Everything was happening so fast that I did not know what was going on. Even the pain was becoming secondary. Yelling erupted around us. Lilith ignored Rem, focusing on healing me. The only reason she was not on us was that Dad stood between her and us.

Loki held me in his arms, completely bewildered too. Around us was everyone that was in the coliseum, but we were not there anymore. No, we were on a ship that seemed to be at the docks of Celnaer. I had only seen them when I was out with Loki.

“Get this fucking shit in the air! Now!” Dad snapped at Rem, who was resisting.

In his voice, there was desperation. There was no time to waste. But Rem did not know what was going on. There was no way she would fly this for us. I knew that much because the anger that flared in her face was something else.

It was all directed towards Lilith. Not that the elf cared. No, in her eyes, she only had me.

“I’m not doing shit. Killing that elf is more alluring.” The hybrid growled, holding her blade towards us.

Dad was not moving, though.

“Oh, for fuck's sakes. If you kill her, the fucking gods will find us in seconds. Now fucking fly before they come and kill us all. We are targets standing still!” Dad snarled.

Lilith laughed, stepping away from me. All eyes fell on her.

“The hybrid might be too stupid to understand, Cain. So, I’ll put it in simpler terms for her. Kill me and the shield surrounding this ship falls. It falls we die. Simple.” The elf chuckled, pointing towards Rem.

All the glares, the hate that came her way, were something out of this world. Yet it did not shake her. I thought Rem loathed me, but the way everyone gazed at Lilith differed completely from me. They despised her. The only reason she was still standing was because of the circumstances.

“Now, be a good pawn and tell your crew to fly. If we don’t move, they’ll find us again with ease. And if they find us. I don’t have to tell you what happens.” The elf scoffed, turning back to me.

In her eyes, there was no fear. She knew they would not touch her while their children were in danger. One would think she was heartless, and she was. But these people took who she loved the most in the world.

Her savior… my mother… To Lilith, all of them could burn.

“Fuck!” Rem snarled, turning towards her crew.

It took seconds for the ship to move when she barked the command. After a bit, my breathing got easier, less painful. However, the damage was still there. I could tell I would not be okay by the look in her eyes.

Lilith continued to heal me, while Loki was too much of a mess to think straight. Though in his defense, he never trained as a medic. He did not know how to construct a new structure. And blood magic, like he said, a little too much would be bad.

This was nothing like when I strained my foot. Tears were visible in his eyes, too. It made me want to assure him I was fine, but I could not. The screaming continued soon after we were in the air. Alijah was not allowing anyone near where I was.

Not even Oswald or Zephier was allowed past him. Eli was trying to comfort me, knowing I felt overwhelmed. Loki pulled me into his arms once Lilith healed all she could. A soft sigh left her lips, knowing it was not enough. I could tell that I would not have my voice again. Unless…

Rem was barraging my father with insults and questions. The other Lilith and Fenris were there too. It seemed Asher had left thanks to one portal the witch could summon. He had to return to the castle to restore order. Zoe was here too.

Father was never the type to leave anyone behind. Well, Emma, but she was not with us anymore. All of us had a bracelet he could track us in an emergency. He was a dedicated head of the coven. This was rooted in his childhood when he was sold into the army.

They always sought the powers of a shadow warlock after in the human nation. But there he was tortured and forced to train. Well, until my mortal mother found him, saving him from that chain. He was barely twenty when she took him away from there.

Though those ten years spent under their military rule had taken their toll. More than he was willing to admit, but because of it, he refused to leave anyone behind. Although cold and heartless, he was a leader to our coven. One everyone looked up, too. And most importantly, he was my precious father.

Though I had not noticed Zoe since she was keeping to the side. She probably felt like a burden in all of this and kept away from Lilith and me. However, the moment the elf went away, she ran to me, presenting the brooch I had thrown in the moment of it all.

With trembling hands, I reached for it. Though Loki was not allowing me out of his embrace. I had never seen him so protective of me, but there was no doubt in my mind he would allow no one else to hurt me. Even if it cost his life something, I had struggled to get back.

Zoe handed it to me before, leaning into my ear, “I did what you asked of us.”

My eyes widened, knowing she could only mean one thing. Instinctively, I gazed over towards Alistair. He was on our side of the ship, standing by a corner, attempting to collect his thoughts. If what Zoe said was real, he was finally free. I had asked the coven to eliminate the queen, and we had both thought the best time was during the tournament.

However, I did not know if it would have been possible. She reported nothing else. I guess she did not want me to worry about it.

So… that’s what you left to do. You’re one scary witch.

The poor eldest prince was probably too scared to even say anything. My father did not allow him to leave. I heard something about my energy being within him. And a god could track us with. So, there was no chance of him leaving this shield while it lasted.

Even though I wished I could go to him, it felt like there was a barrier there. One I could not cross. After all, I had tricked the poor boy. I had no way of knowing if our friendship was still standing. The only one I was sure of was of the one who had me in his arms.

“Don’t antagonize them. We need their ship.” Dad sighed, gazing at Lilith, who approached him from behind.

“Yes, yes, I’ll try to play nice.” She chuckled.

“For her you better.” He scowled, rolling his eyes, turning towards me.

“I will. You know she’s the only thing I have left to care about.” The lavender hair elf assured.

