“Riley Philips has sent you a connection request. Do you accept? Connections made will make it easier for you and the other party to communicate and join each other's sessions in the digital world.” Little human chimed the moment I had logged back into my new world.

I had taken longer than expected as the helmet had to do the whole first start up again. I was glad to notice I didn’t need to go through the ‘Make yourself better’ phase again. Even then I was later than the brat.

“Accept,” I said in my normal voice, sighing in relief after hearing it. There should not have been any doubt I did not need to whisper my way through life in the digital world. It all happened in my brain. But rationality had a loose grip on anxiety. So I was glad to hear my gruff, louder than average voice again. It's funny how a voice can make or break your identity. Trying to curse someone into oblivion had a whole different effect once you whispered it. It either became hella creepy or had zero effect.

“Praise the Lord!” I yelled into the elevator as it landed before the piece of shit gate. I had walked through it many times by now but every time it amazed me by how ugly it was.

When I walked onto my little piece of heaven I shouted, “Henry, get that magnificent mustache over here.”

It should be obvious why I was yelling more than usual. I was trying to find that sweet spot between a jackass and commanding again. Not that you could lose something that was almost second nature.

I saw Henry jog towards my location as I stared at an almost finished fence. I had never seen Henry jog before. The heavy breathing coming from his general direction showed he might have never jogged before in his life. Did randomly generated carpenters have a life outside helping people build? Or are they, generated?

I was about to ask Henry. Planning to use my best impression of full metal jacket. When Little human chimed something from behind me “You have an incoming request to play T.E.A.M. together. Message is from someone designated as ‘Family’ and ‘Minor’ by the central register. This makes the requirements to let a player join your club null. Would you like to accept Old bastard? Accepting will cause sharing progress. Requirements for further functionalities will adjust towards new parameters.”

I was about to shout ‘Accept’ when I registered the ‘adjusted parameters’ part. “Little human, what do you mean with adjusted parameters?” I asked, doubtful.

“Some functionalities will be more difficult to get. You are playing with two persons in one session. Not providing these adjustments would cause an unfair advantage. This creates the possibility to use this rule to get somewhere faster than others would. Having a family should not mean you have an unfair advantage. Rather it should mean you have something to share and experience together. If you would like a list of changes, I can provide this in audio or on paper. Most notable is the new requirement for hiring human help and players is now League E. Also a fence around the field, equipment storage, and corner flags are now on the list of requirements to join a League.” Little human chimed

My brain was in a weird state. It couldn’t decide if my perfect and unblemished poop hole was about to get a rude violation or that this was a good development.

It all depended on how Riley would function. If she got bored and fucked off after a half-hour I would be in deep shit. For the first time, I doubted the work ethics of the thirteen-year-old. Would my rusted manipulation skills mean anything in the face of teenage brain development? Could it live up to the hormone shit storm that was developing inside her tiny body? But could I say no at this point? Life had me by the balls. I could only postpone the negotiations until after the initial compromise.

Another thought popped up. Wasn’t I a minor in the eyes of the system? Would that mean George could already join? Interesting... but first I need to let the loose cannon in...

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I mumbled “Accept” and waited for my schrödingers cat to arrive.

At the spot where I, a few seconds ago, walked in, a faint shimmer went through the air and a teenage girl in a bright yellow tracksuit walked through. Out of thin air. Destroying my complete immersion with a wave of her hand.

I grimaced but still waved back before turning to Henry and asking him “So Henry, tell me, how is the build going?”

“Good,” He took a handkerchief out of his tool belt and wiped his forehead. Took his glasses off his nose and wiped those clean as well with the gathered sweat on the handkerchief. Then put his glasses back on and cleared his throat. He put handkerchief away and started his rapport “Almost finished, sir.” This man had a knack for drama. I loved it.

By now Riley had finished her short walk towards me and was standing right beside me. She interrupted the conversation in a rather rude way “Ow, he really has a great mustache. My father always said they made these Zombies very realistic. Never knew they looked this good. Totally see how you can mistake them for something real.” and with that, she killed the bit of immersion I had left.

I turned towards her and looked at her with my brows creased and my face strict. “First, no more calling them Zombies. Second, not to make a fuss out of nothing but why didn’t you change anything in your appearance? I was expecting Pamela Anderson to come through that shimmer. Not the teenage girl version of Big bird," I said.

She looked at herself for a moment, then at me, a hint of anger inside those chaotic eyes.

“My parents installed a function where I cannot change my appearance until I am eighteen. They thought it would mess with my head too much if I was perfect in this place but myself in the real. I bought this yellow tracksuit so I could fit in, you don’t like grandpa?” She said, all cutesy in the end but the violent shine in her eyes told a different story.

She looked at my shining shoes and my tracksuit saying, “Not that I usually take fashion advice from someone dressed like a mobster.”

Burn. Smart parents though, I thought before a second thought hit me like a hammer. I could still change my appearance... Thank you, Stew, for your mercy! Ow Stew the merciful one.

I coughed a few times. Trying to get the image of Stew being Caesar in a Colosseum full of people passing judgment on me, out of my head. I turned my attention towards Riley again “You mean to say, that you didn’t bring cigars and a hat to complete my outfit? Disrespectful! Why don’t you start chopping and I will be right over? Need to tell Henry here what his next project should be after building that gorgeous fence.” I stressed Henry’s name. But she didn’t take the ax I was handing to her.

She looked at it, her lips making an arc towards her nose before rolling her eyes. “You really don’t know how to play this game do you?” She said a bit of pity seemed to stick to her face.

I looked at her as my anger was rising “What do you mean game? Could you please leave me and my immersion alone? I need this to feel as real as possible otherwise this is all for nothing.” I said, volume rising towards the end.

She looked at me funny. Mulling that over before sighing. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. Looking confused once more she said “All right old man, I get it, calm your tits. Let me put it this way then, how many Lumber zom... Lumberjack... People? Workman? whatever you want to call it. How many do you have? Ten? Twenty? Even you should have thought about getting a small army right?” She stared at me like I was an idiot. Something I began to identify with.

“What do you mean? How will I pay for all those people? I only have around four hundred dollars right now.. even the axes they need will cost me my hard earned cash.” I responded, baffled. Was I doing something wrong here?

Her look had gone from confused to incredulous as she asked “Let me ask you this then. How much do you earn extra on each Lumberjack? and please keep in mind that this includes the rental a saw table and that you can rent more than one.”

“What? No way, where would they sleep? They leave you know if you don’t get them a shed or something after two weeks. I can’t house that many people yet.” I said my voice a whisper as my brain was calculating the amount of money I had lost if she was right.

“Of course they do, but who cares. Hire new ones!” She shouted at the end. I imagine that the sheer comical amateurism I displayed in her eyes was frustrating. Especially to someone who knew how this world worked.

A bomb went off inside my mind as she finished her sentence. Leaving me in a short stupor. Then I cackled like some kind of old school super-villain.

“Genius, absolute genius!” I hollered to the sky.

Henry looked at me fearful and by now Riley just sighed and shook her head saying “No man, general knowledge! You freaking dinosaur. Now, go hire twenty-seven more lumber people and rent thirteen table saws. Let us get this party started.”