Arras felt such a profound sense of joy that he thought he could just melt right there, on the spot.

"Could you say that again?"

"We'll be leaving for my fathers estate by tomorrow?"

"...Just one more time?"

It had been, sooooo, SOOOO, LONG. Well, to be more accurate, it had been like three days, but good LORD it felt so long. Nobody would leave him alone, he kept getting asked to come do stuff, and it wasn't like he could just say "no" at this point, because that would completely invalidate the effort that he had already put into being publicly presentable. And Arras REALLY didn't want to say that his sitting through absolute rage had been for nothing.

Though, he had resolutely refused to let Illia leave his side again. Presentability be damned, he was NOT going to suffer through the exact same thing multiple times. There was only so much that Arras could take before exploding things, and there was nowhere that wasn't the fortress to explode right now. So really, it was for their sakes just as much as it was for Arras's own.

That was also a convenient excuse to spend as much time with her as he could possibly manage, because Arras very suddenly found himself wanting to teach Illia how to magic. He wanted her to learn everything that he could do, he wanted her to be capable of defending herself, to be good at the magic that she COULD be good at. The things she'd told him, had actually started to sound even worse the more he thought on them.

Like, would his own parents have seen him do flame magic, think, "hmmm. No. You're not allowed to be good at that." and tell him to stop it??? No! No they wouldn't! Cause he had an actual family... Had... That had been the end of his thoughts revolving around his family for a little while. But yeah, he thought Illia's family members were primarily sacks of shit. And now? He found himself wanting to make up for that.

So, even if it wasn't at Arras's breakneck learning speed, he toughed it out and helped Illia learn. Speaking of learning, she'd learned to stop protesting by the end of the first day of practice. Mostly when it had become exceedingly clear that things would not be changing. Arras wasn't very surprised when she basically didn't care. No, that was wrong, when she was happy.

So yeah, that was a pretty good counterbalance to the rage inducing praise he got day in and out. He got a rare case of the warm and fuzzies whenever he was helping as well, so that was a nice side bonus. That only really happened when something of much greater importance was happening, so for him to feel good like that on a more regular basis was pretty nice. Definitely served to counterbalance the anger he was otherwise feeling.

But, regardless! He could FINALLY leave all of this in the dust! Never to return! Well, not the practicing with Illia thing, or Eric... And also Amakazi he supposed. But, literally everything else!

"Oh please, it surely couldn't have been that awful." Eric dryly remarked as Arras asked for confirmation for the fourth time.

"It. Was." Arras shuddered and leaned against Illia. Whom lightly patted him with one of her wings.

"Yeah, take it from me?" Illia started and grabbed his attention. "From the person helping Arras out with senses magic? It was really that awful. He is literally built to hate having attention on him. And you know he didn't really feel like a 'hero' with what he's done."

"I don't quite get that, I know you're both young, but really? We did all accomplish rather impressive feats, and we've assisted our Kingdom to the utmost. There's little reason to be upset."

"Yeah, and I'm upset anyways. Hundreds died for just about no reason. It's just... Such a waste." Arras grumbled.

"And more would have died had you chosen not to go along with what you were told. The war itself was rather asinine, but you did the best you could in your situation. This self blame is simply absurd."

"It doesn't change how pointless it was."

"Correct. But, you have a way to proceed, do you not?"

"...I guess."

"Cheer up Arras, come on, why don't we do some practice? You always seem a little happier doing that, and we can finally get going soon! So, let's not dwell on it, alright?"

"Did... Did you just... You, you asked ME, to practice?"

"...Maybe?"

"...Progress."

...

Finally, finally, FINALLY, they could leave. Apparently, most of the nobles had already left in the morning, but that didn't much matter to Arras. He didn't know any of them personally besides the two that he would be travelling with. If anything, he was just jealous that they'd gotten to leave faster than Arras himself. They had to trek through the desert again, something something, carriages not being properly built for the sandy terrain and its difficulties, but he didn't care about that! Carriages suck anyways!

So, as soon as they were up, and had eaten, Arras was almost a jittering mess. He wanted out. He wanted out very, very badly. The only other time he had so much energy to use was... Never. This was the most energetic about something that Arras had ever felt. Sure, he'd felt more strongly about... Certain things, but, in terms of actual physical energy? The current moment was unmatched.

"Jeeze, you'd think you're about to meet your idol or something Arras. Are you really that excited to le-"

"Y e s ."

"...Well, okay then!" Illia promptly shut up. She wasn't exactly sure as to what else she expected. She knew Arras hated this place.