“I don’t care.” He huffed, taking a step towards me.

Their dynamic had always been hostile to one another. They both did not like each other, but circumstances kept them together. However, Lilith had always been good to me. The moment Dad met with my orbs; his eyes glossed.

I was the one thing keeping them together. Even though Lilith had not birthed me, she was the closest thing I had to a mother once Nene died. Though she told me to never call her that. And that was because she was not the best role model out there.

Even so, I knew that even though she was tough. Deep down, she was fragile. And that had to do with her past. One that was not pretty or fair. She had been born to a poor elven family. Yet her healing powers surpassed any healer alive at that time. Because of this, her father sold her off to a wealthy family.

One that used her to conceive a child. Sadly, she was born barren. A birth defect that was unknown back then. Once her husband tired of her, his family sold her off into slavery. She was only sixteen when this occurred. From master to master, she was passed around for one hundred years.

After being used as a tool like I was, it left her hating life. Yet feared ending it. Even though she had nothing to live for, she yearned for a better life. Ones she saw people have from the outside of her prison. And one that she could not get on her own.

Eventually, she ended up in a brothel. There, one of her clients died in the middle of the act. Of course, no one believed her when she said that. The owner of the establishment thought she had murdered him. A wealthy man…

These people knew she was a healer. She was the best within the house, yet she did not lift a finger to save the man who had fucked her. He was a healthy young elf, too. Sadly, this meant they sentenced her to execution.

This was the old way elf dealt with their criminals. Well, the killers. In their eyes, if anyone took a life, they were worth nothing. It was similar to today, too. Though instead of execution, they would put them in prison.

Up to this point, she had lived a life with no meaning. The only thing of value she had was her life. And that was not enough to buy her freedom. A day before the execution, a woman came to the brothel. She had brought a remedy for the owner, who had a sick kid.

In exchange for the kid’s life, the woman asked for the condemned elf’s life. The owner could not reject the offer, telling the woman to take her once night fell. At first, Lilith thought she was another master to serve. But it turned into much more than that.

This woman did not ask her to sleep with anyone. Or expected anything from her. All she did was take her in and give her food. Instead of being chained down and trapped, Lilith found herself free. Yet the damage in her soul was done. She served this woman for thirty years before she offered herself to her cause.

This was something easy for her to do. After all, all she had to do was seduce a wolf. That was where Alijah and her paths first clashed. Edna never asked her to sleep with him, just to bring him into their cause.

Though she could not stop herself from liking the young Lycan boy. She wanted to ruin his naivety, though he was also far from innocent. But it was enough for her to enjoy her job. For a while, Lilith thought she had overcome the trauma of her past.

She enjoyed the life she had. The wolf played to her tune while she owned a clinic. But erasing years of nightmares was a hard thing to do. When she saw herself in power for once, it became intoxicating for her. A part she thought she had moved past, awakened within her.

Around that time, an elderly woman had died in her clinic. At that point, she found death fascinating. Before she knew it, she was killing people for the fun of it. Something about enjoying the view when the lights go out. All while hiding it away from everyone around her.

At first, she killed horrible men, and women who came to her shop. But soon it turned without discrimination. Even children were on the chopping block. She tried to stop many times, but her obsession with power corrupted her.

The feeling it produced was too powerful to let go of. And that was what led to her first downfall. She did not listen to her savior and paid the price.

“Will she speak?” Dad sighed, feeling overwhelmed by what had happened too.

He was late, and he knew it. But it was not like he could have done much else. Shadow warlock portals had limitations. And that included him, too. The bigger the object, the less distance they could go. It was why Jin could not teleport us elsewhere.

Dad had a bigger range, but it did not mean he was not limited. He could not go around the world in seconds. And I did not know where he had been, though Orenz was not with him. Even so, I knew he blamed himself for being late.

“No, she won’t speak again. The bastard destroyed her cords. Not even the vampire can help. His healing is stronger than mine, but he lacks the knowledge.” Lilith sighed, shaking her head.

Though she sounded somewhat uninterested. For me, I could hear the anger in her words. She was not happy with the results. I had spent too much time with her to notice the subtle cues she gave off.

“Fuck!” Dad cursed, clenching his hands into fists.

They both seemed to struggle with the results. Rem and the rest watched the two.

“I’m all for this world crashing and burning, but if she uses her time magic again. The realms might break.” Lilith added, closing her eyes.

Ah… she’s trying to keep her tears in. Such a fool. I’m surrounded by idiots that love me.

The happiest accident that could have happened. However, her words triggered Dad to turn his blue orbs onto her. His golden hair reached his jawline.

“I fucking know that! If we want time, she can’t even stop it.” He snapped at her.

The stress was showing. And they were right. If I used my magic, Yama would find us in a flash. Loki’s grip on me tightened. The look in his eye was close to one of a madman. Elias… would stop at nothing to kill Yama for what he did.

But he had no hope of doing that.

It’s fine. I don’t need my voice.

If only I could tell them that.

How… can I… Shit, my throat still hurts.

“So, she is supposed to stay like this?!” Loki hissed.

His sharp eyes fell on him. There was no pity on them. Especially towards the vampire’s feelings. From all the rumors that had broken out in the world about us, surely he knew we were lovers. Not only that, but the flower on my breast screamed it.

