A year passed quicker than I expected.

Yeah, it’s been an entire year since we helped a god destroy our world. I think we picked the lesser evil. But it still fucking sucks to have no internet. Yep, it has been an entire fucking year without phones or anything else we’re used to.

I never thought I would be so bored out of my mind. But even taking a warm bath was a chore. Thankfully, humans now could use elemental magic. A blessing for boiling water. Everything was so new and difficult to adjust. Yet we had to be grateful to be alive.

What was more surprising was that Ozzy was fine in all of this. Somehow, he was more laid back than before. Everyone was. It left me feeling behind. I could not help but feel like I was missing some big part of myself.

It sucked. Even so, I got out of bed every day to help with the daily chores this world brought. We got houses up thanks to the elves, but they made most of them from wood. If not clay.

It was the best we could do. And at least we had a shelter to hide from the storms. They made though most beds from hay and wood. Oh, how I missed my cotton or memory foam ones. They made even the sheets and blankets from fur. Most of our clothes too.

Thankfully, Pa knew how to do them. I guess being from the past was a tremendous asset. He taught everyone who would hear him. And thanks to that, we had clothes to wear. Though they were not as comfortable.

Normal clothes were being made, but that was a slow process. Especially having to collect the animals for it. But we were getting there. The new changes were not easy for everyone. One example of that was the blaze elves.

They were the angriest out of all of us. All their metal masterpieces were gone without a way to get them back. Heck, we did not even know what kinds of metals were in this new realm. And not only that, but most of our historic landmarks were gone.

The god said it would be a blank start. But this was a bit too much for some. Even so, we survived a war against the gods. The least we could do was restart. However, this was a culture shock of sorts, I guess.

One good thing that came from this was that every race was forced to work together, too. It was not only to rebuild, either. This new world had a new beast within it. They were called Celestials. Some were friendly, while others were not so much.

Whenever we tried to expand to places, they would fight us on it. Especially when we tried to settle near their territories. Luckily, no one died in those encounters. Well, yet. At least from where I last heard, news did not travel fast in this realm.

The only way we could communicate was thanks to the witches, who used their familiars. It was like we were sent into the dark ages, along with many complications. Luckily, things like paper were easy to make.

Though the process was slow. I never thought I would have to work on my penmanship, but I wrote letters when I was away from home. After the change, I spent a couple of months with my big brother Alistair, helping him get the crown into place.

I quickly noticed I was not needed. He was a natural leader. And with his love by his side, without a doubt, he would become the best king our race had ever seen. Well, deserving too. To be honest, he kicked me out of the process.

It was not because he thought I was an obstacle. No, he said, I seemed depressed where I was. And that I had to go where I wanted instead of where I was needed. Somehow, he was the first to see-through me.

I had been acting normal, but deep down, I was miserable. Even when he told me to go, I did not know where I wanted to be. It ended with me heading back to my other side of the family. Though, before I left, Gerta turned out to be our grandmother.

That was a shock, but she always felt like one. It seemed the reason she had never told us before was Andrea. The queen was trying to snuff any rumor out. And was a likely danger to her. I always saw her like family, so it changed little on how I felt about her.

But Alistair saw the world in her. She had raised him since he was a small baby. To him, she was his mother, and she turned out to be connected by blood to him. He was happy, and that pleased me in ways I was not aware of.

I found myself wanting to tell everything that happened to someone I was missing. Something was not okay with me. With my brother’s words, I realized the vampires did not have what I needed.

Ozzy was always by my side when we left the new yet-to-be-named nation of vampires. Though of course, she gave us the biggest hug, wishing us a safe trip. Grandpa was fine, too. The God who made this world healed him.

I had never seen him so happy before. With his newfound health, he and grandma were helping Alistair. It was the first time I ever saw Asher smile so openly. There was hope in his eyes for a better world.

Tania charted the new world for what was left of her life. She was never one to stay still. But after the battle, she seemed like a weight was lifted. She named her newly tamed stallion Ben. With it, took a small crew out, one that included Lexi.

The adventures she should have would be for the history books. To be honest, everything was a mess. But I was sure they would figure it out without me. All I knew was that Alistair was right. I could not stick around to see how that would end. It ended with Oz, Zephier, and me back with the Lycans.

The wolves were gathering in this part of the land, trying to establish the once known Silverant. Though, I did not know if they would name it as such anymore. Everyone was still unsure of how to name anything. Well, bickering about it.

Every house in this part of the world was built on wood, too. And there was where I finally passed the year. The whole Silver Fang family lived under one roof, too. It was easier that way; the elves said. Well, easier on them.

Without sigils, nothing was a secret. Something the old ones did not mind, but we younglings did. Thea always bickered with everyone about her privacy. Sadly, in a house with Lycans and a vampire.

Well, there was no such thing as privacy. Though it was nice to see Uncle Caden and Aiden working like a pair. Even though they had been apart for so long. It was like they clicked faster than ever before.

Not everything was harmonious, though. The new baby’s cries kept everyone with super hearing up at night. Poor Aunty Flora tried to soothe the newborn, but a baby will do what it does best. Well, I say newborn, but Hiro was about to be a year old in a month.

That did not stop the little Lycan from shrieking. Amelia and Melody always helped as best as they could, too. Auntie Sophie had her hands full with Jules and Julia. They were brats who barely acted their age.

Though, by their age, I probably was the same. Not everything was perfect, though. Grandma Lily got weaker when she lost her connection to the soul cairn. Though, it probably had to do with how the realm affected her body. Years of strain were lifted, and she was finally free from it.

It seemed to be too much for her body, who had developed accustomed to it. She never was strong in her health, but lately, she had been sicker than ever before. Thankfully, Grandpa Fen always took good care of her.

Even with his missing leg, that did not stop him. All he needed was a stick to get around. I admired the way he took care of his wife. She seemed to light up every time he was around her. Sadly, Lycans usually outlived their human lovers. They were no different.

However, nothing could change the fifty-four years they spent together. I wished it would be more, but only time could tell. On the other hand, Ma and Pa always looked out for each other, too. Though lately, they had been acting weird around me. Jumpy almost. There was no doubt in my mind that they were up to something.

