– o – o – o – o – o – o – o –
"Also, that outfit is a choice," Xander continued, fingers twitching as he fought back the urge to wince. "I mean, were you trying to summon a demon or lose your virginity to it?" His eyes roamed over the other three, turning as slowly as he could even as his muscles seemed to burn with every movement. What the hell did these weirdos do to me? he thought, gritting his teeth against the pain. It's like I'm being grilled from the inside out.
Despite the agony coursing through his body, Xander couldn't help but take in the sight of the other three teenagers, each one more ridiculously dressed than the last. "Oh, wow… all of you… well, you tried," he said, the words coming out in a strained chuckle. Tried and failed miserably, but hey, points for effort, I guess.
He was surprised he could speak without stuttering, the pain so intense that it felt like every nerve ending was on fire. Xander glanced down at the circle, anger and confusion warring on his face as he took in the odd symbols glowing an ominous red and the white line of… salt? that was drawn around said circle. Great, not only am I being tortured, but I'm being seasoned too. What's next, a little pepper and a side of fries?
"Whatever!" The girl in front of him shouted, her makeup the most laughable of the bunch. Seriously, did she just close her eyes and hope for the best when she was putting that on? Xander wondered, barely suppressing a snort. "If you are a demon…"
"No, I'm actually the Hamburglar," Xander shot back, wincing slightly as another burst of pain shot through him, making his knees buckle for a moment before he forced himself to stand straight again. Come on, Harris, keep it together. Don't let Little Miss Anne Rice see you sweat. "You guys got any Happy Meals?"
"What?" The girl pulled a face, clearly confused, and Xander had to fight back the urge to roll his eyes. Right, probably too busy shopping at Hot Topic and listening to The Cure to watch cartoons.
Xander gestured at her with one lazy hand, the other tightly clenched into a fist at his side as he tried to ride out another wave of pain. "I just assumed you were obviously Ronald McDonald's goth sister or something and I just wanted to play along, y'know." He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest in a move that he hoped looked more casual than it felt. "I gotta ask, though, were you going for medieval harlequin on purpose, or was all this," he waved a hand at her entire getup, "just a happy accident?"
"Enough!" Harlequin girl screeched, clenching the book in her hand so tightly that Xander was surprised it didn't crumble to dust.
Jeez, take a chill pill, Bozo.
"That eye makeup is definitely enough, yeah," Xander smirked, despite another shot of pain that nearly had him seeing stars. Damn, she's annoying… and loud. Why do the crazy ones always have to be so loud?
"Demon…"
"Devil," Xander corrected, more out of spite than anything else.
Another burst of pain wracked his body as the words left his mouth, the teenage Fiend clenching his teeth shut tight rather than let it show on his face. Son of a… what the hell did they do to me? He glanced down at the ritual circle under his feet again, wondering if this was why she seemed so confident. Does she think I can't leave it or something?
"You're the Devil?" Another girl asked, looking far more nervous than the first. She looked pale, her skin slightly gaunt, which seemed at odds with the rest of her plump body. At least one of them has some sense, Xander thought, taking in her pigtails and the way she seemed to be trying to make herself as small as possible in her tight purple dress.
Xander turned his head to face the pigtailed Asian girl, doing his best to ignore the way his neck muscles screamed in protest. "...a Devil, not the Devil. That might be my boss, I'm not sure. He's really vague about it," he explained, shrugging one shoulder and immediately regretting it as another jolt of pain shot down his arm. "I mean, not vague vague, but definitely hiding something, I don't really care though. Not a baddie, not my business."
"Who cares?" The first girl spat as Xander turned back to face her, her black lipstick making her sneer look even more pronounced.
I care, Elvira. I very much care about not being mistaken for the literal King of Hell, thank you very much.
"We have summoned you, devil, to do our bidding."
"No," Xander corrected again, fighting the urge to sigh in exasperation. Seriously, did she even read the flier before she started chanting? "You summoned me to make a deal. I can tell you paid something up front, otherwise the summoning wouldn't have been so urgent. But whatever… what do you want?"
