Growing Pains II
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24 Hours Later
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"Angel's a vampire?" Willow's stunned reaction matched Buffy's, her green eyes wide with disbelief. The redhead's voice was hushed, even though they were sitting outside on the quad, surrounded by the bustling activity of the short period before school would start. The early morning sun cast long shadows across the concrete, the air still crisp with the promise of a new day.
Xander clicked his tongue, letting out a slight sigh as he leaned back against the bench, his arms crossed over his chest. I'd been expecting something, but this...? He shook his head, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.
The Slayer had met them outside the school just minutes ago, looking distraught and on the verge of tears. She'd barely been able to get the words out as she shared Angel's terrible secret with the Scooby Gang.
Buffy looked ill as she shook her head, her usually vibrant face pale and drawn. "I can't believe this is happening," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "One minute we're kissing, the next minute..." She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
Xander watched with a frown as she turned to face Giles, her eyes pleading as she asked, "Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen?"
Though Giles could be the soul of tact, he had never actually lied to her or any of them. At least, not that Xander knew of.
Still, it was hard for the teen to keep a straight face as the Brit replied, his voice gentle but firm. "A vampire isn't a person at all. It may have the movements, the memories, even the personality of the person it took over. But it is a demon at the core. There's no halfway."
The boy in the green t-shirt and silver pendant chose not to say anything about that, his lips sealed despite his misgivings. His time with Rosen Queen had given him some insider information about demons, and vampires as well.
Huh… feels weird to know more than G-Man does. Is this why he's so smug? Xander thought to himself, watching as Giles cleaned his glasses with a handkerchief. Many demons were far more human than Giles or his people probably knew or wanted to believe, and even vampires…
Well, most vampires weren't soulless. They just usually lacked the part of the soul that let them recognize humans as people, and also made you want to be nice. A social instinct or whatever. Among other things Xander couldn't quite remember off the top of his head.
It was traded off for the demonic essence that made them strong, fangy and all the various other magics that kept their corpse going. They weren't even demon-possessed corpses, just demon-enhanced ones.
Like the Hyena kids apparently, just not… alive.
More than that, there was diversity among the bloodsuckers too. The average vamp you'd ever run across on a late night around these parts probably deserved a good staking ninety-nine percent of the time, but there were plenty of other types out there that you had a good chance to party and play with, rather than treat you like prey. Like the Bella Clan.
Those guys were more models and high-class hookers than proper bloodsuckers, though they did partake. Their whole deal was more the wimpy psychic-vampire thing, though they could get really strong with enough time and emotion-juice. Xander tilted his head to the side, thinking as he looked off into the distance, his eyes tracking a pair of students playing frisbee on the lawn. Hell, even the Bro'os Clan isn't that bad. They usually stick to big game.
Willow looked over at Buffy, her brow furrowed with concern. "So that'd be a no, huh?" she asked, her voice soft and tentative, as if she was afraid of the answer.
Buffy shook her head again, faster this time, her blonde hair whipping around her face. "Well, then, what was he doing? Why was he … good to me? Was it all some part of the Master's plan? It doesn't make sense."
Looking as weary as she probably felt, Buffy sat down with Willow on one of the benches in front of the school, shoulders slumped in defeat. Xander, silent up to now, sat down next to her, his skateboard balanced precariously on his lap. He could feel the rough grip tape under his fingertips as he absently fiddled with the edge of the board, trying to figure out what to say.
Man, this is heavy, he thought. Buffy's going through some serious stuff right now. I gotta say something… but what? He glanced over at Willow, hoping for some sort of guidance, but the redhead seemed just as lost as he was, her eyes wide and uncertain.
Taking a deep breath, Xander turned to face Buffy, his expression serious. "All right, you have a problem and it's not a small one," he began, his voice low and steady. He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Let's just take a breath and look at this calmly and objectively."
Buffy half-nodded, barely looking at him, as she bit her lip and waited for his verdict.
And Xander handed it to her: "Angel's a vampire. You're a Slayer. I think it's obvious what you have to do." He hated saying it, hated the way Buffy flinched at his words, but it was the truth. No matter how much she might care for the guy, there was no getting around the fact that he was a vampire and vampires around Sunnydale tended to be the worst kind.