To me, it seemed like everyone’s life had picked up right where they were left. So much that even little Leo got a girlfriend. Who thought he would beat me at finding a girl? She was a witch who helped us survive, too.

Of course, it was no one other than Zoe. She was there with Emma and…

Who was that again?

A sharp ache always rose through me when I tried to concentrate on that. Nothing would come of it usually. And it was always like this, though. Things like that would also happen to Thea and Oswald too. And it happened more often than I would have liked.

Much like the mark that I had on my left pec. A flower… It used to be a connection to a god. Or at least I thought it was. It was hard to recall parts of my life. Especially the few months before the world was renewed.

Why can’t I remember you? You were a trio, weren’t you?

This particular morning, I had helped Zoe set up her flower shop. A soft sigh left my lips. Every time I was near that girl, I felt like something was off. She would sometimes gaze into the void.

When I asked what she was doing, she would always tell me she was trying to remember someone important to her. But it would never come to her. Not even a name. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to sink into the bed.

I also felt like that.

How dare you forget? Eli’s voice echoed within me.

I… didn’t want to. Why do I feel so empty? What’s missing?

I could almost picture them. A blurry image that would never come to be. So close yet so far.

I know… I dream of you. But why can’t I see you? Who are you? Why does my heart warm every time I think of you?

Clasping into my shirt, I felt a burn rise within the mark.

How dare you forget—

“Hey, you’re looking down again.” Oswald broke me out of my train of thought, walking into our room.

The door was wide open after a turn of events left it as such. Pretending I was not utterly startled, I turned to face him.

“Oh, Ozzy, you know I never look down.” I playfully smiled.

Raising his eyebrows, he crossed his arms.

“Really? I never thought I’d see a make-out session turn so awkward, but it happened. I thought you said this was the day.” He laid against the door frame.

Shit… right…

Zephier, who used to be his familiar and now companion, jumped into the bed. She was also a celestial who lived with us, much like Shade and Ruzgard. I used to have one too, but the disappearance of the soul cairn should have merged his soul with mine.

It was the reason I could hear his voice. It seemed it was not a full meld. Something was keeping him from mixing with me fully. Probably what was missing from me kept him from uniting with me.

Thanks to him, I was the only vampire with six wings. My hair had golden tips, too. Though, about a week ago, Eli’s voice got louder than ever before. I had told no one about it. There was no reason to worry them over, nothing they could fix.

“I just didn’t feel like it anymore. Ashe pushed for more and I didn’t want it.” I sighed, remembering the earlier commotion.

This girl shoved her tongue down my throat. I could have let that pass. But what pushed me over the edge was when she grabbed me by the groin. I tried to tell her to stop, but when I did, she tried to pull me down to the bed.

It left me with no choice but to shove her away. Luckily, she was a Lycan, so no injuries. Though my wrist still ached from how hard she held me. I should have known how high libido Lycans were.

“She’s a sweet girl. And I mean, you’ve been dating for three months. It would frustrate anyone with barely any hand-holding. Well, at our age.” Oz pointed out, leaving me annoyed.

He was right. She was a sweet girl who had been patient with me until this point. Her kiss was still present on my lips, but the moment she went for more. I could not give it to her. Something, especially Eli’s voice, shoved me away from it.

“Are you my brother or hers?” I hissed, throwing a pillow at him.

He’ll never understand. How disgusting it felt! I don’t want anyone else’s lips on mine! Eli huffed.

At that moment, it was like time slowed down.

Yes… no one will. Remember already! Eli hissed angrier than before.

I’m trying!

By sticking your tongue into another woman’s mouth. How noble of you. He chided.

It felt like he was right next to me. Even though I could not see him, I felt him inching towards my neck.

Hey, I’m trying! It isn’t like you’re saying anything useful either.

Again, time continued. Catching the pillow, Oz chuckled, placing it on the bed.

“I’m worried about you. Everyone is. We aren’t in danger any longer. That means we can start letting people in. A fuck isn’t marriage.” Ozzy sighed, sitting on the bed with me.

He was not the only one feeling like this. I knew Ma and Pa were worried about me, too. Even though I tried to hide it. I knew I was off. And it was not like he was wrong. We were safe finally.

But I…

No one can replace… Who are you? I know you’re real.

Shivers ran down my spine, leaving me feeling hollow.

“Look, I just don’t want to have sex, okay? Not right now. I don’t even want a fucking relationship. Too much of a hassle.” I huffed, turning my gaze away.

Who… are you? Please, just tell me.

Zephier walked over to me, pawing my hand for pets. Ever since the merge with Eli, she always loved to be with me. Though Oswald was her number one. It made me wonder if she was like us, if she would want to be with him.

Probably would be his perfect match. He kept moving on from one girl to another. None of us were okay. Ever since Emma died, he could not move on. His regret lingered within.

“You haven’t even had a girlfriend since we came back either.” I pointed out, rubbing Zephier’s fluffy ears.

Soft purrs left her.

“Hey, I’ve had plenty of flings. As I said, a fuck isn’t marriage. Sex feels good. And it’s good for you. I mean, it’s not like you’re a virgin. I caught you with…” He stopped, triggering my gaze to fall on him.

He seemed confused, unable to name who he wanted. Again… Yes… something was missing.

“Who again?” he stumbled on his thoughts.

A sharp pain rose in my chest, worse than ever before.

“Stop joking around. I still haven’t found my one.” I huffed, crossing my arms defensively.

Why does it feel like a lie? Everything I do does.

Because it is. I see her under us. Loving us! She made us whole! Eli hissed.

I could almost feel him coiling around my neck. It came with the faint image of a girl I knew. Yet I never met her before.

“No, I’m sure I—” my sweet brother was interrupted, pushed onto the bed.

On top of him, straddling from behind, was Thea.

“Stop bothering him, Oswald.” She growled, getting off him.

I did not even hear her come. Then again, my sense seemed to leave me whenever Eli’s voice was around.