"We want justice!"
The young Devil blinked, certain he must have misheard. Justice? From a group of discount Marilyn Manson wannabes? This ought to be good.
"Justice for every weird kid that was picked on in high school," the girl finished, her voice ringing with a self-righteousness that made Xander want to gag.
What. Xander's mouth fell open slightly for a few seconds as he tried to process the sheer absurdity of the situation. "Let me get this straight. You summoned a literal Devil…" he took in a breath, "to get revenge on your high school bullies? Seriously?"
The chubby Asian kid raised his hand.
Xander felt his eye twitch as he turned to look at him. "I'm not your teacher, this is not English class, you don't have to raise your hand."
"Oh," the kid lowered it slowly, "Ummm… yeah, pretty much, that was kinda sorta the plan."
Xander shook his head, immediately regretting it as another wave of pain crashed over him. I've heard of petty, but this takes the cake.
"...Listen… what's your name?" he asked, turning back to the clear ringleader. "You with all that on her face…" He did his very best to keep his voice level despite the growing urge to laugh in her face.
"Hester," the Goth vampiress answered imperiously.
Wow. He held his tongue on that one, biting down on at least three or four different jokes that popped into his head immediately. "Listen, Hester, I can relate, but I'm not sure how summoning a devil is gonna do that for you."
"We're going to rid the world of the perfect, pretty, popular Slayer-" Hester began, eyes wide and manic as she started to explain her grand plan.
Xander's, on the other hand narrowed, his hazel eyes unbeknownst to him shifting to and staying a particularly bloody shade of red. "Nerd vamps said what now?" he interrupted, his voice low and dangerous.
"Then we'll take our rightful place in vampire society, adored by all!" Hester finished, hands held high in a gesture of twisted triumph.
Vampires. Xander took in a breath, turning around to face all four of them, the burning pain from whatever spell they had cast seeming to fade into the background as the familiar energy in his gut spiked. "So… all of you are vampires?" he asked, though it was more of a statement than a question.
A surrounding murmur of yes's filled the graveyard, the chubby Asian boy in the popped collar adding, "Just got turned before Christmas, actually." Merry freakin' Christmas to you too, buddy, Xander thought bitterly. Hope Santa brought you a nice, shiny new moral center to replace the one you lost.
"Good for you…," his eye twitched as he held back his rage, the red energy inside him churning and twisting like a snake ready to strike. "And you want me to kill the Slayer." Again, not a question, not that the immortal teenagers in front of him seemed to notice as they answered in the affirmative once more.
Xander took in another breath, fists clenched so tightly he could feel his nails digging into his palms. They want me to kill Buffy. They summoned me, a Devil, to murder one of my best friends. The thought alone was enough to make his blood boil, the red haze of anger threatening to consume him.
"And… forgive me if I'm wrong here, but you're doing all of this so the cool vampire kids will let you sit at their table?" Xander asked calmly.
At once, they nodded.
The red-eyed devil felt his eye twitch again, a muscle in his jaw jumping as he fought to keep his composure. "That's so fuckin' lame."
"Shut up!" Hester shouted back, her shrill voice grating on Xander's already frayed nerves. He shot her a look that promised pain. Oh, I'll shut up alright. Right after I shut you up permanently, you crazy bi-
Xander ignored the twinge of pain as he stood up straight, the raw energy in his body thrumming like a live wire. "I get it. You're newborns, bottom of the pecking order, thin-blooded cannon fodder. You can barely lift a fridge and outrunning a German Sheperd is a coin toss."
"A German Sheperd bit me last week, actually," the white teen in tight clothes chimed in.
"I didn't ask, leather boy," Xander shot back calmly, crossing his arms. "Anyway, the smart thing to do would be to find some hidey-hole, like a nursing home and drink from the elderly for the next 25 years till you hit fucking fledge and you go from shit on the bottom of a vampire pilgrim's buckled shoe to the dirt under that four hundred year old Prince's stompers."
The Asian boy looked up again. "...that's a pretty logical plan."