Giles sighed, obviously agreeing with him as he crouched down slightly to look at Buffy. Behind him a small crowd of students rushed towards the entrance of Sunnydale High "It is the Slayer's duty," he said gently, his voice almost apologetic.
Xander continued, shrugging his shoulders as he tried to soften the blow of his words. "I know you have feelings for this guy, but it's not like you're in love with him, right?"
Buffy said nothing, but Xander only had to see her face to notice the obvious. "You're in love with the vampire?" he said loudly, eyes widening. "It's been what? Two weeks? I was kidding about the marriage thing, Buff!" He couldn't help the way his voice rose in pitch and volume both, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"What?!"
Standing directly behind him, Cordelia Chase reacted with shock, perfectly plucked eyebrows shooting up to her hairline.
Fuck! Xander pulled a face, mentally kicking himself for not keeping his voice down. "Not vampire," he said sternly to Buffy, trying to cover his tracks. "How can you love an umpire? Everyone hates them! Bad calls all around." He forced a laugh, hoping that Cordelia would buy his lame excuse.
Cordelia's nostrils flared like those of a bull ready to charge, glaring at Xander for a single moment. Slowly, however, her attention turned to another girl, her gaze focusing on the hapless victim like a heat-seeking missile. "Where did you get that dress?" she demanded.
Buffy and the others watched as the cheerleader zeroed in on another girl crossing the quad in the exact same dress as Cordelia's, a black number with a colorful pop-art design. Cordelia snapped, "This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost?" Her voice was shrill, her eyes flashing with anger.
The girl tried to scoot away, her eyes wide with fear, but Cordelia was having none of it. She grabbed the back of the girl's dress and tried to read the label, hissing, "It's a knockoff, isn't it?
The girl renewed her efforts to escape but the queen of the fashion police gave chase, her heels clicking against the pavement as she pursued her prey. "It's a cheesy knockoff! This is what happens when you sign these free trade agreements," she snarled, her voice fading as the two disappeared into the building.
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Flatly, Buffy glanced back over at her group and raised her eyebrows, "And we think we have problems."
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Xander and Willow made their way towards Buffy's house, the sun already ducking behind the familiar rows of suburban homes, casting long shadows on the sidewalk. The air was cool against Xander's skin, but he could feel the warm energy in his chest rise, his demonic power throbbing in time with his heartbeat as the sun sank below the horizon.
It made every night so much better, it was almost addictive. Like a shot of espresso straight to the veins but without the jitters or the inevitable crash. Just pure, unadulterated energy coursing through his body, making him feel like he could take on the world.
Or at least a half dozen vamps, he thought with a grin, his fingers twitching at his sides as if itching for a fight.
If that wasn't enough distraction, Willow's arm was looped through his, her body leaning slightly against him as they walked. The warmth of her skin seeped through his shirt, a constant reminder of her presence at his side. It was comforting, in a way, to have her there. His best friend, his anchor…
My Willow, he thought fondly, glancing down at her red hair as it caught the fading light.
"Can you believe it's only been a couple of months since Buffy showed up?" Willow's voice was tinged with a hint of wistfulness, green eyes wide as she looked up at him. Her face was open, honest, innocent even.
It kinda made him feel like a giant tool for keeping this from her.
"I know, right? We're seeing our home town with new eyes. Scared eyes," Xander replied, his tone light as he tried to inject some humor into the situation, taking his mind off his own thoughts.
He waggled his eyebrows jokingly, eliciting a soft giggle from Willow. "Very scared eyes."
"Yeah, we're learning a lot too..." Willow trailed off, her brow furrowing slightly as she seemed to mull something over in her mind. Xander could practically see the gears turning behind her eyes, that brilliant brain of hers always working overtime.
"Mmmm yep," Xander chimed in, pushing down the sarcasm as much as he could. "Who doesn't love learning? Especially when it involves monsters and things that go bump in the night."
Especially about vampires, he added silently, his mind flashing back to his recent encounters with the undead. He really had learned a lot, that was no joke, and he didn't just mean what he'd learned from the Rosen Queen and its massive library that, in hindsight, seemed way too big for the red-bricked building.