The way he reacted was not because he was dismissing them. No, he felt the same. It was why he understood. He would not doubt my choices. Instead, he would work with them.

“You think I don’t want what’s best for her? She’s my daughter! But if she uses her time magic again. We can all call this fucking world goodbye! She can’t live in a world that’s dead! And both your fates seem to be worse than that.” He huffed.

Loki winced, tightening his grip on me.

By the gods, I was loved too much.

“What does that mean?” Alijah asked, shifting Dad’s gaze towards him.

Taking the opportunity that Dad moved away to face the black Lycan, Alistair stepped towards us. My eyes shifted from the two males towards the eldest prince.

“The flower on my daughter’s chest. I’m sure Loki has it too.” Dad continued, releasing a sigh.

From Edna, he must have known so much more than he ever told me.

“What?” Rem mumbled.

Alistair kneeled in front of me. His eyes were full of discord.

Stupid…

“Wait… She called it Amor Aeternum. She can’t mean.” Rem blurted, gazing towards us.

“It is,” Loki answered, gazing over at her.

His voice was so shaky that I could not help but sink into him more. The more I felt, the safer I felt.

“Vivian… I am so sorry.” Alistair apologized.

Yes… everyone is a fool.

I slightly shook my head, only to wince in pain. Him asking for forgiveness was not what I wanted. Eli nudged my cheek to comfort me. Loki gazed away from the adults, noticing my discomfort.

It seemed all the healing had not sealed all the damage. Loki’s hand traced where it hurt, only for his hand to glow red. It eased the pain a bit. A soft sigh left his lips before he gazed over at his brother.

“Don’t apologize, you idiot. You’re making her annoyed.” My prince huffed.

Wait, I’m not annoyed! You stupid prince!

A soft glance came from me towards Loki, triggering him gently to smile. I guess my expression said everything I wanted to say to him. My eyes quickly shifted towards Alistair, who winced, shaking his head.

“I… did so many terrible things. To Lucas, to Gerta, to you…” he trailed off, clenching his hands on his vest.

Fuck this. I may not speak, but I can…

Pulling away from Loki, I hugged Ali tightly. My sudden action caused the older prince to fall, sitting on the floor. He did not know what to do with me. Soft inaudible noises were all that left me.

Once again, I was without a voice. Yet this time, I had my hands, legs, and expressions. A soft smile rose on my lips, softly petting the older brother’s hair. It was silky smooth, and his skin was so warm that I was glad how everything had turned out.

After all, it could have been much worse.

It’s okay. You’re worth it.

Were the words I wanted to say, but nothing would come out. Grabbing me by the back of my dress, Loki pulled me back into his arms.

“Oi, don’t go hugging other men. Even if they aren’t into you.” My vampire huffed, gazing at Ali.

“How clueless can you be? You weren’t yourself. So… don’t feel bad. Vivi saved you because she likes you. And she saved me because she loves me. A simple transaction for her.” He smiled at his troubled brother.

“I took your heart. I killed you! That can’t…” Alistair trailed off.

Loki shook his head in disbelief.

“I’m still here, aren’t I? So, who did you kill exactly?” My prince assured the troubled boy, who shook his head.

For a moment, he seemed lost in words, but it was not long before he shook his head and smiled at us. Those soft eyes… Lucas would forgive him. And Gerta loved him like he was her child. Speaking of the old woman, I had not seen her since chaos broke. She had not been in the spectators. Or perhaps she was.

Had she left with the queen? Was she safe?

I could not help but glance at Zoe, who tilted her head, not knowing what I wanted.

Ah… so these are the moments a voice is important.

If only I could speak… Sadly, someone else could.

“Are you all blind?! That thing isn’t capable of love.” Rem scoffed, crossing her arms.

Part of me wanted to argue with her, but my voice denied me. Alijah grabbed her shoulder, though. His eyes seemed tender towards her, yet it seemed the same thing troubled him, too.

“Rem…” he called out to his beloved.

His tone was one of worry.

“Alijah, she can’t! If I see her as anything other than a monster, I…” Rem shook her head, taking a step away from us.

Her wolf followed her, though.

“Love, there are other things to worry about right now. Don’t focus on the wrong one.” Alijah tried to keep her on track.

He was not the only one, though. Thea rushed past Caden, who was holding the other kids behind him. It was like he was guarding the cabin where the rest of the crew was, too.

“Mom, Dad’s right! We need to work together. That monster was terrifying. His aura was out of this world!” Thea argued, too.

Rem could not help but glare at Caden, who gazed away from her. Her parents were by his side too, observing everything. Leo, Lola, and Luna were all missing. Probably inside the cabin.

“Fuck! I…” she gripped her arms.

Our history went so deep that I could not help but feel sorry for her. Yet, it pleased me. Seeing her suffer over the fact she had to protect me allured me. Us getting along would never happen, but temporary allies could work.

Well, for a while. There was too much poison in our lives to mend it. Or at least I thought.

“Let’s behave for now. After we deal with the gods. We’ll figure out where we go from there.” Alijah simpered, triggering Rem to shake her head again.

Her purple orbs shifted back to me. They were troubled. Yet there was no other way.

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“Remi, it’ll be okay,” Oswald assured, having escaped Caden too.

