(Steven Edwards)

The next morning I woke with Lupa laying on my chest. There was a knock at the door and Kara came in. She had an evil smile on her face and I held my breath not sure what was going to happen. She moved to my side, careful not to make a sound. Sliding into the bed, she moved onto my other side. She held me close and kissed my bare chest. I was wearing pants, but lately I was going to bed without a shirt. Lupa hummed and rubbed her head under my chin. “If you two are going to have some fun, the least you could do is wait until I’ve had my coffee.” She said, opening her ice blue eyes. I laughed and kissed her forehead before doing the same for Kara. My good little kitten jumped up quickly giving me a peck on the lips. Both women laughed and Lupa slapped my chest playfully. “Coffee now.” She growled and I laughed as I dislodged myself.

“I have some, give me a little. What do you two want for breakfast?” I asked as I put on a shirt. Kara bounced on the bed in her armor and licked her lips in a way that made my mind go blank.

“Maple bacon.” She said with her own playful growl.

“You do like that.” Lupa said getting up in her normal outfit. She liked her sleeveless hoodie and yoga pants. I wasn't going to complain about it though as she looked very alluring in it. “Steven. I was hoping to talk to you about something.” I turned to my warrior wolf, dreed filling my heart. She looked at the ground and held herself. “I want to explore this world.” She said quickly as she looked up at me.

“Okay.” I said not sure why she was worried about it.

“I know I want to spend time with you, but I want to grow and get stronger.” She said as she looked out the window. “Travis said we will have a teleporting system set up in the next update so I can come back and spend my evenings with you and everyone.” I moved to her and turned her chin to look into those amazingly deep eyes.

“Okay. You are free. I am here for you when you need me. This place is your home too.” I said before leaning down to kiss her. She hummed and wrapped her arms around me to deepen the kiss. Something scratched me and Lupa and we both jumped to see a pouting Kara.

“Maple,” She growled and crossed her arms. “Bacon.” We both laughed and moved to the kitchen where the girls were already waiting for us. I was going to need to expand the house again that way even on nights Lupa was here, Kara wouldn’t have to leave. This would also give her a space of her own. As we ate a large breakfast, Lupa brought up something she wanted to try. No not that, this isn’t that type of book, pervert.

“Steven, Kara.” She said taking a breath before smiling and blushing. “I want to play a game with you and the girls.”

“Would you like to play a game?” I said in my best jigsaw voice. She shuttered and frowned at me.

“I hate those movies. I had an ex who used to force me to watch them.” She said holding herself as she sipped on her coffee. “This is a little weird, but hear me out. I call it farmer and the wolf.” Her tail started to wag and my mind went to some fun places with a name like that. “The kids hide. The wolf walks around singing big bad wolf. If the wolf finds a child, they have to try to catch them. If they can then the child gets tickled and has to sit out until the next match. The farmer walks around singing old McDonald's and if the found child can reach them before the wolf can, the wolf gets tickled and the match is over.” She looked at the ground embarrassed, but I clapped and smiled as I looked at the beaming girls.

“That sounds fun as all hell. I take it you want to be the wolf?” I asked Lupa. She nodded and looked over to see the girls giggling. We played her game and it went as she said. The only real difference is Kara and Lupa would trade who got to be the farmer and wolf. I just watched a few rounds as I played with my crops. The women helped me with my pest quest before they played. It turned out to be a nice relaxing day. Near noon, Lupa pulled me aside.

“Are you sure you are okay with me leaving?” She asked as she held me. My hands were on her middle as I kissed her forehead.

“This is your life too. Just know that I care and you will always have a home here. Given the time, I take it I will see you in two-ish days?” I asked. She nodded and I moved my hand to lift her chin up to brush my lips. “Well, let's make this last kiss count then.” I said moving her lips closer to mine. She moaned as we held each other. When we were both breathless and blushing, she pulled away and walked to town, her hips swaying as her long tail wagged. Yep sexy as hell.