“Oi! When did you become his protector?” he huffed, sitting up, glaring at her.

Tucking her tongue out, she sat next to him. “What? I’ve always been the mature one out of us!”

Silence filled the air, leaving her feeling awkward. Slowly, she shifted her eyes back onto me.

“Anyway! You guys won’t believe what I saw today!” she beamed, leaning against Oz, who was already cranky.

Though he would not dare push her away. No, she would always be our little sister. There I saw a chance to change the topic from me. A break that was greatly needed.

“What? Did your boyfriend finally run for the hills?” I teased, smirking.

Her cheeks turned bright pink. Recently she had been seeing this cute Lycan boy, who was a year older than her. Well, our age. But it was more of a friendship. Though it could have been the start of a relationship.

Only time would tell.

“What?! No! I don’t have one! Why do I even try to be nice to you?!” she growled, eyes twitching.

Oswald chuckled, pushing her away slightly. Zephier seemed to be in a trance thanks to my pets, so much that she seemed to doze off.

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense. What did you see?” I crackled too.

Her reactions were always the best. Well, second to…

Shit… who?

The hole left behind seemed to be filled by none. Some sharp huffs left her lips before she sighed.

“Well, I went into town and saw mom buying baby clothes! Well, from what they had.” she suddenly announced.

All we could do was stare at her, unimpressed by her assessment. She probably was buying some for Hiro.

“Why’s that important?” Oswald shook his head, shrugging.

A frown soon fell on her lips.

“Are you even listening?! When do Mom and Dad ever go buy baby clothes!? I heard Aunty Amelia saying it was not for anyone they know too! Apparently, it’s for a girl who has amnesia.” Thea announced.

Zephier suddenly froze where she was upon hearing that. Nerves radiated from her. Of course, being an empath, I felt them.

“Oh, shit,” she mumbled, triggering all glances to fall on her.

I never thought I would see a cat sweat as much as she did.

“Zephier?” Ozzy called, reaching to her.

Surprisingly, she seemed startled by his approach. Something unusual. She usually swooned at it.

“Hm…? Did I say something?” she asked, trying to deflect us.

I leaned over to her. Shade, Zephier, and Ruzgard always loved to look cute, but I knew their authentic forms were bigger than this. An ability they still held even after being changed. And what was more important was that they were mortals like us now.

They even bled the same color as we did.

“You did,” I answered, triggering her to gaze at me with a blank expression.

At that point, I could almost see panic flush in her eyes.

“Uh… Nope, I said nothing at all. I think I forgot something back in another room.” She muttered, quickly getting up.

“What? We were in the living room when Ashe rushed out. What are you—?” he could not finish that when she jumped off the bed.

“Excuse me! I need to find Shadow… Uh, Shade!” Zephier burst, running out the door before any more questions were thrown at her.

It was not like we could force her to stay, either. Though the speed she used was unnecessary. Poor Ozzy stayed shocked after being rejected by her.

“Okay… that was suspicious.” He seemed dumbfounded by his companion’s reaction.

Thea took the moment to bring us back to the subject at hand.

“See! Everyone’s acting so weird! I asked mom about it, and she blew it off! Dad didn’t even let me start! And he tells me everything! I think they’re hiding something big!” she pointed out, falling into the bed.

A soft sigh left my lips. This was probably something we should not have been digging our noses in.

“It’s probably an important Lycan birth or something like that,” I assured them, feeling odd about the entire thing.

Thea turned to the side before sitting back up.

“The last birth they were excited about was Aunty Flora, who gave birth to the most beautiful boy! But this is different guys! I just know it!” she gushed, loving gossip.

I could smell trouble a mile away.

“They don’t care unless it’s someone close to them. And last time I checked, there aren’t any of us preggers.” She added, gazing to the side.

For some reason, she seemed eager about it.

“Either way, why should we care?” Oswald sighed.

“Because it’s weird! Ruzgard’s going to take them somewhere too! I think they’re leaving tomorrow. And they don’t know if they’ll be back for my birthday!” she continued.

Ah, right, she is turning eighteen. So, this is what this is all about.

“How do you know all of this?” I asked, shaking my head.

Thea gazed towards the side, shrugging. “Well, we don’t have sigils anymore. It’s really easy to hear everything. Even your fail relationships, big brother.”

Her words caused me to feel a snap. It was not like I wanted it to fail. Or perhaps I did. No, I did.

“It failed because I want it to.” I hissed, feeling out of energy.

Why does everyone care about who I go out with?!

She rolled her eyes at me. “Sure, say that to yourself. For such a pretty boy, you have too much baggage.”

“Oi!” I huffed, watching her get up.

There was not a single thing I could say back. That was when I realized she was not doing this because of her birthday. No, she was worried about me. Ashe’s commotion made even Thea come down.

Fuck… I need a grip.

But everything was so hard. I was on the verge of a free fall.

“Anyway, I just thought you should know. For some reason, I felt like it would have been important to you, too.” She sighed, turning back to me.

Her gaze stopped me. I felt anxious.

Be normal, Loki… They’re already worried. Don’t fall.

I tilted my head, gazing at her like she was crazy. “Ah… well, thanks?”

She rolled her eyes at me again. “You know what? I don’t care! And you should have been dumped sooner! Stupid!”

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

Thea stuck her tongue out at me, leaving me dumbfounded.

Why the hell does it feel like it’s my fault she’s angry?

“She must be in her time of the month,” Oz mumbled.

At that moment, I froze, noticing Thea turn back with a death glare towards Oswald. I never thought women could be so scary. Yet, it felt familiar. After she was done shaking and yelling at Ozzy, it left me laughing the night away.

It was just what I needed to. The rest of the night was peaceful. Well, until it came to sleep. I think I only slept four hours before I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart aching. Gasping for air, I saw Zephier watching me from Oswald’s bed.

She seemed worried about me.

Shit…

I had woken up to the same dream. It was one with a girl with beautiful… What was beautiful about her again?

Who are you?

I’m nobody you know. Now go. A distorted voice echoed within me.

If you’re a nobody, then why do I want to know you?