Without so much as another word, the gate was opened, and Arras was running. The wind literally behind him as he ran constant temperature control.

"...You know we're still going with Eric and Amakazi, right?"

"...Oh."

"Pff-you're lucky they aren't in this link, jeeze Arras! You could try not to sound so gutted about it?"

"Yeah, yeah..." He grumbled and slowly, veeeeery slowly, began to slow his pace.

It still took a few more minutes for the other two to catch up.

"In a bit of a hurry, hm?" Amakazi asked in a teasing voice

And, Arras really didn't care about it.

"Yes."

"Well, good to hear you have your priorities straight, I suppose."

"It'll likely be a few hours, the carriage isn't particularly far, but it's a bit of a trip on foot." Eric noted matter of factly.

"Well, is it going to be a problem if we move quickly?" Arras asked in less of a "please?" tone and more of a "I'm going to leave you in the dust if you say no." kind of way.

"...No, not at all. In fact, it may be an issue for you." Eric responded rather calmly for somebody who had just been pseudo-threatened. Both he and Amakazi shared a look.

"I doubt that-"

And then they took off running. They took off running, REALLY, fast.

"...Oh yeah, physical strengthening." Illia mumbled to nobody in particular.

"Well, I'm not complaining." He leaned forward, and started running as well. They wouldn't leave him behind entirely, they didn't even know wind magic... Right? Right.

...

Oh god... Why were his lungs trying to strangle him? Arras knew that he'd never run for that long before, but what the hell? He was made of tougher stuff than thi-

With a very odd sounding hacking and wheezing, Arras struggled to take in a proper breath as Both Eric and Amakazi stood over him having barely broken a sweat.

"Look at that! Made it in a little longer than an hour. You weren't wrong Arras, it really wasn't a problem for you!"

That was practically dripping with sarcasm. Arras's usual response would've been to drag them into the link and fire right back, but as he raised an arm in outrage, his tails drooped in exhaustion, and his entire body a moment later.

A slow whine was all that escaped him as he hit the ground.

"...Don't be too hard on him, you know how much he was struggling." Illia raised her best defenses as she pulled them into the link on Arras's behalf."

"Yes, yes. Well, our carriage awaits. Do try to get up within the next five or so minutes." Eric crouched down and lightly patted Arras on the back, then turned around and made his way to the carriage. Amakazi having already gone ahead.

"Mmmmmmmghhhhh..."

...

There was, obviously, a spot in the carriage for Arras. He was worried at first, but a thought occurred. If Illia was helping him, would he be alright? Senses magic would be able to assist, wouldn't it? In so far, it had been quite helpful.

No.

No it couldn't. Well, it technically was a natural part of him that did it, but it certainly wasn't his hyper active instincts that ruined carriage rides for him. Even as he felt the soothing presence of Illia's magic take hold, it was in fact not able to soothe his stomach. He thought he was fine at first, the first few minutes of the ride had been perfectly fine. Much like the last few times he'd been in a carriage. It was after that initial period, that things had started getting bad. He just thought that wouldn't happen this time around with the extra assistance.

Spoiler alert, it happened. It was more gradual at first, he'd been trying anything to take his mind off of the possibility of feeling it, talking with his friends, distracting himself... So when he initially had started feeling it, he really hoped that it was just a slight issue, something that would naturally come and go. And that wasn't that it was. It gradually got worse... And worse... Until both he and Illia could no longer ignore it. Arras more so.

"Excuse me, would it be a problem if-" he paused as he steadied himself "if I walked along with the carriage for awhile?"

"...No, likely not, why do you ask?" Eric slightly raised an eyebrow.

"I..."

"He uh, gets a little nauseous in carriages." Illia explained for him when he found it rather difficult to do so, given another pulse of discomfort rocked through him when he tried to get the words out.

"Ah, I see. If you can keep up, do feel free to get some air. Nobody else is on this road, it's not like you need to worry about upholding an image amongst friends."

Illia eyed him with an inscrutable look. But rose to her feet. "Okay, you might want to use your metamorphosis spell though Arras. Might be a little difficult to keep up otherwise."

"Okay." He agreed with no hesitation and activated the spell. He had been just lying down in his normal form on the seats beforehand, which might've not been the best idea if he wanted to not get nauseous, but the end result likely wouldn't have changed either way. A contortion later, and he was sitting up and looking rather green. Illia fluttered up to his shoulder, and without another moment to waste he opened the door and, gently, jumped out.

"Why is that so awful?"

"Just you Arras." Illia noted bemusedly.