(King Oberon)

King Oberon came into being in his throne room. He was king of the elves and fay and half a dozen other things he didn’t care to think about. He smiled, shaking with excitement at the idea of the coming fights. Right now the heroes would be fighting their way through the world to challenge him and his castle. He lived on the far side of the known world, deep in the dark woods. He danced around his throne room setting everything up, the willow of the wisps were set to wonder to throw off the best blue and green lights around the room. He worked on his grand speeches for when they entered, won and lost. He had everything set. His armor was a shiny green elvish mithril with gold filigree lining the edges. His long white hair was properly combed, his olive skin was flawless. His blade was devilishly sharp and ready. It only took one week to set up. He couldn’t wait for the epic battles that he would enjoy. He sat on his throne and waited… and waited… and waited. He knew it would take time for them to get to him. One month passed and then two. He was starting to get annoyed. Two months wasn’t unreasonable, but still a bit annoying. He started to get worried at four months. Nothing, he sent out spies to see if there were even rumors of the heroes. Nothing, he spoke with the other powers in the world and they didn’t know anything either. Death, the black dragon had gone into a deep sleep that could easily last years, but she left underlings to run things in case she was needed. The Litch and Necromancer, Iniya Graves had opened a viewing portal to the heroes’ world and had gotten hooked on something called “Days of Our Lives”.

He had tried watching stuff from their world and some of his people had enjoyed it, but he couldn’t get into it. It did help pass another month. Now five months is just unacceptable. He sat on his throne brooding, his leg shaking with annoyance. The massive door groaned as it opened and his wife Titania walked in, her steps clapping on the tile like wood of his chamber. She was a thing of pure beauty. Long green hair was done up into a bun exposing a delicate neck. Her olive skin seemed to shine in the low light and her green eyes glowed with the inner power that all high elves had. She wore her dress low showing a delightful bit of flesh. It always drove him crazy and he knew he wasn’t alone. Each step exposed a long well shaped leg and her narrow waist was held by a corset of black raven feathers that he knew could grow into a pair of black wings allowing her to fly around raining spells down on anyone who would dare to attack them. He loved her with every fiber of his being and would gut anyone who would dared to look at her crossly. She smiled in the way that melted his heart as she stood in front of him, placing one perfect hand on her hip and posing. Her face broke into a frown as she spoke with a voice was like sweet summer bells in the night.

“Get out.” He stood there blinking for a moment.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“GET OUT!” she shouted. “Your brooding is driving me crazy. Your aura has caused two of my handmaids to pass out this morning alone and that leg shaking has broken a set of crystal china. Get out and go find something to do or so help me I will drag you out by the ears..” He just looked at her blankly.

“What should I do? What if the heroes show up?” she laughed

“It has been five months. No one is coming. If you care about your HEROES that much, go out and see what has been taking them so long.” He smiled and jumped up snapping his fingers and was suddenly beside her sweeping her into a huge kiss that took her breath away and made her give off a cute giggle.

“Brains and beauty, goddess I lucked out the day I met you.” She slapped his chest as he snapped again and left the castle. Titania looked at the guards around the throne room and pointed to each.

“You go fetch me a mimosa, you fetch my handmaids and tell Estel to remember the ice cream this time, you fetch the thickest shag rug.” the men nodded and she started waving her arms making the wisps fade and lowering the lights. A cold wind started sweeping though the room. She spun in place, her dress being replaced with her cute outfit. Her sexy tight green dress she wore just to entice her husband was replaced with footie pajamas. It was a light pink and the hood had long ears making her almost look like a Beastkin rabbit. The door opened and the rug came in and was laid out in the middle of the room. Giggling female elves came in, all dressed in footie pajamas. The seven women had chosen different animals or styles for each dress. Titania was happy that each maiden had her own personality in their outfits. Each had arms full of pillows and blankets and it wasn’t long until the rug was turned into a huge bed. She waved her arms and the ring around the top of the room lit up and changed into a large rectangle on the edge of the carpet. One of the guards stepped forward.

“My lady, may we stay to watch?” She frowned at the offending guard

“No. what are my rules?” he smiled

“When My Lord is gone My Lady has free run of the viewing portal in the throne room. We may watch on the one in My Ladies room so long as we do not make a mess and behave ourselves.” she smiled and nodded. All the guards cheered and took off saying weird things to each other as they left

“Joke is on you, this isn’t even my final form.”

“Kamehameha.” One of the guards started running, his body nearly bent in half with his arms waving behind him.