Damn, we’re stupid. She was right. Eli huffed.

It isn’t like you are telling me anything!

Even if I do, we won’t remember! All I know is that she exists! And I won’t allow myself to forget her! He hissed.

“Damn it.” I sighed, grabbing onto my head.

Unable to stay still, I headed downstairs for a drink of water. It had been an entire year since I last drank blood. My magic still depended on it, but I did not see the need for it. Before the world changed, I had to force myself to drink it at least once a week.

Plus, anyone else’s blood was not good enough for me.

Shit again… Who…?

A strong headache rose soon after that thought left me. Sharp groans left my mouth, wincing because of the agony that rose. It felt like my head was about to split. Chugging the cup of water, I placed the empty cup on the table, trying to get a grip.

Elias, I love you. The distorted voice cooed.

I think I love you too. Please… let me...

It almost felt like I could reach for her. However, a noise snapped me out. I turned around to notice Shade staring at me from the corridor. Her eyes’ golden eyes were glowing brightly. Before I could say anything…

What falling for the enemy? The same voice, cocky this time, echoed within me.

A throb pulsed through my body. It took me to that moment when I held her. Everything I felt that moment, the warmth of being in her. Her lips…. Everything. She was mine. No, I wanted to make her mine.

“Deeply,” I mumbled, realizing the world around me was changing.

I could almost picture her fully when I was suddenly snapped away.

“Are you feeling okay?” Shade asked, jumping onto the table.

Startled, I blankly stared at her.

What was that?

My heart was beating faster than it ever had before.

“I think I feel light-headed,” I answered, shaking my head a bit.

Loki! Loki! Her voice echoed.

I could almost picture her under me, screaming for more of me. The sound of water flowed through my senses, but what I felt the most was her warm skin on mine. The way it felt, the way I wanted it. Instinct guided me.

Yes! I see it now! We were the ones who forged it. How could we forget! Remember more! Wait, no! Where is it going?! Don’t leave! Eli hissed.

I could feel his frustrations. He wanted to remember her, too. But every time I came close, everything vanished like a ghost. A sharp pain rose from my chest right where I had the tattoo of a flower.

“Don’t you think you should lie down? You seem pale.” Shade declared, snapping me out again.

Her snow-white fur was just like Zephier’s. Though their tails were different.

“What?” I mumbled, feeling worse than ever before.

At least her voice was louder than what wanted to come out of me. Though, I knew there was something wrong with me. This had been the worst episode I had. Perhaps I was sick.

We aren’t sick! Eli huffed.

“Hm… Zephyrus’s right to be scared. It seems any mention will cause the link to activate. It’s glowing worse than any other time, too. Perhaps it’s because of…” Shade trailed off, pacing a bit.

Her words rung in my ears. Yet I failed to connect the dots. Everything was foreign, yet similar.

“Link?” I mumbled, feeling another throb.

Wincing, I shook my head.

Isn’t that what we forged?! Ask her! Eli hissed.

No! They’ll think I am going crazy!

We are! He snarled angrier.

“Shadow, what are you doing?! I came to you, thinking you would stop this!” Zephier came out of the corner.

She must have followed me down. Yet everything that was happening dumbfounded me. Nothing was making sense anymore. It jumbled everything up and I could not untangle it.

“Stop it? Don’t you see the poor boy’s suffering? I don’t think this is what she wanted.” Shade huffed, walking closer.

Zephier followed her.

“But… knowing will only hurt him! I don’t want him to be miserable, too.” She countered, triggering the other feline to shake her head.

She pointed at me with her paw, with the most disappointing expression a cat could make.

“Oh, look at him. He’s a mess that can’t even get into a stable relationship. This isn’t what she wanted. He’s already miserable.” Shade sighed, shrugging.

I could not help but feel like they were making fun of me. It was not my choice to feel this way. To be this way.

“Oi… I’m trying here!” I snapped, feeling odd.

Why do I have to defend myself?

“Trying? Oh please, you stopped before the real fun began. Why is that?” Shade questioned, jumping on the table.

It felt like I was getting pinned by something.

“Why does everyone care if I fuck or not? Why does that matter to you celestials anyway!?” I snapped.

These two cats were crazy. Shade did not move at my anger, though. Instead, it felt like she was staring at my soul.

“Are you happy, Elias?” she questioned, triggering ripples to travel through me.

She was not the first one to ask me this too. Ma had done so three days ago. Of course, I lied. But ever since the change, I had not been truthful with myself. She had also used my true name, the one who I was before this life.

The being I became when Eli merged with me. Yet, it was not full. I could feel him screaming. No, me screaming inside of me. It was not him or I. It was we and we were in agony. Ever since the change, we…

“It feels like half of my heart’s missing. How the fuck am I supposed to feel happy?! Yet everyone’s acting like everything’s the way is supposed to be. Why should I fuck up their lives?!” I snarled, feeling something snap within me.

All this time, I had been trying to remember what I had lost. Yet everyone reassured me I was not missing a single thing. But I knew I was. I had to be. This feeling could not be normal. Everywhere where I looked, it was like I needed something to be there.

Yet it was not there. No matter how hard I tried to find it.

“She underestimated the link.” Shade sighed, gazing at Zephier.

Link? What link?

Ah! The Amor Aeternum… Yes… Use it! Eli echoed from within.

A second later, my chest burned hotter than ever before. A sharp gasp left me.

Remember! She needs us! Eli continued within.

A second later, it was like nothing happened. Once again, she faded into oblivion.

No! Don’t let that happen! Eli’s voice broke.

I broke.

“But she… won’t remember him. Even if he does, she won’t.” Zephier’s voice trembled.

Who are they talking about?! I need to know!

Yet, it felt like if I said anything. It would lead to nothing.

“Can’t they make new memories? It’s still her. If it was Lily, I wouldn’t have left her! I would have stayed like I am now! Until the end!” Shade huffed, curling her tail.

It seemed they disagreed about something. And it concerned me.

“And what if he doesn’t love this new her? What if he chases who she was instead of who she has become?” Zephier argued, standing her ground.

