– o – o – o – o – o – o – o –
No problem, my left buttcheek, Xander thought sardonically as he jogged down the street, his breath catching in his throat not just from the exercise but from the sheer ridiculousness of his situation.
Asking around about Amber had been as fruitful as a desert cactus. The pretty and popular crowd had given him weird looks, their eyes glazing over the moment he mentioned anything slightly out of the ordinary. Fun fact: the pretty and the popular tend to look down on my kind, weird skater guys who have a reputation for throwing around pop culture references and snarking. It was a harsh reality, but one he was all too familiar with.
Story of my life, Xander mused, shaking his head as he continued his jog, dodging pedestrians and the occasional stray dog.
With the case of the spontaneously combusting cheerleader momentarily on hold Xander found his thoughts drifting to his so-called new job. Or at least, what he assumed was supposed to be a job.
Sam, his mysterious and infuriatingly elusive so-called 'master,' had barely even been paying attention to him all throughout the week, leaving him alone with Buffy and Willow. Apart from seeing him at times in the halls, he'd be wondering if he hallucinated the whole thing. Hell, the last time they had interacted was a few days back when Sam had pressed a ruby-red pager into his hands with a firm, "don't lose it," before disappearing into the crowd.
A pager, really? Xander thought, honestly confused. He's a devil. Can't he just speak to me through mirrors or something like that?
If he didn't know any better, he would think Sam didn't really want anything to do with him anymore. Which was both a relief and a frustration. Just what had he signed up for?
The final school bell had rung not twenty minutes ago, its echo still bouncing in his ears as he stood up from his seat when the pager had beeped to life in his pocket. Fumbling to read the message, he had groaned at the terse command: [Red bldng at end of Maple Ct, nxt 2 mall. Get here.]
Now here he was, running across town because, for some unfathomable reason, he had forgotten his skateboard at home.
Guess even half-devils can have off days, Xander thought, his lungs burning as he pushed himself to keep running. Or maybe I'm just naturally forgetful. Who knows?
The worst part was that his supposed superpowers were apparently solar-powered... or technically the opposite, considering they didn't kick in until after sunset. And he wouldn't lose that little backlash for a month or two still.
Which meant that for the majority of the day, he was just plain old Xander. No enhanced strength, no supernatural speed, nothing. No more Spider-Xan or Super-Xan or Captain Xanmerica.
He paused for a moment, then shook his head. ...Okay, maybe that last one's a stretch.
Figures, Xander grumbled internally, his legs starting to ache as he turned a corner, the mall coming into view in the distance. I finally get powers, and they come with a reverse curfew.
Feeling cheated was an understatement. He hadn't given up his soul—at least he hoped not, despite what the literal devil had told him. But what was the point if he couldn't use his new powers when he actually needed them, like sprinting across town or, more importantly, dunking a basketball?
I swear, if this turns out to be some kind of prank or hazing ritual, I'm gonna be pissed, Xander thought, his jaw clenching as he pushed himself to run even faster, the red brick building growing closer with each step. I did not sign up to be the devil's errand boy… or did I?
By the time he reached the designated location, he was panting, sweat plastering his hair to his forehead and his shirt clinging uncomfortably to his back. The building he stood before was a stark, red brick structure starkly out of place opposite the gleaming modernity of Sunnydale Mall. In red and black gothic lettering, the sign atop the building read [Rosen Queen Co.] and right below that in smaller signage, the words [Sunnydale Branch] .
Rosen Queen Co.? Xander thought, frowning as he stared up at the unfamiliar name. Never heard of it. Then again, I haven't exactly been keeping up with the local business directory.
He glanced around, taking in the empty street and the quiet surroundings. The mall was bustling with activity, shoppers and teenagers milling about, but this little commercial section across the mall seemed almost deserted.
Xander paused, taking a moment to catch his breath and wipe the sweat from his forehead. "'So, this is what he's always so busy with across town." Shrugging his shoulders, he held open the front door. "Time to see what fresh hell awaits me on the other side." And like that, he walked in.
– o – o – o – o – o – o – o –
Xander stepped inside the Rosen Queen Company's Sunnydale Branch, the door closing softly behind him with a click that echoed slightly in the expansive lobby. 'Huh,' he thought, raising an eyebrow as he surveyed his surroundings, 'Not what I expected honestly.'
A blast of air conditioning greeted him as he entered, powerful and brisk. It swept over him like a wave, chilling the sweat on his skin that Sunnydale's relentless heat had inflicted. Oh, sweet, sweet AC, Xander thought, letting out a soft sigh of relief as the cool air washed over him. I could get used to this.
The lobby was strikingly designed, with ceilings tiled in a vibrant red that contrasted sharply with the glossy black vinyl floors. The walls, painted an unobtrusive off-white, seemed almost to recede, making the bold colors pop even more. Above, fluorescent lights buzzed softly, casting a bright glow that reflected off the shiny surfaces.
