THE SHERIFF OF HNUT / CH. 2: COMPETITION

Extracts from report of first contact group

These guys are friendly and really bright. The grasp concepts and patterns really quickly. They also have incredible fine motor control on their 'lower arms', and would have no need for micro-manipulators. Given a magnifying glass or microscope and the necessary nasty chemicals, they can basically hand-paint a functioning thousand-transistor integrated circuit in about an hour. It's incredible to see them work.

But their traditions are really strong. Law is basically subservient to honour in most subject areas, it only gets much of a look-in when family honour is not at stake, e.g a common brawl.

We've just lost another bright translator to a 'blood feud' which is basically a legal convention that justifies the males of one family having a go at murdering one or more males of another, after which the other side can have a go. It also involves the females too, in that a guy marrying a girl whose family has a blood feud means he's semi-expected to murder her clan-enemies too. There are some further complications (of course!).

One is that you can't attack kids under ten. This leads either to widows raising implacable enemies as in 'you killed my father, prepare to die' or a hiatus in the bloodshed as one side waits for all the under-aged males to grow up. Another complication is that there are things called limited blood feuds, joint blood feuds, and forgotten blood-feuds.

A forgotten blood feud is where no one claims to remember the cause, and in that case a marriage can heal the rift. There seem very few other options to solve a blood feud, once one has broken out, but the turn-based attacks mean that they can be very drawn out, especially when the head of a family is a believer. There's no requirement that a revenge attack be launched, and their scripture even says 'I will repay, says God. I will not overlook the one who continues a blood-feud nor the one who caused it. Forgive as I forgive.” Interpretations of what exactly this means vary, and some actually consider it a blessing on the system.

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HNUT, FATHERDAY MORNING,

“So, I understand you've got your wedding planned before I've even met him?” Yagah challenged Lenepoli the next morning.

“No. I'm not looking for a husband, and our new sheriff was not expecting to decide on a wife on his first day. He'll be here a long time.”

“Until his father or mother needs him, or something.”

“His family lived in Reqiq. He was away from home, studying.”

“Studying What?”

“He didn't say.”

“You didn't ask?”

“Our new sheriff is... suspicious, I guess the word is, about why we want to know so much about him, when we say so little about ourselves. He's also an expert at twisting questions into making it see like you're throwing yourself at him, like with my whistling the Qnut song, to see if he really was from there. That turned out to be even more embarrassing than I thought.”

“Why?”

“Have you heard of Drana? Part of the city?”

“Where males can.. buy company?”

“Females too, I think. The Qnut song is often used as an... advertisement.”

“He knows that from his police work?”

“From his parents. They were poor, and lived there for a while, before moving to Reqiq.”

“Reqiq? You mentioned that place, didn't you? Is where the landslide was?”

“He wasn't at home. The rest his family were.”

“Poor guy. What else did you talk about?”

“Crime and punishment, mostly. Like what happened to Shashana's attackers: Crest-rot.”

“That's a disease, isn't it? From not keeping clean?”

“And a punishment. Twenty-four hours in an infected pool, by which time it's fully established and untreatable.”

“The government keeps a pool specially?”

“No, but health inspectors keep finding them.”

“Yuck.”

“I know. No wonder we were told to wash well if we ever swam in a public pool. It infects other parts too, reproductive organs. Apparently one of them was married, and his wife begged the court to let her have a child with him. She got a week to harvest his sperm.”

“Do I want to know how?”

“I don't. I expect if you ask, then Sheriff Dirak will tell you in graphic detail or lend you a book.”

“His thlunk didn't seem to that laden down.”

“He came on ahead, the cart arrived after dark. Dad says he's never seen so many books outside a library. I think it must be his hobby.”

“What, buying books?”

“And reading them.”

“He must be very lonely.”

“Yagah, that's the thing... he's not lonely, he's got his work, he's got faith, and he's got his library. He's no more looking for a wife to fill his time than I'm looking for a husband to fill mine.”

“He called you beautiful, though.”

“He called me beautiful, he called Shashana 'as beautiful as blue sky over the mountain peaks after weeks of fog', but he might have been quoting, but that's just outside. He's used to the big city where some stupid girls dye their plumage purple to attract male attention, to make them stand out in a crowd because they think they need to do that. To him it just makes him sure they've nothing more to offer. He just about said that he's not going to be interested in marriage unless he decides one of us is beautiful inside too.”