Shade hissed at her, triggering the smaller cat to take a step back.

“Isn’t that for him to decide? It’s not like she’ll know. It all falls on him. I always thought he deserved the choice! And we took it from him!” She snapped, backing off Zephier.

Remember already! I feel her; I know you do too! All those dreams you have! Remember! Please! I know she’s real! Eli pleaded.

It felt like my head was about to split apart. Sadly, it was going nowhere. Trying to shake it off, I took a deep breath. It seemed their fight was over. And Zephier radiated regret. It was painted all over her face.

“What are you two talking about?” I questioned, releasing a heavy sigh.

Zephier gazed at me, slowly making her way towards me. Her ears were tucked back.

“Big brother… I tried to keep you safe. I’m sorry.” She seemed regretful.

I don’t need protection, Zeph! All I need is her by my side! Eli sounded anger than ever before.

“I don’t need it.” I echoed my inner feelings.

Though, I tried to keep my frustrations inside. I could feel Zephier’s nerves going higher with every second that passed. Any snap from me would cause her to crumble. She gazed down, shaking her little head.

Taking a deep breath, she forced her glance towards me.

“Vi—” she started, only to stop, turning her head to the side.

Luna was standing there with teary eyes. Again, it was like the world did not want me to know. Once again, I had to box everything.

“Loki-chi, why are you here?” Luna mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

In that second, all that came into my mind was to pick her up, which I did. Once in my arms, I hugged her tightly.

“I just came to get water. Did you have a nightmare? I thought you were asleep with Ma and Pa.” I cuddled my baby sister, worried why Ma was not with her.

“I was with Leo-chi when I woke up. I looked for mommy and daddy, but they aren’t in the room anymore.” She huffed, holding me back.

Odd…

“They’re out late looking for a carriage. It’s hard to find one these days. Too many travelers with little resources. So, they were hoping to get one in the early morning before they leave.” Shade informed, wagging her tail back and forward.

“Oh right, they’re leaving tomorrow,” I mumbled, remembering Thea’s gossip.

“Yeah, I think you should go with them. They’re going to the celestial grounds. I feel you’ll find an answer there.” A sudden voice I did not expect to hear erupted.

It almost startled me. I had not even heard his cane.

“Grandpa…” I sighed, shaking my head.

I was losing my edge. Then again, this was common by now.

Celestial territory… Probably they could help me.

“Sorry, I kind of heard the whole thing upstairs. You’re lucky the twins are knocked out from all the work.” He chuckled.

I guess he got worried hearing me come down here. He usually slept late because of Grandma’s medicines. Amara had come by to give her some new ones yesterday. Though nothing was working this time.

“I’m going too! There’s a mystery to solve!” Thea popped from the side.

It seemed most of the world had heard us.

“Oi…” I scowled, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

It was not long before she hugged me tightly, taking Luna out of my hands. I could not help but glance towards grandpa, grumbling under my breath.

“Hey, I said twins, which I meant mine. I said nothing about her. I think your other cousins heard you, but they don’t care as much.” Grandpa informed, shrugging.

Jules and Julia…

“I feel so welcomed.” I sighed, chuckling soon after.

It was like we were oil and water with those two.

“And of course, you can’t leave me behind,” Oswald announced from the second floor.

How long has he been there?!

“Ozzy… I can’t have you shadow me all my life.” I grumbled, sighed.

I was supposed to have super hearing, yet I heard none of them. Then again, my mind was not on the same wavelength.

Leaning against the wooden rail, he sighed. “What are you saying? You wouldn’t survive a day without me. And you know, I’ve been trying to make you feel better. But maybe putting this feeling to rest is best. And you know I won’t leave you alone.”

A soft chuckle left my lips.

Yes, never alone.

It was a promise we made when we first got to Night City.

“Thanks.” I simpered, gazing back at grandpa.

Perhaps he was right about this.

“Do you know when they’re leaving?” I asked, tapping my hands on the table.

“In the early morning.” He answered.

A soft gasp left Luna’s little lips.

“Can I go too?” Luna beamed, getting off Thea, running to me.

“Urg… the sun,” I grumbled.

Soon after, the little girl tackled me. Her loving hug was on my leg. We vampires, even after the change, did not have an affinity with the morning star. Not like Sun elves, who still had their healing magic.

“No baby girl, it’s a long trip. But you’ll be here with Grandma and me. Remember, I need help to take care of her.” Grandpa sighed, getting on his knees.

It was to be at her eye level. And it was easier for the little one to run to him.

“Yes! I’ll help!” Luna giggled, tackling grandpa.

A loving hug ensued soon after. She was always full of energy.

“Ah, yes, the sun. It’s a sacrifice you’ll make, right?” Oswald suddenly asked, teleporting behind me.

Ah… yes, I almost forgot. The god who fucked up the world gave every warlock shadow magic, too. Something Ozzy enjoyed. Though it took him a bit to learn. And unlike before, they had no limits to where they could go.

Well, they had to visit the place before being able to teleport towards it. Something that made humans even more valuable. Whoever that God was seemed to have favored the humans out of the rest of us.

Though it took something away. Their time magics did not exist anymore. Thus the end of eternal witches.

“If it’ll make me better. Yeah.” I rolled my eyes, knowing it would be a drag.

Under the sun, it was like walking a mile in a desert. Or worse.

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you an umbrella. Wait, those are hard to find. Hm… I’ll figure out something.” Oz patted my back.

With a heavy sigh, I realized Eli’s voice had gone silent. It seemed this was what we needed to do. Yet, my heart ached in ways I did not think were possible. That night, I did not sleep. Neither did Oz, who accompanied me throughout it.

Even when I told him I would wake him when Ma and Pa came. He never left me alone. I could not ask for a better brother, even though we messed with each other regularly. Zephier, who obviously knew more than she led on, remained silent the entire time.

She worried for me, and I could not get angry at that. Ma and Pa did not get back until the early morning hours. The moment I heard them; I ran down to see what they were doing. They were packing for what seemed like they would be gone for more than a month.

