Angel soared over the heavy clouds beneath the swath of stars. The moon hung fat and full. Fury fueled him forward. Electric blue life-force surged from within, cycling around in undulation, streaking behind him like a comet.

The wind whistled past his ears, pushing out the spinning thoughts into a whooshing cacophony. His mind reached a singularity. Like atoms colliding there was only rational, volatile, reaction.

He descended, landing on Julian’s front lawn with a thud. The tall grass was slick with fog, chilling his legs even through his jeans. Angel marched up to the door, wings dragging behind him.

The front door was unlocked and Angel let himself inside to find Julian half-asleep on the couch. A black and white Western played on the television, the volume up to full blast. The door slammed shut, and he jolted awake, looking at Angel in the archway.

Julian’s eyes widened and he scooched backward on the couch, his mouth open, unsure if he was about to speak or scream.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Angel demanded, unable to recognise his own voice. It was level and somehow calm, despite the surge of heat broiling within.

“I -I tried,” Julian stammered, sitting up. “The other night-”

So that’s what that was all about.

“Why not sooner?” Angel asked. “Even a month ago would have been nice. Here’s the kicker too. Nyx thought for a second that if you knew what happened, that I had really died, you might actually start to give a shit about me.”

“I do care about you Angel,” Julian exclaimed. “That’s what this has always been about. I wanted to protect you. How was I supposed to tell you? If you didn’t need to know, you could be spared the pain.”

The heat inside Angel’s chest surged, flaring the blue light around him.

“That’s bullshit,” he spat. “Since when have you ever spared me any pain?”

“Yes, I’ve been hard on you,” Julian continued, slowly getting to his feet. “It was only ever for your own good.”

Angel took an instinctive step back, catching himself before bumping against the stairs.

“Nothing I said or did would ever get through to you,”Julian said. “If you had just listened, there wouldn’t have been any need for any of it.”

The heat inside expanded, sizzling Angel from the inside. It seemed simply existing had been enough to irritate Julian.

He hates every bit of me. What did he want me to do? What could I have done, other than be someone else entirely?

“All you ever did was treat me like an inconvenience at best, and a stray dog at worst,” Angel snapped. “Everyone was just watching and waiting for me to fuck up, wondering when the fire-works were finally gonna go off and you could see what the lab had created. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be tolerated? Like someone you have to put up with. Did you all really think I couldn’t feel it?”

“Angel,“ Julian began as his eyes began to water. “It’s so hard to explain. After what happened with Ember, I wasn’t in any place to raise a kid. She broke me. Her selfish disregard started a war, and then she had to go and get herself killed in the middle of it. Then all of a sudden Ivy’s giving me this egg, demanding I raise it because it’s what Ember wanted. Well, what about what I want?”

And that’s clearly not me. How can he stand there and blame Mom for what happened to her? She didn’t ask for any of it. All she wanted to do was see the island.

A wave of disgust washed over Angel.

“It wasn’t her fault,” he snapped. “Stop blaming her for five fucking seconds! All I’ve ever heard for the past twenty-two years is how she ruined your life and made you utterly miserable, and I’m some sort of extension of her torment.”

I never knew her, but I knew you. All I wanted was for you to see me.

The air thickened, crackling with static as the lights flickered. The hairs rose on the back of Angel’s arms and a chill rippled up his spine, but the tingling of fear stirring in his guts only served to fuel his rage.

“Fuck you, Angel,” Julian roared and raised his hand almost like a reflex.

Angel snatched his wrist and glared down at him. “Do not fucking touch me.”

Julian looked up and seemed to finally recognize the reality before him.

The azure glow emanating from within ignited the contours of Angel’s body and mud-caked chest. Black wings rounded up over his head, semi-spread and ready.

Julian was the first to break eye contact and Angel let him go. He shuffled back a step, staring at the floor, rubbing his wrist.

A pang of guilt stirred in his stomach. He hadn’t intended to hurt him. Not once had Angel ever raised a hand to retaliate or defend himself.

“I was supposed to get us here safely and I failed,” Julian muttered. “I was supposed to protect her, and I was only trying to protect you too, but you were so hell-bent on causing trouble. Every time I turn around, you’re up to something. The last thing we needed was for Ivy to come back for you.”

“Why not let her take me?” Angel asked. “Then you’d be rid of me.”

Julian glanced up as if he were hurt Angel would even ask. “You’re my son.”