"Shut up, Steve!" The Goth shouted back at him. "That's so uncool!"
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"I can respect a vampire trying to kill me. Hell, I'd be fine with a vampire trying to summon me, but doing it out of peer pressure?" Xander continued as he shook his head, hiding his glances from side to side as he tried to keep his head, tried to focus on anything but the overwhelming urge to rip these idiots apart. "Don't let other people tell you how to live your life. Or half-dead tortured existence, whatever."
"I don't care," Hester screeched again, her voice like nails on a chalkboard to Xander's sensitive ears. "Are you gonna kill that stupid blonde Slayer bitch or not?"
Xander simply smirked at the screaming girl, the expression more a baring of teeth than anything else. "Why would I kill one of my best friends for a bunch of bloodsuckers?"
"Best fri-" Her words froze on her tongue, the girl's eyes going wide as Xander rushed forward, only to slam painfully into what seemed to be an invisible wall.
What the hell?
"Shit!" A grunt of pain ripped from his lips as he hit the ground, one that seemed to be matched by three of the other vampires in the group. "What the hell?" He growled, getting back up on his feet, his body protesting the sudden movement. Xander held a hand up, palm coming in contact with what he could only describe as a red-tinted force field that seemed to ripple slightly under his touch. Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
Hester watched him with an evil smile, her black lips curling up in a sadistic grin. Enjoy it while you can, Bozo. I'm gonna wipe that smirk right off your face.
The young devil drew an arm back and drove a fist into the barrier with all his strength, red energy rippling from the point of impact and slamming back into him with a force that made him shout.
Son of a- The force seemed to ripple out to the other three just like before, one of them falling to his knees, his face contorted in pain.
"It hurts!" the Asian girl called out, panicked, her voice high and shrill. "It hurts! Hester, what's happening?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Hester replied calmly, smiling at her friends like Sylvester looking at Tweety Bird. "Your energy is being drained to control and fully bind the demon." To her left and right, both boys dropped to their knees, screaming and holding themselves as red energy poured from their bodies like blood from a wound.
"Why are you doing this?" the other girl asked weakly as she dropped to her hands and knees, her face pale and drawn. "We're friends!"
"And as my friends, you should be okay with doing me this one tiny favor."
Xander stared in shock and rage, the red in his eyes shifting to the color of fresh blood. What kind of monster… He couldn't even finish the thought, raw disgust and anger choking him. Using your friends as batteries, as cannon fodder... all to get back at some high school bullies? You're not just a monster, you're a pathetic one.
"Alright, fuck this!" Dark red energy surrounded Xander's raised fist, seeping from his pores like oil before thickening into a dark miasma, crackling with potential.
Yelling at the top of his lungs, a primal scream of rage and frustration, Xander plunged his fist into the ground, the energy surging through him and into the earth.
With a sound like a cannonball, the ritual circle exploded.
The force of the blast sent Xander flying back, his body slamming into a nearby tombstone with a sickening crack. Okay, ow. Note to self, be further away next time you decide to punch a magic circle.
The devil got to his feet rather quickly as the pain faded fast, noting with some smugness that his clothes were untouched, not even dirty from being dragged through the dirt. Perks of being a demon, I guess, Xander thought, brushing off imaginary dust from his jacket. No dry cleaning bills for this guy.
With a slow stride, he walked past a group of groaning, gaunt vampires, the three of them far too weak to be a threat right now, their faces drawn and pale, like they had been drained of all their energy. Serves them right, Xander mused, stepping over one of the prone bodies.
He made his way past the scorched ground that had once held a glowing blood-red ritual circle, the earth blackened and smoking, the acrid scent of burnt grass and something else, something darker, filling his nostrils.
He only had one target, and his eyes were locked on her like a missile seeking heat.
The girl in question, Hester, tried to crawl away, her face in full vampire mode, ridges and fangs on display as she tried to draw on all her strength. It was a futile effort, one leg entirely broken, the bone poking through the skin, and the other filled with gravel, leaving deep, bloody gashes.