Pa was the first to hear me since Ma was too busy looking at a list of things.

“Considering we don’t know if it’s a girl or boy. I think we got everything. Didn’t we?” Remi sighed, shaking her head.

The list seemed to have many things crossed out, but from this distance, I could not tell everything that was written in it. Instead of answering her, Pa turned to me.

“Hey kiddo, Isn’t it a bit early for you to be up?” he asked, tapping the table.

Ma startled, placing the list behind her back. Her tail was as stiff as a piece of wood.

“Loki! Oh goodness… You scared me.” She breathed, placing the list in her bag.

Suspicious… why are they hiding this so badly?

“I didn’t mean to. Anyway, where are you all headed so early?” I pushed my question instead of answering theirs.

“Oh, a business trip. Wasn’t that girl… Uh, Ashe with you last night?” Remi avoided mine with hers.

They would not make this easy. Neither would I. But before I could speak, Oswald sped by. He was a man on a mission. And that was looking for his fix. Especially after spending the night with me.

“That ended in a dumpster fire, Ma.” Oz snickered, reaching for a cup.

He wanted to boil water, something easy for him and his new access to elemental magic. Witchcraft no longer needed sacrifices, either. Though most witches still had a grimoire. One that each day would be filled by the plethora of spells in this world.

Sadly, the only fix this warlock could get was tea. Coffee beans were still undiscovered in this realm. At least the green tea was his current caffeine fix. Nature elves were life saviors. Though, humans could also make plants grow. Much like Zoe did.

She lost her time abilities yet gained a wonder. Of course, they needed the seeds to do so. A change from before. I guess our mad god was not happy that elves could grow stuff out of nothing.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You’ll find another, I’m sure.” She smiled.

And it was not like any other smile. It was obvious she was hiding something. Usually, she would none stop trying to get information on any girl I saw. Well, more Ozzy than me.

“So, Ma, what’s this business trip? I thought you were helping Caden, and Aiden rebuilt.” I tried to fish for details.

“Rebuilt?” Ma seemed stumped by that question.

So, the trip has nothing to do with the Lycans. Can it really be a girl in the Celestial forests?

Pa nudged her to the side, triggering her to realign herself.

“Rem, you don’t remember our pickup?” he mumbled, gazing at her.

“Oh right! Yes, rebuilding… Uh… well, we need to go get some materials in another settlement. Much like Alijah says.” Her voice seemed to trip through.

She radiated nerves along with Pa, who hid them better. A soft sigh came from Pa with a subtle shrug. Sadly, they could hide nothing from me. This was probably not going to go well, but I had to try.

A celestial could help me.

“Well, can I come? I feel a bit stuffed here.” I finally dropped the ball, hoping to hide the real reason.

If they knew, surely, they would make a big deal out of it. Something I wanted to avoid. After all, worrying them was the last thing I wanted to do.

Ma’s eyes widened. “What? No, you can’t.”

She shut me down faster than I thought. This would not affect them in the slightest, so I could not help but get triggered.

“Why not?” I huffed.

Irritation was building within me, yet I pushed it down.

How dare they keep me away from my fate! Eli hissed.

“It’s a private business. No children allowed!” she declared, crossing her arms.

If I knew something about her. It was how stubborn she could be. This would not be an easy fight. My eyes twitched, though fighting a hot-headed Lycan like her was not ideal. Even if she was only half one.

“Ma, I’m not a child. I won’t bother you.” I tried to keep civil.

It was the best way to have a conversation. But this was no normal talk. I would not take a no for an answer.

“You just can’t! We’ll take another trip when we come back!” she scolded, like I had done something wrong.

It was triggering me even more. I needed this. Every fiber in my body was telling me to go with them. It was like it was my only chance to find out what was wrong with me.

“No, I want to go in this one!” I snapped, raising my voice.

It was so hard to keep the emotions within. Especially when I knew something was wrong with me. Even though I tried to hide it. I knew they were aware. It was obvious from how they tip-toed around me.

Don’t you dare let them go without us! Eli hissed from within, adding to the annoyance I felt.

“Loki…” Pa resonated with me.

But Ma was always the stubborn one.

“You can’t come with us.” She repeated, grabbing onto her arms.

All of this hurt her, too. She knew I was not okay, and it pained her to see me like this. Yet something compelled her to resist me. If it had been anything else, she would have gladly allowed it.

“Why?” I asked, voice breaking.

I did not want to fight them. But it seemed I had to. Though it was obvious Pa was already beat.

“You just can’t!” she continued, glaring at me this time.

Her frustration and agony also showed. She was doing this out of love, but I did not need it. Not like this. I could make my decisions.

“That isn’t a good enough reason! I’ll follow you if I have to!” I countered, not backing down.

“Rem… maybe—” Pa started, only to be interrupted by Ma.

She was too fired up to hear anything anymore. Lycan’s and their annoying temperament.

I still can’t believe I tried to date one. Utter failure.

“What?! You won’t survive the sun! You barely can handle it!” she growled, trying to pin anything to hold me back.

“I’ll bear it!” I huffed, crossing my arms.

It caused her to pout to the side. “My word is final! You aren’t going! You’ll be fine!”

Of course, I snapped. It felt like everything crumbled right in front of me.

“Fine?” I sighed, triggering her to gaze at me.

I guess my voice was full of hostility. It was a good thing I had not drunk blood, making me harmless. Well, mostly.

“Fine, you say. How the fuck would you know that, Ma?!” I snarled.

It just poured out of me. Pa and Ma gazed at me with a pained expression on their face. All this time, I had been saying I was good. That I needed nothing. All of them were fucking lies!

“I’m not fucking fine! I need fucking help! It’s like I’m going crazy! I try to fucking move on with my life, but I’m stuck!” I scoffed, gripping my chest.

At this point, I did not care if the entire village heard me. I could not hold it in anymore. This was not the life I was meant to have. To wonder and not know… It was excruciating.

Am I losing it? Or am I missing anything?

“I keep hearing Eli’s voice within me! We should have merged when the soul cairn was destroyed, but I can feel him fighting it! He wants me to remember something! I need to know what it is!” I felt my voice break.