“Gomu Gomu no pistol.” They would spend half the time fighting over what to watch. She smiled and shook her head. One of her hand maidens holding a large tub of ice cream asked.

“My Lady, what will we be watching?” Titania smiled and turned to the rectangle and waved her hand

“Tokyo Mew Mew.” all the women cheered and started singing the intro as it played. She joined in singing and swaying with the other women. He would be gone for a few hours and this was a proper ladies night.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Oberon was standing high over the world as he made his way to the nearest town. He stopped and clapped his hands sending out a wave that would tell him if there was any heroes nearby. Nothing. He tried the next town and got the same result. He tried two more times with the same results. Where were they. Finally he was starting to lose his temper. He looked up and cried out.

“Goddess Sirona. I need your help.” She coughed behind him making him jump a little.

“How can I help you Elf King?” She smiled at him.

“Heroes, where are they?” She laughed hard and he had to wait for her to calm down. Once she caught her breath, she stood upright and smiled at him.

“Both are in New Wells and one is a child so off limits.” He just nodded

“I expected more, but even one should have made a name for himself by now. Also why is the hero still there?” She just shrugged and smiled. “Thank you Goddess.” She stood there as he sped away

“This should be entertaining.” He flew across the world to the small sleepy town. It was almost mid day when he arrived and he floated over it and clapped. The wave went out and he found the hero in a small farm near the town. He landed and called out to the lazy hero.

“Where the hell have you been?” a man in the straw hat and plain clothes turned to look at him. He smiled and waved.

“Hi, how can I help you?” Oberon fumed. This was the hero, he was weak.

“I have been waiting for FIVE months. I had everything ready after the first month. Where have you been?” the man shrugged.

“Here on my farm.” Oberon’s eye twitched.

“Why are you on a farm?” he said slowly as though talking to a child.

“Because I’m a farmer.” he said just as slowly a question on his face. Oberon screamed

“A FARMER, A FREAKING FARMER. HOW DO YOU PLAN TO STOP ME? WITH THE POWER OF A RUTABAGA?” he said this pointing at a plant in the ground. The hero just smiled

“That is a purple onion.” Oberon turned impressed

“Really at this time of year impressive.” The hero stood proudly

“Yep got a skill that lets me grow out of season. You seem a bit stressed, would you like a cup of tea? I have Jade with fresh mint. I grew both myself. Oberon started screaming again losing every scrap of self control.

“I WOULD LOVE SOME, BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT HERE!” he took a breath and tried to calm down. “I do have honey that could go with it.” He sat on a log near by and started rubbing his face. “I had everything planned. I had a big speech ready.” the hero sat beside him

“If it makes you feel better, you can say it now.” Oberon shrugged

“It wouldn’t work here. It works better in my castle. I have wasted so much time waiting.” The hero put a hand on Oberon’s shoulder.

“Lupa is working on it. She should be able to fight you in a few more months.”

“Is Lupa another hero?” Oberon looked through his gloved fingers at the farmer hero. He nodded. “What should I do for the next few months? I can’t just sit around and wait.” The hero smiled and clapped Oberon’s shoulder.

“Ever thought about giving the hero thing a try for yourself.” Oberon stood and started screaming again, his eyes wide.

“THAT IS NOT A THING!” he blinked. “That is not a thing.” He could make an avatar and scale it up and down as he wanted to make the fight more even. “How is that a thing?” his jaw dropped as he looked at the smiling hero. “Oh goddess that is a thing.” open laughing came from behind him and he turned to see the goddess standing in the path holding her stomach. She laughed at both of them.

“I had expected Oberon to kill you half a dozen times by now. This I didn’t expect. Well, Oberon would you like to come with me and set things up so we can make sure everything is fair?” He turned to her and shouted.

“NO. HE PROMISED ME JADE TEA WITH MINT!” He pointed at the hero and huffed. “I have honey.” both men went to the porch and a short wile later the elf king was holding a simple cup with steaming tea. He placed a jar of honey on the table between them. He rocked in his rocking chair looking out at the farm and setting sun. Three young girls played with rabbits. “You have a lovely place here. I can see why you don’t leave.”