"Clearly." He grumbled right back. After an awkward silence, or well, as silent as one of their links could get, Arras turned his focus to something more familiar. He quickly took in his surroundings, and while trees had in fact became more commonplace, a WELCOME sight, they weren't plentiful. Very few were around, not nearly enough to risk being an active hazard...

"Well, I finally have the opportunity to actually practice with my flame magic, so..."

"Well... Maybe don't do that in the middle of a public... Actually, you know what? Go for it. Not like anybody else is nearby."

"Alright, follow along with me."

"...Huh?"

"You can use flame magic."

"Well-yeah, but not as well as you can, whatever practice you're doing I'm not gonna be able to follow al-"

"Illia. I distinctly recall you being able to use large quantities of flame magic at once, even if you can't exactly do much else with it. You'll be able to keep up just fine."

"...You sure?"

"Completely certain."

"If you say so..."

"Now, copy me as best you can."

A moments focus later, and Arras held in his hands a stream of flame. Well, not IN his hands, obviously, but hovering just out of reach of them. Illia followed along, conjuring a similar bolt of flame directly in front of her beak.

"Okay, this isn't that b-"

it got bigger. The quantity of flame in Arras's grasp began to expand. Twice its size, thrice its size, it kept growing. As it increased in size, it drifted further and further away from him, until eventually it was a veritable wall of flame. A good few meters away from him.

"..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

That definitely wasn't "nothing", but she wasn't genuinely upset or anything. Rising to the challenge of something that she was able to do was certainly something that Illia... Well, she enjoyed it, but Arras's expectations were always high. It added a level of pressure to the process of learning that she wasn't sure if she enjoyed or not. Well, she certainly enjoyed it more than the ones that she had known beforehand... But she wasn't sure if she'd consider it a net positive, or a net negative yet. She hadn't exactly failed those expectations yet, so she wouldn't be able to say if Arras would be upset or not, but she definitely didn't like the idea of failing them. So, she gave her best.

The fire she held steady began to grow, and grow. One, ginormous bolt of flame to rival Arras's own. It got more and more difficult the more magic she held in one area, she lost more, took more to continue producing results, even unfurled a wing to hold to the flames in an attempt to cast more easily, but she did it. At the cost of about a fifth of her entire pool of magic, Illia had a bolt the same size as Arras's to show for it.

"Good. Focus on moving the spell with as little magical loss as possible. Follow after me."

"...Okay."

Arras's own flame began to move, weaving patterns into the air around it. His tails gently twitching in annoyance as he waved his arms around. His tails were, by far, the superior casting implement, but that was exactly why he wasn't using them. If he could do what he aimed to do with less assistance, than he could do it even better with the proper tools. Or, in this case, just choosing to not hold back. Shortly afterwards, Illia's flame too, began to move.

Though, apparently, Illia didn't share in his sentiment of holding back, given she was gently waving her wings around as she squinted at Arras's and hers display of magic, but he couldn't much fault her. He didn't exactly know how much magic Illia had, she'd never shown him her aura. But, he figured it was probably less than the amount he himself commanded given he was supposedly better than anybody else his age.

He started to smile a little as he continued walking along with the carriage. This was nice. He didn't have much else to describe the situation with. It was just... Nice. This was what he had been longing for the past few days. He almost wanted to drop his metamorphosis spell right there and then to curl up against Illia as they continued to practice, but he did have to keep up with the carriage.

Curiously, he felt a few sources of magic a long ways away with his currently more active perception of magic. But, they dispersed fairly quickly. Likely just whatever animals that inhabited these lands looking around to get an idea of what the commotion was... But, he did have to wonder what sort of animal travelled .around in groups of a dozen or so... Well, it didn't much matter. They'd left.

...

Eventually, the foliage had gotten denser. More trees, more bushes, enough to warrant the stopping of the pairs practice of flame magic. Arras was disappointed, Illia was relieved. The former having gone through maybe a twentieth of their total magic, the latter having used over half of it. Arras had been hoping to be downed of at least a fifth of his reserves before he stopped... But, well, Illia's control wasn't as precise as his was. He might not start an accidental fire, but Illia might. he'd like to have faith in her, but it was just an objective fact that she was worse than him.

...That didn't mean he was done practicing though, no! Arras had force magic to work with! And by extension, so did Illia.

No breaks.

She would be exhausted by the end of it, and Arras wouldn't even be magically winded.

"I'm so getting a headache..."