Not even the hybrid could stop him from coming over towards us. There was no more preventing this. Thea watched the warlock come towards us before huffing up a bit.

“Maybe I can help somehow!” Thea declared, running behind Oswald before they both kneeled next to me.

Oswald was next to Loki, while Thea was next to Alistair, who was teary-eyed about the whole thing. I wanted to give him another hug, but Loki was not letting me go. A small banter broke out between the siblings before Thea hugged Alistair for me.

“She caused that?” Rem mumbled, utterly defeated by her family.

I did not know at the time what she meant. But I had healed a gap created by the prophecy that claimed my vampire’s life. This was never my intention, yet I could not have been happier. Seeing Alistair accepted by his other family was more meaningful than I ever thought.

Of course, this was the beginning of the mending they had to go through. But it was a good start if the world was not ending. And it would not have been possible if I had not been around.

“Fuck, you’re all bewitched by her.” She sighed, glancing away for a moment.

All the strength was slowly slipping from her. That much was obvious. Her family was her greatest weakness and strength.

“Wow, that’s a sight I did not think would ever happen,” Caden added, triggering her to scowl at him.

“You too?!” she shook her head.

It almost seemed like she had a headache with everything that was happening.

“Well, I got to know her a bit. She was distant, and now I know why.” Caden chuckled, enjoying the union of foes and friends.

Of course, though, this was only temporary. The relationship between them and my family was not an amendable one. Lilith killed two of theirs, while they had killed one of ours. One of them was by accident, while the elf killed Loki’s father because he pissed her off.

Even so, Rem seemed utterly defeated.

“Arg! Fine!” she huffed, turning towards her brother and parents.

A soft sigh left her lips. “Caden, take Mom and Dad back home. And take your family too. This is too dangerous for you.”

Ah… she’s sending the mortals away.

For a moment, the human Lilith gazed at her husband, who nodded.

“We aren’t going anywhere.” She announced, stepping forward.

Her greyish brown hair flowed in the air. The feline familiar held her position on her shoulder. This woman was full of confidence. But it did not start for her this way. She was abused and broken in the past. And it was by her blood.

A family could either unite or poison the waters. Well, until she became the Gate to the soul cairn. But that story was for her to tell.

“You’ll need every help you can get.” Fenris declared, following his wife.

Rem seemed distressed by the new development.

“No! Dad, you can’t fight like that! And Silverant needs you!” she pointed out in disbelief.

That was true. The Lycan had a mechanical leg, thanks to the elven Lilith, too. It had happened during the accident of that day. When Orenz’s energy met with Alijah’s making, it surged out of control.

It usually happened when two great chaos energies clashed.

“I can’t, but I’m an excellent strategist. And if anything, I’m a magnificent piece of meat that can distract.” He seemed set in his mindset.

This family was full of fools. Idiots… willing to sacrifice for one another.

“You can’t!” Rem shook her head, tears visible in her eyes.

Lilith stood forward with her daughter.

“Your Dad’s right.” She assured.

“No! Go back home now!” for once the hybrid seemed small.

Vulnerable.

I had been having fun until this point. She really did not differ from anyone else. It hurt a bit to see her like that.

“This is all sweet and all, but it doesn’t matter. We are in a race against time now. No matter what noble your intentions.” Dad commented from the side.

It triggered Rem to glare at him.

“Shut up! Before I stick my sword through your heart.” She snapped, though it was an empty threat.

The stress was showing. Everything was too much.

“Kill me, and the elf will be without a handler. Your choice hybrid.” Dad shook his head.

His words caused the elven Lilith to pout.

“Fuck!” Rem cursed, gazing away.

Alijah tried to comfort her as her parents tried to reassure her everything would work out. That was a lie, though. How things were going, our end was slowly approaching. It was a matter of time, much like my father had said.

“Cain, it isn’t nice to refer me like that.” Lilith huffed, crossing her arms.

Dad glared at her, “You don’t deserve nice.”

When I was a kid, I understood little how they were acting. However, the older I got, the more I noticed we were fractured, too. The only thing that kept my dad and Lilith together was me. Our dynamic differed greatly from Rem and her family.

And the only reason we were alive, not trying to kill each other, was that there was a bigger threat out there. My throat still felt sore, something that Thea tried to ease with her aura. Red-eye Lycans could share their power. And at times, help with healing and pain.

However, the bickering among the adults caused her to stop. Her aura grew bigger with every insult being thrown. Before I knew it, she turned to them, stomping her feet down.

“By the gods! Do you all have to be so childish?!” Thea howled, scowling at all the adults.

All eyes fell on her.

“We need to get along! Let’s get a fucking grip before that thing comes to find us! How do we fight it?! Isn’t that where we should focus?!” she snapped at them.

Rem flinched before gazing down to the floor. It seemed her daughter had a better grip on the situation. Yet again she did not have the unyielding hate between us.

“Well, that’s easier said than done, mutt.” Lilith started.

Dad followed, stepping between the young female Lycan and the elf. “We have no clue. But Edna might. She was the last priestess for the gods. In her grimoire, there may be a hint.”

Shaking her head, Rem finally gave in. “That thing is sealed.”

The book had been in her grip, but my mortal mother had sealed it with my magic. The only one who could...

“Yes, the only one who can open it is Vivian. But…” Dad trailed off, gazing at me.