Tears were swelling in my eyes. In an instant, I felt like I was in a weird space. There stood a girl with black hair and emerald eyes, gazing at me like I was her world. And even though I did not know her name.

I knew she was mine.

Who are you?

Nobody you know. She simpered.

Liar, you fucking liar! This is the one thing I’ll never forgive you for! You told me to trust you! I promise I’ll find you! Whoever you are! I’ll remember!

Yes! Remember her! Eli’s voice echoed within me.

“Loki…” Remi mumbled my name.

Tears were visible in her eyes, too. She knew…

“There are so many blanks. How the fuck did I even realize I’m this being known as Elias?! How did my hair become like this?! My wings?! The mark on my chest?! I’m going crazy! Please, help me! Mom!” I pleaded, feeling like my reality was breaking.

The truth was on the verge of coming through. In that instance, she bolted towards me, hugging me tightly in her arms. Oz, who sipped on his tea, seemed to have the most pained expression on his face, too.

Pa seemed ready to jump me, too. Though he held himself in place, allowing Mom to have me to herself.

“Fine… You can come. Just please promise me you’ll be okay.” She sobbed.

That was…

“I can’t… promise you that.” I felt like a billion pieces falling onto the floor.

A soft sigh left her lips, but her grip did not let up.

“Okay… Baby boy. I’ll have to accept it. As long as you find what you’re looking for.” She pulled away slightly to wipe my cheeks.

I did not even notice when the tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Thank you, Ma.” I wiped her face too.

It was not long before Pa came over to hug us both. Of course, his hug was more like a bear one, but it was loving either way. I only had a few hours to get ready. Luckily, my anticipation for this outgrew the need I had for anything else.

Packing light was always best, though this trip would be like no other. I was used to having things of comfort. Something I would not have once I went out. Ma and Pa were used to this, but I was not. And neither was Ozzy, who wanted to come with us.

By the time it was time to go, I was one of the first ones out and in the carriage. It was the only way to escape the sun. Of course, Zephier and Thea also join on the trip. Ruzgard was leading the way to where we needed to go.

He and Mom were the only two who remained soul locked. Two separate beings yet could merge. He said nothing about the extra baggage. Little Luna would stay behind with Leo, who would not leave his new girl.

Zoe opened a flower shop recently, and he was trying to help her with it. Grandma was too weak for travels, and Shade refused to leave her. She let it know that when Lily parted this world, she would stay with grandpa until he left it too.

After that, she would go wherever the wind took her. We still did not know how long Celestials lived for, but it surely was longer than elves. Or at least we expected it as such. Leaving Grandma without knowing if we would see her again was sad, but life waited for no one.

When she found out we were leaving, she told us to go. That as long as we lived our lives to the fullest, she was happy. She was far from alone. Amelia and Melody were always with her. Uncle Caden and Aiden were there too.

Although Caden wanted to come with us, he stayed with his wife and newborn. In the battle of the gods, it separated them. He did not want that to happen again. His family was happy to have him back, too. And he was happy to see his kids.

Rem told him that he finally was getting over his sister complex. Yet, it was obvious he was over it long before. He stayed because he knew he was needed. But now that was not the case anymore.

Of course, he said he would visit us if we did not come back. But that would probably be when little Hiro was older. Ma and Pa never said where we were headed or why. Well, not until the third night of traveling. While Ruzgard pulled the carriage, Ma confessed it was a promise they made.

One they did not want to break. I did not ask for more, as it mattered neither way. I would not impede it. Though it took a month for us to get to our destination. The trip itself was torture. I never thought I would miss hay beds, but they were better than the wooden floor of the cart.

Thea, Oz, and I were sore, like there was no tomorrow. Ma ended up calling us spoiled, and we found it hard to argue. Sadly, the fucking sun was the worst for me. Every morning, it felt like it was gawking at me.

Belittling me like I deserved it for some reason. Luckily, the carriage had leather carp to keep me off it for most of the time. Though, I felt its heat and glare whenever I had to go out. And what was worse, we had to eat anything Pa hunted.

Ma and Pa were used to this, but we were not. My stomach was not used to it. Sadly, we could not use Oz’s teleportation unless we had been there before. And while on the trip, we could not teleport around for food.

Ma and Pa would not allow it, as no one could know where we were headed. Not until they knew the conditions of the location, we were headed. Sadly, it was something we had to comply.

The longest I had ever traveled before was a week to get to the new Silverant. Luckily, in between these two, there were villages to rest in. But on this trip, there were none. And the carriage itself was full of supplies. Unless to me, though.

It was female clothes, and baby stuff, mostly. I did not know who they were for, but there was barely any space in it for us. The fun part was that I could not complain about a single thing. Why? Well, Remi would blow without a doubt.

After saying I would bear it. I needed to keep my word. Though there were times I felt like falling dead where I stood. Especially on the days the sun got too much to bear. Nights were a breeze, though.

Not like any of that mattered. On that last day, when Ruzgard announced we were finally there. It felt like time stopped for me. All of my aches were gone. Instead, they were filled with anxiety. So much that I could barely feel anyone else.

We were on the border of celestial territory, too. Though none of them bothered us on our way in. If any travelers usually got too close to their turf.

Well, let’s say they weren’t met with a welcoming party. And it isn’t the pleasant one.

Though, I had to say the forest in this part of our world differed from everywhere else. Things that were thought to be dreams were real there. Crystal-like flowers danced in the wind, without withering.

I saw pixies flying around peacefully, something that was not seen in Astea before. They usually were shy around other beings. But in this forest, they did not mind us. We still had not named this new world, but surely, it deserved a name fitting for its wonders.

Most trees shimmered in different colors each time the wind hit them, too. The grass was greener and fluffier than I had ever seen. Thea and Ma were both amazed by it, too. So much that Ma drew every single thing she saw.

She was always a pretty talented artist. And with the soul cairn gone, she was free to do whatever she desired. It usually was sticking around Dad, and he was never far from her. The way he always looked at her made me smile.