Admittedly, his legs had started to get a little sore a few hours into the trip, but it was still better than being INSIDE of the carriage. It certainly didn't help that he'd already been worn down with his... Charitably referred to as, "jog" which had occurred earlier. But, he could bare with it as long as he didn't have to keep running or anything. It just made it more difficult to focus, which in turn, made for better practice. Focusing on a task while he was otherwise debilitated, was... Probably good for something. Maybe not, direct casting ability, but if he ever happened to be delirious in the middle of a battle, or something.

It might not have been the best idea to wear himself down like this, before whatever he needed to do today when he reached this "Ephimarus Estate". But, Arras was mostly certain that he'd be fine. He was just having the time of his life right now, and he would continue to do so. Practicing his magic with a competent companion who could at least somewhat keep up, and getting the satisfaction of seeing both himself and Illia improve. Well, he figured Illia was improving. He didn't really have any way to directly quantify that besides paying attention to how much magic she was using for spells similar to his own. And... He'd say she was? Sort of. Probably, almost most definitely.

It definitely felt like there was a difference in the amount of magic she was using, it changed over time. But, that could also just be because she had less to work with as time went on. It probably wasn't that though, given she was still producing spells of a consistent caliber.

...And, there it was. After a long while, Illia finally started to flag. A force barrier, shattered. Not visibly of course, but Arras could sense the dispersion.

"That's enough. Just rest for a while. Working yourself dry of magic... Probably wouldn't help. I don't know, I haven't actually tried that before..." Arras's train of thought wandered to the idea, but he quickly snapped his focus back onto the point. "But, it probably wouldn't help. I doubt you can get much done without the magic to support it."

"If... You say so..." She mumbled as her eyes slowly closed. Arras went along and helped the process as he lightly scratched at her crown.

...So, he could start actually practicing now, right? He hadn't wanted to do anything that Illia wouldn't reasonably be able to copy to scale... But he DID want to use at least half of his total magic...

Hm, well, not much of a better time to work with earth magic, I suppose... Flattening out the road we're on, maybe? Yeah, that sounds like good practice.

...

Eventually, the trees once again began to thin. Arras would've picked right back up on his flame magic, but unfortunately, it would seem they had arrived. Well, not unfortunately to be honest. His legs were starting to lock up a smidgen. It was about time for them to take a break. This new town, city... Whatever it was, seemed to be more of a middle ground. It was certainly... Denser, when compared to the Pennsworth estate, but it was also much smaller than the cities that Arras had been in so far.

There were also no walls, but as far as Arras knew, that just meant that it didn't have anything to defend itself from. So, not much of an issue. He breathed a sigh of relief as the tree line thinned more and more. He certainly hadn't been worried about being attacked, given that there were at least three other humans outside with him, and what he also thought to be an elf and a beastkin? Something like that. He hadn't attempted to get any of their attention, and they seemed more than happy to give him space for some reason, so until now they had gone mostly unmentioned in his mind, but they had been there. What he was relieved about, was the fact that there wasn't much distance left to go.

Turns out, manipulating literal stretches of land at a time was a little more difficult than Arras had thought it would be. On top of being physically tired, he was also now starting to get rather mentally tired as well. With... Perhaps, being generous, a fourth of his total magic left, he was struggling to see straight... Just a little. He also stumbled over himself a few times, but he never outright collapsed either. His own sense of balance wasn't THAT subdued.

"...Illia."

She was still asleep, perched on his shoulder with a surprisingly light grip. A strong breeze would probably be enough to knock her over... Good thing Arras had been managing that as well!

...Yeah he was starting to get a headache. Not a thing he often got.

They sucked.

It had been a little less than two hours since Illia had fallen asleep, and a little less than two hours had been how long she'd been practicing. It turned out that the Ephimarus Estate wasn't actually that far from the desert. Well, not that far as in like, multiple hours of travel, but still. It had been a longer trip from the Pennsworth Estate to reach the desert, than it had been to reach the Ephimarus Estate from the desert.

"Illia."

He lightly tapped his fingers against her talons.

No response.

"Illia, we're here."

Still no response. They were literally almost in the town... Welp, time to pull out the proverbial big spells.

He picked her up. He hadn't done it before now, but he always figured that he'd be able to do it. She was like, a tenth of his current size, so... Yeah, he picked her up. Gently reached under her wing, cupped her in his hand, and pulled her off of his shoulder.

"Pfwafa-what the!?"

Well, she was up.

"Let go of me!" She flapped her wings in immense distress, but couldn't really generate any force.

"Okay, my bad."

"W-wait wha?" And he dropped her. She squawked out loud in panic as she felt herself go into free fall, but quickly regained her senses when she hit the ground unharmed a moment later.