His eyes were tender.

“The moment she does, Yama will find us.” Alijah sighed.

“So, we are fucking stuck.” Rem concluded, rolling her eyes.

Much to my surprise, the human Lilith walked past her daughter and towards me. Dad watched her closely, unsure if to let her through. These two also had a history. Though at that time, she had been victorious.

My eyes widened when she extended her hand to me. However, what left her mouth was even more...

“Thank you for saving my grandsons. Including the one we’ve alienated for too long.” She smiled, glancing at Alistair.

The poor boy seemed stiff. Yet what surprised me the most was that no one would ever think whispers of the dead gods tormented this woman. Though, she surely had… I slowly reached for her hand, before feeling her tender skin clasp on mine. It was too warm.

Ah… what is this?

“Come, let’s get you and my protective grandsons inside. It must have been painful to endure all of that on your own.” She pulled me up to my feet with Loki’s help.

My legs were a bit jiggly.

How… How does she know?! Ah… that’s right, she’s the same as me. Viewed as a monster because of what she became, yet she overcame it. Can I?

“Mom?” Rem mumbled.

Lilith gazed at my hand before shaking her head slightly.

“Rem, she’s a girl. One with feelings and a beating heart. The warmth of her hands is just like yours.” She smiled, leaving me wide open.

Her words caused me to narrow my eyes.

What’s your angle, witch? There is always one.

I could not help but get defensive. Something she noticed right away. However, she did not let go of my hand. Loki’s hold on my hips was the only thing that kept me from pulling away from her.

Eli gently rested on the back of my neck, with his tail dropping to my dress. There was still blood on it. Thankfully, the rose tea had made my blood smell like anyone else’s. Well, somewhat. Not that Alistair wanted it in the first place, but the smell or my untouched blood could have been tempting to any vampire.

“I can see my younger self in you, yet I know we aren’t the same. You want to live, don’t you? You want to survive at all costs. I lacked that in my youth. But I see it so clearly in your eyes.” She continued, trailing her thumb on my palm.

I could not say a thing to her, though her actions and words were making me nervous. It almost felt like I was watching a mirror of another life I could have had. If I had allowed people to define me. Though she also broke from that.

But she was wrong. I was nothing like her. There wasn’t a thing I would apologize for. Nor would I grovel at my enemies. I would go down fighting, no matter the cost. Well… until recently. Now… I wondered if I could pay that cost.

“Part god or not, you’re strong.” She stopped for a moment.

Her blue orbs were tender, and there was no hint of hate towards me. Though her familiar was eyeing me down. Though it was with curiosity. A life with that wolf had made this woman into someone else.

She was nothing like my Lilith. And that was not a bad thing.

“Stronger than I was.” A soft mumble left her lips.

“Mom, she…” Rem trailed off, not able to finish that sentence.

Lilith shook her head. “Even though I had always thought of you as an enemy. Seeing what you did for my family changes everything.”

A slight pause followed before she shook her head, “No… seeing how much my grandkids care for you changes everything. I can’t deny them that.”

For a moment, I felt my heart become lighter with every word she said.

“Hold your head high no matter who you face. It took me years to learn that. But unlike me, you have the eyes of a fighter. One that can bear it all alone. I can tell. But you don’t have to anymore. Lean on those who care about you. There you will find the strength for everything.” She added, with a soft smile on her lips.

The eldest prince seemed to take her words in, too. For the first time, he was with his other family. One not connected by blood, but by a father. He was their step-grandson.

“You told me not to bear it all alone. And you are right. I want to know more about you, Vivian. So… let’s survive this together, okay?” Alistair spoke, grabbing onto my other hand.

What’s happening?

This was one moment of having no voice actually worked for me. I could not say a thing to ruin this moment. Though, even if I had my voice. I would have been speechless.

“Mom’s stubborn, but she’ll turn around! Dad and I will make sure of it! Probably mostly me though.” Thea sighed, joining in.

Her eyes rolled, gazing at her father, who tilted his head a bit at her.

“Dad is annoying when he doesn’t set Mom right! So, you have me to depend on,” Thea huffed, placing her hands on her hips.

What the… when did I…

These mortals were… killing me. I felt my eyes gloss, turning to Loki, who simpered at me.

“It’s okay. I promise I’ll be more careful. And I won’t leave you alone ever again.” My prince hugged me tightly.

His voice seemed broken, though. Even though, unlike him, I could not feel emotions, I knew he was still affected by what Yama had done to me. His hands trembled a bit.

By the gods, I somehow dug my way into his heart.

And I did not know how it happened. He said he found me interesting from the start, but part of me wondered if it was when I kissed him by the fountain. That was when I… realized…

“Well, we have been together in this since birth. So, why stop now?” Oswald shrugged, smiling.

Zephier giggled from his shoulder. It seemed everything reached a tipping point. Rem had a choice to make. By her was her husband, brother, and father. Lowering her head, she shook herself before walking over to me. Well, stomping almost.

I let go of Lilith to turn to face her daughter. Her eyes were still full of distrust; however, she had her hand extended to me. An impossible union was about to be made. Though temporary, of course. There was no way we would be fine after this was over.

“Call for a truce until all of this is over!” She declared, shocking me.

