I pulled the door close behind me and wobbled towards the living room. It had been a long week. So fucking long.

First, the surprise visit from Norma. Which was great. Even when I needed a fresh pair of underpants after she poked her head around the corner of the kitchen. I was pulling off my helmet at the time, no clue anyone was in my house, scaring the living daylight out of me. The dinner she had prepared was even better. It had been such a long time to eat something home cooked. I almost didn’t recognize the roasted cauliflower, boiled potatoes, and grilled sausage appearing in front of me.

She had left after we had discussed our mutual hatred for the succubus. How it might be possible to abduct little Rey and run away into the sunset with him. It had given me a good laugh even more so when I saw the serious look in Norma’s eyes. I knew she was considering it. Only after pointing out a thing or two I thought should be obvious to a grown woman, she agreed it might not be ideal.

The digital world had processed too. Slow, so slow, so so slow. It was another realistic thing I had discovered but at least I was making progress.

Planks were semi-impossible to make using a regular saw. I tried a day in my new world. Longest day in my life. One fatal accident that only hurt like a bitch, a bunch of curse words and screaming session later I had made three planks out of one tree. Sad and inefficient. So two weeks of relentless chopping and three new basic axes further I could rent a table saw. Yes, rent, as the bloody thing cost fifteen hundred dollars to buy, but only fifty to rent for a day. Seven hundred and fifty trees versus twenty-five.

I was losing income to the table saw but also made five times as much from each tree, which made me thrilled. At the current rate, I would save one hundred dollars a day. I cut down fifteen trees and made five wooden planks out of each. It used to be thirty trees a day, but sawing them into shape cost equal amounts of time as cutting them down. That and the four hundred-ish trees I still had laying as a backup, meant I had savings now.

I would thus say I was on the right track towards some actual development. That was until Norma called me again. while picking up I wondered what had gotten into her. She had never in her adult life contacted me twice in one week on her own volition. At least that was what I wondered until I heard her sobs on the other end of my outdated smartphone. Little Reynard had walked onto the road while chasing a bird. An automated garbage truck almost erased him.

My favorite cab driver or at least the most polite one I had found so far had made haste and had gotten a decent tip for it. I met up with the distressed Norma at the hospital, who whispered the rest of the story to me. The computer brain had driven another automated vehicle off the road to prevent itself from flattening the little squirt.

First Norma and I had confirmed that little Rey was not flat and very much alive. He only had bruises and scrapes from the slight contact he had made with the truck. Praise the lord. After the relief, came a frontal assault on the Succubus and George.

Now you might expect that this went over rather poor. But succubus joined our side for the first time in her life to ask George what the hell had happened. Turned out a group of fans had distracted George. Wanting both an explanation why he was so garbage this season and a picture with him. Norma and I forgave him as quickly as we had tried to rip his dingeling off. Succubus was nowhere near ready to do any of the sorts. All in all, it wasn’t a very unfavorable event. Weird as that might sound and I was feeling rather happy about the whole situation.

That was before we found out that the girl next to little Rey was the sole survivor of the automated car. It got smashed between momentum and the garbage truck, and only the girl survived.

I spent a better part of the week checking up on Little Rey until he got discharged. It was obvious the girl was in pain, even more so after the news. While the girl was having a hard time of it she didn't seem to break. Something very admirable for a teenager losing her entire world. Her sheer tenacity made me think of my one love. Now brown and muddy, but as indestructible as its weed cousins.

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As a final cherry on the cake, Norma had offered to go into the long process of adopting the little survivor. I didn’t know what was more surprising, Norma wanting to adopt the little bugger who was a complete mess. Or the little bugger agreeing. The pear-shaped woman with the droopy eyes had almost cried. Because her job had become ten times easier or because she was an emotional wreck herself.

But now I was home. Drama gone. I would have time to work on the next phase of the plan. The actual creation of something resembling a training ground or even a small stand. A person could dream.

I got into my chair, kicked my shoes off, and grabbed my former arch enemy. Comfortable. The moment I tried to put it onto my head I heard the distinct ringing sound of my smartphone coming from the hallway.

“Shit, what now, I haven’t been this popular in years. Can’t we go back to ignoring me and treating me like cow dung? Can’t these people see I am trying to CPR my best friend here before I die myself.” I grumbled my way towards my raincoat.

I got the antique out of the correct pocket after some searching. Looked at the caller. Then I picked up and continued to grumble “Norma, my favorite daughter, adopter of injured children. I know we have been bonding but I need to have some me time…”

It was silent for a moment and I was afraid I had gone too far. I had a knack for going overboard with jokes that were not always jokes. But soon after, I forgot my worry as Norma’s voice echoed into my ear “Dad, cut your bullshit and come and help me. I need to paint Riley’s room so the authorities don’t blow it off when they come over and inspect my house on Monday. It’s a mess and I need you.” Her voice sounded stressed but I guess adopting a thirteen-year-old in a spur-of-the-moment decision did that.

I was not enthusiastic “You know I’m deep in my seventies right? They have robots for that now sweetheart, nobody paints a thing anymore. Welcome to the year 2054, do you need anything else explained? Want me to tell you what happened in the last fifteen years? We have these digitize helmets now. Real handy for watching porn. If you are over the age limit at least.” My tone had gotten a little bitter towards the end with but who could blame me.

Norma paused again, but I was under no impression she would back off. Composing herself was more probable “Listen here, you sack of whale meat. It's a Friday afternoon. No one is available to finish it before Monday, not even the freaking graffiti removers. Please come and help me or I swear to god I will come and throw away all your deep freeze pizza’s.” she said, almost shouting.

“How about friends?” I asked, but I knew the answer.

“What fucking friends?” She responded with the expected.

But I was not ready to give up yet. I tried once more “How about that CEO guy, he seemed good with his hands.” I hoped for the best but still prepared my surrender. The waters were getting murky.

The pause was longer this time, the response off balance “I am not talking to him anymore. His wife came by to visit me at the office last week so I took a couple of vacation days.” I almost thought I heard shame, but that must have been the phone distorting the sound of her voice.

“All right, I will call my Uber guy and come over. But for the love of Christ and the holy grass he walked upon, please tell me the IKEA robots are installing their own shit. I’m not, I repeat, not, going to build another Billy in this lifetime.” I said as I gave in. Silence followed.

“Okay, thanks dad will see you soon,” she said, her voice calmer than before. Before she hung up though I heard her grumbling “If he is here I will just ask him to help with the Billy...“

Fuck.