“That and I have five women who love me.” the elf looked over at him, his eyebrows raised high. “Those three girls are like my daughters.” he pointed at the three little ones. “Also I have two women who love me and I love them with all my heart.” The elf smiled warmly.

“I have a lovely wife at home. She is my world. She is the one who told me to leave the house. I think she knew I needed this.” he held up the tea and waved around the farm.

“If you like the tea that much, I can send some with you.” The elf clapped his hands and smiled.

“Titania would love that.”

“Sounds great. Do you have kids of your own?” Oberon frowned sadly

“No. I want them though. Elves are not known for being prolific breeders.” He blushed and gave a sly smile. “I should try more.” he laughed and took a long sip smacking his lips. “Say after this cup is there some place where we can get something a little stronger?” The hero just smiled and pointed at the town.

“There is a tavern that has a few good things to drink.” A young elf girl came up to them and smiled at Oberon.

“Hello, what is your name?” She was small and cute as a button.

“Hello little one, my name is Oberon. I am king of the elves, fay and half a dozen other things.” he said waving his hand. Her eyes went wide.

“Elf king.” she said giving a cute curtsy and bowed to him. “I am Lu-Shi. I want to be an elf princess.” This made Oberon laugh and rub the top of her head.

“You are halfway there. Elf princesses are cute and strong. You have the cute part down. Work on getting strong.” she cheered and jumped up and down making both men laugh. The man called out.

“Girls we are going to Yanor’s place after supper.” all three got up and lined up. The hero cracked a cleaning scroll over each one and all five went into town. Oberon had expected the town to be run down and heartbroken given the war that had taken so much from everyone. Fresh tiles were on the roofs and the people looked happy and healthy. A blonde centaur saw him and screamed. “Relax Herris this is my friend Oberon.” The hero said with a smile. She just screamed back at them.

“THAT IS THE FREAKING ELF KING. WHY IS HE HERE?” the hero shrugged

“To have a drink at the tavern.” her eyes were wide as she watched them walk through town. The tavern went quiet as they walked in. A beautiful harpy woman just stood there. Her eyes were wide, her hands shook and her jaw dropped. “Hey Maggie, can I get some crab cakes and a nice drink for my new friend?” she jumped and flew to the back. Tina started crying and ran out of the building. “Dude you have to get out more.” he shook his head.

“I’m working on it.” Oberon said with a smile. A red haired older elf flew into the tavern and knelled before him. She refused to look up, but shook with fear.

“Lord Oberon. Yanor Emberwood greets you. You humble this town with your presents.” The hero just gave him a side ways look, a slight smile on his face.

“Woman, I am here to have a drink with my new friend. We are friends right?” The hero clapped him on the back and laughed.

“Dude, you are welcome at my place anytime and if my guess is right, you are going to be a great drinking buddy.” Drinking buddy, Oberon liked the sound of that. Yanor looked up at the hero, a horrified look on her face.

“Lady Emberwood. I hear you have been taking care of these little ones?” she nodded.

“You have done a great job. Can I ask you to look after them so they don’t see two grown men make fools of themselves?” She just nodded “Good now please get up and join us for a meal.” Maggie came out and set a large spread of food on the table and backed away slowly. The girls dug in with out a care and Oberon took a fork and stabbed a chunk of meat covered in herbs and butter. He sniffed it and tried it. “Goddess Maggie, what is this? This is amazing. I have to send my cook over to train under you.” she jumped and smiled.

“Thank you, mmmmy king.” she was still shaking. Everything he tried was amazing and the drinks were wonderful. Elf wine was strong, but bland. He really needed to branch out and this seemed like a wonderful way to start. Once the food was gone, Yanor took the kids and left. An old satyr man came in and the hero waved him over.

“Pop, good we are about to have an epic drinking night. You in?” the old goat man looked with his one eye at Oberon and shrugged.

“I’d kick you in the jewels if you had left me out.” he shook his head and sat at the table.

A few hours later, Kara came in to find Steven drinking with an elf and Pop. Steven looked at the other two. “Okay, okay, okay. Ready?” the other two men just nodded and smiled. “One, two three.” all three started singing.

“There once was a ship that put to sea the name of the ship was a Billy O Tea. The winds blew up, her bow dipped down. Ho blow, my billy” suddenly Oberon swore. As he said belly in place of billy.