I knew he would always do good by her. Even though I did not complain. Ozzy did. A lot. And most of the time, Mom said he did not have to come most condescendingly. Though he never stayed quiet. He always talked back, saying he had to come.

After all, how would we teleport around? It was not like they took Luna with us. The trip was too long for a small child like her. This was nothing like the ship we used to live in. Though, I had a feeling Luna would have been the best out of us.

Having him around was essential for everyone, but they did not count on him. If they had to spend time away from Luna and Leo to complete their promise, they would. After all, they knew they were safe and happy with their family.

This was not the first time they did this, either. When I was born, they took me and Oz away from everyone, leaving behind part of the family. But with Ozzy here they could go get Luna once we got there.

Then came the day…

“Okay, we should walk the rest of the way,” Ruzgard announced, stopping the carriage.

A soft sigh came from Ozzy’s and Thea’s mouths. At that moment, the sun was out, but I felt like I could run a couple of more miles. With brief hesitation, I got off the cart, anxiously waiting to see what was to come.

And what was to come was a giant hike through the forest. All my excitement flowed out of me as the sun made everything a drag. It seeped my energy and strength away. Every step felt eternal, though it was not long before I noticed a weird white fox gazing at me.

It jumped from tree to tree before falling on Ruzgard, startling the poor hound.

“Ohohoho, naughty aren’t we?” the fox snickered, pawing the hound.

A sharp growl erupted from Ruzgard’s lips. “What are you on now, Kayne?”

The sly fox snickered.

“Oh Gordius, don’t act dumb! You brought the boy! I thought this was forbidden!” Kayne jumped off the big hound.

Another growl left Ruzgard’s lips.

“I just did as I was asked. Not going to bother with stupid needs!” he huffed, rolling his eyes.

Confused as I was by their interaction, their voices quickly were muffled the moment I heard someone singing. No… they were humming. In that instant, my body moved, bolting towards the sound.

“Wait, Elias!” Ruzgard shouted.

He was the first one to notice me, but the rest soon followed.

“Loki!” they yelled.

But there was no stopping me. That voice energized me in ways I never thought possible. Running through the flower field, I almost tripped on a couple of vines. I passed through a hoard of Celestials, who none stood in my way.

Though their gazes suck to me as I passed by. Luckily, I found my footing, running faster than I ever had. The only reason I stopped was because a waterfall stood in my way. Not like it mattered. I could have flown by it, but I did not need to.

Everything I searched for was right by the foot of it. A girl with black hair, with her back faced to me, was using the pool to bathe in. Her melody rang in my ears, triggering me to want to run to her. Though she was completely unaware of me.

Unable to stop, I took a step forward towards her. Hearing the rocks move because of me, she turned to face me. The moment those green orbs of hers landed on me. It was like a pack of Lycans hit me.

Her left breast was the same mark I had. And she was fully nude, though it was like an ocean of memories erupted within me. Everything she was to me became so clear. A bright golden light consumed my senses, liberating me from the state I was in.

Little did I know that everyone in the world who knew her remembered her as she was at that moment. In the distance, I pictured Eli, who was merging with me.

Don’t let her go again. Ever… He whispered, disappearing into the light too.

As soon as it dimmed, I ran to her. She was my world… my reasoning. Everything I was missing, she completed. Of course, I could not live without her. I did not want to. A second later, she was in my arms.

I did not care how I wet my clothes in the water she was in. The warmth that her skin left in mine was otherworldly, too. And it was all I needed at this moment. I did not care what physical changes she had, either. She was the girl who owned my heart. My Vivian, no matter how she looked.

Though parts of her body were pigmented differently. Transparent almost. All that left me was my grief.

“You aren’t a nobody!” I breathed, tears welling up in my eyes.

Never again would I allow her to escape. Sadly, my world would soon be turned upside down.

“Who do you think you are?!” a voice I had never heard snarled, coming from below the water.

Before I knew it, I was upside down. Something big took me by my legs. And much to my surprise, it was a giant, colorful tail. Whatever held me seemed like it was a dragon-like creature. Yet it was not like any I had ever seen.

It had multiple wings, a long slender body to match that reptilian face. Its voice was one of a female and instead of scales, it was feathers that covered her body. Or something like that. They seemed waterproof, too. She had front and back legs, too.

Her eyes were like the rainbow existed within them. Though she was fully hostile towards me. I had not noticed, but the water also changed colors too. Bunnies were around in the distance, too. We had a crowd around us, and it was not my family.

“Wait! Azura, don’t hurt him!” the moment her delicate voice hit my eardrums, I felt like falling to pieces where I was.

It’s really you! Vivian…

“But this disgusting meat—” the beast huffed, swinging me side by side.

At this point, I did not care I was a glorified pinata. All I cared about was to see her standing there.

“Azura!” Vivian pouted, puffing her cheeks.

For a moment, it seemed like the girl tamed the giant reptile, leaving me utterly bewildered. But of course, it would be just like her to have a thing like that around her finger. She had me just like it, too.

“Arg… fine…” Azura rolled her eyes, dropping me right where I was.

Luckily, I caught myself before I fell headfirst into the ground. Though the view I saw when I gazed up almost took my heart out of me. Vivian squatted in front of me, baring it all to me.

The only reason I did not pounce on her was that her next words froze me.

“Who are you?” she asked.

My heart dropped, shattering the moment I realize why she took herself away from me. This girl in front of me did not recall a single thing. No, in her eyes, I was a complete stranger. She no longer was the Vivian I once knew.

And from the way she was unaware of me, it was obvious she had no other interactions other than with celestials. Her eyes shimmered colors at times, too. However, something heavier hit me soon after.

Wait… Wait… Didn’t Ma and Pa come here to help someone who was going to give birth? Oh… it fucking can’t be… She doesn’t seem to be so far along. It just can’t be.

No matter what form she took. It seemed no matter what happened. She would always have me under her fingers, tripping like there was no tomorrow. And right now, I was a lonely deer watching a wolf come get me.

Yet for the first time in a year, I felt like I found the place I belonged. Even if she did not remember me, she was my everything.