"What the hell Arras!?"

"...What? You said to let go of you."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Look-I'm not used to waking up with hands all over me!"

"So... You didn't want me to let go of you?"

"Well, no I did, but not like that! Why did you even do that!?"

"...You weren't waking up."

"Why does that even matter...! ...Oh."

"Yeah, we're here."

"...You couldn't have just woken me up by, oh I don't know, shaking me a little bit?"

"...Would you have preferred that to just being picked up???" Arras asked incredulously. He himself, would much rather waking up in familiar hands instead of being thrashed around. "Would it have even worked? You slept through everything else I was doing."

"I'm just upset okay?" She grumbled as she, once again, fluttered back up to Arras's shoulder. "We're being left behind, go."

"My bad."

"No! Don't wanna hear it, drop it! I'm fine, you're fine, keep moving."

"Okay."

Arguing with Illia was a fruitless venture. Certainly one not worth braving over something as mundane as this.

...

The town was mostly the same as the only other one that Arras knew to be honest. It had some interesting sights, had a bunch of homes, some interesting places... But, he could definitely point out similarities basically wherever he looked if he gave it an actual attempt. So, really, not much else was of note.

Everybody had gotten off the carriage by now, and it was a thing of the past. Very much something that Arras could find himself happy with. Now, he followed after Eric, who was, himself, preceded by two of the guards from the carriage. Arras didn't really get why they had to do that, colonial nothings or whatever. It really didn't make much sense to him, but ever since earlier Illia had been a little flustered and wasn't currently being her usual helpful self when it came to this trivia.

Anyways, it wasn't too much more of a trek to the manor off in the distance. Which, Arras was rather grateful for. His legs were just about ready to finally give out on him after a little over four and a half hours of moving at a quick pace, and his light headedness was certainly not an assisting factor in that equation. So, after another fifteen or so minutes, he finally found himself at the gates.

Another few minutes later, some greetings exchanged amongst Eric, Amakazi, and those present, mercifully independent of Arras's influence, and they were inside the manor. It was shockingly similar to the interior of Pennsworth's manor. At least, as far as the stairs went. Who knew, maybe the rest of the place was way different in comparison.

"Amakazi, if you would be so kind?" Eric nonchalantly asked as he turned around and faced towards those aforementioned stairs.

"Yes, yes. You heard him, come along now." She motioned for Arras to follow her as she made her way past the stairs while Eric went up them.

He was so tired, that before asking "why" he actually just outright complied, and started following after her. He wasn't quite brain dead yet though, so after it registered to him that Eric was going up, and he was going forwards, he asked about it.

"...Why aren't we following him?"

"Because, isn't it obvious?"

"..."

"Oh fine! Dear Eri needs to speak with his father, why wouldn't he? It's practically a given that he'd inform the Lord of his spoils."

Given that she was actively choosing to not communicate via mind magic, Arras wasn't actually sure what exactly that "of his spoils" bit meant. Though, his headache made it sort of difficult to really care about little things like that at the moment. So, he just didn't.

"And why does that mean we need to split up?"

"Must you ask so many questions?"

"Please stop." Illia reluctantly spoke up.

She sighed, and then shrugged. "Very well. I'll give you the layman's summary. Erickson went to war to secure his position as successor, he returned and now must meet with his father. You, are not the Lord's blood, so you would do well to stray clear of such discussions. Understand?"

"...I think so."

"Good! Now, time's a wasting!"

"Don't we need to wait anyways?"

"Look at you!"

...

In terms of rooms... This was the best one. The best one that Arras had seen so far anyways. It kind of scratched a very deep itch for him. Ever since he'd started living among colonial species. he'd started growing a bit of a taste for vanity. He appreciated his outfit, he appreciated when a house looked good, or was in a nice spot. He found extremely plain locations distasteful. Just another reason to be upset with the desert, he supposed. Regardless though, he found it equally distasteful when something was TOO flashy. There was a difference between visually and practically pleasing, and just visually pleasing.

This room, struck a fine balance. If not for the fact that it still felt suffocating like every other building did, Arras would say this would make for a very nice home. Independent of that aforementioned fact, he certainly didn't mind waiting in it for a little while. It wasn't like he hadn't dealt with the exact same feeling for half a week up until now. He could certainly manage it here as well, even without any assistance from Illia.

