The ride back to the school was quiet. His head hurt, he was tired, and he wanted to cry. But he didn’t do any of that, simply sat stiffly, swaying with the movements of the bus. He took a breath and leaned his head on Tom’s shoulder, who stilled, looked down then relaxed.

Upon the arrival at the school gates, the two split, Artemis heading to his biology classroom. It was odd he would start down a corridor then be at the end of the walkway, a gap in memory. It kept happening. He slipped into the classroom and Mr Atkeson briefly stopped, then carried on, talking. Maybe five minutes later he saw the man clicking at his computer when the class was focused on work. Ten minutes late could be mistaken for tardiness.

Mr Atkeson was handsome, amiable, well liked, and didn’t particularly care about their education. Most mistook him for being ‘chill’ but the complete lack of care ascribed to them was clearly educational neglect. He was nice, Artemis wouldn’t deny that, but that didn’t mean he cared. Sometimes it felt like he was too familiar with his students, which was odd, Mrs Kilbride had never made him feel like that.

He supposed it may just be his sexism, he was a nice man really, Artemis was just… he didn’t know. It was nothing.

He sat at the back, James was never in his bio classes and Kieran was off in one of his mental health ambassador trips. No-one he knew too well was here. He sat back, calm, and contemplated death.

Two of the boys were arguing about Elon Musk, which actually had been banned in physics because one of the boys, Atticus, never stopped talking about how great the man was.

Which triggered Malik because, to quote Malik, “Elon musk is a narcissist who couldn’t tie my shoelaces.” Artemis didn’t disagree.

“He paid for New York’s pipes to be redone and aid for hurricane Cat.” Atticus said smugly.

Malik laughed, “Which is a fraction of what he owed in taxes for just one year. He doesn’t do it out of goodness of his heart, it's for his ego and the tax write off.”

Atticus huffed, “You just don’t like him because he’s more successful than you’ll ever be.”

Taking a deep breath Malik started to explain slowly, like he was talking to a small child, “Remember when those kids were trapped in a cave in Thailand? Elon proposed they used robots to save them but the professional divers, who were the best divers in the world at spelunking by the way, told him it would only put the kids at risk. Because they did know best. And then Elon called them a nonces on twitter in a tantrum. Then two of them died saving those kids. He has not apologised for calling them paedophiles by the way. Even though they’re dead. That, is why I don’t like him.” Malik finished dramatically

“Yeah… well, that's… he probably had a reason.” Atticus floundered.

Malik was talking a million miles an hour by now, “Oh, for-god’s-sake, the man bought twitter because he thought it made his daughter trans. He’s off his rocker.”

Artemis snorted.

“Well maybe,” Atticus began haughty, always a good start, “People shouldn’t be spreading this transgenderism thing around, it's all in their heads. All this gay and trans stuff is just a fad people are using to get attention. People used to be normal in the past because they had to be and now people are getting all this ‘woke’ stuff from social media.” The classroom was silent and everyone who had tuned the two out looked up from their work to stare at atticus.

Oh, Jess would love this. At first he thought that the mention of transphobia might upset her, but he had since learned that she thought watching compilations of the most ridiculous bigoted arguments served as a source of never-ending amusement for her.

Mr Atkeson for his part looked a bit worried, like he’d let this go too far.

Malik stared, “Are you high? Your name is Atticus you moron, tell the ancient Greeks that no-one was gay or trans, they didn’t get the memo.”

Atticus blustered, as if he was offended that anyone had pointed that out, “Well, they were at war, it was different… it was a necessity-”

Malik snickered, “It’s casual sex, not a life or death emergency.”

Mr. Atkeson cleared his throat, “Uh, boys, aren't we a bit off topic?”

“Name me on transgender from more than ten years ago.” Said Atticus pompously, like he’d won.

“Marsha P. Johnson. She was instrumental in the fight for women's rights in America in the nineteen eighties. It's literally in the America course. You need to revise mate.” A few people held back laughter.

