(Steven Edwards)

A few days later, it was just a normal morning for me. I woke with the sun in my eyes and to Kara tucked into my side. I had gotten so use to sleeping next to someone that it would feel weird if the bed was empty. My little kitty was clingy and cute as hell. I pulled back the covers and she tucked in tighter as she groaned. “No. Not time.” She grabbed at the covers and tried to cover her head. I scooted her up and kissed her neck as I whispered into her pointed ear.

“Time to get up.” I said playfully. She moaned, purred, but fought to stay asleep. “There is something outside you want.” I said hoping that would do the trick. She blinked and gave me a coy look.

“Something in here I want more. Sleep” She clung to my chest and I laughed making her head bounce. Only one thing could get her out of bed and it was flashing on the screen right now.

“Sweet tooth boar.'' I said as I lifted the covers to look at the top of her head. The large pig had huge scary tusks. It got its name from the sweet fruits and crops it was attracted to. Her ear flicked and she pushed back looking me in the eye. Her eyes and ears were suddenly alert, ears focused on me.

“Maple bacon?” She asked and I could see her blinking, her brain starting to gear up. I nodded and kissed her forehead.

“Maple bacon.” I said as she leaped from the bed and quickly got dressed. I laughed and got up, heading to the kitchen. It was easier to wake the girls with food than it was to try to dislodge them from the covers. “I’ll get breakfast ready.” She looked over at me and blinked, pulling her hood up. Suddenly she was in front of me, pulling me down into a deep kiss.

“I’ll kill first than food. I need a warm up. Hot tea please” She pressed her forehead against mine. I leaned up slightly and kissed the top of her head as she giggled and took off through the open window. I laughed and went to the kitchen. It had become my routine and I wasn’t about to stop. Maybe one day Lu-Shi would want to learn to cook, but that was a long way off. I’d have to get the bacon out just to make today a little special for her. Everything in my life was going well. The girls came out when they smelled the food and took their places at the table. They were arguing about something silly. I just smiled at their bickering. Families fight and need to in order to get things out in the open. I served up some biscuits and gravy, fresh bacon on the side. The girls had chocolate milk and Kara and I had hot tea. As soon as Kara joined us everything felt right. After breakfast I sent the girls to clean up and started tending my crops. Some were coming in and others had to be planted. I had started planning them out so each day I had something to do. I was even saving up some of the seeds and planting them in test batches. I would have to get a notepad to start tracking what was best at what time of year. All and all my farm was banking gold every day, but a little extra planning would do me some good. The bunnies sold well and the girls loved them. I watched them leave the house, still fighting and head to the bunny building. They loved playing with non-killer rabbits. I laughed and went back to tending my field. About an hour later everything felt off all at once. The birds had stopped, the wind stopped and I looked around. Sirona stood in front of me, a sad look on her face. My heart stopped in my chest as I feared the worst.

“Lu-Shi needs you.” She said as she pointed to the left and into the forest. I dropped my tools and turned, my heart pounding in my chest. Fear ran through me. Has my bad luck caught up to me? It was too good, everything too perfect. I saw a tree standing on the edge of my field just before the woods and despite how quiet the world had become, I could hear crying on the other side. It sounded strange though like it didn’t belong to my little girl. I stopped near the tree and approached slowly. An adult woman was crying and sniffling. I leaned against it and spoke softly.

“You okay?” It was Lu-Shi but she seemed off, her voice was wrong. She turned to me, her eyes filled with tears.

“Edwards, I broke.” She said, but the voice that came out was that of an adult, if not a woman in a later stage of life.

“And?” I asked not really sure what to do. She cried harder and hid her face from me. “Lu-Shi it’s okay.” I said trying to sooth her.

“Edwards. You don’t understand. I broke. I’m not Lu-Shi anymore. I’m (ERROR)” She huffed. “Override admin access.” There was a slight beep. “My name is Samantha Winters and I remember everything. Oh god I remember everything now.” She started crying hard and I sat near her. It had happened. Maybe this was for the best. I thought as I leaned against the trunk of the large tree.

“Can I hold you?” I asked, trying not to cry myself. She looked over, her eyes filled with tears and terror. She moved away, but stopped. I could see the war going on inside her mind and on her face. Finally she moved closer, slowly, but gaining in confidence as she crawled. I held out my arms and she jumped into them. I gave her my best sad dad smile as I wrapped her in my arms. Rocking slowly, I whispered comforting things as I rubbed her back. “It’s going to be okay. You’re fine.” It was mostly things I’d heard other people say to their children and hoped it would work here. She cried and yelled into my chest as I stroked her hair. When she calmed down, she pulled away and looked up at me. Tears stained her cheeks and I wiped one side away. Take my man card now if you like, but my eyes weren’t dry as I held my little girl.

“How is it going to be okay? I was only pretending to be a child. I’m a monster.” She started yelling and trying to fight me, but I held her tightly.

“You are no more a monster then I am, Kiddo.” I’d be lying if I said my eyes didn’t start the water works again. Hell’s gate I was a mess today. I just held her and waited for things to settle. It felt like the only thing I could do. When she calmed down again, I took a breath. “Tell me what happened. You know I can't and won’t judge you.” It seemed like the right thing to say. She wiped her face on my chest and looked up. Going to need a cleaning scroll for the both of us after this. I tried not to smile at my own inward joke. Hey, I crack jokes when I’m sad or upset so shut up.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“I was fighting with the twins and I told them that their opinion didn’t matter because they weren’t real. Edwards I broke and now I know that they aren’t real. None of this is real. What’s real is what happened at the hospital.” I held her and listened as I rubbed her back. She was so small and had been through so much. “They used me. A nurse on the night shift would disable the cameras and use us for a local biker gang and others.” I held her tighter and tried not to let her go. She had been through hell. It was worse than I thought and ever wanted to think. “How can anything be okay?” She asked, pleading in her large green eyes. I gave her a weak smile.