The words should have dissolved the anger within him. He’d waited so long to hear them, to feel it was true. There should be some sort of tenderness. Instead, rage surged in his chest.

“I haven’t been your son a day in my life, and you never let me forget it!”

Angel turned and stormed out the door. His wings were already spread when he reached the lawn. The light was no longer visible. It lingered beneath his skin. Its warmth mingled with the intense heat inside. The pendulum had sung so far through his fury it flew past mindless rage to a cold, distant logic.

His mind was clear, but on the surface only. On one level, everything seemed to make so much more sense, but with it came new pain ripping into him with talons of its own. Perhaps it had always been there, buried beneath the confusion. A storm of thoughts and memories barbed in his subconscious.

There's no coming back from this. How can I continue life here as normal, like nothing happened and move on?

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

Warm summer wind moved through Angel's wings as he flew over the trees. Petrichor and ozone lingered in the air.

Beneath all the anguish, a nothingness oozed through him, black and sticky like tar.

No wonder Julian could never love me. How could anyone? Nyx thinks she does, but now she'll see what the others did all this time. I'm empty.

Fuck.

I need to feel something. Anything.

The parking-lot was busier than he'd ever seen it. Cars, trucks, motorcycles - vehicles of all sorts crowded the clearing. People gathered in groups, passing cigarettes or joints between them. The Barn threatened to burst at the seams, stuffed to the brim with patrons. Smoke blanketed the air, coloured by the flashing strobe lights. Music with heavy guitar riffs and pounding, violent drums smashed overhead from struggling speakers.

The mass of energy in the room wrapped around him, thick and miasmic. It flowed outside and inside all at the same time. It was like dunking underwater and becoming acutely aware of being completely submerged and united.

Finally, he could breath, pulling it in slow and steady, letting the life-force attempt to fill the void. He held it inside, resting on the knife’s edge of overflow before release, only taking in as much as he needed to maintain this state.

Angel crowded over to the bar. There was no Cassie. He bought a couple of shots. The liquor went down like fire.

To his sensitive ears, the sound of fists on flesh could not be drowned out, not even by the pounding music or raucous cheers and voices. Bones snapped and crunched. Reflexively, he touched his ribs, remembering how they'd splintered under Carl's fists a month before.

The crowd cheered. The music stopped.

This time is different. This time I win. Then I’ll have more than enough money to fly off this island.

"Aluminum Carl does it again!" Jeff’s amplified voice boomed across the sea of people. "Undefeated! One hundred-thousand dollars is on the table!"

Volunteers bellowed over each other, scrambling to get a shot at getting demolished or winning the money.

Angel drummed his fingers against the top of the bar. Not yet. He'd wait until the eager ones were out of the way.

Kismet's words on the beach pricked at his brain.

There's gotta be something broken in me. Nyx doesn't deserve to waste her efforts. I’m completely numb. It’s horrible to drag her down and feed false promises I can never fulfill.

His wallet thinned as the night went on, drinking one shot after another. This time when Jeff announced Carl's victory, there were a few murmurs within the crowd, but the enthusiasm had died down.

Angel plunked his glass on the counter.

"I'll do it!" he yelled.

Jeff scanned the crowd, looking for who had spoken, then found Angel. A grin split across his weasel-thin face.

"Grub! You're alive!"

The crowd rotated. People shuffled to try and see who Jeff was speaking to.

"Come to be flattened again?"

"If you'll let me," Angel said, unwavered.

"It's your funeral." Jeff shrugged and gestured for him to come forward.

Angel moved through the crowd toward the ring of hay bales. Their energy was like a thin mist around him, like swimming through cobwebs.

Blood stained Carl's knuckles and streaked across his bare chest. Sweat sheened on his rippling muscles. The strobe lights flashed a prism of colours, and for a moment, Angel's senses blended together. Then it twisted. Everything sharpened into a crisp focus again.

Carl grinned from across the ring. Blood oozed between broken teeth.

Nyx will kill me if Carl doesn't. Maybe that's what I want even more than the money. Running won't be enough. It's not like I didn't warn her.

The loose life-force emanating off the crowd flowed into Angel, uniting with the solar flare mounting within his chest.

Win or lose. Shred and be shredded. It doesn’t matter. It’s all that matters.

Carl threw the first punch. Angel ducked, lunged and caught him around the waist, pushing his body weight forward. The force of the momentum knocked the larger man off balance and he fell backward.