Dad snickered, walking towards the side with the elven Lilith in hand. There was no way he would allow her to fuck this up. I gaze at her extended hand, unable to bring myself to meet with it. In response, her eyes twitched, taking my hand in hers.

They were warmer than I ever thought they would be. Up close, she did not seem as scary either.

Fenrir… is this really him?

“Truce.” She sighed, glancing at my hand.

A wince came from her, too.

“They are tinier than mine.” She mumbled, letting go.

Ah… What the fuck just happened?

My mind could not keep up with the events.

“For now, we should rest up for today,” Caden announced, walking towards the cabins.

By the door, there was a human woman there waiting for him. She had brown hair, and beautiful green eyes. They were less vibrant than mine. She was heavily pregnant, too. Probably was due soon.

Shit… Is that his wife? What a time for chaos to break loose.

“Let’s go find a comfy room, with a warm shower for you, dear.” Rem’s mother suddenly announced from behind me.

She grabbed onto my hand before slowly leading me into the unknown.

“I have to call Aiden to let him know everything that’s going on.” Fenris declared, taking out a phone from his pocket, walking towards the side.

His wife nodded before taking me away from there. Though I suspected the adults would talk more about what was happening. It was not long before they were behind me. Loki, of course, followed me, while Oswald explained to Rem and Alijah everything he could.

Especially Elias’s new look was the theme Rem wanted to know most about. They had stopped asking while everything was going on, but now it was a good time as any. Leading me to a room, Lilith took out a comfy pajama, before handing it to me.

“These are Rem’s, but they’ll fit you fine. She has always had a petite body. For underwear, hm…” she hummed, tilting her head while going through drawers.

That was when I realized we were in Rem’s and Alijah’s room. It was cleaner than I expected it to be. Though Ruzgard, her familiar handed down by her sister, was nowhere to be found. Yet again, I had heard they could merge.

Concentrating on what was happening in front of me, I felt like none of this was needed. Yet my voice failed me. I shook my head, only to flinch because of it. The sudden movement caused me to ache a bit.

This is annoying. If only I could rewind the clock. I would not have to suffer like this.

But if I did, it would be the end for us all. I guess a noise came from me, causing her to turn to me. Loki grabbed onto my hand, worried I had hurt myself.

“Hey, are you okay?” my loving vampire asked.

I gazed away softly, shaking my head. A wary smile rose on his lips. Lilith took out a pack of underwear. It seemed to be sealed.

“Ah, these are new ones. Though they might be big on you.” She tried to reassure me that everything was fine.

But that was not what was wrong. All of this was too much for me to handle. I expected to always be seen as an enemy. The thought of being allies never crossed my mind. Although I knew it had to happen if the living gods ever came down.

“It’s okay, Grandma, I’ll take it from here.” Loki grabbed the clothes from her hands.

Now that I could not speak, I was getting too much kindness being thrown my way. But that was probably because I could say nothing to anger them. Loki was right. My body was more honest than my words.

Yet those were louder. And rougher. Upon hearing those words, she chuckled, triggering Shade to snicker too. I swore a smile rose on those feline lips of hers.

“Oh, I am sure you will. Here,” Lilith handed a box to the young vampire.

One that caused his cheeks to go redder than I had ever seen them go.

“Grandma!!” Loki blurted out, heart racing.

I could almost feel it, since he held me close to his chest. That was when I notice it was a box of…

“Protection is always best.” She teased, knowing full well that he was a young, healthy male.

One full of desires. Well, we both were. It seemed both of his grandmothers had the same idea.

Gerta… Please be well.

For a moment, he was speechless. Shade, Lilith’s familiar, on the other hand, snickered at him.

“Can’t have any runts running around in this mess! Behave, little vampire.” She followed her summoner.

For a moment, it seemed their comments broke him. I could only shift my eyes towards the side.

All of this is unnecessary…

“Oi!” my vampire finally erupted.

Though Lilith waved her hand before heading out of the room. From all the stories I had heard and from how my Lilith was, it was like she was another being. Though something about them both felt similar.

Perhaps the elf would have been like that too. If life had treated her any better.

“Let’s go,” Loki mumbled, following Lilith out.

She was waiting by a room before leaving to join the others. I guess this was the room we would use for the time being. Once inside, Loki closed the door, heading to the bathroom each cabin had. He had lived on this ship when he was younger.

So, he knew how everything worked and where everything was. Though he stopped by the open door before gazing at me. In his eyes, there was sorrow.

“I am so sorry for being careless. I thought I had it. This is all my fault.” His voice broke.

My feet moved faster than I could think. Before I knew it, the vampire was in my arms. The pain I felt was nothing compared to when I saw his heart in Alistair’s hand.

Stupid, foolish vampire. This isn’t your fault. It’s mine for being an idiot and not telling you what I thought. I should have trusted you! Yet… At the same time, I feel like I’m okay with this.

Any little time I had with him was precious. And now, I had a bit more. I gazed up, only to meet with his lips. It was not long until a passionate make-out followed. Our tongues tangled before he tumbled backward.

Of course, I fell with him too. It seemed I had pushed him to trip with the step that lead into the bathroom.

“Are you okay? Does anything hurt?” Loki worried.

I could not help but scowl at him. He did not need to treat me like I was withering. I did not have a voice, but I was still me. In response, I kissed him again. This time, I pushed my tongue into his mouth. A soft moan came from him because of it.