Wow, they really went all out with the red and black theme, Xander mused, his eyes widening slightly as he took in the decor. It's like they're trying to scream 'we're run by the devil' without actually saying it.
Compounding the surreal atmosphere was the music that played softly in the background. It was an odd, melodic tune, as if half a dozen different ice cream trucks were playing at once and somehow sounding... good. "Weird," Xander muttered under his breath, his gaze sweeping across the room.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVuXU67J3Ys
If this is what hell sounds like, it's a lot more pleasant than I imagined, he thought, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. Then again, I always figured there'd be more screaming and less... whatever this is.
"Hello!" The sudden voice made Xander jump slightly, his heart skipping a beat as he whirled around to face the source of the sound. It was feminine and melodic, slicing through the odd music and drawing his attention immediately.
Cheese and rice, warn a guy next time, Xander thought, taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart. I'm already on edge here, I don't need any more surprises.
Xander turned towards the source of the voice, his eyes landing on a black reception desk situated against a bright red tiled wall. A large sign with the building's name hung in gothic lettering, starkly black against the red backdrop. Behind the desk stood a short young woman with dirty-blond hair styled in a pixie cut. She wore a tight red-and-black leather dress that seemed almost out of place for an office setting, her smile inviting as she noticed Xander approaching.
Holy... okay, that's definitely not standard receptionist attire, Xander thought, his eyes widening slightly as he took in the woman's outfit. Unless this is some kind of weird demon dress code or something.
As Xander moved closer, he noticed how bright her eyes were and, more noticeably, there were slight ridges raised on both her cheeks, giving her a literally otherworldly look. "Welcome to the Rosen Queen Company, Sunnydale Branch. I'm Tana. How may I assist you today?" Her voice was as inviting as her smile, her eyelids lowered in a way that almost seemed... lustful.
Okay, that's definitely not normal, Xander thought, swallowing hard as he felt his face heat up under the receptionist's gaze. Unless she's just really, really friendly.
She smiled at him, eyelashes fluttering. Or... oh wow, is she flirting with me?
Stumbling over his words, Xander struggled to form a coherent response. 'Work, brain, I'm begging you, work!' he pleaded internally, feeling his face heat up with embarrassment. Don't make me look like an idiot in front of the hot demon receptionist.
"Do you have an appointment?" Tana continued, the receptionist licking her lips as she looked Xander up and down, her gaze lingering on certain areas longer than others.
Oh wow, she is flirting with me, Xander realized, his eyes widening even further as he felt a bead of sweat trickle down the back of his neck. Okay, play it cool, Harris. You've got this.
"I..." Xander gulped, his voice squeaking slightly as he tried to remember why he was there. "Uh, S-Sam told me to come here."
Smooth, real smooth, he chided himself, resisting the urge to facepalm. Way to impress the lady with your eloquence and wit.
Tana's expression shifted from professional curiosity to recognition. "Sam?" She paused, her mouth forming a small 'o' of realization. "You mean, 'Mr. Ash'? Oh, you're his 3 pm!"
Mr. Ash? Xander thought, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion. Since when does Sam go by 'Mr. Ash'?
"...yes?" Xander replied, still not entirely sure what that meant but going with it. Just play it cool, Harris, he reasoned, nodding slowly.
She pointed towards a door across the lobby. "Up the stairs and right down the hall. You can't miss it," she instructed with a nod, her professional demeanor returning as she offered him a final smile.
Stairs, hall, can't miss it, Xander repeated in his head, trying to commit the directions to memory. Got it. I think.
"...thanks," Xander managed, his voice steadier now as he nodded back, offering Tana a small smile of his own before turning towards the door.
Xander made his way up the stairs to the second floor slowly at first, but more quickly after the first landing. He could feel the shift in atmosphere with every echoing step, the air somehow growing warmer with every step, yet somehow even more comfortable than the air conditioned coolness of the lobby. As he exited the stairwell, he was greeted by a hallway that maintained the same stark design; the ceilings a vivid red, the walls a clean off-white, and the floor a glossy black. The fluorescent lights overhead cast a bright but harsh light, making the reds seem even more intense.
Walking down the hallway, Xander couldn't help but feel like he was moving through a scene from a stylish noir film—only with a color palette that aggressively favored red and black. He approached a bright red door framed in black, unmistakable among the otherwise plain hallway decorations. On the door, a black plate with red lettering displayed the name "Samuel L. Ash VI."
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
Man, this guy is riding the red and black theme into the ground. Rolling his eyes, he raised his hand to knock but was interrupted by a familiar drawling voice from the other side, "It's open."