With a quick warning to Illia, Arras stretched out and then disabled his metamorphosis spell. She was still thinking to herself about something or other, but she'd gotten the warning loud and clear. She didn't say anything though, which was... A little worrying. Arras wasn't sure if he wanted to pry quite yet though, she didn't give off any overly negative emotions and she wasn't suppressing them via magic either. It was... More of a complicated mess than he cared to deal with unless actually necessary.

"Well, good to see you're making yourselves at home so quickly." Amakazi noted. Arras wasn't sure what trait he was supposed to assign to that tone of voice, things were much more difficult when you couldn't just directly pick up on the cadence of somebody's thoughts. It would be a lot easier for him to do it if she just... Wasn't difficult, and allowed her thoughts to go on the link...

This really wasn't something he wanted to deal with right now, his head hurt, he was tired, there was that always present pit of dread creeping and crawling through him... Maybe he wouldn't be able to deal with being stuffed inside right now.

"Would it be a problem if I went outside...?"

"Hm? No, I don't see why. Why didn't you just ask a moment earlier? Could've saved yourself the trouble of opening the door again." She smiled slightly. "Just down the hall way to the right, take a turn and you'll see it."

"That was... Surprisingly helpful."

"Don't bite the hand that feeds." Okay, that one was distinctly a tone of annoyance. Arras knew when to not "bite the hand that feeds", so with a spark of focus, he pushed through his headache and twisted the handle of the door via force magic.

Illia rose to her feet, but paused when Amakazi spoke again.

"Ah, you, Illia? if you wouldn't mind staying for a moment. I'd like to speak to you about something, should only be a minute or two."

"Why?" She turned and tilted her head, as did Arras.

She considered the thought for a few moments, before lightly cupping her own chin. "...Call it a bit of curiosity, maybe something more."

"...Fine, just a minute or two. Go on ahead Arras, I'll be right there."

"Very well." He turned back to the door, and padded right back out into the halls.

...

"So, what exactly did you want to talk to me about?" Illia stared up at Amakazi as she gazed right back down with an appraising eye.

"Like I said, call it curiosity."

"So now you decide to use the link."

"And I suppose you could also call it somewhat more of a private conversation."

"Fine... Fine. Seriously, what is it?"

"Allow me to be blunt, what is Arras to you?"

"...Eh?"

"Arras Veile, what is your relationship with him?"

"I-hold on, why the hell are you asking that?!" She barely managed to suppress a squeak of shock.

"And here I thought I was the one who couldn't stop beating around the bush."

After a short pause, Illia resolutely chose not to answer and instead asked her own question. "No, you can't just play that off, why do you want to know?"

"Because I sure as hell know how he feels about you. It's admittedly been bothering me, so I want to know." She shrugged as she finished off her statement, and sat down right in front of Illia.

"I... Well that's... Not really the kind of thing you just... Ask somebody?" She got a lot less defensive, but was now more so flustered rather than upset. Since when was Amakazi this direct? They had built their entire persona off being a time waster as far as Illia was concerned, so why now of all times? Why about this?

"Yet I'm asking it regardless. Will you answer the question or not?" She tactfully left out the last part of that sentence, but, she probably already had her answer...

"...I guess so...? Arras... We met each other a few months ago, back in The Grand Forest. We've basically always been within eye sight of each other from then on. We spend a lot of time together, so, he's my companion...?" She lamely explained, taking that one straight from his vocabulary.

Amakazi sighed, and pinched at the bridge of her nose. "I can't say I don't get the hesitation, but my, my is it upsetting to see it in somebody else."

"...What do you mean by that?"

"Allow me to inform you as to why I'm asking this question to begin with. The real reason, anyways."

Illia didn't see the need to interrupt, so she patiently waited as Amakazi paused.

"You understand how Arras feels about you, yes?"

"...I thought you were going t-"

"Just go along with it."

"...Fine. Yeah, I know. How could I not know?"

"Because he doesn't."

"Fair enough."

"I suppose you could say... It's a bit of a personal gripe of mine. Tell me, how much do you know about lassalins?"

"Not much, I've only really heard Arras mention them in passing."

"Hm, then I suppose you wouldn't know, but we live rather short lives."

"...Oh, sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. I'd trade our life spans in a heartbeat and not feel for you for even a moment. In fact, I suppose you could say I'm having this conversation with you because I'm jealous, or more accurately, because I can't believe what I've been seeing these past few days."

"Uh...Huh?"

"I have, maybe five or so years left to live. Not much time, but it is my time. I'm sure you're not so oblivious as to have missed how I feel about "Eri"?"

"...Wait I thought you two were just good friends?"