Attticus huffed, “Another thing, I think this whole, women’s rights crusade has gone too far, how much harder can it be-”

A groan went through the classroom and Artemis facepalmed, cringing internally, almost feeling sorry for Atticus for saying something so embarrassing in a room full of people.

Mr Akeson stepped in this time, “Atticus I think that’s enough-”

“But-”

“Atticus, I’m going to ban you from talking at all in this lesson, I think it will preserve what’s left of your dignity and save us all embarrassment.”

“Sir! You can’t-”

Mr Atkenson interrupted him, “Buh, Buh.” In a way that clearly said, shut up.

“I’m going to call-”

The teacher raised a finger and spoke over him, “Buh, buh.”

Atticus waited a second, till the teacher turned his back to say, “My parents-”

“Buh!” Mr Atkeson didn’t even turn around. Well, until a second later when he did whirl on Malik, “And please Mr Brennin, don’t wind him up just because you can, we’re supposed to be covering respiration and unless you’ve already covered the kreb cycle at home, we still need to.” He said, with some good nature and continued his meandering lesson.

The classroom devolved into sniggering whispers and Atticus glared and crossed his arms, glaring at Mr Atkenson with unbridled rage.

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Ten minutes later, a squat man with a clipboard rushed into the classroom. Artemis had seen him zipping around the school before. He looked at Mr Akeson, “Is there an Artemis Fowl? He’s not on the register.”

Mr Atkeson started to speak, pointing “He’s-”

“I’m here.” He spoke.

The squat man nodded, smiling, “Thank you.” Then walked out. So that was his job. Huh.

----------------------------------------

He met with Tom after school, they sat on a table in the English rooms. Three compressed powder pills, one capsule coloured teal and white. “Take this one in the morning, otherwise you won’t sleep.” Tom said, pointing to the blue capsule.

“Okay.” Was all he said.

Tom sighed, “I’m sorry bro, I’m… really sorry.”

Artemis shrugged; he didn’t care enough to figure out what it meant. The room smelled of old books and crisps. It took him back a few years.

“I shouldn’t have left you there or given you any weed. It was kind of my fault.”

Artemis blinked. “It wasn’t… I shouldn’t have been there.”

Tom shrugged and busied himself with packing up his bag. They left the classroom together, splitting in different directions, saying a brief goodbye. Artemis startled when he almost walked into Kieran.

Kieran whose eyes were slightly narrowed, “Was that Tom?”

Artemis stilled, “Yes, we… talk sometimes.” he continued down the hallway.

Kieran sped up slightly for a second to catch up, “Sure. Because you two have so much in common.”

Artemis shrugged, “He’s nice.”

“No he isn’t Artemis. He’s a poncy cunt who takes himself too seriously.” Kieran snipped. “You know he’s a drug dealer right?”

“Oh, the scandal.” Artemis sarked back.

“What are you doing, Artemis? He’s fucking mental. Remember when he broke a kid’s arm last year? For looking at him funny.” Kieran said.

Artemis frowned, “No. I was having an extended ‘mental health break’ last year, remember?”

Kieran nodded, “Oh, yeah. Well, he broke someone's arm.”

“Noted.” Artemis said.

“Artemis!” Kieran started what Artemis was sure to be an extensive rant on putting himself at risk.

----------------------------------------

Artemis tried to shake away the memories, sitting on the small twin bed in his room. He didn’t like this feeling. That life just happened to him. He wasn’t a victim, christ, it was just bad sex, slightly painful, but that wasn’t unheard of. He’d came at some point, either way.

Last week he had woken up from a wet dream about it for frond’s sake. It didn’t matter that he had also woken up with a racing heart, fear coiling in his chest or that his pillow was damp from tears. He was fine.

And he liked the idea of sex. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t going to get around to it at some point.

He tried to ignore how the thought made him nauseous. Sex, his own body, they repulsed as of late. He just needed to get over it, try it again, that might do it. And it wasn’t as if his sex drive wasn’t that of a normal sixteen-year-old boy.

He picked up the bottle of whiskey from his bedside, it was almost empty now. He took a swig, longing for quiet.

A knock at the door.