Pulling away from his lips, a string of saliva connected us. However, instead of following it up with another kiss, I smothered myself on his vest. I wanted to listen to his heart. The way it pounded in his chest calmed me.

Noticing what I wanted, Loki undid his vest, allowing me to smother myself into his shirt. The warmth, the sounds… Everything about him made me realize he was still here with me. However, I saw his hands tremble from the corner of my eyes. And when he caressed my hair, it couldn’t have trembled more.

Glancing at him, I could see how troubled he was by everything. Even Eli seemed depressed by it all. He had not moved away from my neck ever since we were safe. Not even to hide from the rain that fell on us before we moved.

How… can I show you it isn’t your fault, Elias?

Grabbing onto his hand, I turned it around to his palm.

Must be fun that I can’t insult you for being stupid.

I tried to lighten the mood, but all it did was increase the pain in his eyes. Somehow, it felt like he was suffering more than me.

“What? No! I want to hear you barrage me. Insult me… Do everything you want to me. Just don’t leave me.” His voice was shaking.

He was… hurt. I heard it before in his scream. It broke him to see Yama injure me. Yet I… I was glad he focused on me. Because he would not kill me. Not like he would have done with Thea, Rem, Alijah, or anyone else who was not connected to me.

But that was not something he would have agreed with. Yama could have been crueler with me, too. Took my voice, yet he left me with the ability to walk and feel things with my palms. These were all things tools did not need.

Yama was playing with us. I could only guess it was to see how we would react.

Elias, you’re the one most in danger here.

The things Yama would do to him were worrying me. The moment he turned to Loki; I felt my heart stop.

You said my body was more honest.

I traced, triggering his eyes to gloss.

“I was wrong. They both are meaningful to me.” He winced, glancing away from me.

Huffing, I tugged on his shirt for him to take it off. Something he did without a second thought. The flower was shining again. It ripped all the magic I had stored there out when Alistair killed him. But our connection would always be there.

Pressing my hands on his left pec, I glanced up to his eyes, before tracing something on it.

Did it hurt?

I traced, triggering his eyes to squint a bit.

“No, everything went black before I even noticed what was going on.” He answered.

It was an obvious lie. The way he avoided my gaze told me all I needed to know.

The rewind didn’t make it hurt twice, right?

When I traced that he shifted his gaze back onto me.

“You didn’t hurt me.” He reassured, pressing his lips on my cheek.

Trailing kisses down my cheek, he stopped the moment he pressed them on my neck. Shifting away from it, his gaze once again was on the floor. And here I was rather enjoying his touch. It soothed every ache my body had.

But to him, it was a reminder of what he saw. It was so vivid in his mind, making him hesitant to touch me. Even though I wanted him, I understood why he was being like this. Yama only had me for a few moments, and most of it felt like a blur to me.

Yet the icy touch of his skin still lingered on me, too.

“If I knew more about anatomy, I might heal you, but I don’t know. I am not a medic. And I feel so fucking helpless.” He seemed to put everything on his shoulders.

Much like the time he ran to save everyone from those demons.

Such a fool…

He was only eighteen. There was no way he would know how to do such a complex procedure, let alone spell. To even achieve something like that, he would have needed years of practice. To be a medic, it took them years of studies.

And most books were in elven language. Touching his cheek, I made sure he was gazing at me before using his palm again.

This isn’t permanent.

“I know… But… it hurts to see you like this.” His eyes seemed so lost.

He probably never thought something like this could happen.

I’m sorry.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You saved me and that got you here. So, it’s my fault.” Loki seemed on the verge of crying.

This was a sight I never wanted to see. I clasped my hands on his cheeks, forcing him to gaze at me. Grabbing onto his phone, I singled him to open it, before typing on it.

I’m not hurt beyond the line of no return. I would do it all over again. Even if Yama took my arms and legs too.

Lilith was right. I was strong. Well, for some things. These did not affect me as much as anything that involved the vampire in front of me.

“Don’t say that!” his hands trailed down my arms.

That would have been a nightmare. Yet I still would have endured it.

But he didn’t. And I still can embrace you because of it.

My voice… although important, was not what I needed to express myself. I still had my facial movements. My hands to show how I felt to those I cared about.

Edna… I want to smile with you.

A memory flowed through me.

Ah… all I wanted a body for was to do this… with her. And now… with you… all of you who had made my life the way it is.

Before I knew it, my lips were on his. Opening his mouth to allow me in, he moaned when I pushed my soft member into his. Our tongues tangoed when I shifted onto his lap. Eli slipped under my dress, lifting it, allowing Loki to cup my breast in his hands.

The warmth that radiated into me because of him was surreal. I wanted more. When Yama had me, I felt terrified but in Loki’s embrace. I felt alive. Nothing but death would keep me away from this vampire. Not even Rem.

I wanted every action I did to scream how much I loved him. When I pulled away for air, Loki simpered.

“I love you so much.” My vampire’s voice trembled a bit.

Licking my lips, I could not help but smile at his confession. Eli dipped his tail into my underwear, tugging it off, allowing my vampire to trace his fingers on my vulva. Pressing my body on his chest, I nibbled on his ear.