For instance, hitting a vampire hard enough in the neck was enough to paralyze them for a while, anywhere from half an hour to several. Even a regular human could manage it with a bat if they had enough upper body strength or whatever.
Honestly, you don't even need to hit them hard enough to paralyze them, Xander mused, recalling the sensation of his fist connecting with undead flesh. Just hitting them in the throat is usually enough to incapacitate and stun them for a few seconds, long enough to drive a stake in, really.
And you didn't even need to be strong to get the stake through their heart. Bloodsuckers were crazy vulnerable to wood through their heart, it was like their Kryptonite. Vampires were scary but they were far from unstoppable.
Willow glanced up at him, her eyes searching his face for something. Xander felt a flicker of unease, wondering if she could sense the change in him. "Xander, about Angel... I thought you'd care more... you know, because of Buffy."
Xander let out a short laugh, though both of them could tell there was very little humor in his voice. "I do care, Willow. Two hundred forty and sixteen doesn't exactly sit right with me." Some old bag of bones, that's just gross, he thought to himself, suppressing a shudder at the mental image. "Granted, I don't even know what the guy looks like, but an old bag of bones pressed up against a high school girl is just grody."
Willow frowned slightly, scratching her nose with one hand, a nervous habit Xander recognized from years of friendship. "No, I mean... as competition."
Xander snorted, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline as he stared at Willow in disbelief. For real, Wills?
"Competition? For what, Buffy's looo~oooove? Please, Wills, give me a little credit here. I'm not that desperate." He shook his head, a wry grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.
The redhead stared at him, her eyes boring into his with an intensity that made him want to squirm at least a little. "Don't you like Buffy?"
Xander scoffed, waving a hand dismissively. "Of course I like Buffy! We all like her! What kinda question is that?"
"You know what I mean, Xander…" Willow said meaningfully, her voice low and serious. She tightened her grip on his arm slightly, as if trying to anchor him in place, pulling herself closer to him.
He sighed, looking ahead to avoid Willow's inquisitive green eyes as they searched his face for answers. The sun had fully set now, the streetlights flickering to life and casting a soft glow on the pavement. After a moment, he decided to quit avoiding the question, his shoulders slumping slightly as he spoke. "I did. At first. I mean, mostly I just thought she was hot. Still do, not gonna lie… but I don't know, Wills... things have changed."
"Changed?" Willow's voice was soft, full of concern as she tilted her head to the side. A lock of red hair fell across her face and Xander fought the strong urge to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. "What changed?"
Xander hesitated a little, his steps slowing as they neared Buffy's house. The truth was, everything had changed since that fateful night in the alley. The night he'd become... something else. How do you tell your best friend that you've been turned into a Devil? That every night you feel like a different person almost. "You know, just... different. Since Jesse."
Willow's expression darkened at the mention of their lost friend. "Yeah... It's been really hard without him. I keep expecting him to jump out from behind a corner and yell 'gotcha!' or something," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
As they reached the half-open back door of Buffy's house, silence fell over them both, for different reasons. For Xander, he felt the weight of his secret pressing down on him, threatening to crush him almost the longer Willow looked at him. Jesse's gone because of vampires... and now part of me is just like them, he thought bitterly, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.
At the bottom of the steps, Willow paused, turning to face him with a look of concern. "Xander, no matter what's changed... you know you can talk to me, right? I'm here for you, always." She reached out, placing a hand on his chest, right above his heart.
He managed a smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes as he tried to push down the lump in his throat. "Thanks, Wills. It means a lot." I don't know how to tell you I'm a monster though, he added silently, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. I definitely don't know how to do it with Giles breathing down my neck.
Willow nodded, giving his arm a gentle squeeze as she smiled up at him, her face open and trusting. "Anyt-oh my god, Buffy!" Her eyes widened in horror, her mouth falling open.
Xander's gaze snapped up to see Mrs. Summers' body lying on the ground, her blonde hair fanned out around her head like a halo. Buffy cradled her mother's limp form, tears streaming down her face as she pressed a shaking hand to the two small wounds on her neck, blood trailing down her fingers.
He felt the heat in his chest spike violently as his hands clenched, tightened into deadly fists, his fingernails digging into his palms hard enough to draw blood. "Angel."