“What does that mean?”

“He's not going to judge us on appearances. There's an expression in the city, 'you don't judge a book by the cover'.”

“I don't judge a book by anything; books are books. So you're not going to mind me chasing him.”

“I thought you were after Girt; have you changed your mind?”

“If Girt looked at me like he looks at you, I would be his in a flash.”

“If the sheriff looked at me like Girt tries, I'd be angry at him too. But I'm never going to marry Girt. It'd be a disaster; I'd claw his eyes out. I'm not nearly so certain about the sheriff.”

“You're trying to tell me you would mind, aren't you?”

Lenepoli looked at Yagah. “If you chase Girt, I'll cheer you on. If you chase the sheriff too much, then I might do some chasing too, just to let him know I'm not totally immune to his crest.”

“Impressive, is it?”

“Girt's crest is probably more impressive, actually. But there's the rest of him too. The sheriff certainly wins in the thinking things through and being sure department, which I really like.”

“What about muscles?”

“Girt wins, again.”

“I'm a simple girl, with simple tastes. I like muscles.”

“Then please, take Girt!”

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SHERIFF'S OFFICE, FATHERDAY MORNING

An impressively built male walked into the office and looked Dirak up and down, somewhat dismissively. “Good morning, sheriff. I'm Girt, thought I'd introduce myself. Son of Rangar the thlunk farmer. Good animal you rode in on, and I guess you need 'im for work, but if you're interested in a second one, or you find you don't need him, give us a shout. Top of the hill on the right.”

“Thank you for the information Girt. I'll bear it in mind.”

“One other thing to bear in mind: Lenepoli's mine. Everyone knows it.”

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“She didn't seem to.”

“Pastor doesn't hold with duelling, calls it barbaric, and normally I'd agree with him. But I might think of making an exception if someone made a move on my Lenepoli.”

“Girt son of Rangar the thlunk farmer, the law has changed on some things you ought to know. Firstly, duelling is no longer a legal cause. If someone is killed or injured in a duel it is just like them being injured or killed in a bar-room fight, which is to say criminal wounding or murder. Secondly, it is no longer acceptable to intimidate someone into marriage. If you try to make a girl your sexual partner or wife by force, or intimidation of her or her relatives then you are are attempting rape. If you are found guilty of attempting rape, the punishment is castration by Crest-rot infection. If you are found guilty of actual rape — which includes marriage by intimidation — the punishment is of course public burning.”

“So... it's true, you are making a move on my Lenepoli.”

“I have said nothing about my attitude to that female. I am the representative of the law in this district, be that as judge, policeman or educator. I have just educated you on various aspects of law. My greetings to your relatives.”

“If you try to take my Lenepoli, I'll rip your head off.”

“Threatening a sheriff is a criminal offence, Girt. So I'm going to assume you didn't mean that and it was just a figure of speech. I hope you don't mind, I've got to read these reports.”

Girt looked down on the male behind the desk; he looked calm, bored even. Girt could feel his own crest pulsing in anger. In as insulting a manner he as he could he said “Oh, /I've got to read these reports, so I'm going to ignore your threat./ Nothing to do with being a coward then. Go back home, Mr desk-polisher from the city, it'll be much healthier for you. Who are you going to call on to help you arrest me? I call you a coward, and I repeat myself, that I'll fight you and smash you if you make a move on my Lenepoli. Go back to the city or I challenge you to a duel.”

Dirak couldn't help himself; he laughed. “Where is she? Did she put you up to this? You're a good actor, Girt, I'll tell you that. You almost had you believing you were serious for a moment there. Go on, scat. I've got work to do.”

“Stand up and fight, you poor excuse for a pencil pusher!” Girt shouted, loud enough to gain attention.

“Girt, that's enough, game over,” Dirak said, still laughing. “No one's stupid enough to challenge a sheriff to a duel, that's a criminal offence, and no one's stupid enough to challenge a Zerker to a duel either, well, not unless the nurses in the hospital are really pretty. Come to think of it, is there a village hospital?”

Wiping the laughter-induced tears from his eyes, Dirak noticed Girt's crest was full-red. “Girt, son of Rangar, you are joking, aren't you?”

“Girt doesn't know how to joke, Sheriff,” Yagah said, attracted by the shouting.