“I wish I knew. I’d like to tell you that everything was going to be okay. Here though...” and I lifted her chin to look into her eyes as she had buried her face in my chest. “You can be anything you like to be. You don’t have to be that woman. You could go back to Lu-Shi or be anyone you want, but you know what?” She looked into my eyes with the question unasked. “No matter what you choose, I will still be your papa and still love you with all my heart.” She held me tightly and cried until the tears ran out. I joined her and may have made a fair number of unmanly sounds. When I felt like I could trust my voice, I spoke again. “I’m here if you want to talk about it. We literally have all the time in the world.” She pushed back to turn her head and rested under my chin.

“I was almost thirty when my lover at the time had gotten hooked on meth. She thought I was stealing her slash and was having a bad episode. I begged her to get off it, pleaded and bargained, but nothing worked. She took a gun and tried to shoot me. I ran and was at the top of the stairs when she shot.” She said in a rush as though not trusting herself to start again if she stopped.

“She hit you?” I asked, worry filling my heart. She laughed sadly before taking a breath.

“No, the bitch missed. I slipped, fell down the stairs and broke my neck. I woke up in a hospital and was stuck there for eight years. Eight years of my life used as a toy and left to rot. Eight years I can never have back and now can’t forget. That place was a living nightmare.” I just rocked back and forth holding her close. Her voice shook, but calmed as she went on. “You see, I’m a monster.” I held her closer trying to show her that I didn’t feel that way and wasn’t giving up on her..

“No, Kiddo. You aren’t a monster. You just had a bit of bad luck.” I said, but my own voice was breaking. Some of my own shadows were coming back. The first year stuck like that was rough. Screaming in my own head, pleading for death, begging for any god to help me. Some of the staff even used me to train the new ones on how to use a feeding tube or catheter. Those days weren’t fun, but I needed to be here for her. She was my life and my reason to fight.

“Steven I’m thirty-eight if not older, I’m almost twice your age. How can you call me kiddo?” She begged and I could hear a sliver of hope in her voice.

“Because I’m Papa.” I tried not to let the tears fill my voice and even managed a laugh somehow.

“Edwards, that makes no sense.” She tried to argue, but I could hear the change in her voice. I pulled back a little to look her in the eyes.

“Do you remember the first time we met? It was in the silly elf movie, the one with the gnome.” I said with a smile.

“That was the happy elf princess and the lost gnome. Movie six. That is one of my favorites, but how can you not see me as a monster. I’ve been pretending to be a child?”

“My point is, that day I made a promise to myself to protect you on that day. Do I ever break a promise?” She shook her head and I could see that she wanted to argue so I pushed forward quickly. “Also, I’ve known for a while that you were an adult deep down and I don’t care.” She looked into my eyes and seemed to demand an answer. “What child has seen They Live?” She just blinked at me puzzled. “I’ve come to kick ass and chew bubblegum.” I said the quote properly. “I’ve seen other signs, but they didn’t matter. What mattered was keeping you happy and healthy, you and your sisters.” I finished by wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

“But papa, Edwards, they aren’t real.” Somehow her calling me papa once more broke my heart. I could feel I was getting through to her.

“They are as real as we are here. We can’t live in our own world. All we have is here.” I said as I smiled at my little elf princess. She just nodded and tucked back into my chest. I kissed the top of her head and started humming the stupid theme song to that happy elf show.

“Papa, how do you know that song?” She asked and I could feel how tired she was. Hell crying takes a crap ton of energy. How do some people do it all day?

“I took the time to learn it just in case you needed cheering up.” I said lifting one side of my mouth into a sad smile. She started crying and laughing at the same time and I joined her.

“You stupid silly man.” She rubbed her face on my chest again and this time blew her nose on my pocket. Yep cleaning scroll once things are back to normal or as normal as they ever could be again. I kept on singing and humming that damn song. “Why did you pick that season?” She asked and I froze, horror filling my heart and face.

“There are other seasons?” I asked, a bit worried. I didn’t want to think about learning those or even watching the show. She laughed and I joined her. Somehow all this was needed. Growth through the pain, like trimming the sapling so it can grow stronger. She looked up at me after a long while and I could see she was ready.

“What do we do now?” She asked. I shrugged, not sure what we were going to do.

“Same as always. Maybe get cleaned up and launch.” She sighed at my words, and went back to laying on top of me.

“I don’t think I can go back to being Lu-Shi.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t even know if I can stay here. It may be too painful trying to stay where I had been hiding from myself.”

“Stay, don't stay. Noodles, don’t noodles. How about you just look at today for what it is, a gift.” She chuckled at my bad impression of a fun old turtle and sighed into my chest.

“You butchered that badly.” I chuckled and just held her tight to let her know everything was okay. We stayed like that for a long moment and I felt like I had my little girl back. She wasn’t going to run away, but might be able to build moving forward. She sat up and looked up at me as asked with her eyes. “Well, let's take the first step.” I said before everything hit the fan again. Suddenly her eyes went blank and she started twitching and moving in a way no one should move. I just held her and screamed. {SCREW THIS SO FREAKING HARD!! NOT NOW!!!} I inwardly screamed. Something was deeply wrong. She had just healed when everything went wrong again. I held her as she twitched and then in the blink of an eye she was gone. One moment I held her and the next I was holding air. I screamed into the frozen sky and faded into black as I was forced to log out.