"Stay away! Stay away from me! Don't… don't, don't touch me!" she screamed, her voice high and panicked, a far cry from the confident ringleader she had been just minutes before.
"You're an idiot, you know..." he said with a sigh.
Hester shook her head, chest heaving despite her lack of need to breathe.
"I don't know why you thought it'd be a good idea to mess with the bindings that already that exist in that circle that make me unable to kill you..." he shook his own head, actually confused. "The torture bit every time I disobeyed you was bad enough, but removing the part that keeps your ass from being demon food... I don't get it... that's on the flier for a reason, so we don't get any funny ideas. Why would you?"
Xander came to a stop just a foot or two away, standing over the girl with a look of contempt on his face as he stared down at her. Not so tough now, are you? he thought, a grim satisfaction settling in his chest. "Anyway... I can make it quick… or I can make it slow, your choice."
"...what was that?" the girl finally asked, not answering his question, her yellow eyes wide with fear and something else, something that might have been awe if it wasn't so heavily tinged with terror.
He raised his eyebrows, not expecting the question. She's about to die, and that's what she's worried about? Priorities, much? "...I don't actually know," he admitted with a shrug. "Didn't even know I could do it till you pissed me off. Not all that good at this magic shit, or this demon shit, to be honest, outside of the killing stuff. Don't even have enough Demon Energy to grant wishes yet. Energy's too unstable to even cast cantrips, even, li-wait..."
Xander blinked, shaking his head. "Why am I telling you this? I need to get a personal note recorder. I'm venting to fucking leeches. What would Sam say?"
"...who's S-Sam?"
Xander glanced down. "Shut up. Anyway, I'm thinking of calling it Hell Impact." Xander raised his fist again and smirked, a little proud of the name as red light flared around his fist, to a much smaller degree than before. "Drains me like helll but... whaddya think?"
She glared at him impotently, not even bothering to move anymore. "You're a monster."
"Well, technically..." The Fiend stared back, unmoved by her accusation. "The same way a tomato's a fruit, but you trying to murder your friends makes you the actual monster," he said, his voice flat and cold.
He raised his sneakered foot over her head as the goth let out a final pained hiss, trying to rear up at him. It almost might have been scary if it weren't so pathetic.
"Also, you're a vampire. That also pretty much makes you a monster," Xander added, almost as an afterthought. In case there was any doubt.
With that, he brought his foot down, a sickening crunch echoing through the graveyard as Hester's vampiric skull caved in under the force of his stomp. Her body crumbled to dust a moment later, leaving nothing but a pile of ashes and the fading echoes of her scream.
Well, that was therapeutic, Xander thought to himself. I should really stomp on vampires more often. His gaze slowly turned to the other bloodsuckers in the graveyard, all three of them half-conscious a few yards away. Speaking of…
– o – o – o – o – o – o – o –
10 Minutes Later
Brown eyes behind a pair of big round glasses blinked slowly, blearily opening wide as a tired, pale face rose from the cemetery ground. Glancing around as she sat up, the young female vampire could only ask weakly, "...Hester?"
"She's dead, Jim," Xander answered back from where he sat on a gravestone, watching the three young vampires regain consciousness, his legs swinging idly. Took them long enough.
The pigtailed girl turned around to see him and blinked, confusion clear on her face as she gripped her dress tightly. "...who's Jim?"
Xander frowned, letting out a long sigh as he hung his head. "...savages. Anyway," He hopped down from his makeshift seat, hands sliding into his pockets as he sauntered over to the trio of dazed vampires. "What are your names?"
"...what?" the sole girl asked, clearly confused.
Xander sighed. "Names. Now."
"I'm Steven," the chubby Asian boy with glasses blurted out. He jabbed a thumb at the boy by his side, "This is Greg." And then an index at the bespectacled girl, "That's my cousin, Lisette."
"Okay, thank you," Xander nodded slowly, watching the three of them squirm and trying to act like he didn't enjoy it a little. "Now… you guys have… three?" He tilted his head to the side, considering for a moment before nodding. "Three minutes to convince me not to kill you."