“Duel, sheriff Pencil pusher!” Girt shouted once more. It was almost a trumpet. Dirak stood up slowly, “Girt, son of Rangar. I understand that you are upset that I thought you were acting and joking, and I do not want to have to arrest you on our first meeting. Leave now, and we will say it was all a misunderstanding.”

“Girt, you can't duel the sheriff!” Yagah said.

“Duel.” This time it was a full trumpet. Dirak calmly held his staff in one hand and stepped to one side of the desk, in front of the open cell door. “Girt, you are under arrest for threatening a sheriff. If you resist arrest you may be wounded in the process. Get your red-flaming crest in this cell and cool off a bit before you get hurt.”

“Die!” Came the next trumpet from the enraged male and he leapt towards Dirak. Anger at the stupidity of the situation had fuelled enough Zerker enzymes for Dirak to move out of his way easily. “No, thank you,” Dirak said, in a quiet voice, calmly sliding the cell door shut before Girt had even managed to slow himself. There was a noisy crash as he hit the opposite wall.

“Coward!” Girt raged as he turned and saw the sheriff stepping away from he bars. There was blood on his forehead, but he hadn't damaged his crest, Dirak saw.

“Thank you for not resisting arrest, Girt son of Rangar. Can I be of assistance, miss...?”

“I'm Yagah, Sheriff. You were very fast.”

“I was slightly fast. I assume my crest has gone slightly green?”

“Yes. I've never seen that before,” she tried not to sound disgusted, but couldn't really hide what she felt at seeing the colour and the way his crest was looking... under-full. “Zerker enzymes do it.” He turned round, “Your words didn't get me angry, Girt, just the situation. But you still didn't stand much of a chance. If you really see me angry, my crest will be full green, and you'd barely see me move unless I was toying with you. So, the situation. Who told you that you could call Lenepoli yours?”

Girt didn't reply. “Hmph. Next question, who told you that I was after her? Who set you up to be the first idiot in the village to trigger my Zerker enzymes and almost get your bones shattered?”

“It was probably me, Sheriff,” Yagah said, in a small voice. “Don't be too harsh on Girt, please, sir. It was my fault. He's been after Lenepoli for years, even before she went to the city. While she was gone he'd say things like 'she'll come back to me, you see.' But she's always told him to get lost. I thought... I thought he might look at me if she wasn't single.”

“You told him that I was after her?”

“I told Girt she'd told me that I was welcome to him, which is true. And that you'd been talking to her late into the night and she was really glad you'd come to so she wouldn't need to stay single. That's not really what she said, but...”

“Right, young woman, for your part in provoking that attack, I'm putting you under arrest too. You probably get out of jail by supper-time tomorrow, I'll need to check up on the law. I also need to seek advice about what to do with your boyfriend there. You get that cell.”

“She's not my girlfriend,” Girt said, after the second cell had clanged shut.

“That pretty girl's just got herself arrested for your sake, Girt. She says she likes you and I'd say getting arrested for you is proof. And I'm not sure I've not seen any plumage redder than hers anywhere in the city. You know what they say about reds, surely?”

Yagah blushed. It was more than a little humiliating, being compared to stereotypes, but... she did want to capture Girt's attention. Did that make her 'eager for bed' as they said? Compared to Lenepoli she guessed she was. “Sheriff?” she asked, “If I can convince Girt to marry me as soon as he's out of jail, would that count in favour of a reduced sentence?”

“Well... It would certainly reduce the risk of a second offence,” Dirak said.

“And... If I'm to live up to the vulgar stereotype you've just been discourteous enough to mention, just how short might his incarceration be?”

“I'll have to seek advice, Yagah. Conveniently for your plans, I'll be asking Reverend Ruath.”

Yagah blushed even more deeply.

“Yagah, you mean it?” Girt asked, as his brain slowly realised an alternative future to prolonged singleness he'd get from Lenepoli. “You'd marry me to get me out of prison?”

“Not just out of prison. I don't want you moping about how beautiful Lenepoli is if I marry you.”

“She's not beautiful. You are.”

“Girt, why have you been chasing Lenepoli if she's not beautiful?”

“Dad says I'm ten times more stubborn than any thlunk. Guess e's right.”

Dirak checked the locks and left them to finish that conversation on their own.