Angel stradled him, wings spread for balance and leverage. His fist connected with Carl's jaw. Knuckles cracked and broke against metal. They shattered and reformed in seconds.

A shocked moment of marvel was all it took for Carl to regain his bearings. A metal fist smashed into the side of Angel's stomach and he hit the dirt. It was made muddy with blood.

Angel scrabbled to his feet and squared up. Each of them eyed the other, anticipating movement. He lunged. Carl struck him in the face like a bat smacking a ball. He turned, spitting a tooth. Blood was thick and warm in his mouth. Angel spread his wings. When Carl swung again, Angel caught his fist, then punched with the other. His knuckles crashed against the side of Carl's head.

The larger man grunted and blinked, but hardly stumbled.

Carl grinned as metal spread from the center of his chest. It flowed outward across every inch of his skin until he was completely covered.

"Now we're playing for keeps,” he growled.

Angel grit his teeth and braced himself. Sweat formed on the back of his neck. His breath rasped in his ears. The sound of his rapid heartbeat roared over the drums.

Carl threw a right hook. Angel tried to duck but the metallic fist crashed into his left temple. He blinked away stars as Carl's elbow caught him on the other side. As Angel fell, Carl brought his knee up to meet him. His vision blinked out, clipping back in when he was on the ground again.

A boot smashed into Angel's ribs. The snap was loud. Pain cut through his rage. He sucked in a breath through his teeth even as his ribs healed. Life-force flowed freely from the crowd, pouring into him. Nothing Carl could do would last.

He started to laugh. It was absurd.

"What is wrong with you?" Carl snarled, kicking him again.

It hurt less and healed faster. Angel scrambled away and staggered to his feet.

Using his wings for leverage, he leapt forward and threw a punch. Carl tried to block it with his forearm, but Angel's fist landed with a metallic clang. He kept hitting. One after the other.

Carl staggered backward.

Knuckles broke and split apart against the other man's metal jaw. Then the metal began to dent. Angel thrashed forward. Ignited. Carl braced himself and blocked a punch with his arm then drove a knee into Angel's stomach again.

Angel gasped, the wind knocked out of him. He recovered and swung again. This time the metal on Carl's head began to recede. Panic clouded his eyes, as he attempted to block Angel's blows.

Thoughts fled from Angel's mind, mesmerized by his own fists landing one after the other, the endless stream of life-force joining with the mass he created, fueling each strike until Carl's nose crunched. Blood splurted over his face and down his chest.

The energy Angel generated as he moved consumed him. The light enveloped his entire body, but he was too delirious to care.

Another punch landed on flesh. Angel's fist connected with the side of Carl's temple. The man swayed. Then fell.

In a daze, panting for breath, Angel finally heard the silence of the crowd. Not even the band played.

Blood coated his fists, splashing up his forearms. The crowd stared at him with slacked jaws and horror in their eyes. Jeff stayed on the opposite side of the hay bales.

"What are you waiting for?" Angel asked, then spat blood. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I fucking won didn't I?"

Jeff blinked then moved forward, climbing over the hay bales as if on autopilot. His purple overcoat caught on the loose chunks of hay. The room was now so silent, his scrambling footsteps on the dirt could be heard above the nervous murmurs of the people. He wouldn't touch Angel to raise his arm in victory. That was fine. It made no difference.

Some of Carl's friends jumped in to his aid. The large man groaned, then sat up. The metal coating his flesh receded entirely. Braced between the two men, he hobbled out of the ring.

"The Lich wins!" Jeff called.

A Lich. A corpse returned. Is that what I am now?

Jeff's words rang true.

The familiarity of announcing a winner brought Jeff back to himself. Perhaps he saw dollar signs. Carl had raked it in for weeks and now he'd need a new champion. Tough luck. Angel had no intentions of hanging around. Especially not now.

Bloodthirst outweighed the crowd's fear and trepidation. As if making up their minds, and following Jeff's enthusiastic lead, the crowd erupted into cheers.

Angel's heart pounded and his chest heaved, struggling to catch his breath. He thought standing on this side of the burning bridge would feel righteous. Instead, it was hollow. The tar pit of emptiness remained. If anything it was deeper than before. All he wanted was to go home to Nyx, but it was all ashes now.

There was nothing left for him to do but watch the flames.