"Apparently you are that oblivious, my god." Amakazi smirked, Illia frowned. "Well, I suppose you wouldn't be wrong. We aren't in any official relationship, for a few reasons."

"Okay but what the heck does any of this have to do with what you asked me?"

"I'm getting to it. Don't you worry about it. Now, I was hoping you would ask me what those reasons were, but it matters not. I'll simply carry on unprompted. First off Eric is the heir to their Estate. If they're to marry somebody, it needs to be for a good reason, and the person they marry must be of importance, able to compliment the Estate in some way."

"...How is that a problem though? You're capable enough, aren't you?"

"Perhaps so, but this simply compounds with the main issue. You do recall how I'll only live a few more years at most, yes?"

"...Oh."

"Yes, 'Oh' indeed. It doesn't matter how much I love him, all I would bring him by following that affection through would be pain shortly down the road. So, because I love him, I don't. I do everything I can for him, but I don't do anything more than that. I ignore the cursed form I was born with, and play the part of his Knight."

"...Cursed?"

"Hm? Ah, yes, what I am. Illia, tell me, do you find it difficult to care from time to time? Do you see Arras brimming with purpose, clarity, emotion, all of that, and think, 'Meh, alright.' Do you?"

"...No?"

"I do. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to feel anything at all? I realize you're unaware of my species, but it's a rather defining trait. We don't feel on the same level that most other creatures do. The fact that I feel 'love' at all is a miracle, and yet at the same time, it's all the more depressing. I can't even go through with that affection for the sake of my own because of it. I couldn't imagine forcing Eric to suffer through my death just a short few years after we got married if I were to try my hand at it. Logically, I can't justify doing it. So, I can't do it. No matter how strongly I feel about him, it isn't strong enough."

And yet, despite her clearly upset tone of voice... It was lacking. Just like she said, Illia couldn't feel any real anger in there, it was the most fierce display of emotion she'd displayed since they'd begun speaking with each other, and it was still so... Dispassionate. Sure, she was sad, but she didn't sound nearly as sad as somebody describing that should.

"And yet I still can't even feel all that broken up about it. Perhaps it's just been awhile since I consigned myself to my fate, or maybe it's just because the results haven't hit me yet, either way, it's all so... Subdued. Which, is why it's rather surprising that I felt so strongly about you, about Arras."

"...What?"

And then she felt actual anger.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to see somebody have the picture perfect IDEAL of what you want to have? And despite that, they squander it? With their near unlimited time on this planet, their clear affection for each other, and they just dance around each other!? Do you have ANY idea how INFURIATING that is!? Cause I know I do, lord KNOWS I do!"

"I-"

"So answer the question. How do you feel about Arras?"

"Jeeze... You realize he's barely four months old, right? I'm just below five my-"

"Ashwings reach physical maturity at five months."

"Okay, but Arras-"

"Spirit foxes at four."

"..."

"Well?"

"Look I'm just not ready for something like that okay?" She hastily blurted out.

"You still haven't answered the question."

"Oh my god fine! Yes, I *think* I love Arras!?"

"And you only took seven minutes to get around to saying it."

"Still! I said I'm not ready for something like that and I mean it!"

"Isn't it so much easier to just admit it?"

"...Maybe!"

"You can call this one curiosity as well, but why him? He's rather boring, if you ask me. Sure, he's hard working, but, he's a bit of a rube."

"I know that." She tilted her head slightly. Didn't those two things kind of cancel out? Arras was a quick learner, so it wasn't like he would stay uneducated. He'd probably overtake her in a few weeks if he really put his mind to it. It wasn't as if Illia knew all that much about general things herself, she just had knowledge of political workings and contracts as was necessitated in her brief education. She couldn't exactly claim extensive superiority on that front.

"I don't really mind that?"

"...Then what do you care about?"

"Well... Like you said, he is hardworking, he's skilled with what he does, he accomplishes the tasks he sets his mind to. But... He's also honest to a fault, he tries to see things for what they really are, he sees ME for who I am, not what I can do. And, well... He's a good person, I'm sure of it. He shows remorse about things, he apologizes for his mistakes. After spending so much time with him... Is it really all that surprising that I'd come to care about him?"

That felt surprisingly liberating to get off her chest, still not something she could possibly fathom actually telling him though. Not yet.

After bearing her feelings out on an open pedestal like that, to somebody she formerly recognized as... Kind of an ass, she awaited a response with bated breath, the suspense was almost enough to make her huddle up into a corner to steady her heart.

"So why won't you tell him that?"

"Aw come on, is that really a necessary question to ask?" She started searching for an excuse to get out of dodge.