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PASTOR RUATH'S OFFICE, FATHERDAY LUNCHTIME

“Lenepoli, come in, I want your help. Sheriff Dirak here is just asking what to do now that he's arrested Girt and Yagah.”

“You what?”

“I arrested Girt for threatening me in front of a witness, Yagah. Her, I arrested for inciting Girt to get into a fight with me. She admitted as much, asked me to be lenient on him because it was all her fault for lying to him about what you told her.”

“Oh no... what did she say to him?”

“That we'd been talking late last night and that you were glad I'd come because it meant you didn't need to stay single. He then came round to the office and claimed you were his exclusive possession, keep out.”

“And you said she's not interested in me either?”

“I said that he wasn't allowed to call you his until you'd agreed to it, and that the rape law had been extended to include marriages through force or intimidation. I guess he took that as saying I was going to stop him from getting near you, and he started calling me names and challenged me. You'd not mentioned him at all, so I thought you'd set it up as some kind of 'welcome to the village, see, we're not stupid' stunt, with Girt acting the offended dumb boyfriend.”

“Girt hasn't the brains to act.”

“Was I supposed to know that? When you didn't come out from behind the door when I burst out laughing, and I couldn't get him to admit he'd been acting, I realised he might be a bit offended by me saying no one was stupid enough to challenge a sheriff to a duel, nor a Zerker to one either, and offered to let him go rather than arrest him. For some reason that didn't appeal and eventually he worked himself up into full red-crested-rage, trumpeting 'Duel' and 'Coward'.”

“How badly injured is he?” she asked, with a horrible feeling of where the story was going. “I was just in front of the cell door when he charged me. Sidestep and slammed gate, prisoner one behind bars. All because Yagah wanted to turn his head. But it seems to have worked.”

“What do you mean, it 'seems to have worked'?”

“She's asked if I can release the prisoner into her loving custody, and he's admitted that not only was he persisting after you because of stubbornness, but that he — sorry if this hurts your ego — actually thinks she's prettier than you.”

“You find this funny, don't you?”

“Don't you, beautiful Lenepoli?” Dirak asked “If it was in the theatre it would be counted as a farce. Now, on the plus side, they're talking now, and he's happy that she's willing to marry him to get him out of jail. Eventually, however, they might just realise that if she refuses to testify, then — legally speaking — the case against him, and consequently her becomes less water-tight, and a competent lawyer might get them both off on some technicality.”

“So, daughter, how attached are you to the constant aggravation of Girt assuming he's your suitor and asking you to marry him, and how long should we give the village to think of him and Yagah as a pair, before the marriage ceremony?”

“Urm, why are you asking me?”

“Because you're going to tell Yagah's parents about it, I'm going to get back to the office, and your father has volunteered to tell Rangar and wife. We wouldn't want you to have to deliver a message you didn't feel comfortable with.”

“I imagine the whole village will know they're in jail together by night-fall,”

the Reverend said.

“In separate cells,” Dirak said at that suggestion. “What do you think of letting her out tonight and the wedding tomorrow? Or shall we let them have longer to think about it?”

“Longer to think means him in jail longer?” Lenepoli asked.

“There is a principle... the normal minimum jail term is at least a week. Release for marriage is an allowable mitigation.” Dirak said.

“What about release to help his dad on the farm?” Ruath asked.

“Hmm... day release, under suitable guard to make sure he doesn't escape?” Dirak asked.

“Who's going to guard him?” Lenepoli asked.

“How about we task Yagah with that? I expect she'll want to be spending time there anyway,” Ruath replied.

“All agreed?” Dirak asked.

“Wonderful. Now that's one happy couple sorted,” pastor Ruath said. “what about the other one the village is talking about?”

“Which one's that?” Dirak asked.

“My beloved father is probably talking about us, Sheriff,” Lenepoli said.

“You do realise that by sorting out Girt's future you've now cut your choices down to singleness, me, or going somewhere else to look for a wife?”

“Well, I do have the other villages in my patch that I need to visit every so often.”

“That's a relief,” Lenepoli said.

“I happened to ask my fellow pastors whether there were any other girls roughly your age without a pair, daughter. Guess what the answer was.”

“Father, that's not called reducing the pressure.”

“Well... as I think I said yesterday, Lenepoli, I don't know you well enough to make any life-changing decisions, and of course you don't know me well enough, either.”

“Absolute agreement from me.”

“So there can't be any decisions, can there?”