“Crap.” the other two started laughing and pointing as the elf took a shot. Kara walked up to them, her hands on her hips. A scowl in place.

“What is this?” Steven looked over at her, his eyes half closed and smiling.

“This? Just a game that Pop knew. We sing and the first one to mess up has to take a shot. Did you know he was a sailor?” his words were slurred and she had to fight a smile.

“Where are the kids?” Oberon smiled at her.

“My good Lady Emberwood has them. She was nice enough to look after them to let us be the fools we are.” Kara frowned at him

“And who is this?” Steven smiled

“This is my drinking buddy, Obi obi-wan kenobi. that’s not right. Obi ron? O’Brien, Hell’s gate this is Ron.” he started laughing.

“My name is Obi ron. No no no no, see now you got me doing it. Oberon.”

“He’s the elf king and king of other stuff.” Pop said slapping the table and smiling.

“Steven? Is that your name hero?” Oberon asked a puzzled look on his face.

“You are my drinking buddy and you don’t even know my name? I’m shocked, shocked, well I’m not that shocked.” all three men started laughing hard. Their faces bright red as they fought for air and to stay upright.

“So Steven, who is this?” Oberon asked. Pop perked up looking at her through his one eye.

“That is Kara, best damn huntress in the village. She is also Steven’s first.” Oberon looked at her impressed.

“My Lady, you got with this guy?” She frowned at him “No offense, but he is a farmer.” Steven made an outraged sound.

“I can do other things too. Also you saw my farm. Its freaking amazing” Kara nodded and looked proud

“Wait, you said first, how many do you have?” Steven proudly held up two fingers. “Nice and that would be the other you spoke of earlier?” Steven nodded and turned green for a moment. Oberon turned to Kara and bowed. “Well My Lady, I hope he gives you lots of kittens to fill that farm.” She went beat red and grabbed Steven’s glass, downing it in one gulp. Her tail went stiff and her ears went back. “Was it something I said?” Steven took the glass back and poured another that was quickly snatched and drained by her again. She was now looking at him and swaying. Her cheeks red and ears out to the side. The door opened and an elf man in full armor walked in looking around. He spotted Oberon and walked up to him. Oberon waved and smiled at the new elf man.

“Look, Steven, it's Legolas the captain of the guard.” the elf with long blonde hair just sighed.

“Sir, my name is Hawthorn. Who the hell even let you watch those movies?” Steven just blinked at them.

“You guys watch our movies?” Oberon just waved his arm wildly

“Yes and my people, including my own beautiful wife, love that crap they call anime. Watching cartoons just feels weird at my age. I don’t get it. Oh Steven helped me find something cool to do. I’m going to be a hero” Hawthorn just blinked

“That is not a thing. Is that a thing?”

“I said the same thing. Well close enough.”He said as he fell into Hawthorn’s arms and the elf shifted his king’s weight into something manageable.

“Come on My Lord. Let’s get you to a healer before My Lady sees you.” Oberon protested.

“Maggie, Maggie. I need to settle my bill first. Also send my cook to see her. Her food is amazing.” the guard sighed and the bird woman who had been hiding unless they called for her popped from behind the counter. Her feathers were all on end with excitement. The elf king held out his hand and Maggie took it, a worried look in her eye. Her eyes went wide when she broke contact.

“My Lord I don’t have enough to make change.” the elf smiled

“Good because I didn’t ask for any.” Steven and pop followed him out cheering him on. Oberon suddenly spun and faced Steven. “Wait, wait, wait. I have to say something here. What was it? Don’t tell me. I will remember.” he slumped against the wall outside and frowned. “Oh yeah.” he struck a proud pose. “You may have, have won this time hero slash heroes, but I” he burped. “I will return next time and be even stronger?” he looked a bit green or that may have just been the light reflecting off his armor. “Mark my woooooshoo.” He had meant to say words, but a stream of vomit came out splashing against the wall and over the street. “Sorry about that.” His guard took his arm and the two turned and vanished. Steven tried not to look at the spot that the elf king had left, but something shiny was in there. He would have to sift through it to get his reward. Cleaning scrolls also cleaned up rewards, bodies and everything. He gulped and tried not to think about what he had to do.