The boy wearing glasses with the popped collar could only blink, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. The other two stared at Xander, their eyes wide and their jaws practically on the floor.
"What?" the boy finally managed to croak out, his voice hoarse and weak.
"Go."
The three vampires scrambled to their feet, their eyes wide with panic as they faced the devil who had just given them an ultimatum. They glanced at each other, a silent conversation passing between them, before the girl with the pigtails, Lisette, spoke up, her voice high-pitched and frantic. "We didn't... we didn't want to do any of this. It was all Hester's idea," she said, her hands waving in front of her. "She was our friend, and she... she got us all turned. Said it would be cool, that we could live forever and be young and go to cool parties and just play video games and stuff."
The boy with the popped collar, Steven, nodded frantically, his head bobbing up and down like a toy on a dashboard. "Yeah, yeah! And like, we just wanted to see future cars and technology and all that. We didn't want to hurt anyone, honest!" His words tumbled out in a rush, tripping over each other in his haste to explain.
Greg, the other boy, chimed in, his voice quivering. "We've been stealing blood from the hospital, because we didn't want to drink from people. Only Hester ever drank from people!"
Xander raised an eyebrow, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked over all of them with a skeptical look. Stealing blood bags, huh? he thought, a hint of amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth. Gotta give 'em points for creativity. "...that not drinking from people thing? Is it cause you didn't want to kill or cus you were too lazy to?"
Steven shifted uncomfortably, his eyes darting to the side as he fidgeted with the collar of his shirt. "More the first, but also... we didn't really have a lot of clothes and didn't wanna mess up the ones we had. Blood's really hard to get out," he admitted, his voice small and sheepish.
The other two shot him horrified looks, their eyes wide and mouths agape. 'Why would you say that?' was written all over their faces, as clear as if they had shouted it out loud.
The Fiend grinned, a flash of white teeth in the darkness. "I like you," he said, pointing at Steven with an outstretched finger.
"Honesty, that's good," he clapped his hands together firmly. "You know, for a leech, you're alright." And here I thought all vampires were lying, murderous assholes, Xander mused silently. The more you know...
Steven blinked at the compliment... insult? as Xander nodded slowly, his head tilting from side to side as if weighing their words. "Hmm. Hmm," he hummed, the sound thoughtful and drawn out. The vampires held their breath, not daring to move or speak, as if the slightest twitch might set him off. He enjoyed the fear honestly, as long as it kept them in line.
A moment later, Xander cupped his chin, his expression serious. "I've made my decision," he announced, the vampires tense as his voice went hard.
"I'm not gonna kill you."
Lisette's eyes widened, a flicker of hope sparking to life in their depths. "You're gonna let us go?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Xander snorted, the sound dismissive as he shook his head. "As if," he let out a cackle, rolling his eyes. Like I'd just let a bunch of leeches slink off into the night.
Steven frowned, confusion etched on his face. "But you said..."
Xander interrupted, one hand swinging down like a knife as he made a buzzer sound, the noise loud and jarring in the quiet of the graveyard. "I said I wouldn't kill you, not that I'd let you go," he clarified.
Greg swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "So what are you gonna do to us?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly. "Like... torture?"
"Wow... uh, no. That leather might be getting to you, buddy. Pull it back a littl. I'm thinking…" Xander tapped his chin. "Internship."
"Isn't that another word for slavery?" Steven asked, wringing his fingers together.
"Yes."
"...Oh... do we get snacks?"
"Ask again and it's gonna be a no," the dark-haired Fiend shot back, shooting the chubby vamp a look.
"Oh..." The Asian boy deflated for a moment, before brightening slightly. "...so that's a yes."
Is this what Sam feels like with me? He frowned slightly, letting out a sigh That guy must be a saint. "Any more non-stupid questions?"
The vampire boy's cousin spoke up, clearly as fearful as the other two. "W-where is this internship?"
"Great question," Xander smirked, a glint in his eye that made the vampires shift uneasily. "You guys ever heard of Rosen Queen?"