doubt,” Guinevere reported. Then her wings changed hue to green for a moment before flashing yellow and then settling on their neutral pink. “I think I understand why you approach strangers now.”

“Huh? Really?”

“Yes, but you can correct me if I'm wrong.”

“I'm listening.”

“I believe you're searching for someone who provides you safety, yet who doesn't remind you of Efron. Given how you've repressed your memories of him, I'm assuming Gadalik did meet your criteria for a time, which is why you resorted to exploring rather than approaching strangers,” the blue dragoness explained.

That makes sense…

“But… she started going after them again,” the hybrid reminded her. “First the fire dragon that slashed her, and then Sebastion. If she's after them to find safety, that means she doesn't feel safe with me anymore…”

“Gadalik, that isn't true,” Gretel immediately denied it to comfort her friend. Then she hesitated and looked to the fluffy adult for validation. “Right…?”

“Again, I do not know the reasons behind your feelings… However, the faint doubt I sensed from you leads me to believe that the connection you've drawn between them makes you feel the slightest bit unsafe–as if you suspect things will end badly with Gadalik similarly to how things ended with Efron.”

“No! I mean, I trust Gadalik! He'd never turn on me like that!”

“I'm sure you might have felt that exact way about Efron, once.”

She shook her head in denial. “I'm not stupid or crazy! I know they're completely different dragons!”

Guinevere softened. “Your conscious mind knows that… but your subconscious mind might not.”

“Ugh, none of that makes any sense!”

“Allow me to use analogies. Let's say that your conscious mind is simply what you know, and your subconscious is something tangible–think of it like a part of your body. If your body gets wounded, and you know why, then that wound will heal; you can take steps to avoid reopening that wound.”

“Okay…? And?”

“If your body gets wounded, but you don't know why, then–figuratively speaking–that wound would not heal on its own. Think of it like a wide cut that would need sutures.”

“Well, that's dumb,” she muttered. “Why? How would knowledge suture it?”

“Knowledge alone won't be enough to suture it, but knowledge is necessary to find out how to suture it. In your case, you've repressed that knowledge because the memories of it upset you. But now that those memories have resurfaced, you know the reasons. The next step is to suture them by acting on that knowledge.”

“Acting on it? What are you talking about?”

“Taking steps to heal and find closure.”

Gretel backed away from her slightly. “You want me to make up with Efron?!”

“Not necessarily. In this case, I think you should learn to accept others who give you that sense of safety–like Gadalik.”

“I already told you, I do trust Gadalik–”

“Yet you repeatedly run from him and refuse to accept his help.”

Gretel wanted to argue, then realized she was right. I didn't even notice I've been doing that… “It's not personal toward Gadalik, though… I don't like accepting help from anyone.”

“Hm. Can I ask why not?”

“I don't know! I just don't want others to think I'm not capable on my own.”

“Everyone needs help at some points in their lives. That doesn't make you any less capable.”

“I know that! But when they think I'm not capable, they'll call me useless and a waste of prey and–” Gretel caught herself. Where is all of this coming from…?

“Is that how Efron made you feel?” Gadalik asked sympathetically.

“No–it wasn't Efron… I can't really remember who they were.”

“They?” Guinevere echoed. “As in, more than one dragon?”

“Yeah. Everyone. They all hated me and ridiculed me, while Efron just…” Gretel took a breath. “I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about it…”

“I understand. I appreciate you opening up to us… For now, get some rest.”