"Oh please."

"Well-I told you, I'm not ready to admit that to him, let alone anybody else??? You sort of forced my wing here."

"...But why? You want something, there's nothing stopping you from getting it, unlike me. I just... I can't fathom holding myself back like that."

"Look... I don't know okay? I'm just not ready."

She raised a cheeky eyebrow, before attempting a new line of questioning. "...What would you do if something happened to Arras?"

"Nothing's going to happen to him." She immediately refuted the possibility.

"You never know that. Something could happen. If you waste time now, could that mean spending less time with him?"

Illia blinked a few times, before narrowing her eyes at the snake before her. They sure as hell didn't look like one, but it definitely showed in her attempt of forcing an answer from her. "It's not like we need to be married to spend time together... I don't think he even knows what a marriage is either. Also, isn't that a little hypocritical coming from you?"

She scoffed, but defended herself anyway. "I know something's going to happen. I'll die within years. And logically, I'm not willing to put Eric through that. You don't know what's going to happen, but every second denying it is another wasted. Is that something you can live with should the worst come to pass?"

"...What the hell are you doing?"

"Caught on, hm?"

"Why do you care about this so much? Why are you trying to gaslight me into confessing to him?"

"Truth be told, I'm not sure. I shouldn't feel this strongly about it, yet I do. Seeing you and him clearly fit together, yet uphold a disguise of being master and familiar, simply... Hm, how should I say it...? I don't often feel anger, but this? It angers me greatly, and that's how I knew I had to act. If I were to give this all a bottom line, it would be this. Stop wasting your own time, and build that relationship as quickly as you possibly can."

"..."

"Do whatever you need to do. As an ashwing raised in the Veile family, you should know what you need to do already. Shouldn't be a political problem either, he already has your name. Likely doubly reinforced in the eye of the nobility by now as well."

"Wait-how the heck did you know that?"

"It's rather obvious, don't you think? Ashwings are rare, and there just happens to be one with no last name, yet it also happens to be paired up with somebody who bears the name? Really?"

"...Well, when you put it like that."

"Yes, yes. Well I certainly hope you take my words to heart. If you don't hurry up and get down to business, I might just feel passionate enough to go after Eric for once. And I wouldn't want to put him through that. Both the courtship, and the aftermath."

"...Okay I don't think I needed to know that?"

"Well, sucks to suck. I'm not feeling particularly tactful right now."

"You don't say?"

"Oh my, are you disrespecting a noble right now-" she paused where she would've said Mrs. "Illia?" And then paused again when she would've said Veile.

"Yes, yes I am. Are you going to have my head?" She snarked right back.

"Oh heavens no, here I thought we were just starting to get along, not that we were that far along yet!"

"...What?"

"Forget about it." She waved her off. "You've been keeping your 'companion' waiting long enough, go on." She smiled while standing back up, but Illia noticed something now. That smile was... Rather forced. She supposed it always had been, but Amakazi was just good at hiding her true feelings. Or, more accurately, that she didn't have much to hide. That... Honestly sounded like a sad existence to her. Being "cursed" probably wasn't too far off the mark. Doubly so, it occurred to Illia that Amakazi's thoughts were always surprisingly passionless... She had thought that it was just her filtering them out of the conversation, but, now she wasn't sure...

Amakazi frowned, and then that quickly transitioned into a scowl. "Even with a lack of discernible facial features, I can still recognize a look of pity when I see one. Knock that off before I go and tell the fox how you feel for you."

Back to verbal communication, but that was fine... It wasn't like she missed much of the nuance. "You know, you could try, but he might not be sure what exactly you're talking about." She smiled slightly and hopped once to turn around. "No need though, I get it. Well, I don't get it, really, but I understand what you mean."

She paused and thought to herself for a moment longer, but only for a moment. It wasn't something that required much debate. "...Oh, and I'm still not going to tell him. I meant it, I'm seriously not ready for anything like that."

"Hm. Then I suppose I've failed in my self assigned task."

"...Not exactly. I mean, you're not wrong about a few things. And... I probably should tell him, I don't think any harm would come of it. I'm just... Not ready, maybe it's not the place or time, maybe we just need a little more time walking this planet, or maybe I'm just embarrassed about it...? But still, not yet."

"Very well... Just know, I find your hesitation to be foolish."

"Well, just know, I don't care." She delivered that one in a real chipper tune.

"So you can make jokes like that, but I can't?"

"...Maybe I won't judge you on it too harshly anymore."

"Oh really now? I'll keep that in mind."

"...Don't."

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