Pushing the door open, Xander stepped inside and found himself unsurprised by the continuity of the color scheme. The large office was decked out in the same red and black theme as the rest of the building. Sam was sprawled comfortably behind a black-and-red desk, in a black vest and tie along with a red shirt, lounging in a black leather office chair that looked both ridiculously expensive and supremely comfortable. He looked up at Xander with a broad smile, spreading his arms wide. "What do you think?"
Xander paused, taking in the room with a critical eye before landing his gaze back on Sam. "... I think you're homesick."
Sam barked out a laugh, waving his hand to guide Xander into a chair. "See, that's why I like you, Xan Man. You make me laugh."
"Oh goody, I give the devil the giggles," Xander deadpanned, sinking into one of the chairs in front of the desk. The leather felt cool against his back. "Maybe when I die, I'll get the soft pitchfork in my kiester."
"See, that's what I mean," Sam grinned, the amusement clear in his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, fingers steepled in front of him. "Always a quip. You know how rare that is? I mean, to do with feeling? You're actually scared out of your mind and the only way you can fight that is to joke your way through it."
Xander shifted in his seat, his expression a mix of confusion and hesitant pride. "...thanks?" he ventured, unsure whether he was being complimented or critiqued. I mean, it's not like I try to be funny, he thought, his brow furrowing slightly. It's just how I cope. Better than curling up in a ball and crying, right?
Sam's expression turned serious, his smirk fading into a more business-like demeanor as he leaned forward, elbows on the desk. "Don't thank me yet. I've got work for you."
"Finally," Xander blurted out before he could stop himself, relief and excitement mixing in his voice. It's about time, he thought, straightening up in his chair.
Sam paused, raising an eyebrow at Xander's outburst, the look on his face unreadable.
"Just wondering when you'd actually have me start doing devil stuff, you know," Xander added quickly.
"...now," Sam stated flatly.
"Just wondering," Xander repeated defensively, raising his hands in a placating gesture. Okay, maybe a little too eager there.
"Well, no more wondering," Sam replied, standing up from his chair and walking around the side of his desk to lean against it, arms crossed over his chest. "You're officially an employee of Rosen Queen, same as Tana downstairs, but with more authority cause a, you're a devil and b, you're my Pawn."
Xander perked up at that, his eyes widening slightly. "...do I get an office?" he asked, half-joking but also half-serious. Please say yes, please say yes, he chanted in his head, already imagining himself lounging behind a big fancy desk, feet propped up as he barked orders at underlings.
"...We'll see."
Xander couldn't help the grin that spread across his face at the possibility. "Nice."
Sam stared at him for a moment, eyes slightly narrowed. "...Not gonna ask about the Pawn thing?"
"No, not really," he said, his gaze wandering around the office, taking in every detail before settling back on Sam.
"Wait, I do have a question though," a thought occurred to him, his brow furrowing. "What does this place even do anyway?" he asked, gesturing at the room around them.
Sam pushed off from the desk, allowing Xander to see his outfit in full. The dreadhead was dressed in a matching pair of black dress pants to match his vest, a pair of red leather shoes on his feet to round out the entire outfit. Snazzy, Xander thought, taking in the devil's attire. Guess even hell has a dress code.
"The Rosen Queen Company is my pet project. We are something of a retail corporation with a focus on specialty items catering towards innovation and inclusivity for entities spanning from demons to humans with a penchant for the arcane," Sam explained, his voice taking on a slightly more formal tone. "We specialize in a vast array of products and services tailored to meet the unique needs of its diverse clientele and h-"
"Demon Wal-Mart, got it," Xander quipped, interrupting his boss. Makes sense, he thought, nodding to himself. Even demons need to shop, I guess.
"...yeah, pretty much," Sam admitted with a resigned sigh, his shoulders slumping slightly.
Xander's grin widened, sensing an opportunity for more banter. "And my job is, what, to be a greeter?" he smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Cause I think the hottie at the front could do a better job than I ever could."
Sam's expression turned a bit more serious again, blue eyes narrowing slightly. "No," he replied slowly, his tone a mix of amusement and sternness as he eyed Xander across the desk. "That's not your job. And also, if Tana hits on you, don't encourage her."
Xander's eyebrows shot up, his interest piqued. "Why?" he asked, his grin turning mischievous as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "Is it 'cause she's too old for me?"
"Homie, we're devils, you're old enough. I really don't care," Sam shot back, his hand slicing through the air. His expression was serious, though, clear in his tone. "It's just that she's a Vimite demon. You don't have the durability or stamina to handle what she'll do to you."
Xander's eyes widened. Not the worst way to go, though, he thought, his imagination briefly taking a wild turn before snapping back to the conversation. Death by sexy demon secretary.