A gasp soon left me when his fingers invaded my depths. In return, a soft sigh left his lips, pulling away from me. For a moment, I sat there, confused about why he retreated. Every ounce of my body was tingling for him.

Eli stuck by me while his other half turned on the water. Once it was to taste, Loki turned to me slightly.

“Come, let’s shower. Your skin is freezing compared to your…” He avoided my gaze.

I had not noticed how I was shivering. However, this was unfair. Slowly, I stood up from where I was before running, hugging him from behind. I could not help but cling to him.

“Oi, don’t get me wrong. I want to make love to you, but only when we are both comfortable.” He huffed, noticing my nerves.

Such a cheat. I wish I had that too.

Though when I gazed up at him, his cheeks were pink. I could not help but feel like giggling at him. Though I did not know how that would have sounded, so I suppressed the urge. Instead, I focused on something I had missed. There was a tent on his pants.

However, the moment I grabbed onto it, he sighed again.

“Shower first, Vivi… Then we should find something to eat.” My vampire sighed, clasping my hand.

I scowled at him. Though he was having none of it. Me getting sick was not on his to-do list. If there was one. In a pout, I took off my dress and bra. Yama had exposed me back in the stadium. I had not thought of it before, but now that everything had passed. Embarrassment filled my senses.

How can I face anyone after that?

“Hm… What are you thinking about?” Loki hummed, grabbing onto my hips.

Turning to him, I noticed he was also naked. His cheeks were slightly pink, though annoyance was also present in his eyes. Once again, he had noticed what I felt. This was unfair, yet I could not get angry.

Grabbing onto his hand, I pulled it up towards my cheek before resting on it. His warmth was unmatched. Caressing my cheek, a soft simpered came from his lips.

“I love you.” He professed again.

Instinctively, I reached to touch his cheeks. He leaned into my touch, leaving me smiling. No sounds would leave me, though. Well, other than normal bodily ones, like loud breaths. However, I mouthed him something in return when his eyes were gazing at me.

I love you too.

I did it slowly so he could read my lips. In response, he kissed me, leaving me feeling flustered. Without my voice, I could hear his soft groans and moans whenever he kissed me. A new experience I would have never paid attention to if I had my voice.

It always leaked at times like this. Picking me up, he placed me inside the shower without stopping the kiss. Eli turned into a seat for me again. I did not even realize when he got behind me. This was not like the bath back at the palace.

Pulling away from my lips, Eli held me where I was. He was mostly white and gold now. The moment I felt the warm water hit my skin, I flinched, before gazing at Loki, who held the head. On his other hand, he had a bottle of body soap.

“Did I scare you?”

I shook my head, causing him to simper.

“Good.”

A soft chuckle should have been what left me, but nothing did. It caused me to grab onto my throat. Loki narrowed his eyes, shaking his head a bit.

“Even if this isn’t permanent. If this was our life, I wouldn’t care. I would still love you. I mean… I fell for you when you were a book, did I not?” Loki assured, kissing my forehead.

Weirdo…

Unable to help it, I pulled myself off Eli and onto my vampire. I would not take no for an answer anymore. This morning he had attacked me without a worry. But now that someone mildly hurt me, he would hold off?

Such an idiotic fool.

Now, I mouthed when he gazed at me.

Pushing myself on his skin, he sighed, glancing at me with slightly pink cheeks. Using the soap he had in his hands, I lathered my hands before stroking his heat with my soapy limbs. This time, instead of pulling away, he allowed me to do as I pleased.

Though the moment I went to kneel, he grabbed onto me.

“You can’t do that.” He huffed, triggering my eyes to shift towards his face.

There I saw his glowing eyes. He… I pulled away, clasping my hands on my chest.

Geez… have some self-control, Vivian.

I probably seemed like some sex deviant. Though, much to my surprise, he grabbed onto my cheeks, pulling my gaze towards his blue purplish orbs.

“You can’t do that. No matter how much I want to shove myself in that pretty little mouth of yours.” He frowned a bit.

Again, his eyes glowed once again. I thought I had filled them with irritation at my insistence, but he was holding himself back. I probably would have sent a few insults his way, but instead of doing that, I allowed myself to be led.

It was not long before we were out of the shower. Sitting on the bed, I allowed myself to fall on it. Eli was quick to slither into my arms. Once again, he stuck close to my neck, softly nodding it at times with his head.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath before releasing it. Though it was not long until the bed sunk under my vampire’s weight. I thought he would have gone to get food for us. So, I hesitated to reach for him, but it was not long before he moved.

Much to my surprise, he laid his head on my bosom. For the first time, he did not smell like the usual vanilla and cinnamon. No, he had a more flowery smell, one I was not used to. Though it was still him.

“Let me lay here for a little while, okay?” he mumbled.

The tone of his voice caused me to feel a sting in my eyes. Part of me wondered if Yama would let me live a peaceful life with Elias. Though that was quickly put to bed. The moment Yama was done with me, he would kill me and Elias. Then sealed our souls away, and that was no life to live.

Slowly, I reached for my vampire’s damp hair. It was not long before I twirled it in my hands. Not that he minded it. This was no sex, no pleasure, yet I felt pleased. Having him in my arms was enough. No, it was more than enough after the day we had.

Though… part of me wished he would claim me as his, too. But I would not push him. That was the last thing I wanted.