“Fuck.” He muttered, stashing the whiskey in the cabinet, stuffing the pills in his bedside, he composed himself, “Kieren.” He said, his friend standing outside, eyes peaking out from under his dark curls. A slight five o’clock shadow darkening his face.

That was odd, he usually didn’t notice how Kieran looked, or how his shirt stretched over his broad shoulders.

“Hi.” Kieran swayed to the side a bit, “Are you free to talk?”

“Sure.” Artemis said, not thinking clearly. He stepped back and opened the door.

Kieran was agitated, “Are you okay? Well, you’re not, but what’s going on?” he paced into the middle of the room.

“Sorry, what? Am I-” He frowned; he was fine. He was just- just sick of feeling broken, and he wished people wouldn’t treat him like it. “No, It’s fine. Nothing to worry about.”

Kieran frowned, “You’re too used to managing people around you. And you’re not telling me something.” He sat on the crumpled bed.

Artemis smiled, “Maybe.” Taken aback, feeling a little like Kieran had tipped his world upside down. There were many types of intelligence, and Kieran was one of those people that could say something small and change the way he experienced life.

He hopped up on the bed, crossing his legs. “Maybe I am.”

Kieran raised an eyebrow. Was he always so… ugh. Artemis made a decision, he just needed to get it over with, and it had to be with someone, and he really shouldn’t have invited Kieran in. He really shouldn’t have because Artemis knows he shouldn’t try this with Kieran but he really was handsome and Artemis’ anger mingled with his sexual frustration.

He leaned in, kissed Kieran who froze on contact, then melted into it. Artemis acted on instinct, everything charged and warm and he was climbing into his friend’s lap.

Kieran broke away dazed, “Wow. Okay. That was… Okay.

Artemis went in again for another kiss but Kieran stopped him, “Woah, not that I’m complaining but shouldn’t we… talk. Like, I came to check on you because you’re not doing so well, so maybe this isn’t a great idea right now..”

Artemis groaned, shook his head, “Let’s just get this over with.”

“No. Nope. Concerning language.” Kieran said, his voice sharp, then, hands on Artemis’ forearms, pushed him back, though Artemis was still perched on his lap. It was then Kieran saw it, Artemis hadn’t noticed it either, but his hands were shaking.

Now that he thought about it, his whole body was alert, vigilant, stress tangible.

“What the- what’s going on?” Kieran was dazed.

Artemis was angry at himself and it came out in his voice, “I’m fine, fine. I don’t- Nothing’s wrong. Why would something be wrong?” He shifted to the side, sliding off Kieran’s lap.

Kieran’s eyes held a sadness then. “Maybe because you’re like, freaking out? I… I’m worried about you man.”

Artemis felt his anger wilt, he took a breath. Why did he do this? Why did he always get things wrong? He was trying to use Kieran. He cast his eyes down. Maybe he should tell Kieran, just maybe. He hugged his knees to his chest, “Sorry.”

Kieran sighed, wrapping an arm round his friend, “I don’t know what’s going on but… I’m here”

Artemis leaned into it. He was so tired. He was so fucking tired.

Kieran took a moment then, “You should really ask before doing that, you know. It's not cool.”

Artemis closed his eyes, “You’re right, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He didn’t even want to have sex for Frond’s sake, and he’d just come onto his friend and had a breakdown, which was great because now he wanted to jump out of the fucking window.

Kieran shrugged, “Just ask next time, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Kieran had a smile in his voice, “Good.”

Artemis buried his head in his friends shoulder, “Fucking hell. That was so embarrassing. Fuck.”

Kieran shrugged, “Yeah, It was pretty bad, I won’t lie.” he said brightly.

“Fuck off.”

Kieran laughed, “Really getting into our F’s and C’s huh?”

Artemis snorted, “What do you mean C’s? I have never even once called you a cockwomble.”

Which prompted hysterics in Kieran, “What does that even mean?”

Artemis was completely deadpan, “I mean, Kieran; it’s fairly self explanatory.” he said which lead them onto another unrelated tangent that continued until the small hours of Friday morning.

He was glad Kieran existed. And that inexplicably, he was here, with Artemis for some reason.