"I don't need to read your mind to read your face. No fraternizing with my help," Sam added sharply, catching Xander's momentarily distracted gaze. "I don't feel like healing your broken pelvis, spine and/or soul because you were stupid."
"Aw," Xander shook his head, feigning disappointment even as he mentally filed away the knowledge of Tana's demonic nature for later. Probably best not to mess with that, he admitted to himself, deciding to look through Giles' books later. At least not until I know what I'm dealing with.
"Whatever, I'll live," he said aloud, shrugging.
"As long as you stay away from Tana after hours, yeah," Sam shot back.
"What's my job again?" he asked, redirecting the topic back to the important stuff.
"Simple," Samuel snapped his fingers, and a piece of paper appeared in his hand in a flash of red. "You handle contracts," Sam continued, holding up the paper for Xander to see. It was covered in strange symbols and runes.
"Hmm, Hmm," Xander nodded thoughtfully, pretending to understand what he was looking at for a moment. "...and contracts are?"
Sam smirked. "Short answer: I have some employees hand out flyers with these runic circles on them to the greedy and supernaturally aware folks in town. People drop some blood on them when they wanna make a wish. Devil shows up, wish gets answered, you get a tiny little permanent boost of power from the deal, and as your King, so do I."
"...power," Xander narrowed his eyes slightly, a question on his mind. "You mean, like their soul?"
Samuel's smirk vanished again, a sigh escaping his lips. "No, for the third time, no soul. Not unless they want to pay with their soul and even then," the Fiend demon shook his head, dreadlocks swaying with the motion, "it's not the most effective payment structure. Makes us look bad, too."
The teenager shrugged. "Alright… I guess, but where's the power come from then?"
The devil in a suit rolled his eyes. "I gotta write you a pamphlet or something, this is gonna get annoying quick," he said with a groan, rubbing his nose.
"Look, you don't have to exp-" Xander raised his hands defensively.
"Shut up," Sam raised a finger, cutting him off as the redhead raised his gaze. "Here's the quick and easy. People use the word soul to talk about a lot of things and they're wrong and stupid for that, but it's simple so whatever."
"I'm with you." No, I'm not.
"No, you're not, shut up," Sam shot back, the quick response making Xander's eyes widen.
Is he reading my m-
"No, I'm not reading your mind. I told you, your face is just... your face," Sam interrupted with a sigh, narrowing his eyes at him. "Also, you're gonna naturally get better at that. The lying thing. Don't worry, it's genetic or… metaphysical… metaphysically genetic?" He glanced to the side, squinting for a moment, before looking back over at Xander. "I was talking about the soul, right?"
Xander kept his face blank, doing his best to hold back a laugh. "You were doing that, yeah."
"Shut up, anyway… the soul is actually made up of three parts," Sam continued, holding up three fingers. "The affectus, animus, and the vitus. Right off the bat, forget affectus," he pulled down one finger with the other hand, "nobody gives three fucks about that. It's emotions and morals and the part that makes you instinctively feel bad when you do bad. That's the part of the soul that vampires get rid of to make way for more demon animus," he held down his middle finger, focusing a look at Xander, "aka "primal force" or "animating force" in the soul space, the instincts and physical power of a thing, okay? Example A, vampires become psychopaths because of demon predatory instinct replacing their human social instinct. Example B, some free-floating animus, enough of it at least, can form a poltergeist or something, because it's a remnant of strong emotions, instincts and ideas of a dead person, but not a real ghost."
Xander nodded slowly. "Okay."
Sam snorted, shaking his head again. "And last, but certainly not least, we got the Vitus, the vital part of a soul, the heart, not like emotionally but like… the part that makes you you, like you you. This is the thing that makes a ghost an actual ghost that can think and respond because it's the actual vital personal part of a soul. We get a little bit of human animus, basically stamina and physical energy which grows back pretty quickly in general, but for us Devils, it gets permanently added to our standard level with every contract, boosting us up a little bit. You get me?
Xander processed the information quickly, nodding in understanding. Okay, so demonic Make a Wish gives you more energy, got it, he thought, his mind racing with the possibilities. Except instead of getting a trip to Disneyland, you get... anything else you want? "Alright, easy peasy," he said aloud, rubbing his hands together. "Where do I go?"
"Well, traditionally, I'd have a magic circle set up to teleport you to your contractor," Sam explained, his voice taking on a teasing tone that made Xander's stomach sink.
"...traditionally?" Xander echoed, a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. "Meaning not currently."
"Yeah, I figured you could use the exercise," Samuel grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Ever heard of Uncle Bob's Magic Cabinet?" His grin widened as he tossed the contract paper at Xander, who caught it with a fumbling grasp.
Xander let out a groan, slumping in his chair as he recalled the place. "That's all the way on the north side of town."
"You better start running, then."